Wonkette
Here’s another one of those “careful, measured, intelligent” responses from Barack Obama, who once again refuses to fly into a foreign country and personally kill everyone in the government for its questionable election results. [YouTube]
SOUNDS LIKE HARVARD TALK TO US
Barack Obama Fails To Declare War On Iran
Read More:
7:22 PM
on Mon June 15 2009
By
Jim Newell
1857 Views
Iran! LOL
He is not showing solidarity because he is NOT wearing a green tie, as Sullivan has insisted he do at all times. Wait, is the YouTube bar green now because of this?? So confusing — I feel like I should be drunk.
Maybe he wasn’t going on the news and commenting on the situation because he was recovering from a chemical peel over the weekend.
Just sayin’: dude looks great.
That’s a slippery slope right there. If we go around letting a sovereign nation like Iran decide it’s own destiny, then every nation will want to.
Nice to see the editors now backtracking and just calling the results “questionable.”
I wonder if the commenters will maintain the opinion of Lieberman, McCain, and the Weekly Standard.
Also, I totally agree the election was just like Ohio 2004. A retard was sadly re-elected and the opposition made themselves look like tin foil hat conspiracy theorists by questioning the legitimacy of the vote.
El Bombastico: Why aren’t you? I’m drinking gimlets to show my solidarity with the Iranian resistance. The lime juice makes them revolution friendly *hic*.
Mitt Romney & Joe Scarborough both blame Barry’s Cairo speech for this whole thing. Brit Hume says because of the election results now we can’t talk with Iran. Although he said the exact same thing last year. McCain says we need to act now, NOW, NOW!
But on the plus side the scheduled Twitter maintenance update is put on hold in lieu of the Iranian situation and the profound actions it might have on the Republican twitterati.
Okay, so let me get this straight: he wants dialog with Iran, yet is troubled by recent developments; Americans are inspired by the Iranian resistance and Iranians’ voices deserve to be heard.
Good lord, no wonder people feel less safe every time he opens his mouth.
This will not do. Barry must be impeached NOW! If we cannot bomb anyone we want, then the terrorists have won!
El Bombastico: I feel drunk without hitting the sauce. The crawler on the vid there sez “CIA chief sez Cheney hopes for a terrrrist attack”. So I hop over to Google news, where I find, on this subject, the headline from the usually non-snarky Christian Science Monitor: “Media Loses Collective Mind”.
Wait. What’s snarky about that?
SayItWithWookies: You’re smarter than that, Wookies. You know what he meant.
octupletsmom: You should have seen the headline on The Economist’s site: “Media Goes Completely Batshit, Fo’ Realz”.
SayItWithWookies: You wrote “people” when you obviously intended to write “cretinous, neanderthal, Limbaugh-boot-licking, Republican-talking-points-chanting, Bush-Cheney-apologist mouth-breathers.”
Texan Bulldoggette: Damn my dry humor. I meant that all those things sounded perfectly reasonable — and it’s ridiculous that anyone would say that kind of talk makes us less safe. Booyah.
All I heard was, “Blah blah blah I want to sex you right now, you know you want it baby, blah blah blah”.
And I support that.
SayItWithWookies: Worryingly rational in the face of a situation that calls for panic. This will not do.
Why is that guy from the Oprah Winfrey show talking about this instead of Oprah herself?
…shouldn’t he be giving this press conference in a cave somewhere, while holding an AK-47?
Cicada: Absinthe is the official drink of the Iranian revolution, but only if drunk straight up, no water or ice.
Perot le fou: Yeah. “Questionable.” Everything written by the editors is in air quotes. It’s ironic with a touch of dystopic ennui. Take away the air quotes and it becomes “farcically outrageously mind-bendingly corrupt chicanery.” You know, the kind that’s so beyond the pale people organize rallies knowing there’s a good chance they’ll be beaten with pipes or shot by “security” forces. Stop being a douche. I hear the New America Foundation’s Iran Project is looking for fluffers. You get to go right to the front of the line.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: You don’t get it. Osama is movin’ on UP.
…all of this violence and political upheaval would have never happened if we just bombed them into extremism like Dick Cheney and John Bolton wanted us too; DAMN DIRTY HIPPIES!!!
Mr Blifil: Had you even heard of the New America Foundation before today? It’s a minor organization with slight neo-conservative tilt. All the well known, establishment neo-conservatives are on your side.
Facts are on my side.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: Oprah is currently having her entire body tattooed green on board a B-52 which is airlifting her to Tehran.
When she lands she will promptly declare ownership of the middle east and announce the book of the month.
Perot le fou: You sound more disagreeable than the real Perot. And he is like 147 years old.
Perot le fou: I believe you intended to say “Farts are on my side.” Fixed, thanks.
Perot le fou: You have a side? Pray tell.
*sits expectantly with hands under chin*
Mr Blifil: Perot le fou: What did I say earlier? Whatever the word, my “opinion” is, “I have no fucking clue because I am a blogger in Washington and not privy to voter data in Iran.”
Perot le fou: By the way MENSA president, the facts are not on your side in that, due to your genetic inability to read shades of intended irony, you took the use of the term “questionable” at face value, and then claimed that the term “questionable” represented a walk back on the part of the Wonkette Regime. As I pointed out above, the editors are being consistent, even as they ape the sober tone of august newspapers with intent to skewer. There is no “walk back” the editors were kidding by using understatement to prove a point. All of which is to say you are a dickless wonder. I’ll listen to your “facts” when you are twatting them from the streets of Tehran. In the meantime please content yourself with sitting on my face.
Perot le fou: I’m not going to change my mind just because I happen to agree with a group I find odious. I’ll leave that to the Republicans.
Sure Ahmadenijad might have legitimately won — but with an electoral process designed with manipulation in mind, how would anyone find out for sure. Lots needs to change in Iran. And if all protesters end up doing is making the electoral process more transparent and responsive to the will of the people, then they will have set the stage for an electoral revolution in four years.
Jim Newell: Ergo, no “walk back” THANK YOU
A measured response from the Leader of the Free World? Uh, I’m not sure how I feel right now. Proud. Happy/Angry (that may just be the sugar talking). The Iranian election and the “longest speech of his career” to a room full of booing doctors. W would have needed a month to get all this figured out.
sati demise: If you can drink absinthe straight up then you are a better man than I. (despite not being etc.)
Cicada: Well in that instance, I meant people who say the election wasn’t rigged. I guess my overall position is too nuanced to be considered part of any side.
I wanted Mousavi to win. I thought he had a good chance. The official election results seem totally believable too though. I don’t see any reason why they aren’t believable.
The tactic of all oppositions since Yushchenko (who really didn’t have a case) has been to claim fraud whether there was any or not. That’s why Mousavi claimed victory with just as high a percentage as Ahmadinejad before the polls had even closed.
SayItWithWookies: What happens in the unlikely even there’s a successful revolution, the votes get recounted, and Ahmadinejad really did win? Then the reformists really would be fucked.
I’m all for revolution but it’s too important to base on a lie.
Sorry, Yushchenko DID have a case.
Perot le fou: But you come on all aggressive-like, and sound like you’re itchin’ for a fight with the WOnkette over wording. Are you just looking for a confrontation? If so, there are better places to go.
Perot le fou: Yes, those people rioting, the people who have lived & experienced the previous weeks, the election and the current aftermath, the people who more than anyone else on earth save Ali Khameini know what’s happening in Iran, those people are tinfoil hat-wearers, deluded in their belief that the election was stolen from them. It’s all a CIA plot to destabilize Iran so we can start a third war and take over another country waiting to shower us with flowers. The rioters, Iranians, are so conspiracy theory-driven they won’t believe the beloved Amahdi won fair and square, because they are dupes of the western press, which as good as boycotted the weekend’s activities, but let’s not let that get in the way of a good argument.
Perhaps it hasn’t occurred to you that the rioters are as incensed by the lack of transparency in this election, their government, and 30 years of antediluvian social policies, as they are by the rigged election results. Couldn’t be. They wouldn’t know their ass from their elbow without the meddling west telling them. Just another silly bunch of spoiled, middle class pseudo-revolutionaries egged on by the west. Makes perfect sense, especially in light of the NYT’s front-paging yesterday of a story headlined Iran Leader Emerges With A Stronger Hand.
SayItWithWookies: Sorry, Wookies. Thought we’d lost you to the dark side!
I would post but I don’t want to upset Dana Carvey’s streak. OH FUCK.
Perot le fou: A handmade chart, and an endearingly cornpone analogy or two, might enhance the elucidation of your position. Or maybe you could just pull your head out of your ass and stop talking so much shit. As Barry likes to say: “We can be le fou without being le fool.”
Perot le fou: If there’s a revolution and they recount and Amahdi really did win THEN SO FUCKING WHAT? If that happened they still get what they want — a government they elect transparently. That wouldn’t fuck anyone but the conservative clerics and their secular buttlickers. The greenies still win. Revolutions “based on a lie,” whatever that means, are still revolutions. They aren’t rioting over just this one election, as I just wrote in my previous unhinged screed. Shit’s been building up for years.
Perot le fou: Sure, sure walking it back…
Cicada: Did I call anyone MENSA president?
hobospacejunkie: There are huge protests for secular government all the time in Turkey. Do you think the Justice and Development Party is rigging elections? The protest in Iran are big but they are not more than half the country.
Mr Blifil: Good god. Why has there been such an infiltration of douchebins on Wonkette, bothering the editors over semantics and phrasing, when in fact, the words and phrasing are correct, just not in pitch-perfect congruence with a specific commenter’s weakass opinions??
And I love that there are people claiming to have the “facts” on a days-old election in Iran. Jesus fucking christ.
Texan Bulldoggette: Ha — I’ve not gone ’round the bend quite yet.
Perot le fou: If the recount is what they march for and the recount is what they get, then they haven’t solved anything — the stage is still set for manipulation. Iran currently doesn’t allow outside election monitors; the candidates have to be approved by a board of clergy before they’re even allowed to run; the government can shut down forms of communication used by the opposition in advance of the elections, as they did this time. There’s plenty to reform. Institute those and — as I said — they will elect their way to a more democratic nation. Maybe it’ll take four or even eight years. That sounds kinda crummy until you compare the timeframe to Iraq, where we’ve been for six years and it’s still a hellhole and we’re paying ten billion a month for.
I think we should have a party for the return of AngryBlakGuy. I’ll bring the cake, who’s basement can we have it in?
Perot le fou: Nice but obvious ploy. Muddy the waters with extraneous “facts” which have nothing to do with the topic at hand. Try again. Turkey ≠ Iran.
magic titty, Perot le fou, Mr Blifil, hobospacejunkie, Extemporanus, Jim Newell, The Iranian People: Omg! All this arguing over voting! Please stop!
Where is Ralph Nader when we need him?
magic titty: I’d like to respond to these accusations about semantics but I know I’d just be digging myself deeper into a hole. Having a slightly serious debate (even with occasional cursing!) makes you a “douchebag” but automatically calling everyone who disagrees with you a neo-conservative and an idiot is just fine.
hobospacejunkie:
Protests ≠ Stolen elections
Harsh government response ≠ Stolen elections
Perot le fou: No, but then, neither did I. Troll on, buddy-roo.
octupletsmom: Yeah, Panetta was all “Cheney’s an ass and it’s sounding like he wants the terrorists to blow something up just so he can go ‘told ya -so you should have let me put them on the rack where I’d personally attach electrodes to their balls”” and the media’s all “oh noes, you can’t say something bad against nice old Dick Cheney” and so all the new networks have been constantly putting on people to yell at each other over it and have everyone shake their heads at mean ole Panetta. Much easier as well as much more pertinent thing to discuss than some dumb oil country full of brown people who don’t speak English.
magic titty: Seriously. An editor like K-Lo would cold honcho this stupid semantical shit until her eyes bled. Too bad she’s not…HEY!
facehead: I’m not arguing about the fucking thing, because I don’t really care about Iran’s fake election so much.
Perot le fou: Eh. I’m tired.
Perot le fou: Where there’s smoke there’s fire.
Protests ≠ Stolen elections
Harsh government response ≠ Stolen elections
Yeah, that’s pretty much the default position for those in power. For those who actually participated in the election, well, I’ll let them decide if there are grounds for protesting its outcome. As for the harsh government response, that happens when the government fears losing its grip on power, elections or no. Harsh government response ≠ Stolen elections does not make any sense.
Whatever, facehead is right. Back to snark.
Fart.
Perot le fou:
Mr. President,
I’m needy too but I really have to caution you about your tactics.
Negative attention seeking behavior may get you what you want in the short-term, but it will leave you feeling frustrated and ultimately un-fulfilled. It’s a nasty cycle that requires effort to break out of.
May I hazard a guess here? If you find it entertaining to spout vague and shifting contrarian opinions in places where you know you’ll elicit an argument, I’ll bet that you are *that guy* at parties, too.
Hint: people don’t actually like that guy. Most often stop short of full rejection or violence out of a sense of common humanity. This sense of shared experience does not guarantee that you will receive many more invitations in the future.
Wonkette is a party. It’s a loose (ha!) community of smart people with an interest in leftish politics, good vocabularies, substance abuse problems and gross compulsive sexual habits. Just sayin’.
Today the Ayatollahs should be saying, “Thank you, America, for electing the guy who was against bombing Iran.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWW1Q73eY8M
meyotch: My opinions haven’t been vague at all. This threat started out with other people making fun of hicks who can’t understand nuance. I figured you people could.
and again with the assuming. You think just because I disagree with you on one thing that I’m “that guy.” No. I opposed to the Iraq War, supported Obama, etc.
I have seen 0 evidence voters for the government were made up or votes for the opposition were disappeared.
meyotch: Ahem — my substance abuse is absolutely not a problem. Other than that, though, a pretty accurate description.
x111e7thst: the Iranian revolution is hard to swallow too.
I was hoping we did not have to talk to little Achmadeniiijjjjiiihhad evah, evah again.
The hallucination is worth a shot.
Looks like the election controversy will be decided by the Supreme Cou–, I meant the Supreme Leader.
Perot le fou: Neither have you seen evidence that the government counted the vote fairly. Even the New American Idiot’s Iran Project as recently as last week were saying that turnouts of 60% (translation: low) would be good for Ahmedinijad. Reports are that turnout was in the 80% range (translation: “high”). This is not “evidence” of voter fraud, but the result of a landslide favoring Ahmedinijad puts the onus on the government to demonstrate that the count was fairly applied. In other words you are still a wenis. Plus you said Yuschenko had no case. YOU SAID IT.
How much more of this liberal pablum must we put up with. Respecting the rights of the Iranian people to choose their leaderships. A real president would have declared them a part of the Axis of Evil and started the bombing already!
Why won’t you people listen to Bill Kristol!
I bet McCain is beating his head up against a Saguaro. “THis coulda been my chance!!!DU MA MAY ! DU MA MAY !! “
Perot le fou:Looking for an understanding of nuance on the internets? You must be new to our planet, welcome fellow being. This is a nice place usually, enjoy your stay and don’t eat the yellow snow.
Perot le fou:
More like the 2000 election, except that in this case the word “hanging” has a slightly more intimate meaning. Let Grand Ayotolah Scalia decide.
Mir Hossein Mousavi, there is life after politics. Start working on your video, “An Inconvenient Torture Prison”, narrated by Flynt Leverett and Hillary Mann Leverett of Politoco and The American Enterprise Institute’s Michael Rubin.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0609/23745.html
http://wonkette.com/409143/neocons-pulling-hard-for-ahmadinejad
http://tpmcafe.talkingpointsmemo.com/talk/blogs/eades/2009/06/usisraeli-neocons-celebrate-ah.php?ref=reccafe
Better the Iranian autocrat that you fear and hate, than the pussy moderate you don’t know. If otherwise, the next step is socialism.
O/T, but Charlie Rose is having a very intelligent and lively show about the election. Check it out on PBS.
Here’s what it looklike to me:
The Obama gives his Hope/Change siren-song serenade to the Muslin World a week and a half before the Iranian election. The Iranians suddenly think “Fuck This Shit, Yes We Can, etc.”, and now they’re pissed to be told that the Republicans won anyway.
The Obamino Effect?
Wet Work: Hilariously, you may well be onto something. Except Mousavi is no Obama - he may hold forth publically about poking flowers into the police gun barrels, but where there are no cameras, his supporters are fighting to the death with the basij. Who are not the police, and are in fact colossal assholes who are killing people, so it’s all good. I bet the kids have wanted to lay into them for years. They’ve already burned down their HQ. Rock on!
meyotch: Wonkette is a party. It’s a loose (ha!) community of smart people with an interest in leftish politics, good vocabularies, substance abuse problems and gross compulsive sexual habits. Just sayin’.
I think I love you.
SayItWithWookies: My substance abuse was a problem. Suboxone is a miracle drug which is far too expensive for non-upper-middle class drug addicts.
Perot le fou: =sniff sniff= =sniff sniff= God, what is that smell? It smells like metal and rubber…Is that a, uh, whatsitcalled? Oh, yeah, that’s right a BAN HAMMER. That’s what I’m smellin’. Does anyone else smell that?
meyotch: “…smart people with an interest in leftish politics, good vocabularies, substance abuse problems and gross compulsive sexual habits.”
Somebody finally gets me. [Contented sigh.]
hobospacejunkie: One of the reasons I’m all in favor of public health care. There’s no damn point in keeping necessary medicine out of the hands of people who can’t pay for it until they need a higher-priced, more urgent solution. But that’s the way we act most of the time.
SayItWithWookies: Amen. To go one step further — to ignore completely all evidence showing a single-payer system will be more cost-efficient, treat us better and make us more healthy due to attention paid to preventative medicine is to demonstrate that lawmakers, AMA and related lobbyists, and the health care/insurance/pharmacological/hospital industries do not care if we die. So long as they get their money, fuck everyone else.
When you make or advocate for decisions that you know will leave millions of people with no access to decent or adequate health care then you are playing God by consigning a predictable and certain percentage of these people to permament disability or death.
Until I see advocacy commercials on TV telling me that we must demand and take the health care system we deserve because our opponents very obviously do not care if we die, then I don’t have much hope for substantive change in the for-profit system we have now.
What is more important than your constituents’ health? What the fuck is Obama waiting to spend his political capital on? A majority of Americans favor a complete overhaul of the health care system. How is it, then, that this majority is not more persuasive to Obama than a collection of greedy, obscene-profit-driven heartless guttersnipes.
I’m gettin’ married in the mor-nin’
Ding dong the bells are gonna chime!
They can’t vote him out of office. We can (yeah right, what other options do we have, and he knows it.)
AxmxZ: Of course, it’s a matter of degree - with a creepy Holocaust-denier for an opponent, Moussavi (or just about anyone else) makes a satisfactory Obama surrogate. Yes, Rock On.
meyotch: “…smart people with an interest in leftish politics, good vocabularies, substance abuse problems and gross compulsive sexual habits.” Belated win, though not necessarily in that order …
So, if John McCain/Sarah Palin had won the election, how many times would they have killed us all by now? Three or four? Though I know that’s not a fair question, since he could’ve only killed us all once.
Wet Work: Mousavi claims to have really mellowed out in the last two decades. I guess we’ll see.
Perot le fou:
Project for a New American Century is not New America Foundation.
Mr Blifil: Consistency?
I resent any attempt at consistency by the editors because it ain’t funny.
MrsNateSilver: Rubber?
Ban mallets are less fun than ban hammers
Mr Blifil: Point of protocol. Don’t you mean that you get to sit on his face?