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IMPORTANT POLICY PROPOSALS

GOOD QUESTION, CQ SPY BLOGGER

No. No. No. Stop it. No. None of that. Stop. The CIA should not use the occasion of a “Twitter Revolution” to secretly attempt regime change in Iran. That’s just nuts. No. Please just stop this. C’mon. The rest of the article explains how this would be an idiotic and terrible idea, so why even? Stop. No CIA. No CIA meddling. No. Stop. Stop it. [CQ/Spy Talk]


10:19 AM on Tue June 16 2009
By Jim Newell
1303 Views

  1. Humpback says at 10:23 am, June 16th, 2009

    But I so love the political title “Shah-en-Shah of the Peacock Throne”.

  2. tehbenton says at 10:24 am, June 16th, 2009

    Anyone listening to you would think that it didn’t work so well the last time. WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

  3. norbizness says at 10:24 am, June 16th, 2009

    Oh, come on… what could go wrong?

  4. But the art of posing a really stupid question and spending hundreds of words refuting it is such a good money generator for the starving writer.

  5. memzilla says at 10:24 am, June 16th, 2009

    This is obviously a CIA recruiting ploy. Best answers will receive a recruiting call from the Agency, along with a personalized waterboard and all the Koolaid you can drink.

  6. gurukalehuru says at 10:25 am, June 16th, 2009

    Yeah, and look how well that worked out for us.

  7. paintitblack says at 10:25 am, June 16th, 2009

    I think the CIA should do a “regime change” on Jeff Stein’s ass. I dunno who he is, and I don’t think I wanna know. And now for: buttsecks, also.

  8. Yes, and it turned out so well when the CIA did that; I can see why you’d love to repeat the experience. These new Ayatollahs just don’t have quite the charm Khomeni did, and demand way too many bombs in exchange for assistance to Central American guerrillas; we need to put in a new Shah to inspire the good old, anti-American revolutionary furvor among the Iranian people.

  9. x111e7thst says at 10:28 am, June 16th, 2009

    I’m thinking the CIA should abduct Ahmadinejad and replace him with an exploding simulacrum which could then be set off at a large rally of his supporters. Who is with me on this?

  10. Wet Work says at 10:33 am, June 16th, 2009

    I thought the CIA invented Twitter.

  11. Oh, why not? We haven’t had a good hostage crisis in ages.

  12. Wet Work: Yes, as a more brutal alternative to waterboarding.

  13. Mild Midwesterner says at 10:35 am, June 16th, 2009

    The Bay of Figs?

  14. Internally valid says at 10:37 am, June 16th, 2009

    gurukalehuru: norbizness: tehbenton: You all forget the advances we have since made in laser technology.

  15. SlipperyDick says at 10:38 am, June 16th, 2009

    Our heroes don’t have time for this. They are too busy protecting us with their predator drones and iron maidens.

  16. The Unfairman says at 10:38 am, June 16th, 2009

    Jim Newell:

    “Stop. No CIA. No CIA meddling. No. Stop. Stop it.”

    Hmm…tell me more…

  17. hobospacejunkie says at 10:39 am, June 16th, 2009

    x111e7thst: Ah, so you watched Total Recall over the weekend also. A great movie to get covert spying ideas from.

    The CIA as it stands now should be burned to the ground & its ashes spread to the four corners. It’s gotten pretty much everything wrong ever. Burn it. It it floats it’s not a witch,

  18. DoctorCulturae says at 10:41 am, June 16th, 2009

    Why won’t counterproductive ideas go away? Oh yeah, short term gain, the province of petty minds. Paging Bill Kristol.

  19. BlueStateLibtard says at 10:44 am, June 16th, 2009

    x111e7thst: I’m thinking the CIA should abduct Jeff Stein, implant a working brain into his skull, and then release him.

  20. spymoose says at 10:46 am, June 16th, 2009

    Not now … I’m on vacation.

  21. rambone says at 10:47 am, June 16th, 2009

    And now for a brief counterpoint:

    9-11!!!!! nEVER FORGET! nO-Bama!!!!

    and so on . . .

  22. x111e7thst says at 10:49 am, June 16th, 2009

    BlueStateLibtard: His body would reject it while the working brain rejected his body. I think it would end up looking like a big vat of pozole was dumped on the floor.

  23. x111e7thst says at 10:53 am, June 16th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: I think I got the idea from an exploding Castro dummy I read about in a Trevanian novel. But hey I might have watched T R this weekend. Drinking was involved.

    I do agree that the CIA is probs not fixable and might as well be deep sixed.

  24. facehead says at 10:54 am, June 16th, 2009

    Woah! Slow it down! Let’s try some diddling first, maybe some casual interloping, and then work our way to full blown meddling.

  25. thefrontpage says at 10:55 am, June 16th, 2009

    The CIA should apologize for Sarah Palin in a Twitter–just to confuse people.

  26. Monsieur Grumpe says at 10:55 am, June 16th, 2009

    Two words. Exploding cigars.

  27. WadISay says at 11:00 am, June 16th, 2009

    Internally valid: If they’re still working on that bomb that turns everybody gay, this might be a good time to try it out.

  28. x111e7thst: Who would be able to tell the difference from the real thing?

  29. Unlearned Hand says at 11:05 am, June 16th, 2009

    You know, if they hadn’t spent so much time trying to undermine the governments of countries in Central America, the CIA might have predicted, you know, the FALL OF FUCKING COMMUNISM.

    Asstards.

  30. Fear of a Black Reagan says at 11:10 am, June 16th, 2009

    Can we make Ahmed Chalabi in charge of Iran now?

  31. gurukalehuru says at 11:13 am, June 16th, 2009

    I like this idea of shitcanning the CIA. Would that save us enough money to pay for Socialized Medicine?

  32. daisy chain says at 11:13 am, June 16th, 2009

    Oh don’t. Stop. Don’t. Stop. Don’t… stop. Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop! God, I love it when the CIA does it dirty like that. Iran totally wants it.

  33. vkladchik says at 11:19 am, June 16th, 2009

    The last time the CIA meddled in Iran (to install the Shah) we wound up with the current fucking regime.

  34. El Pinche says at 11:21 am, June 16th, 2009

    1978 Shoe phone
    2009 Twitter

    THE CIA SHOULD ASSASSINATE AHMENJIHAD AND REPLACE HIM WITH TODD PALIN.

  35. Hominidx says at 11:23 am, June 16th, 2009

    What an awesome way to start an article involving a tenuous political situation!

    “If my aunt had balls, she’d be your mom.”

  36. zenferret says at 11:29 am, June 16th, 2009

    Monsieur Grumpe: Exploding Lands End jackets

  37. Yes. Do meddle, what the fuck. The news cycle is boring these days. We need another war to make teh teevee entertaining again.

  38. The situation does seem to call for itching powder…

  39. Manos: Hands of Fate says at 11:34 am, June 16th, 2009

    Sounds like a great idea. Like Dana Perrino, I don’t know anything that occured before I was born however,so these reference to 1953 puzzle me.

  40. ManchuCandidate says at 11:36 am, June 16th, 2009

    Anyone ever hear of blowback when it comes to Ops in the Middle East?

    It’s not like anything happened in 1979, 1993, 1996, 1998, 2001, etc?

  41. doxastic says at 11:37 am, June 16th, 2009

    Please, do you think the CIA would want to spend all day reading? If they can’t assassinate people via Twitter, they ain’t interested.

    (Oh, and on a serious note, the HuffPo liveblog says Iranian state TV is using clips from Fox News to show that America is dying to mess with Iran right now. Hey Jeff, maybe you’ll make the Tehran 6:00 news…)

  42. SayItWithWookies says at 11:39 am, June 16th, 2009

    All I know is, if we don’t meddle now, Obama might pull our troops out of the Middle East before we have a chance to get them stuck there forever.

  43. 4tehlulz says at 11:41 am, June 16th, 2009

    This story is an Ahmedinejad plant designed to make the opposition look like American stooges.

    I hope he at least pays well, Mr. Stein.

  44. tunamelt says at 11:42 am, June 16th, 2009

    The revolution will be Twitterized?

  45. A Better American Than YOU says at 11:48 am, June 16th, 2009

    Come on now! All that bad stuff took place before the CIA had modern technology. Thank what they could do with one well-placed, state-of-the-art, remote-controlled fart machine. The Shah, Pinochet, Batista … those guys were back in the day of the whoopee cushion.

  46. Cape Clod says at 11:50 am, June 16th, 2009

    Ahmadinejad is too smart to fall for any of the CIA’s tricks. Look how easily he foiled them when he learned of their new exploding tie device.

  47. user-of-owls says at 11:51 am, June 16th, 2009

    I came, I saw, I meddled.

  48. WhatTheHeck says at 11:54 am, June 16th, 2009

    I say we send a U2 plane to fly over Iran. Let it get shot down and the pilot captured.
    Then we can initiate discussions with whomever was the winner of the election.
    Then we can import as many Persian rugs as they can produce.

    Democracy at work.

  49. Crank Tango says at 11:54 am, June 16th, 2009

    Have any of you ever tried waterboarding someone via twitter? Well I have and let me just say I fried my fucking laptop.

    Come to think of it, isn’t twatting a form of torture in itself?

  50. mrsixinch says at 11:54 am, June 16th, 2009

    Cape Clod: If he put on a tie, he would look like the last taxi driver who drove me to LAX.

  51. user-of-owls says at 11:56 am, June 16th, 2009

    OMG! The CIA is going to parachute Mary Worth into Iran!! Diabolical.

  52. 19kevin8 says at 12:14 pm, June 16th, 2009

    Meddling in Iran is a great idea! After that, we can go a-meddling in Central America, South America, the Phillipines… Heck, let’s start carpet bombing Vietnam and Cambodia again, just for old times sake!

  53. El Pinche says at 12:24 pm, June 16th, 2009

    19kevin8: You just gave Bill Kristol and Dick Cheney old man boners.

  54. sati demise says at 12:26 pm, June 16th, 2009

    The CIA tourism board is now importing Lebanese Hezzzboollllla groups for a kick ass tour of Iran.
    hey, its what they do. You can tell by the attractive black ski mask couture.

  55. Mr Blifil says at 12:30 pm, June 16th, 2009

    CIA. Masters of timing.

  56. helzapoppn says at 12:39 pm, June 16th, 2009

    tehbenton: Just from a strictly realpolitik perspective, the “last time” bought us 26 years of the Shah’s regime (pro-Western, anti-Soviet, brutal to the Iranian people, reliable source of oil), followed by 30 years of the Ayatollahs (America=Great Satan, hostage crises, not-so-secret support for Hamas and Hezbollah, a million-plus dead in the war with Iraq, and nuclear brinksmanship).

    Oh, and pistachios were plentiful under the Shah.

    Case closed.

  57. mrpuma2u says at 12:42 pm, June 16th, 2009

    A CIA coup d’etat?? Sure why not. It worked so well before. First they should do it in North Korea, as test. UFB.

  58. TeddyS says at 12:58 pm, June 16th, 2009

    As President John McCain said, “Bomb, bomb, bomb. Bomb, bomb Iran.” Particularly those protestors.

  59. El Pinche says at 2:35 pm, June 16th, 2009

    TeddyS: Imagine a McCain presidency. Right now, Wolf Blitzer would be in his Situation Room(tm) with lots and lots of maps of Iran, and missle footage!

  60. problemwithcaring says at 3:29 pm, June 16th, 2009

    If the feds wanna meddle in a highly indebted third-world country with no real future prospects of economic development but an impoverished, undereducated and largely-imprisoned populace that allows religious nutbags to run their elections, then how about staging a coup in Sacramento? I think most Californians would prefer a a violent, bloodthirsty junta to the shit we got going right now.

  61. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 10:42 pm, June 16th, 2009

    I will miss Jim after they take him to Gitmo.

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