Grow Your Own Squash And Peas Or Starve Forever

  • The city of Rio de Janeiro is erecting walls around its numerous slums in order to “protect the forests” on the hillsides; these walls also have the possibly-not-unintended side effect of “confining the poors.” [Wall Street Journal]
  • CIA Director Leon Panetta said he wondered if Dick Cheney wanted America to be attacked by terrorists so that he could say “I told you so,” which — goodness gracious, as Don Rumsfeld used to say. [New Yorker]
  • Most of the international community sort of tiptoed around the question of whether or not Iran’s recent election was legitimate, although the Canadians allowed that they were “deeply concerned” about allegations of vote fraud. [CNN]
  • Seven of nine kidnapped members of a relief group in Yemen were found dead. The two survivors were children. [AFP]
  • “Unpaid time off” often translates to “working for free” in our wonderful new economy, where employers don’t have the money to pay workers and yet there is as much work to do as ever. [New York Times]
  • Yay it’s BOOM TIMES in the world of vegetable-seed sales, now that we’re all growing Victory Gardens. [Washington Post]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith
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38 comments

  1. ProfessorJukes

    Can we wall off Detroit to protect the rest of the country? And maybe Alabama and Texas?

    My garden is off to a slow start, but I’m willing to eat the houseplants if necessary. Also, no sign of The Man getting suspicious about that row of, errm… “heirloom tomato plants”, so that’s good.

  2. Dreckster

    Poor Dick. How he misses his Herr Rumsfeldmarshall. All he’s trying to say, is that … what he knows, we don’t know; but we know that he knows that we don’t know. Because when you know that you don’t know, you know?…ah fuck it. Too.

  3. Mild Midwesterner

    I’m glad to see that Canada is once again paying attention to world events now that the hockey season has ended.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    First, the Brazilians take away the pubes and now they wall in the poor. What will they think of next?

  5. charlesdegoal

    Leon Panetta also thinks that sex with prostitutes is dirty and that “sex” with White House trainees is a bad idea.

  6. WestEdEd

    Hang onto your trucknuts, North Korea is going to nuke us all.

    If you are going to grow a victory garden, you might as well go full out.

    Steal your neighbors leaves and grass clippings for compost, water from rain barrells whenever possible, and can everything you cannot eat.

    I will have a nice, fecund, well fertilized plot when Strom thurman dies and Newt LoafPinch and Rush Limbrat both blow artieries on the same day, and pot is legal like god inteneded.

  7. Bruno

    So it looks like the Germans are encouraging child labor at relief camps? Who the heck brings their kid to a relief camp in Yemen?

  8. Bruno

    What about grow-your-own pot? Has that increased too – you have to stay away from the Mexican imports due to the PIG AIDZ.

  9. arclight

    I wanted to start a Victory Garden, but my neighbor ruins everything in our shared yard.

  10. WadISay

    My Canadian-English dictionary translates “deeply concerned” as ZOMG SKY IZ FALLING.

  11. Jsab

    [re=338579]MathewBrooks[/re]: Back in 2002, the Islamic militants apparently killed 3 doctors from the same Baptist group the relief workers were from. They were working on a hospital in Saada I believe. Here’s more

  12. Come here a minute

    Dad loves the outdoors. He often took me gardening when I was a kid. We’d go planting squash in our compound on the coast of Maine. I learned the skills of pruning from listening to him, and the joy of harvesting from watching him. Dad’s a good pea picker, too, and one Christmas he gave me a burlap sack, a 5-gallon. I would go with him to Louisiana to pick peas. Those are fond memories.

  13. Servo

    I’m working on organic ‘shrooms for local restaurants. People won’t give a shit about the economy when they’re running in terror from giant electric-blue dragonflies.

  14. Mr Blifil

    To make extra money, Ms. Roberson teaches belly-dancing at girls’ birthday parties on weekends, something she has been doing more of lately.

    Is it wrong of my to want to spend my furlough days attending girl’s birthday parties?

  15. Dog Trombone

    SKS is at least part Okie? Here in America’s Heartland, we say, “allowed as how….” Sara says: “although the Canadians allowed that they were “deeply concerned””

    If she next writes that she “reckons it’s fixin’ to rain,” I’ll know for sure.

  16. Mr Blifil

    [re=338585]Jsab[/re]: Dear Baptist missionaries: Radical Shiite sects who want to saw your heads off with steak knives are just not that into you.

  17. El Pinche

    Yeah, the furlough program where i work is a joke, too.

    BTW, South Carolina GOoPer Rusty DePass called my Michelle O a gorilla. (yawn)…yeah, what’s new?

  18. rereridiculous

    Being so full of shit, Cheney would have been very successful with a victory garden.

  19. Servo

    [re=338595]rereridiculous[/re]:
    Actually, Cheney would make a perfect scarecro…er, scare-everything.

  20. ella

    Even the queen of England is copying her new bff Michelle and planting a garden at Buckingham Palace, but she’s such a tightwad she’ll probably sell her produce.

  21. SayItWithWookies

    [re=338593]Cape Clod[/re]: That just means it was a Pyrrhic victory garden.

    As far as Iran goes, it’s nice that we’re continuing our tradition of tepid-to-nonexistent support for people who are actually insisting on democracy. Hmmph.

  22. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=338586]Come here a minute[/re]: Good news, you’ve been offered a gig ghost writing for an ex president at the Daily Beast!!!

  23. WideStance

    But why would Dick Cheney be trying to drum up support for more defense spending? I mean other than his Halliburton stock (433,333 shares while he was VP) and whatever other defense contractor deals he’s lined up since leaving office.

  24. hobospacejunkie

    The Germans were the first Europeans to question the Iran vote results and called in their ambassador for dressing down this morning. I’ve always wondered what that would entail.

  25. SuperStarr

    [re=338570]ProfessorJukes[/re]: Puh-lease, no Detroit jokes today after they lost the Stanley Cup, thus cheating themselves of the “lift” that would come from such a victory (see NYT predictable blah blah blah story last Friday, “Red Wings Carry Burden of Lifting Up Beaten-Down City”). God damn the Red Wings, that’s all it took and they blew it to hell.

  26. octupletsmom

    And there damn better not be any PotatoAIDS, or there will be millions of starving Americans, pencil-thin limbs, eyes hollow in their sockets, dropping dead in their homes and on the roads. And don’t expect any help from our Chinese overlords, either.

Comments are closed.