SOCIALIZED MEDICINE  11:59 am June 16, 2009

Senator Kennedy’s Health Proposal Is The Suck

by Sara K. Smith

Nurses like this one will be illegal.Sorry, Denby, but your boyfriend Ted Kennedy has written the most awful piece of proposed legislation since Mitch McConnell suggested ending state funding for robotic goat-dildoes back in the Gingrich Revolution. What is so terrible about Kennedy’s healthcare proposal? The Congressional Budget Office NO LIKEY.

The nerdlings at the CBO say that, basically, it will result in a net decline of 16 or 17 million people in the uninsured population, the tune of $1 trillion.

This is not so awesome, given that 46 or 47 million people in the US are currently uninsured. Why does Ted Kennedy want 30 million Americans to needlessly expire from lack of healthcare? He and Chris Dodd, the other man responsible for this stinkwad of a bill, should be fed into a meat grinder.

Y’all read that article in the New York Times a month and a half back about how awesome everything is in the Netherlands, where even marginally employed bloggers get fantastic healthcare and people are just cold shroomin’ in the streets all the time? Let’s move there.

C.B.O. Releases Estimates on Kennedy-Dodd Health Care Bill [The Caucus Blog]

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Hola wonkerados.

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x111e7thst June 16, 2009 at 12:06 pm

People in the Netherlands are taller, thinner and better looking than US Murricans. Because of socialism and legal drugs.

wx insider June 16, 2009 at 12:06 pm

Poor Ted. Years of alcohol abuse have certainly taken their toll. Next he’ll want money to put fences on all bridges on some obscure island in New England.

Listen up younguns… don’t be a Ted!

tunamelt June 16, 2009 at 12:07 pm

I’m sorry. I’d like to talk about health care but I’m distracted by the naughty nurse. Maybe the answer is pacify us with free porn?

SayItWithWookies June 16, 2009 at 12:07 pm

Geeze, and Republicans are finding ways to misrepresent even the CBO report. Enzi (from Wisconsin) is saying that 23 million people will lose coverage — when in fact they would likely switch from one type of coverage to another. It’s nice to know that our interests are being looked after by a gang of people who all race to say the stupidest thing about any issue at any given moment.

Gorillionaire June 16, 2009 at 12:08 pm

How can we pay for that? We’ve got five air forces, 538 military bases and a Halliburton to support!

Capitol Hillbilly June 16, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Paul Krugman explains why this study is “tainted.”

wx insider June 16, 2009 at 12:10 pm

By the way… how much for the girl?

Internally valid June 16, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Hasn’t teddy been working on this legislation for, like, 900 years?

Also, my vote is that we should move to Holland instead.

slappypaddy June 16, 2009 at 12:14 pm

[re=339787]tunamelt[/re]: i could be pacified with a free nurse just like the one pictured. the wife might mind, though, so could we get her one in “young stud” or something similar? we could all be so happy we couldn’t help but be healthy… except…

[re=339789]Gorillionaire[/re]: …we can either have empire or we can be healthy. remember, we have nothing to fear but losing our fear itself.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 16, 2009 at 12:17 pm

Oh please. Sibelius talked about this at length this morning on NPR and gave a very nuanced, rational explanation of why this is ultimately good for everyone. Shame that all the Republicans were too busy blowing their interns to listen to her.

kudzu June 16, 2009 at 12:17 pm

[re=339785]x111e7thst[/re]: I sez amen to dat, brotha.

indigo June 16, 2009 at 12:23 pm

I’m under the impression that a lot of Europe is better off, not just Holland. I’m studying in Italy, and I had allergic reaction to mosquito bites last weekend (embarrassing). I went to a clinic, and the doctor wanted to inject me with things, and I thought it might cost me the rest of my food money, but the doctor assured me it was free. “You Americans are so stingy,” he said. I immediately felt that being American was even more embarrassing than being covered in red bumps. It’s like being a peasant in the Dark Ages, complete with greedy overlords.

AllHat June 16, 2009 at 12:24 pm

True story: my sister lives in NL, got into an accident, needed some minor surgery. Was worried that the system there was going to make her wait a week, A WEEK!, for the surgery. I had to remind her that here they make you wait the week, then reposes your car. If you’re lucky.

forgracie June 16, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Sara looks good in a nurse uniform.

Serolf Divad June 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm


I officially have a new fantasy.

Extemporanus June 16, 2009 at 12:55 pm

Oh how I wish we could return to the halcyon days of Uncle Teddy’s youth, when the teeming hordes of unwashed unemployed were forcibly conscripted into the socialist CCC, and put to work administering Ovaltine colonics and Silly Putty pap smears to every man, woman, and child, in bread lines, for free.

Nerdalicious June 16, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Thank You. Also Wookies.
I can’t believe Sebalius is Miss Frown Face pencil pusher all over the airwaves. Don’t like. Health czar should have been Daschle or Edwards. Hopey needs to give another positive AMA type speech or I’m going to agree with Bill Mahr that this whole healthcare reform is a bunch of hot air BS. I’m starting to miss John Edwards he said he’d take Congress’s healthcare away from them if they didn’t pass a comprehensive bill. He should have been healthcare czar at least.

facehead June 16, 2009 at 1:07 pm

Things that need to be socialized:

– Porn.

– Gay Marriage.

– Twitter.

– Wonkette.

– Guns.

TGY June 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm

[re=339785]x111e7thst[/re]: Actually, it’s the way the wind whips off the Atlantic. Gives you a free sandblast facial, which is good for the complexion.

LBOtomist June 16, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Umm, so…do we think they have nurses in the chat rooms at I like the new commercialized version of wonkette’s porn leanings, but think in a nod to the past that our overlords should solicit some escort service advertising. Not enough whore diamonds on this page. just one man’s opinion.

oh yeah, what sara said about socialism sucks. also.

ProfessorJukes June 16, 2009 at 1:19 pm

[re=339800]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: “at length”, “nuanced”, “rational”? Any other way to guarantee this won’t be picked up/covered by any other news outlets?

qaf June 16, 2009 at 1:27 pm

The CBO estimate didn’t include most of the bill:

I probably won’t like the bill when it’s finished (I’m a single-payer kind of guy), but this is like complaining that a fetus can’t jog.

Hooray For Anything June 16, 2009 at 1:46 pm



Rary Guppert June 16, 2009 at 1:49 pm

i’d like that nurse to shave a bikini line onto my chicken. but of course, my policy doesn’t cover it.

snoidoid June 16, 2009 at 1:58 pm

I loves me some snark, but really …

Have you contacted your state legislators, Pelosi, Reid, and Obama today yet? And tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that?

We need to get all over their asses until they realize that elections have consequences, and there’s gonna be some consequences if we don’t get some real reform!

problemwithcaring June 16, 2009 at 2:00 pm

I just fucking hate Chris Dodd. Everything else is white noise.

sati demise June 16, 2009 at 2:14 pm

All those stupid pols crying socialism need to face the fact that George Bush forced this problem on us with his medicare ‘reform’ (bonus giveaway to big Pharma). If we dont fix this now in the best way our current system is going to drive this USAmerica to bankruptcy.

So, in addition to having +70% of Americans on the side of a public plan we have to head financial disaster off at the pass.
They better rahm through the best public plan possible or we may go all Iranian on these fuc*ers.

nappyduggs June 16, 2009 at 2:16 pm

[re=339957]snoidoid[/re]: I concur. While all of us on the Wonkettzez are severely imbalanced, we should keep our contribution to constructive political dialogue as balanced as possible. Unfortunately my state’s government is too busy being a bunch of dick drips to show up for work and shit. But I’ll scribble something to the White House proper also.

Min June 16, 2009 at 2:18 pm

[re=339892]facehead[/re]: Margaritas.

I’m just sayin’.

octupletsmom June 16, 2009 at 2:18 pm

Come on, you knew that even if every open seat anywhere in the country that was vacant had beem won by a Demmocrat last November that they would come up with a health plan that would suck. YOU KNEW THAT. Or you don’t have the sense that God gave little ducks.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 16, 2009 at 2:29 pm

[re=339973]nappyduggs[/re]: You live in Tennessee too?

sati demise June 16, 2009 at 2:36 pm

[re=339957]snoidoid[/re]: I wrote my wingnut reps-hey, who else has the daily double of McCain and Kyl?

the only thing you can tell these guys:
If you are a man of principal, I expect you to drop your government health insurance and buy it on the, as you say, much better open market.
Have the courage of your convictions, ‘sir’.

Min June 16, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=339987]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: I don’t think so. We’d actually be better off in Tennessee, if the General Assembly didn’t show up for work.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 16, 2009 at 3:12 pm

[re=339995]Min[/re]: Amen to that. The editorial pages of our paper this morning had articles from suburban buttboy Brian Kelsey and local mouthbreathing nutcase Marilyn Loeffel. The stupid, it positively scorches.

Accordion-o-rama June 16, 2009 at 3:19 pm

I had thought Ted was on his last legs, but he looks pretty perky in that picture.

Jukesgrrl June 16, 2009 at 3:24 pm

[re=339798]slappypaddy[/re]: Hot nurse, young stud? I think that’s the health plan Poppy and Bar Bush are on.

twowheeljunkie June 16, 2009 at 3:47 pm

If all nurses look like that everyone would go to the doctor for their annual physical.
Then we’d be healthier and health care cost would plummet.
Oh. And a Hunk for the girls, or the gays. Also
Problem solved.

Harvey Birdman June 16, 2009 at 3:55 pm

Whatever, the shrooms were shit. “Warning: only take one box,” my ass.

thefrontpage June 16, 2009 at 4:35 pm

Is that Sarah or Bristol Palin dressed as the slutty nurse in the picture?!!

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 16, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Say what you want about the Kennedy plan, but don’t forget the fifth of Scotch you get each month for medicinal purposes.

FreedomPoodle June 16, 2009 at 10:59 pm

As one of our freedom poet said :
If half of the nurses screwed half of their patients half of the time
Everybody would be sick all the time…

FreedomPoodle June 16, 2009 at 11:11 pm

Sorry I did not think that the kink could be on You Tube …
Freedom speaking people are rather shy …
But it’s good even if the said poet forgot the half trucknut(s)

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