Did you know David Letterman made a perfectly normal political-scandal joke last week about famous human whore “A-Rod” possibly impregnating Alaskan Anger Bear Wingnut Sarah Palin’s famous teen-pregnancy daughter while Sarah Palin was at Yankee Stadium?

And did you know that it became a TOTAL OUTRAGE because, unbeknownst to anyone beyond the Palin Clothes-Stealing Mafia, Sarah Palin had brought one of her many other daughters to the game, probably on the GOP and/or Alaskan State Government tab? And did you know that this daughter was just slightly younger than the other daughter, Bristol, when that elder daughter got knocked up by Levi Johnston, in the Palin family home, in a teen fuck room Sarah Palin created?

Well, then, you should be mightily outraged that the teevee host David Letterman made a joke about Sarah Palin’s famous teen-mom daughter! He should’ve known Sarah Palin is always hauling her family around on somebody else’s dime. There was a GOOD CHANCE she was hauling a younger child to various VIP events in New York. She is a known con artist and grifter, after all.

Shame on David Letterman, for Sarah Palin’s trailer-trash criminal behavior!

(Also, wingnuts don’t watch David Letterman.)

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  • Bruno

    Mama Grizzly is the bestest mommy in the world. I want a LOUIS VUITTON HANDBAG NOW!! OR I WILL HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL I AM BLUE IN THE FACE

  • MrsNateSilver

    If I go the way of the Palin children and do a ton of meth, will this story disappear from my brain, I hope?

  • lulzmonger

    Joke from Letterman about “I can see my mother-in-law’s meth-lab from my house” in 5, 4, 3 …

    (I hope)

  • Jukesgrrl

    Another snow job from Caribou Barbie. She probably isn’t going to let up until Letterman buys advertising on the the First Stud’s snowmobile (YES, I said “mobile” and I said it on purpose, you bitch grifter.)

  • Mr Blifil

    Funny story: At the game, A-Rod actually did fuck Trig.

  • Zorg

    Letterman should have made a joke about Sarah Palin’s totally white-trash-grandma toe nail polish at the autism event on Sunday, June 7. Then he’d be a hero rather than a zero.

  • Potater

    I think, just to get his dignity back, Letterman needs to get teen pregnant, on stage, and give birth, on stage. He then needs to name his resulting mutant daughter UHaul and then get her knocked up by A-Rod when she turns 18. That way, the circle is complete. Speaking as a trained PR agent, I think this is his best option.

  • Ken Layne

    [re=339523]Zorg[/re]: Oh, he’s already a Hero … he’s beating the “Tonight Show” again! (But it’s Conan O’Brien’s “Tonight Show,” which in theory we would enjoy, had we not last seen the “Tonight Show” when Johnny Carson retired about 50 years ago.)

  • Udargo

    I’m glad we all finally found something we can agree on: It doesn’t matter what your intent was, all that matters is how other people choose to interpret your actions.

    I’m going to go put a bullet through the roof of my mouth now. I hope that doesn’t offend anybody.

  • Hominidx

    Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez, is he going to fucking apologize for this forever?
    Was their a moosehead in his bed?

    Dave, you toothless ninny, regrow testicles soon plz.

  • hobospacejunkie

    I just watched Letterman’s apology. IN HD NO LESS. If this was back in the days before all-digital HD transmission there’s no way he would’ve said sorry. HD does ʎuunɟ sƃuıɥʇ to a man…

  • Lord Growing

    Pay attention. This is what happens when you offend Mark Shields.

  • Zorg

    [re=339527]Ken Layne[/re]: Ken, I believe the real “Tonight Show” was with Jack Paar, which ended in 1962. Back then, sonny, talk shows had guests who could actually talk and have something to say, such as Gore Vidal, Truman Capote, William F. Buckley, Jr., Norman Mailer and Jack Kerouac. If actors appeared, it wasn’t to flog a movie, it was because they were good storytellers. I remember Peter Ustinov and, my favorite at the time, Christopher Morley. I don’t remember a single appearance by an athlete or a lingerie model.

  • DoktorZoom

    America will not be safe until David Letterman is executed on live TV along with Joe the Plumber.

  • OReillysVibrator

    Sort of disappointed in Dave for apologizing, but I guess it’s noble to take the high road against Pure Trash.

  • Neilist

    Silly me: I kept waiting for the punch line. But he apparently was serious about apologizing for making fun of a trailer-trash whore and her skank daughters (both of them).

    The Mind Reels . . . .

    What a groveling coward. Letterman needs to grow a pair . . . of TRUCKNUTS!

    Or better yet: Sam Kinnison needs to come back from the dead.

    Carrying Benazir Bhutto’s rotting corpse, so Naked Bunny and I can get hitched.

  • OReillysVibrator

    [re=339527]Ken Layne[/re]: Kenny Wonkette seems to make known their disinterest in late night TV, and to an extent topical jokes in general, what’s up with that?

  • Internally valid

    Fair warning: Reading the youtube comments is like dipping your face in sulfuric acid. The goggles, they do nothing.

  • Mr Blifil

    Hey did that there Bush fella ever apolgize for all those kids who…uh…died violently (as opposed to one’s who were teased on national teevee)?

  • SayItWithWookies

    A: A pit bull eventually lets go.

  • ZorinZorin


  • Zorg

    Tomorrow, Letterman will make a bulging ballsack comeback by asking the audience, “What’s the difference between Sarah Palin’s mouth and her vagina?” Two beats, then “Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina.” Rim shot. Cut to commercials.

  • chascates

    Coming from the tarted-up God Barbie who herself was pregnant when she got married and then had a daughter who was likewise knocked up and didn’t even get married . . . this takes a lot of goddamned gall.

  • charlesdegoal

    The problem with Letterman, as I see it (albeit from a distance and time zone that do not allow me to watch him regularly), is that he tries to be a little too smart. The single most important quality that Jack Paar and Johnny Carson shared (I will not even mention their lame successor) was the fact that their ignorance extended to all aspects of human knowledge, so that they were not afraid – as Zorg reminds us – to bring on intelligent guests.
    Once you try to pass yourself as smart, you have to apologize for your inanities.

  • glamourdammerung

    I seem to remember a certain Governor going on about “screw the political correctness” a couple of weeks back. I would hate to think it was Palin because we all know she is not a total hypocrite that would say such a thing then throw a fit about a joke.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    When Letterman apologizes to Palin, the terrorists are winning. Expect a full Green Revolution tomorrow, after Glenn reminds us of the dangers of “going green,” and our media is shut off because of evil, swine-flu containing dissidents. HUZZAH.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=339545]ZorinZorin[/re]: TRUEZ. BUT HE WOOD FIV TRUK NUTZ A BAD NAIM.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Any word if they have released Letterman’s kids yet?

  • SendLawyersGunsAndMoney

    Actually, quite funny considering Trig is actually #2 daughter’s kid instead of Governor Bunnybrain. So many teens knocked-up in hillbillyland, it’s a natural step to assume all are fair game. Please sign the petition asking Bunnybrain to give Piper a chance to grow up a bit.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    You know, this will all seem really silly when Willow pops out her multi-racial kid in nine months.

  • druranium

    Sarah Palin is a moron who should have been rendered surgically infertile so she could not spread her contaminant idiocy to the rest of the country. Is that wrong to say? I will start working on my apology statement

  • wonderboom

    Today, we are all Lettermans.

  • Dustin de Wynde

    Christ almighty and Lord have mercy, I just woke up to find that this bullshit is still going on?

    Matt Sludge has a ZOMG!! Stop The Presses! Alert The Media! Link up there is going to be a protest going on outside the Ed Sullivan Theatre this afternoon.

    If I were The Late Show’s producers and I wanted pure comedy gold tonight I’d lose the monologue, bump all the guests, and just stone cold plant the cameras out there among the Wingers and let ’em all speak directly, and over-share their unfiltered views with the American Pubalick, for the full hour, without David saying a single word.

    When I was a kid and first read 1984 I could never understand why Orwell placed so much emphasis on ‘Sex Crime. in the book’

    Now, sadly, I do. Also.

  • druranium

    Yesterday, CNN/MSNBC as of 8am Pacific Standard Time was running an “Is the Progressive Auto Insurance commercial depicting two gay men walking into a strange white warehouse exchanging wristwatches and buying gay auto insurance?” story every hour, at the hour….what is going on? Is there something happening…are the gays taking over?????
    So yeah, this Palin bullshit is still kicking around as well. Should we firebomb ted turner and tom brokaw’s homes? how else to proceed…..

  • villageatrois

    [re=339584]druranium[/re]: “are the gays taking over?????”

    Yup. When Levi knocked up Bristol, she had to stand in line behind a lot of hockey fans.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …whats the over under that Willow is discovered to be sexually active?!

  • The Legend of TeaBagger Vance


  • bricks

    This was better than Levi’s apology for statutory-raping Bristol-

    Oh wait…

  • druranium

    Oh, snap…screw you pens…you’re all homos. I always knew there was something funny about watching hockey. They just look so canadian!

  • Holy Cow!!

    Shame on Letterman for giving that brutally stupid media whore, who would crap on a paper plate and eat it if it got her some airtime, another opportunity to run her latest version of the lipstick-on-a-pig-panic scam.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Seriously, who the hell cares about this crap anymore? How many folks do you think they’re going to find in the NE to protest Dave? It’s going to be a pathetic mixture of tea baggers, PUMAs and racists.

  • Chickensmack

    Letterman also had to apologize to Bill Hicks’ mother this year. It took him 16 years to pony up that apology; but he lays down for this skank in one week?

    He’s dead to me. I’m watching an Irish troll for my evening funnies.

  • Big Liver

    I’m annoyed at Letterman for going for a cheap laugh the price for which we’re paying in the form of having to endure all the attendant outrage. Better to have used a more appropriate forum, like this one. Now it’s become like shit; the more you stir it, the more it stinks.

  • Lilybart

    I suspect Letterman will now go after her relentlessly, dropping little zingers every night, barely perceptible, not enough to gather the protesters, so infuriating to her.

    I depend on him to do this.

    She only made this an issue because, as her treasurer said, she makes lots of money for her PAC when she gets herself in the news.

    Media Whore of Babble On

  • Dean Booth

    This is not about morality, it’s about fund-raising. Every offence they can nit-pick is money in the bank.

  • Lilybart

    Here is the kicker: there is NO evidence that daughter Willow was even at the Yankees game, as Palin claims.

    NO photos, NO video, NO mentions in any write ups. Mentioned are the Couples on a double date, the Ghoolianis and toad and scarah. NO mention of any kids. NONE.

    And if no daughter was at the game, her outrage has some splainin to do.


    So very sick of the Palin’s. Make it stop.

  • Paterlanger

    [re=339548]Zorg[/re]: bann-hammer, please.

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=339581]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: Great point. Putting cameras on them for the entire show would be brilliant. Could be a throwback to Jack Paar/Steve Allen days of person-on-the-street interviews (re-borrowed from Leno & Stern). In the background, Schaeffer & the band could play underscoring as subtle and not-so-subtle commentary. He’s already been doing this, but maybe he could let it get even more chaotic.

    Who knows, it might rejuvenate the form away from the exhausting parade of industry hoors. Reality teevee? How about this?

    He’d better respond with teh apt retort or else there’s going to be more Repubsmut piling on, soon. The Gov is going to hammer him with family-family-family & me-me-me whining childishness, apology or no.

  • Rary Guppert

    keith olbermann appears to have some testicles to spare, dave. maybe he could loan you some.

    the more i watch liberals apologize to cons for doing nothing wrong, the more i think KO is the only liberal with any intestinal fortitude. (well, that and wonkette, of course, which is probably why the two of you fight so much, because you’re so alike…)

  • TGY

    But when will he apologize to Rush?

    Seriously, fuck it. Fuck Sarah Palin and the lame, snowbilly, inbred horse she road in on.

  • Min

    He ought to apologize for giving the Palin family any more attention. ‘Cause you give ’em an inch, they take a mile, and then they build a bridge to nowhere on it.

  • Canadian Rap Star Flavour Flav

    I think he ought to say “I will never joke about her again. I will restrict my humor to people who are interesting, relevant and/or have skin that isn’t the thickness of an onionskin.”

    My favorite aspect of this kerfuffle is that, by saying she looks like a “slutty flight attendant” (which she does), he somehow slandered all flight attendants. All flight attendants ARE sluts, but that’s not what he said at all.

    Palin has a huge talent for finding tempests in teapots, and when the teapot is empty, going out and buying more tempests and loading them into a teapot. Where am I going with this? She’s the worst person since Hitler, that’s where I’m going with this.

  • thefrontpage

    Sarah Palin should apologize for Troopergate, for firing her Public Safety Commissioner for doing his job, for intimidating countless state government employees, for supporting criminals, for being a moron, for being an idiot, for doing a terrible job as governor of Alaska, for being an embarrassment to the Republican Party (which is pretty hard to do!), for being an embarrassment to this country, for her husband, for her family, for traveling all over the country at taxpayer expense when she should be home taking care of her family and running the Alaska state government, for completely alienating all of the state’s legislators, including many Republican state legislators, for being a terrible speaker, for busting on David Letterman, who is a comedian and a fine individual, and for generally being a stain on society.

    Where’s Palin’s apologies?

  • mcfrady

    That what’s known in the “biz” as a “non-apology, apology.” Letterman, was contrite but not sorry.
    He’s only sorry he missed his chance to some how, implicate Giulliani in the joke.
    Something like: “Who would A-Rod have sex with first? One of the Palin kids, or Rudy wearing a blue taffeta dress and high heels.
    And as ‘Dean Booth’ says, “This is not about morality, it’s about fund-raising. Every offense they can nit-pick is money in the bank.”
    There’s no proof the kid was at the damn Yankee’s game.

  • Gorillionaire

    So, is Palin still governator of Alaska, or just governor of B-List Celebrityville?

  • Makeithurt

    OK, yeah, the rape thing was kinda pushy.
    Howsomever, why the fuck does anyone have that twat’s name in their mouth anyway?
    Palin is the new Clinton Blow Job source of endless stupid inane kickingadeaddog pleasestopit goddamned late night humor. FUCK! We finally got rid of Leno. Dave? Are you next, please?

  • Crazybroad

    Who does Caribou Barbie think she is, she’s traipsing all over the country playing the role of wingnut idiot hypocrite hillbilly and dragging her nasty grifting family along as props. I would be deeply concerned if David Letterman DIDN’T jump ALL OVER that! C’mon. Even Paris Hilton had a better sense of humor about this, and Dave’s jokes about her were waaaaaay more tasteless and offensive. (Score 1 for the original Barbie, I guess …)

  • liquiddaddy

    [re=339535]Zorg[/re]: Lord, half those dudes were gay, and who knows what Norman Mailer thought he was? Add Quentin Quisp, Rip Taylor, Tony Randall, Phylis Diller, Dom Deluise, and Charles Nelson Riley, I guess gay people were the best story tellers.

    BTW, Johnny never apologized to Wayne Newton.

  • Zorg

    [re=339780]liquiddaddy[/re]: They’re still the best story tellers. Think John Waters, Pedro Almodovar, Tony Kushner, Karl Rove…

  • katrina

    When will A-Rod get HIS apology?

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