John McCain Suggests Condemning & Embargoing Iran Immediately And Forever

  hehngnn?

No one ever said having a pragmatic foreign policy was easy, but it’s what Barack Obama wants, and sometimes you just have to let terrible states work out their internal political problems on their own (at least for a few days or weeks or whatever). The other option is to have John McCain as President of the United States, a situation where skepticism over the legitimacy of foreign election results would immediately lead to all sorts of belligerent condemnations and freaking *oil embargoes* and eventually nine or so wars, on the same country, before the dust settles. [Think Progress]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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46 comments

  1. paintitblack

    Walnuts! all I can say is that between this & Bible Spice getting cranky-ass on Dave Letterman is: boy-oh-boy, did we evah dodge us some bullets! sheeee-it.

  2. GDuvall

    Man, nothing restores the fading memories of Hopenchange faster than hearing from Johnny Mac? Act HOW, senator?

  3. SayItWithWookies

    The McCain plan: Bringing democracy to the Middle East, one destroyed-in-order-to-save-it country at a time.

  4. Jukesgrrl

    If he were president, he’s use those special bombs that only hurt bad people and leave the good people alone, don’tcha know.

  5. freakishlystrong

    “I think they should be condemned, and it’s obvious that this was a rigged election and depriving the people of their democratic rights. We are for human rights all over the world.”

    We will bomb, bomb, bomb the fuckin’ human rights into them!

  6. BillyClubb

    If John McCain was President of the United States we’d be trading nuclear warheads with the North Koreans. Why does Barack Obama want to disgrace the United States by being “even tempered”?

  7. Texan Bulldoggette

    Why doesn’t Cindy buy McWalnuts his own island where he can feel free to bomb the likes out of Nigeria & Luxembourg & he can leave the business of um…rational government to the grown ups?

  8. Morbo the Annihilator

    In our 2000 election, McCain wanted to embargo then nuke Florida. True fact.

    Because obviously the situations are comparable.

  9. glamourdammerung

    I do not seem to recall McCain having such concerns back in 2004 and 2000 when another country had “election irregularities”.

  10. Speed Ball

    The polls were rigged and the reformers were duped; WE’VE GOT ‘EM RIGHT WHERE WE WANT ‘EM!

  11. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    If you can’t solve the world’s problems with bombing, I don’t want to be Republican.

  12. shortsshortsshorts

    Walnuts doesn’t react well to any slogan containing “Change” ever since last year’s election.

  13. WadISay

    Thank God that, if McCain had been elected president, he would at least have had Sarah Palin to talk a little sense into him after dumbass stuff like this.

  14. TGY

    [re=338921]Morbo the Annihilator[/re]: Well, *that* wouldn’t have been so bad. BOMBS BEFORE BUTTERFLY BALLOTS.

    Possibly, Johnny S, father of the lovely Megan, just wants to kill them with cigarettes until they have fair elections.

  15. Extemporanus

    Like most other mansion dwelling blue bloods, he’s quite comfortable walking all over Persians.

  16. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    Wait a minute, isn’t he supposed to be dead by now? Matt Damon needs to re-check his actuarial tables.

  17. Fox n Fiends

    “We are for human rights, all over the world, except them queers and mexicans in Arizona.”

  18. ManchuCandidate

    Yes John, cause foreign intervention into a nation’s internal problems always worked out and not unified them against a common enemy. See French Revolution or Iran/Iraq War.

  19. Servo

    Jawa McCain probably remembers when the Iranians were called Persians. Holy War! Holy War!
    Oh, hell. Send Sarah Palin to giggle them into submission.

  20. InsidiousTuna

    [re=338918]norbizness[/re]: People from surrounding cubicles are throwing shit at me for laughing loudly. Thanks.

  21. Come here a minute

    McCain is just pissed the 2008 election did not get the Interior Ministry treatment.

  22. Advocatus_Diaboli

    All that was missing from WALNUTS!’s was a shout-out to his girlfriend Lindsey.

    Lieberman , WALNUTS! & Graham: The trifecta of senate crazies.

  23. BlueStateLibtard

    Any minute he’ll be singing his favorite tune again, “Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran.” If he was president, he would have been launching nukes at them Sunday morning, and the CNN twitterheads wouldn’t have even covered it, because they would have been surfing or sailing off the coast of Maryland.

  24. AnnieGetYourFun

    Weird, because I think that the people who lost the Iranian elections were sort of the Iranian equivalent of Obamatards, no?

  25. imissopus

    Let’s take up a collection to send Walnuts! a copy of Risk. He can make bombing noises every time he rolls the dice.

  26. sati demise

    [re=338979]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: McCain suspends his congressional seat to embargo Iran.

  27. Internally valid

    [re=338980]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: Personally, I’d be OK with Michelle screwing Cindy, but maybe we just have different values/fetishes

  28. nader paul kucinich gravel

    We see McCain has received his AIPAC call from Lieberman giving him his marching orders.

  29. totoro

    Conservatives are freaked out that Americans will think Iranians are not another pack of dark-skinned religious nutjobs we can bomb at will. They are even talking up bogus “polls” showing that Dinner Jacket really won—because that is so helpful right now. Deep down John McCain knows that his failure to get elected, resutling in a normal, possibly open-minded regime here gave ordinary Iranians the guts to the think that they too could rejoin the world or sane, respected nations if they elected a reform government.

  30. June Cleaver 2.0

    [re=338996]Internally valid[/re]: Ha ha! I caught it too late! I meant to say Thank god Michelle, and NOT Cindy McCain… you know… is doing the do with prez.

  31. Internally valid

    Oh, on the serious, aren’t gas prices too low in Iran as it is and the Government has been trying to push them up to reduce consumption? Wouldn’t a gasoline embargo just help them out? Plus, the higher costs would be the Americans’ fault, not Ahmehousiwhatsit’s, so he would get more support behind his anti-american belligerence. Does that even make sense, or am I a dumb?

  32. ticklemejethro

    Ok, call me crazy or misundereducated or something, but aren’t we already embargoing the fuck out of them?

  33. McDuff

    “… and it’s obvious that this was a rigged election and depriving the people of their democratic rights.”

    Sorry, Johnny, but how many U.S. American college kids said the same thing in 1968, 1972, 2000, and 2004? Maybe, like U.S. American elections, nothing is “obvious” unless Nate Silver says it is.

  34. McDuff

    Any another thing — why do we always have “to act?” Haven’t the “good” Iranians made it pretty clear that us sticking our noses in this will only “prove” that Mousavi was our candidate and thereby ruin any change he has of actually winning this thing?

  35. Come here a minute

    [re=339077]McDuff[/re]: What do you have against peace and freedom spreading like a flower in the Middle East, like Iraq?

  36. GDuvall

    [re=339038]ticklemejethro[/re]: Yes, but now McCain and Lieberman want the U.S. to also embargo any other country that sells gasoline to Iran, which should do wonders for the global financial crisis.

Comments are closed.