Wonkette
Oh boy look at this, a midday blog post about Iran from ever-smiling warfapper and on/off Washington Post “lightning rod conservative” Bill Kristol! He is mad at Barack Obama for keeping his silence over the weekend, instead of immersing himself in Iran’s politics (declaring war on Iran). Let’s see if he opens with a nuanced historical antecedent to defend his argument: “On September 2, 1939, in the wake of Hitler’s invasion of Poland…” NEVERMIND.
But to be fair, as always, Kristol notes in the following paragraph that this situation is not exactly like the Nazis starting World War II by invading a sovereign nation.
This isn’t September 1939. But the developments in Tehran are a potentially big moment, signaling the possible transformation or at least reformation of the Iranian regime. American principles and American interests argue for support of the Iranian people in this crisis.
And where is the American president? Silent.
Blah blah liberal sneer hypocrisy blah cheapshot invade:
Some argue that the brave Iranians demonstrating for freedom and democracy would be better off if the American president somehow stayed out of the fight. Really? But Barack Obama is president. His statement wouldn’t be crafted by those dreaded neocons who vulgarly thought all people would like a chance to govern themselves and deserved some modicum of U.S. support in that endeavor. It would be written by subtle liberal internationalists, who would get the pitch and tone just right. And the statement wouldn’t be delivered by the notorious George Bush (who did, however, weigh in usefully in somewhat similar situations in Ukraine and Lebanon). It would be delivered by the popular and credible speaker-to-the-Muslim-world, Barack Obama. Does anyone really think that a strong Obama statement of solidarity with the Iranian people, and a strong rebuke to those who steal elections and shoot demonstrators, wouldn’t help the dissidents in Iran?
Jesus, who knows? Maybe if the “dissidents” actually declare war on the government and organize themselves into a formidable opponent seeking Western alliances, then Obama could say, “Yeah sure, go for it fellas.” Or maybe not. Foreign policy is very hard! But it’s not unreasonable to suggest that publicly siding with those protesters in a big, bold way and renouncing the “sham government” would (a) get all of those protesters labeled as American spies somehow and slaughtered en masse and (b) screw up potential U.S.-Iran negotiations in the future. Which is what Bill Kristol would want, because then “he” would get to invade a non-responsive Iran FREAKING FINALLY, for whatever reason, after decades of begging.
Also: the specific Washington Post blog on which Bill Kristol posted this snippy rant is called “PostPartisan,” and we get the pun, ha, yes, puns are clever, but still: Bill Kristol. PostPartisan. Weird ass blog.
Speak for America, President Obama [Washington Post]
We should openly back the Iranian people, so that when the collapse that results from that happens, we can say say that we did something.
DIAF Bill.
Kristol is right, what is more American than imposing a government on a sovereign nation. Bomb, bomb, bomb, etc.
“Modicum of U.S. support”? That went great in Iraq. Go fuck yourself, Kristol.
Kristol needs to put his money where his mouth is and declare war with Iran. We can suit him up and drop him within hours.
You are a hero to all of us, Bill
As the chickenhawks said during the run-up to the Iraq adventure: “REAL men go to Tehran.”
His statement wouldn’t be crafted by those dreaded neocons who vulgarly thought all people would like a chance to govern themselves and deserved some modicum of U.S. support in that endeavor.
And if they don’t hop to it, we’ll happily force it down their lazy-ass throats. Ye gods, I loathe this man.
Here are a few brave Iranian freedom fighters I would like to stand with. Or lie with. Or just grab a coffee, whatevs, maybe something casual:
http://www.radosh.net/archive/002688.html
Ok, fine. I’m gonna crib P.J. “Fucking” O’Rourke, but what the fuck? What the fucking fuck? A fraudulent election is the equivalent of one country invading its neighbor? These guys just gave up, didn’t they? Every conceivable foreign policy issue for this administration must, apparently by neocon fatwa, be shoe-horned into some WWII History Channel porn analogy. Honestly, they just don’t care anymore. “Obama’s health care plan brings to mind the Anschluss in Austria”, “When Mussolini invaded Abyssinia, his primary justification was, in an eerie echo of this Administration, that Italy needed more fuel-efficient tanks.”
I must object to the characterization of Kristol as a human dildo. That implies I would want him anywhere near my vagina, which is such a horrendous thought I practically need to go douche with lye to feel clean again.
If the estimable Mr. Kristol was to eat shit and die I think I could learn to be ok with that outcome.
Put yer twitter where your mouth is.
What Obama should say is: “Ahmedinijad is HITLER! I mean, really he’s just like HITLER!! HITLER HITLER HITLER HITLER!!!!!”
Then everyone in the region would be all “Wow, man, you’re right. You just BLEW MY MIND.” And democracy would spread across the entire middle east like rainbow-flavored herpes. And we would all get puppies. The end.
Indeed. Toppling Iran’s government hinges entirely on a TV speech by Barack Obama.
shortsshortsshorts: Yeah, & let him take Dick, Wolfowitz, Feith, Rummy, Scooter & all those other chicken [shit] hawks with him.
Cicada: Hypo-allergenic puppies.
“We’re from America, and we’re here to help you win freedom.”
Slam
I’ve been trying to intellectually weigh the “‘I’m a Dinner Jacket’ stole the election, we must begin bombing immediately” with the “Wait a second, let’s not get hasty” arguments. Since anything Bill Kristol says is categorically wrong, thanks, Bill, for finally tipping the scales for me.
Some folks inherit chickenhawk eyes,
Ooh, they send you down to war, lord,
And when you ask them, how many should we nuke?
Ooh, they only answer more! more! more! yoh,
It aint me, it aint me, I aint no neocon scum, son.
It aint me, it aint me; I aint no neocon scum, one.
Bill Kristol simply does not care for the US President taking the time to assess bloody Iranian riots.
A lot more silence from Bill Kristol would make all my days more happy.
Kristol has “PostPartisan” and Peretz has “The Spine”. Is this some kind of NeoCon code-speak?
So, as I understand it, Bill Kristol thinks Iran should be bombed because its president says hurtful lies about Zionist aggression.
So, Barry just went on TeeVee gave a shoutout to his Iranian homies for being awesome. “Fight for your right to party! I mean, to be heard and determine your own fate. Yeah.”
Does this mean we can kill and roast Bill Kristol now? Plz say yes.
William Kristol’s foreign policy columns read like Mad Libs filled out by an 80-year-old VFW member in between toothless mouthfuls of Moon Over My Hammy® and nitroglycerin.
This living fart sure has been busy on his typing machine.
He pulled the Reverse Godwin not just in the first paragraph, but in the first fucking sentence. Shameless.
And Cicada, the phrase “rainbow-flavored herpes” will now be used by me, repeatedly, until I cease to think it is funny, sometime around 2022, I expect.
Steel cage match with Mr. Kristol and “Ahmaworkinontherailroad” to be broadcast on pay-per-view to help pay down the deficit Y/N?
Dear Billy Kristol:
As an avid student of history, President Obama is simply waiting to make his proclamation against dirty Iran on June 28 to coincide with the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. There. Better now?
Please host the Academy Awards presentation again soon also.
But why has no one asked Governor Palin about her position on all of this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-zoPgv_nYg
“On September 2, 1939, in the wake of Hitler’s invasion of Poland…”
“This isn’t September 1939.”
But as a Jewish warmonger he, and only people like him, can invoke the fear of the HOLOCAUST as proof that only by starting a war with Iran can Israel be safe. And anyone who disagrees is antiSemitic, cowardly, or in league with al Qaeda. Tomorrow Charles Krauthammer will beat the drum.
Tommmcatt: This is a very, very true thing. “Rainbow-Flavored Herpes” is just about the greatest thing ever.
Fellow Party Members! The time for William Kristolnacht fast approaches!
I’m beginning to think Bill and the rest have stopped trying. Instead of coming up with rational, borderline sane commentary, they phone in the usual claptrap like they’re anchors at Fox.
Scandalabra: cuz she can’t see iran from her house …
Clearly we have Chamberlain and this is Munich and Hitler is … well, geeze, since the events of 1938-39 are endlessly repeated, day after day, month after month, year after year, decade after decade … maybe we need to fill in the other parts … who is Édouard Daladier, Benito Mussolini, Joseph Stalin, Edvard Beneš … so many to account for. Oh, this Poland? Then who is and what is the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact?(in fact, who do we identify as Molotov or Ribbentrop?) And getting rid of Czechoslovakia gets rid of Beneš, but now there is the Polish foreign minister Beck and … and do we consider the Baltic States? But, clearly, no matter who is what, the answer is to start a war - then everything will be great.
Where’s Mosaddeq when you need him. Speaking of which, what are Teddy Roosevelt’s descendants doing these days.
Scandalabra: Her position? Missionary.
It must be horrible to be aflicted from whatever psychological disorder, brain disease or total collapse of cognition that forces the sufferer to live the same events which happened decades ago over and over and over and over…
Scandalabra: In what regards?
Can you imagine if this had happened 12 months ago? Iran would be a sea of glass, with the excuse that the anti-Ahmadinejad faction “just would have made foreign policy harder” [to bomb them]. Sure they seem to want reform, but that’s just what they want you to think! Right noted idiot Frank Gaffney?
The Station Manager: sure beats the hell out of herpes-flavored herpes
Using his logic, some other country (Great Britain perhaps? France?) should have invaded us after the stealing of the 2000 election. BTW, he is clearly mentally unbalanced.
I think that should read “PusPartisan”
qwerty42: I want to be William Shirer! Or Benny Goodman; I can’t decide.
qwerty42: Well, hey. I kinda thought I brought the “inane in the membrane” historical analogy thing to bear, but ok. I’ll just pout in my corner. user-of-owls:
I wonder if Bill and the other neo-cons have a Macro set up on their versions of Microsoft Word so that whenever it comes to write a column, they just press a button and “On September 2, 1939, in the wake of Hitler’s invasion of Poland…” appears on their document
user-of-owls: Hooray For Anything: *sigh*
So Kristol will be cool when Ahmadinejhad compares the Senatorial election in Minnesota to the invasion of Poland.
Kristol’s right. President Obama needs to look for an opening to say, “Bring it on”, whenever he can. We need more macho posturing!
Ahmedinijad’s brother and provincial Govenor, Jeb Muhammad and director of eletions in Tehran, and Ahmedinijad’s campaign co-chair Maqmoud-Katherine-Harris have assured the Iranian people and the world that vote count was legitimate. Mousavi=sore loserman. Bill are you for, or against, rigging elections?
You seem to be missing Bill’s point: The Nazi invasion of Poland and the Iranian election, all the fault of Democratic Presidents.
Grinning douche bag Bill Kristol has the distinction of being wrong on more subjects, more often than anyone in history. He makes Don Rumsfeldt look like Nostradamus.
Why not do another 1953? It worked for 26 years. Thats longer than most of these fat old white neocons are going to live anyways. And I nominate Newt for Shah.
One: CIA.
Two: Invade.
Three: Profit.
“But the developments in Tehran are a potentially big moment, signaling the possible transformation or at least reformation of the Iranian regime.”
Similar to the Sandinista socialist-youth revolt against the political oligarchy in Nicaragua. Beware of what you wish for, dickhead.
And if comes about, no whining.
When did the word modicum get the new definition of ‘endless clusterfuck of death and destruction thanks to the unwelcome, unwarranted right-wing bullshit interference’ as in
“His statement wouldn’t be crafted by those dreaded neocons who vulgarly thought all people would like a chance to govern themselves and deserved some endless clusterfuck of death and destruction thanks to the unwelcome, unwarranted right-wing bullshit interference of U.S. support in that endeavor.”
Gets me mah smellin salts fo’ I think I shall faint or suffah a stroke from the gawddamn gall.
Kristol finally got his “marching orders” from AIPAC.
Smile Kristol Smile…
This is not America
Sha la la la la
A little piece of you
The little peace in me
Will die
For this is not America
Sha la la la la
Federal Reserve & 911, Liars or Truthers.
Why does anyone talk about Bill Kristol ever? Who cares?
Cause there is nothing Iranian dissidents need more than Bill Kristol’s public support. I think an Israeli commando raid into Tehran would also help build mass support for the Iranian democracy movement.
It’s true that in the evolution from ape to human, some people got a little lost and wandered into the ‘brainless hominid’ sub-species.
Is it really surprising that Kristol has gotten even dumber since he moved from the Times to WaPo?
So when is Kristol enlisting in the commando strike force???