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MEDIA HIRES

George W. Bush Also Writes For The Daily Beast

Uhh: “Dad loves the outdoors. He often took me fishing when I was a kid. We’d go fishing for bluefish off the coast of Maine. I learned the skills of fishing from listening to him, and the joy of fishing from watching him. Dad’s a good hunter, too, and one Christmas he gave me a shotgun, a .410. I would go with him to Louisiana to shoot ducks. Those are fond memories.” [Daily Beast]


6:03 PM on Fri June 12 2009
By Jim Newell
4723 Views

  1. orange says at 6:08 pm, June 12th, 2009

    thanks for your 2 cents, fuck-o.

    go back into hiding.

  2. Cathangover says at 6:08 pm, June 12th, 2009

    George W. Bush is not a great writer.

  3. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:08 pm, June 12th, 2009

    “We’d go over to grandpa’s house, but I was never allowed in the basement. He also had these crossed-zigzags everywhere. Loved the fishin’ though.”

  4. Jobbotch says at 6:10 pm, June 12th, 2009

    I knew the man wasn’t much of a stylist, but this is full-on Flowers for Algernon.

  5. Yawn. Where’s Dame Nooningtonshire?

  6. Mr Blifil says at 6:12 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Death! DEATH 2 DUCKS!!!!!

  7. ordinaryperson says at 6:14 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Jim Newell and George W. Bush are colleagues. Heh.

  8. Bearbloke says at 6:14 pm, June 12th, 2009

    “Mom and Dad both drink a lot when they are embarrassed. Mom and Dad both drink a lot when I am around.”

  9. arwing says at 6:14 pm, June 12th, 2009

    This is like the kind of thing I would write in 5th grade when presented with “why I love my parents” prompt. Is was anyone really surprised that he fucked the country beyond all belief?

  10. slappypaddy says at 6:14 pm, June 12th, 2009

    that’s so heartwarming, georgie-boy. catch any big ones? throw any back? shoot any lawyers?

  11. chascates says at 6:15 pm, June 12th, 2009

    “Today it’s ironic that much of my career parallels his. He went to Yale. I went to Yale. He was a Navy pilot. I flew F-102s in the Texas Air National Guard.”

    At least your Dad FINISHED his service and didn’t just wander off in 1944.

  12. gidgetbananas says at 6:15 pm, June 12th, 2009

    See Daddy. See Daddy fish. Fish, Daddy, fish! . . .

  13. Accordion-o-rama says at 6:15 pm, June 12th, 2009

    W senses an opportunity for public rehabilitation based on sympathy for him as the loyal, loving son once dad kicks off (clearly fairly soon, given his age), thus the column.

  14. Simon and Schuster called. They want the advance check back.

  15. Shooting Ducks to save them from getting the buttsecks from the married gays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXPcBI4CJc8

    Man, those Bush’s were so ahead of their time!

  16. Come here a minute says at 6:19 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Very evocative of Forrest Gump — and that’s all I have to say about that.

  17. user-of-owls says at 6:20 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Heard anything else lately about someone who had a thing about both killing and ducks?

  18. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 6:21 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Our trips to Louisiana were always fun. Dad would get really drunk, and start saying how his family was curse and always had one son that was a ‘tard for every good one. He would then pass out, and I would go into town and score some blow and hookers before coming back to carry pappy back to the truck, where he would vomit all over the floor boards. Later, Dick Cheney and I would do the same thing while planning the Iraq war.

  19. user-of-owls says at 6:21 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Come here a minute: Genocidal is as genocidal does.

  20. Extemporanus says at 6:24 pm, June 12th, 2009

    His “Happy Birthday, Babs” piece in the The Daily Breast is even more inane.

  21. edgydrifter says at 6:25 pm, June 12th, 2009

    A .410? Puuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssy! The old man gave him a gun that kicks less than a weak fart. Even then Poppy must have seen the FAIL in junior’s beady eyes.

  22. iwillsavethispatient says at 6:27 pm, June 12th, 2009

    When will the Daily Beast stop spending it’s money to pay for the children of famous politicians to write vacuous articles?

  23. Johnny Zhivago says at 6:27 pm, June 12th, 2009

    “Dad gave me a shotgun. We used to go to Louisiana during huricanes and shoot blacks.”

  24. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:29 pm, June 12th, 2009

    This is an actual line from it:
    “both a Camp David and at our house in Kennebunkport. Jim Nantz, Fred Couples, and Dad and I had a wonderful match one time.”

    both A? BOTH A? YOU WENT TO YALE?

  25. Gopherit says at 6:30 pm, June 12th, 2009

    so when he left office he went back to fifth grade to finish his “Why I like my dad” paper?

  26. RoscoePColtraine says at 6:31 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Who the fuck cares about you or your poppy.

  27. Gopherit says at 6:31 pm, June 12th, 2009

    iwillsavethispatient: You are being way too kind.

  28. Mull_Man says at 6:33 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Can’t wait for Cheney’s version
    ” … and it was my father that first showed me the joy of mixing beer and heart medication before squaring off on some attorney …”

  29. Pat Pending says at 6:36 pm, June 12th, 2009

    I’m sure Laura proofread before he turned in his paper.

  30. american mutt says at 6:38 pm, June 12th, 2009

    When I grow up I want to do something horrible to the nation, go into hiding, and then come back and write an article on how I like to go fishing my daddy. Just to make the best shit-pie possible for America.

  31. populucious says at 6:39 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Along with the fishing and the hunting, Dad loved being a cog for the militurry industul complex. I thought hey, that looks like a cool gig I bet I could do too. A course, I didn’t actually have what it took to be in charge of the CIA, so I had to scale back my ambitions and become Preznit instead. Thanks Dad!

  32. Scandalabra says at 6:40 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Attn: Tina Brown. Hopey’s version of this drivel is called “Dreams from My Father”.

  33. He writes like fucking Shakespeare. Can’t wait for the full Autobiography.

  34. user-of-owls says at 6:42 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Gopherit: No, he just went back to finish “My Pet Goat.” He bought the paper off the internet.

  35. sati demise says at 6:42 pm, June 12th, 2009

    slappypaddy: yea, he threw them back after stuffing them with firecrackers and lighting the fuse.

  36. sati demise says at 6:45 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: ohh, I do like your expanded version of his story.
    The Cliff notes Jim posted do not give the whole sense of this fascinating family biography.

  37. Jukesgrrl says at 6:47 pm, June 12th, 2009

    What is it about “go home and shut up” doesn’t he understand?

  38. sati demise says at 6:48 pm, June 12th, 2009

    GW did say his best time as president was catchin’ that big ol’ Bass in his lake in Crawford.
    Best .Time. jeez what a dickwad.

  39. NebraskashireGentry says at 6:49 pm, June 12th, 2009

    this. man. was. our. President.

    (not only could he not write that himself, he could not find a decent writer to do it for him).

  40. StrangelyBrown says at 6:57 pm, June 12th, 2009

    George really should have been named Lennie.

  41. Lazy Media says at 6:58 pm, June 12th, 2009

    He did a shoutout to the troops on Colbert’s Baghdad trip. It seems sort of shocking to see him go out in public.

  42. springfield_meltdown says at 7:00 pm, June 12th, 2009

    This is why I don’t sign autobiographical essays to freshman comp students. They have about as much insight about their lives as W does. Actually, I should probably file this away as a lesson plan.

  43. Gopherit says at 7:10 pm, June 12th, 2009

    sezme: Bah, his autobiography will be about all the cars he’s ever owned.

  44. Gopherit says at 7:11 pm, June 12th, 2009

    arwing: drat! You beat me to it…..but it really does sound 5th grade-ish, doesn’t it?

  45. S.Luggo says at 7:13 pm, June 12th, 2009

    “Fishing” is code for inhaling Peruvian Baking Powder.

  46. S.Luggo says at 7:26 pm, June 12th, 2009

    StrangelyBrown: “Tell me about the rabbits again, George H.W.B.”?

  47. What a goddamn imbecile.

  48. frailamerica says at 7:51 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Yeah! Meghan McCain is no longer the biggest idiot at The Daily Beast!

  49. Youstonedorjuststupid? says at 7:57 pm, June 12th, 2009

    I guess he’s just the Yin to Bible Spice’s Yang on the idiocy to word scale. She likes to elaborate a bit while he just wants to get the point across quickly.

  50. Cookie Guggelman says at 8:07 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Fuck him.

  51. Hooray For Anything says at 8:10 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Lazy Media: I saw that and I jumped out of my chair in horror. His appearance was like the end of Poltergeist when everybody thinks the house has been cleansed and just as everybody starts relaxing, the shit starts up again. Picture W as the clown and Cheney that huge vortex in the closet that sucks everything into it.

  52. Dean Booth says at 8:15 pm, June 12th, 2009

    I think Bush wrote Bobby Jindal’s rebuttal speech.

  53. S.Luggo says at 8:27 pm, June 12th, 2009

    One solid heave over the shoulder, George Herbert Walker, and we might been spared 8 yeras of painful malapropisms (and one war of choice). What stopped you, wimp? http://www.tdbimg.com/files/2009/06/11/img-article-page—bush-bush-1_095824609704.jpg

    Cookie Guggelman: Missed your trenchant, yet insightful, posts.

  54. hobospacejunkie says at 8:32 pm, June 12th, 2009

    I would go with him to Louisiana to shoot ducks. Those are fond memories.

    Oh jeezus, don’t anybody tell snideinplainsight about this or we’re all gonna pay.

  55. S.Luggo says at 8:32 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Cookie Guggelman: I should have added, “Truth”.

  56. sati demise says at 8:35 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Hooray For Anything: and they are going to leave this ghost up to make people jump/cringe for days. the overlords are cruel, too cruel.

  57. hobospacejunkie says at 8:43 pm, June 12th, 2009

    user-of-owls: For the last goddamn time the book is called The Pet Goat!!

    /faux outrage

    shortsshortsshorts: Nice subtle ref to grandpa’s Nazi-dealin’ past. Maybe GWB and JFK have more in common than anyone thought.

  58. Joshua Norton says at 8:58 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Hey W! How can we miss you if you won’t go away?

  59. Joshua Norton says at 9:03 pm, June 12th, 2009

    I would go with him to Louisiana to shoot ducks.

    Thhhhhhuferrin’ Thhhhhhhhhuccotash!

  60. Extemporanus says at 9:04 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Why does it say “I, ASS” under his name? Is that the title of his upcoming autobiography, or just a photo caption?

  61. Cookie Guggelman says at 9:07 pm, June 12th, 2009

    S.Luggo: I’m putting “trenchant, yet insightful” on my resume. heh.

  62. Hooray For Anything says at 9:18 pm, June 12th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: That bit reminds me of this old Saturday Night Live skit of Bush Sr and Bush Jr hunting before the 2000 election:

    http://video.aol.com/video-detail/snl-bush-hunting/3257259975

  63. S.Luggo says at 9:43 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Joshua Norton:
    Libbo:
    Those are but the sounds that injured Cajuns make.
    Bon Ton Roulé.
    Page-Bobby in 2024.

  64. Neilist says at 9:48 pm, June 12th, 2009

    A .410?

    Gesh.

    That’s a fag shotgun.

    Even a girl will use a 20 gauge.

    Hell, even Cheney uses a 26 gauge when he goes Lawyer Hunting . . . .

  65. Can we compare this with Obama’s kindergarten essay that Hillz dug up? Please?

  66. This is off topic but I just saw that Glenn “Fuckwad” Beck is doing a Q&A online at WaPo Monday. I think the Wonkette “community” needs to seize control of the questions!

  67. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:03 pm, June 12th, 2009

    …the fact the “W” can write in anything other than his own feces and not resembling an ancient aboriginal cave painting utterly amazes me!

  68. Duvall says at 10:22 pm, June 12th, 2009

    I fought an uphill battle, but I had such a sense of security due to love that I was willing to take the risk. Because I feared neither failure nor success.

    MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE FEARED FAILURE A LITTLE MORE, ASSHOLE.

  69. jagorev says at 10:41 pm, June 12th, 2009

    So this makes Newell and W into… colleagues?

  70. Authentic Frontier Gibberish.
    AngryBlakGuy:
    That would require artistic skills. Wingnuts don’t believe in art.

  71. Joshua Norton says at 11:05 pm, June 12th, 2009

    one Christmas he gave me a shotgun

    And there was a lamp shaped like a woman’s leg in our front window. And on Christmas morning all the neighbors dogs ran into our kitchen and ate our turkey so we ended up going out for Chinese food…….

    Oh…wait…..

  72. please delete says at 11:07 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Sort of off-topic here, but still about families. I’ve been searching for an hour trying to find a picture that was on Wonkette maybe two months ago - in April perhaps. Barry was reading ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ to some kids. Michelle, her mother, Sasha and Malea were with him. For color, composition, and subject it was one of the best pictures I’ve ever seen and now I can’t find it DAMMIT and I can’t stand not to know exactly where something is on the interwebs.

    Anybody know the picture I’m talking about and where it can be found? It wasn’t on the official Flickr page.

  73. jetjaguar says at 11:07 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Why would he fear success? Fucking idiot, at least we know he wrote this himself (though I’m suspicious of his use of parenthesis).

  74. jetjaguar says at 11:10 pm, June 12th, 2009

    please delete: Google image search my friend, it will change your life.

  75. iwillsavethispatient says at 11:12 pm, June 12th, 2009

    jagorev: Oh yeah, I forgot about Newell… Who’s his Dad?

    Also, has he and W both run up large Amex bills for their respective fathers? I assume this a precondition for blogging at the Beast, yes?

  76. please delete says at 11:20 pm, June 12th, 2009

    It was the first thing I did. Found lots of pictures taken that day, but not THE one.

  77. user-of-owls says at 11:26 pm, June 12th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: “But the goat came back, the very next day. Yes the goat came back, he just wouldn’t stay away.”

  78. jetjaguar says at 11:32 pm, June 12th, 2009

    OK, FINE here: http://wonkette.com/407941/richard-wolffe-has-inside-scoop-on-obama-image-machine but I still say searching for boobies on Google Image search is really what you should be doing instead.

  79. please delete says at 11:43 pm, June 12th, 2009

    That’s the one! Thanks, I mean that. Why would I look for breasts on Google when all I have to do is pull down my shirt? Strange. Anyway, have a good weekend.

  80. biznesskommunity says at 11:51 pm, June 12th, 2009

    Uhh: Git ‘em Jim!

  81. biznesskommunity says at 12:10 am, June 13th, 2009
  82. S.Luggo says at 12:14 am, June 13th, 2009

    jagorev: “Very close friends.” They share the same straw in a Piña Colada.

  83. Mr Blifil says at 12:59 am, June 13th, 2009

    Okay, you’ve covered your ass now.

  84. lizard scum says at 1:12 am, June 13th, 2009

    Duvall: Maybe he should have feared success a bit more, too. Someone who lacks the confidence, like G.W., to think for himself and make moral decisions should be afraid of success. We can be glad for the failure of his attempt at killing social security, for example.

    Anyway, three cheers for the West’s first philosopher-king since Marcus Aurelius.

  85. mollymcguire says at 1:22 am, June 13th, 2009

    S.Luggo: literary win.

  86. S.Luggo says at 1:23 am, June 13th, 2009

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124475205079307455.html
    Noonington: We are all terror monkeys.
    If all are to blame …

  87. gurukalehuru says at 1:23 am, June 13th, 2009

    I don’t want George Bush to say another fucking word unless it’s under oath in front of an investigative body. Either of them.

    Ha, Ha! Cindy Sheehan in front of your house, you fucktard worthless sack of shit.

  88. Kenneth the NBC Governor says at 1:42 am, June 13th, 2009

    Min: Simon and Schuster called. They want to make sure they have final say over whoever is ghostwriting this shit.

    Fixed it.

  89. CaiteeCruelle says at 1:42 am, June 13th, 2009

    Pa cooks. Pa cleans. Pa works hard.

  90. Darehead says at 2:04 am, June 13th, 2009

    Kenneth the NBC Governor: Aaaww, I think he wrote it himself. Whaddya think he’s been up to these last 6 months? He had to work hard to get the 396,545th draft in by the deadline.

    Is this thread about fathers and sons? If so, the letter from the von Brunn son all over the tubes is more interesting.

    And ducks have had more than their 15 minutes of fame this week.

  91. Pilate says at 2:10 am, June 13th, 2009

    Only 95 comments. How the mighty have fallen!

  92. obfuscator says at 2:16 am, June 13th, 2009

    jetjaguar: In Bushspeak, those are “Bendy Lines”, you punctuation elitist.

  93. Malachite Kingfisher says at 2:19 am, June 13th, 2009

    As the Daily Beast’s editorial note makes none too clear, W. wrote this drivel for his father’s birthday 10 years ago. Now, having destroyed his family’s name and political fortunes, along with the United States’ good name and the world economy, W. “wouldn’t change a word.” Translation: “I’m not writing a new one, or doing a single other thing I don’t feel like ever again.”

    And in any event, whatever anyone may remember about the first Bush presidency is blotted out by this: How many times did George H. W. Bush and his friends bail that drunken shit out of one royal fuck-up after another? Bush the elder watched for decades as everything little George touched turned to shit. Yet he let his party nominate the jerk. Way to serve your country, Poppy! No wonder you keep breaking down in tears.

  94. greywindz says at 2:23 am, June 13th, 2009

    Imagine Dubya hunted ducks…and you people got two wars…Sarah Palin used to hunt moose…

  95. You know, I actually think that’s authentic and his ’style’ of writing. Go W! Even Grizzly Mama needs a Ghost Writer. I guess that’s your Yale & Harvard education coming out.

  96. MarSF: “This is off topic but I just saw that Glenn “Fuckwad” Beck is doing a Q&A online at WaPo Monday. I think the Wonkette “community” needs to seize control of the questions!”

    Do you have any other info or link? - its been a while since our last war effort. I’m ready

  97. Mr Blifil says at 3:42 am, June 13th, 2009

    StrangelyBrown: Sorry, Dubya is a Curly type, what with the glove full of vaseline and all.

  98. accbll says at 8:39 am, June 13th, 2009

    frailamerica:

    Bush and Meghan McCain should have a blogoff.

  99. nader paul kucinich gravel says at 9:05 am, June 13th, 2009

    Bulls on Parade
    RATM

  100. So much for the examined life.

  101. Kenneth the NBC Governor says at 9:18 am, June 13th, 2009

    Oh Jesus. Does this mean he’s going to start going on talk shows bragging about being a “pro-sex Republican woman”?

  102. Monsieur Grumpe says at 9:20 am, June 13th, 2009

    We need to get this guy a Twitter account.

  103. BlueStateLibtard says at 9:33 am, June 13th, 2009

    His writing displays such complex sentence structures and thoughts, all of which are laid out in the ultra-easy-to-follow Cliff Notes style.

  104. jetjaguar says at 9:34 am, June 13th, 2009

    I should have typed boobs/dongs

  105. Suds McKenzie says at 10:15 am, June 13th, 2009

    I watched Sr. land on his back yard at Kennerichfuckinbukakeport and it became clear …

    Jr’s “package” is much larger in a flight suit.

  106. Boojum says at 10:42 am, June 13th, 2009

    Jobbotch: Now I see why he was reading “My Pet Goat.”

  107. bumfug says at 11:51 am, June 13th, 2009

    Memo to Jeff Foxworthy: Cancel the invitation to your game show, we already know the answer.

  108. 19kevin8 says at 12:16 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Thank god he shoots ducks instead of having sex with them.

  109. 19kevin8 says at 12:19 pm, June 13th, 2009

    NOFX - Idiot Son Of An Asshole

    “He’s not smart, a C student
    And that’s after buying his way into school
    Beady eyes, and he’s kinda dyslexic
    Can he read? No one’s really quite sure
    He signs stuff and he executes people
    Maybe that’s why, he doesn’t have any friends
    Cocaine and a little drunk driving
    Doesn’t matter, when you’re the Commander in Chief.

    Idiot son of an asshole
    He’s the idiot son of an asshole

    He’s too dumb, to eat pretzels, apparently smart enough to fix an election.
    Moved boldly into the White House,
    but most people voted against him.
    He likes naps, He really likes naptime, A couple of naps and then a nap and then he’s ready for bed,
    He may be from Bush descent, but he’s always gonna be the unpresident.

    Idiot son of an asshole
    He’s the idiot son of an asshole”

  110. WickedWitch says at 12:29 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Please don’t ban me!

    *AHEM*

    Memories… light the corners of W’s mind…

    Powdered colored memories… of the way W ruled…..

    Scattered pictures of the bombs they never found…

    Or the coffins flown to Dover….

    The way W ruled….

    Can it be it was all so simple then?

    Or has time rewritten every line?

    If we had the chance to veto the high court,

    Could we? Would we?

    Memories… may be horrible and yet…

    What’s so painful to remember — Hopey’d rather we forget!

    So here’s to disaster….

    We will remember….

    Whatever we can remember….

    The way W ruled….

    The way W ruled.

    Oo-oo, oo-oo-ooo-oo-oo-oo-oooo….

    Oo-oo-oo-oo-oooooo……..

  111. octupletsmom says at 12:30 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Just kill me before his mom’s birthday. Plz.

  112. Come here a minute says at 12:34 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Bruno: Submit your questions now or live on Monday at 1pm.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/discussion/2009/06/12/DI2009061202319.html

    WIN THE AFTERNOON.

  113. nbawriter says at 1:13 pm, June 13th, 2009

    I pasted this in Google Documents to see what Grade Level the writing qualified as. It just made a “Bennnnnhhhhhh” noise at me and showed a picture of Corky from Life Goes On.

  114. Go Figure says at 2:22 pm, June 13th, 2009

    George W’s “Fond memories” revolve around guns-n-killing.
    George has given us all so many more *fond memories*, on a world wide level.
    He really does deserve a special place in hell.

  115. DoctorCulturae says at 2:31 pm, June 13th, 2009

    WickedWitch: Only if Adam Lambert sings it…

  116. El Pinche says at 3:29 pm, June 13th, 2009

    W, I’ve been checking on weekly basis for you. Your presidential legacy still sucks. As for your one-termer dad, fuck him and his old balls.

  117. Joshua Norton says at 3:35 pm, June 13th, 2009

    “I’m tired of smiling. Just take the picture, Mom.”

  118. BlueStateLibtard says at 4:09 pm, June 13th, 2009

    I still cannot believe this man was actually president.

  119. Larry Fine says at 5:11 pm, June 13th, 2009

    After the hunting expedition, did little Georgie continue his toilet training lessons?

  120. smellyal8r says at 6:34 pm, June 13th, 2009

    BlueStateLibtard: Uh, and re-elected Preznit. Says something about who the D’s were putting up against him. I know we only lost by half a percentage point (and a 5-4 vote in the Supremes) the first time but Kerry was a crappy choice and nearly beat him, but W still won. Obama had such an easy act to follow, no wonder everyone falls all over themselves describing how wonderful he is. Hell, even dear old dad is in favor of Sotomayor. Elections do indeed have consequences.

  121. please delete: Those photos were associated with the White House Easter Egg Roll.

  122. lizard scum says at 6:43 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Scoff if you want, but this seems like a guy I would like to have a beer with. Personally, I held my nose and voted for Kerry, even though the man doesn’t know how to hold a gun. But now that George W. is out of office, all I can say is he had better be having a lot of fucking beers with people who voted for him for this reason.

  123. wonderboom says at 6:51 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Who doesn’t write for the Daily Beast these days?

  124. Kev-O-Tron says at 6:55 pm, June 13th, 2009

    With all his free time I expected him to make a card out of construction paper and glitter. Probably sign it in crayon too.

    Good afternoon Weekend Wonkette! Here’s a topic to steer us off course for a few comments: After leaving work today I walked through Westlake Center in Seattle and the usual religious nutz were their to tell us all to fear God and love Jesus. One group had t-shirts that said HOMO with a big ex through it. I told them if they think there aren’t homos in Seattle they’re going to be very disappointed. Two other groups of people were arguing loudly about Christ’s race (black/white). Everyone had retarded t-shirts.

    The point of this post-work, bong hit of a comment is that I think that’s a fantastic way to spend your Saturday. I mean, it’s sunny and seventies. What better to do than wear funny clothes and shout at people who you have no chance of convincing?

    Hell at least they’re not at the park disturbing us deviants.

  125. BlueStateLibtard says at 6:59 pm, June 13th, 2009

    smellyal8r: In retrospect, I think it was a mother of all storms, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney and 9/11, that got him elected and re-elected–oh, and throw in the U.S. Supreme Court. But I prefer to call them all motherf____rs of all motherf_____rs. Basically, I think history will consider him a total fluke who lucked out in all ways and trashed the country out of ego and incompetence.

  126. BlueStateLibtard says at 7:12 pm, June 13th, 2009

    lizard scum: Everyone kept saying that, but Dubya doesn’t drink and hasn’t for years, so how much fun would he have been? Besides, they would have found out in hurry what he and the Bush clan really think of the little people–not much.

  127. nappyduggs says at 7:57 pm, June 13th, 2009

    A li’l cut here and a li’l paste there and I’m pretty sure this would go top 3 in the Romney essay-off.

  128. I learned the skills of fisting from listening to him, and the joy of fisting from watching him. Fixed.
    Congratulations Penguins!

  129. DustBowlBlues says at 8:07 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Min: “Simon and Schuster called. They want the advance check back.”

    Okay, people, bear with me if my erudite comments are redundant. I can’t expected to read all the comments you losers have already made.

    One of the humorous debates of that moron’s two godawful terms was whether he was really as stupid as he acted. Even his admirers couldn’t do better than, “I think he’s a lot smarter than he appears.” When the Prime Minister of Canada has to hold a press conference to announce he “doesn’t think George Bush is a moron” you know that he’s a moron.

    Since he left office (thank you, god) the wingers don’t bother protecting him anymore and he’s completely free to prove that, yes, he’s a total retard. What’s priceless is that there isn’t a single Republithug who will acknowledge that George Bush was ever president, let alone a Republican.

  130. El Pinche says at 9:24 pm, June 13th, 2009

    At least the moron can add Poppy’s stained boxers from his skydive to his presidential library. That’s something, right?

  131. hobospacejunkie says at 10:00 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Kev-O-Tron: Is there also a place in Seattle where reprobate junkies (not the upstanding ex-junkies like me) gather? Because if you could manage to combine the religious nutlobs w/the junkies you would be doing a great service to Seattle residents looking for entertainment. Especially if each side managed to convert a few to their ’cause.’

  132. hobospacejunkie says at 10:07 pm, June 13th, 2009

    DustBowlBlues: Your salutations are a highlight of my day (”you losers.”)

    Did you catch the ‘joke’ W told after Poppy’s skydive? A reporter asked Poppy what he had for breakfast & W chimed in “it’s somewhere out in the Atlantic,” meaning Poppy blew chunks during his dive. Another classy remark for a cheap laugh on his somewhat respectable father’s big day.

  133. Lazy Media says at 10:09 pm, June 13th, 2009

    Joshua Norton: I can’t snark too much on his reminiscence. One Christmas, when I was 12, I THOUGHT I was getting a BB gun, and it turned out to be a Winchester Model 37a single-shot, 20 gauge shotgun. Helluva a gun, actually; too bad burglars stole it a few years later. It’s quite collectible now.

  134. Kev-O-Tron says at 11:29 pm, June 13th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: By default they are mingling with reprobate junkies.

  135. hobospacejunkie: Skid Row, or somewhere by the Union Gospel Mission?

  136. El Pinche says at 1:58 am, June 14th, 2009

    Let me get this straight. Republicans wanted Ahmadinejad to win?

    http://corner.nationalreview.com/post/?q=NTY2NzFmYzQ0NTM2YWI2ZDNkNWZmOTNiMTI3YWE3N2I=

    Of course they do. If it’s wrong, then the Republicans are in it to win.

  137. gurukalehuru says at 4:14 am, June 14th, 2009

    Is there a civil war in Iran?
    Is this a good thing?

    I’m tired of talking about the retard. Unless a trial is imminent, let him just choke on a pretzel and die.

  138. Don Juanquete says at 7:40 am, June 14th, 2009

    gurukalehuru: I hope he stands trial in the Hague before downing the pretzel of death.

  139. hobospacejunkie says at 8:36 am, June 14th, 2009

    Don Juanquete: I’d like to see him choke on the pretzel mid-trial in the Hague so, like Serbian guy, his supporters will feel doubly aggrieved; that he was even put on trial and that ‘they’ killed him while he was there.

    bago: Sorry, I’m not familiar w/Seattle’s geography. Both sound promising.

    Kev-O-Tron: Excellent news. Now to find a way to monetize it.

  140. x111e7thst says at 8:43 am, June 14th, 2009

    gurukalehuru: Most of the guns in Iran are in the hands of the security services / Revolutionary Guard which are Ahmadinejad supporters. The most likely outcome,if the protests become too large and widespread is Tianamen square type suppression. Sadness.

  141. Custersdeadhorse says at 9:46 am, June 14th, 2009

    See Spot run. Run Spot, run. The end.

  142. windupbird says at 9:55 am, June 14th, 2009

    I’ve probably mentioned this before on this site……….during/right after Hurricane Katrina, my then 8 year old daughter was very upset about what was happening to the people of New Orleans (I tried to shield her from most of it, but she saw snippets on the news and it was also discussed in school). She’s a very sensitive kid. I explained to her that there were a number of things that we could do to help, that it was good that she realized that what was happening was wrong, it was ok that she cried. We found the address of a radio station in central Louisiana that was collecting donations, we sent a couple of boxes of stuff down. We contributed a little money to help the displaced pets in New Orleans. I told her that we should write a letter to the President and Vice President expressing our displeasure at what had transpired. We sent an email to both Bush and Cheney about our concerns. We were very polite but very direct. Not more than 3 weeks later, I received a letter from the IRS stating that I was being audited. I had NEVER been audited before, had never been late in paying taxes. I still haven’t told my daughter about this………I don’t think it was a coincidence. My first husband (her dad) was deployed last year. I think about how much despair and death this moron is responsible for. I felt sick reading about the Uighurs this past week. This war criminal needs to be in prison.

  143. BlueStateLibtard says at 10:19 am, June 14th, 2009

    windupbird: Unless you run your own business, it’s pretty unusual that you were audited. I wouldn’t put it past them.

    BTW, I was harassed by the IRS for years under Bush. It was only for a few thousand dollars because the dingbat who did the books at the company I worked for refused to deduct enough withholding. After paying most of it, they were still sending me threatening letters for a few hundred dollars that I owed. It stopped after January. I think the IRS was under orders to go after the little people as much as possible, because they can’t afford lawyers and because they pretty much hate them. Meanwhile, I saw so many in the plutocrat class getting away with murder with unpaid taxes totaling hundreds of thousands.

  144. smellyal8r says at 10:30 am, June 14th, 2009

    BlueStateLibtard: God, I hope you are right. I think the real W was the one who was Preznit during Katrina. That’s the guy I remember as Guv of TX. A bike-riding, tuff talking, following the (older) leader, incurious goober who got where he was because of his daddy. I personally hope he maintains his “worst president since Hoover” standing for generations to come.

  145. Mr Blifil says at 11:53 am, June 14th, 2009
  146. windupbird says at 12:09 pm, June 14th, 2009

    BlueStateLibtard: I’ve never owned a business. They wanted me to prove that my daughter was really my dependent - for 2003 only. Really dumb - they waited until 2005 to inquire about that, and didn’t need proof of her dependent status for any years prior to 2003. Also I didn’t mean to imply that my ex-husband’s deployment had anything to do with that……….it’s just amazing how this dumbass has had such an impact on our family and millions of others.

  147. sati demise says at 12:29 pm, June 14th, 2009

    windupbird: wow, they sent a message there all right.
    frightening and spiteful, just like W.

    Don Juanquete: what else is there to say about Bush?
    overlords take note, we hope he will just fuck off and die.
    that is all, the end.

  148. SayItWithWookies says at 12:54 pm, June 14th, 2009

    This is actually Dubya’s entry in the Retarded Hemingway Contest, right?

  149. bitchincamaro says at 1:04 pm, June 14th, 2009

    “Being George Bush’s son is a tremendous plus.” Another horribly understated “no shit Sherlock” moment from Chimpy.

    http://adrworks.com/BushVaca.jpg.

  150. Hooray For Anything says at 1:09 pm, June 14th, 2009

    x111e7thst: It’s fucking crazy over there. Just read Sully or HuffPo to get a sense what’s going on, both in terms of the actual coup-like takeover by the Powers that Be and the pushback by both students and reformist members of the government. Sadly, it’ll probably be more like Tianamen than ‘89 but it’s not a sure thing right now. Even crazier, the revolution might not be televised (especially here in America), but apparently it’s being twittered.

  151. 2druk2phluq says at 1:18 pm, June 14th, 2009

    He spelled Dad right!

  152. SayItWithWookies says at 1:49 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Hooray For Anything: Juan Cole’s got an interesting article on the election results — apparently Ahmadinejad got 57% in the capital city of Moussavi’s home province, something entirely unlikely. He lists plenty of other anomalies too.

  153. Neilist says at 2:03 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Lazy Media: Proves my point: A 20 gauge is the shotgun you might give to a 10 to 12 year old, as a starter, or to your girlfriend. A .410 is the gun you give to your retarded nephew.

    SayItWithWookies: Speaking of which: That “Retarded Hemingway Contest” idea has some promise. But you could go with three quotes from the original that apply here:

    1. All things truly evil start from innocence.

    2. Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. It will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

    3. All my life I’ve looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time.

  154. Hooray For Anything says at 2:08 pm, June 14th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Yeah, I saw it. I have to say the with a few exceptions, the blogosphere is totally kicking the MSM’s media ass on covering the story. Both Sully and HuffPo are updating constantly and throwing everything into the mix– twitter posts, YouTube clips, reader translated news items, posts from Iranian bloggers, and if another blogger has something interesting to say (like Cole’s item) or relevant news information, it ricochets through the internet within minutes so that I saw Cole’s piece on at least five sites last night.

    Meanwhile, I watched cable news last night and there was nothing about what was going on– MSNBC was showing prison documentaries, CNN Headline News was doing celebrity gossip, FOX had show after show of people doing nothing but sitting around and bashing Obama, and CNN was just silly (PALIN VS LETTERMAN! Who you got?). Everyone of the people who run cable news channels should basically just quit in shame. Actually, they passed that point years ago.

  155. Hooray For Anything: Twitter is coming into its own with this event - people are twittering to various newsfeeds and telling them to switch focus to Iran pronto, and in the absence of official news, they are supplying their own: here’s what’s happening in Tehran, in Rasht, in Karaj, etc.

  156. DoctorCulturae says at 2:56 pm, June 14th, 2009

    AxmxZ: Never thought I’d read Twittage, but the MSM is pwned. The first person accounts are the official news. If the MSM doesn’t leave their cushy weekend perches they’ll be accused of being asleep at the wheel… again.

  157. Hooray For Anything says at 3:12 pm, June 14th, 2009

    DoctorCulturae: I just flew through the news channels and it’s ridiculous how badly they’re handling it. CNN at most spends about three minutes on it at most but it’s still documentary time on MSNBC and more “Obama SUX” coverage on Fox. Apparently CNN International is all over it but, as usual, the people who run CNN thinks the American People are idiots. Just further proof that the MSM has nobody but themselves to blame for the fact everybody is going elsewhere to get the news.

    For what it’s worth, the NY Times is doing a great job covering it but the Washington Post’s coverage is a fucking joke.

    (PS- sorry for the lack of snark but the story IS really insane, the news coverage in the US depressing, there’s nothing on tv right now, and I’ve had way too much coffee).

  158. Little Old Lady says at 3:13 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Oh Jebus, Wicked Witch! You are SO my sister separated at birth!

  159. BlueStateLibtard says at 3:49 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Hooray For Anything: “Everyone of the people who run cable news channels should basically just quit in shame.” Never were truer words ever said! My God, I don’t expect anything from Fox but blathering idiots, but CNN?!? This morning, I could not believe that tool Rick Sanchez going on and on about Twitter about how it enables “regular people” to communicate with people like “him.” They have become a complete joke, and every ten minutes it’s more crap about the Palin-Letterman war. “Stand by for more from failed vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on a stupid joke that Letterman’s already apologized for and nobody cares about.”

  160. smellyal8r says at 4:20 pm, June 14th, 2009

    BlueStateLibtard: Wait. You thought CNN was a “newsy” counterpoint to Faux? CNN has sucked for the past four or five years. They got so burned by the “Clinton News Network” tag that rather than just do the news, it’s all “on the one hand, on the other hand” jerk-off sessions. Once Jon Stewart lit up Crossfire, they realized they had nothing in the tank and turned it over to blow-dried “news readers” who couldn’t find their ass with both hands (watching the Situation Room is like watching a newscast delivered by a chimp in a suit). The weekends on CNN are the worst (amen to your calling out the R Sanchez rambles). Most of the anchors just came from “local” and think they’ve hit the big time. HA! The one outfit that could do something MSNBC, for some bizarre reason, stops running news on the weekends (it might as well be the old Indian test pattern) and reverts to their “Classic Dateline” formula. I do NOT understand that.

  161. sati demise says at 4:25 pm, June 14th, 2009

    smellyal8r: Classic Dateline? not quite.
    MSNBC should be tarred and feathered for the Inside Prison reality shows. christ.
    Bet those shows cost little to nothing to produce. Who watches that crap?
    and they show hours and hours of it ….

  162. DoctorCulturae says at 4:34 pm, June 14th, 2009

    smellyal8r: The MSM run on automatic through the weekend, especially in the summer. They’ll probably run “breaking news” stories this evening in primetime long after the events have happened. It’s about ad bucks. Why should they run important stories against NASCAR, the PGA, and Shamwow? The Iran election is a perfect example of why their formulas are getting slammed. Evidently the regime has tanks in front of the Interior Ministry, a pattern that mimics what happened in 1979.

  163. Ohio Wonkette Fan says at 4:44 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Damn, he sure does sound like a spoiled rich kid, with one of those mental illnesses or something; not that there is anything wrong with that. It’s the part about screwing over the citizens and invading countries for no good reason that really disappoints me.

  164. x111e7thst says at 4:45 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Hooray For Anything: It’s time twitter was good for something.

  165. Hooray For Anything says at 4:50 pm, June 14th, 2009

    BlueStateLibtard: From Jon Stewart last week: “By the way, why do I have to follow CNN on twitter? If I want to follow them, I can follow them… on CNN.”

    DoctorCulturae: I read somebody saying somewhere that it being the weekend, it’s all skeleton crew and not only are all the big reporters too busy sailing down the Maryland Shore to be bothered with coming in, but they’d have to pay all the tech people overtime and who wants to bother with all that? Actually, it’s kind of good that the news networks aren’t covering the story because by this point it’ll feature just a bunch of people yelling at each other over just how much Obama is to blame for all of this followed by a discussion on whether Obama is a pussy or a huge big fucking pussy for not sending the Marines in.

  166. user-of-owls says at 5:06 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Mr Blifil: My reaction too. You knew it would happen on a Sunday, too, right?

  167. SayItWithWookies says at 5:53 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Andrew Sullivan is now reporting (uh, what?) that the head of Iran’s election monitoring body says the results are invalid and is calling for a do-over. He links to some document in Farsi.
    http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2009/06/followup-on-earlier-posts.html

  168. Scandalabra says at 7:04 pm, June 14th, 2009

    GWB, enduring a bumpy golf cart ride back to the big house where Babs is overseeing the Lobster bake: “I can do it. If I act smart and strong like Dad, I can be prezident too. All his friends wood be so happy!”

  169. chascates says at 7:54 pm, June 14th, 2009

    From Lawyers, Guns, and Money:
    “So, I’m trying to find out something about what’s going on in Iran, and on CNN I can watch a rerun of Larry King interviewing several gentlemen without shirtsleeves who apparently assemble choppers. On Fox Mike Huckabee is trying to explain why Jesus hates credit card relief. MSNBC is rerunning something about a prison in New Mexico. CNBC is evaluating whether college students should be able to afford Chanel tote bags.”

  170. BlueStateLibtard says at 9:05 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Well, at about six tonight, CNN had on REAL journalist who explained the dangers of getting information online (except from Rick Sanchez’ twitter feed) and not to BELIEVE any of it. Better to wait until Monday morning when the heavy hitters saunter in to yell at each other.

  171. Hooray For Anything says at 9:10 pm, June 14th, 2009

    CNN is finally talking about it now but it feels like the JV team is working. I don’t know why they’re getting hit more than others as it looks like everyone on MSNBC took the weekend off and Fox has been, well Fox. Just despicable. Andrew Sullivan, who’s been indispensable this weekend, has lots of both heartbreaking and inspirational stuff on his site. The government is just basically beating the shit out of everyone and people are still out protesting and fighting back. Yet none of this is anywhere.

    The lesson from all of this is that the the whole world IS watching. Just not on weekends.

  172. x111e7thst says at 9:50 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Hooray For Anything: The Italian press is doing a fairly good job and BBC was too until the Iranians began to jam their satellite feed. btw does anyone here know how hard that is to do? I would be interested.

  173. sati demise says at 10:16 pm, June 14th, 2009

    x111e7thst: I had a tech boyfriend who used to break into satellites to steal movie feeds. Not that hard.
    (I still did not understand how he did this after even after he explained it to me-I am a code illiterate)
    Jamming a feed might be different than stealing one, not sure.

  174. DoctorCulturae says at 10:17 pm, June 14th, 2009

    chascates: …and they complain about the internets, snark, and wonder why their credibility is poo.

    BlueStateLibtard: And tomorrow they’ll “break” the news like it just happened overnight. Dweebs.

    Prediction: Twitter will be the focus of the story and not the escalating Iranian unrest. I.e.: “Oh my, people were tweeting each other. Isn’t that such a wonderful thing.” Or maybe it’s back to Mika’s shoes.

  175. smellyal8r says at 10:34 pm, June 14th, 2009

    CNN actually has an international channel…I’m too lazy to see if my cable system has it, but I’ve had it on in the hotel room when I’m in Europe (when I’m not able to find The Simpsons or Law and Order). I would think they could just run CNN-I as a feed on CNN US when real news happens “over there”. I mean, I get who “wants to bring in tech folks in a recession or on the weekends or whatever”, but D Gregory, et al regularly bemoan how people can’t pick out the Middle East even if you highlight it in yellow and, uh, wasn’t there a hostage crisis there once? And maybe a war right now? It’s not news that domestic media in this country sucks, but the MSM proves it over and over and over again. Fareed Zakaria works for CNN, for crissakes. Can’t he just commandeer the news desk for a (Sunday) afternoon and put his (educated) colleagues on the air?

  176. smellyal8r says at 10:37 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Hooray For Anything: Maybe a billionaire southerner could take part of his fortune (inherited from his dad) and develop a news channel that just runs 24 hours a day. When he’s not running the network, he could sail his big ass boat in the Americas Cup and win…wait, that’s already happened? Well, what happened to his news network…oh, oh, I see…

  177. lumpenprole says at 11:09 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Would this have been funny if I’d read it in the Onion?

  178. shortsshortsshorts says at 11:50 pm, June 14th, 2009

    Holy fucking hell? Iran? Really?

    http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/

    Jeebus fucking Christ (allah), this is getting hairy as hell.

  179. SayItWithWookies says at 12:13 am, June 15th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: I know, it’s insane. Wait — do you mean the Iran protest part or the Andrew Sullivan leading the news part?

  180. hobospacejunkie says at 1:18 am, June 15th, 2009

    Hooray For Anything: For what it’s worth, the NY Times is doing a great job covering it

    That may be, in quantity, but the front page story right now is headlined Iran’s Leader Emerges With a Stronger Hand, is co-written by the executive editor and has the tone of “now that the election is over and Ahmadinejad has won…”

    As I’ve written elsewhere (hi Shorts!) the motherfuckers make me want to reach through the tubes and strangle those fucking chickenhawk neocon jackoff warriors for AIPAC.

  181. chascates says at 1:21 am, June 15th, 2009

    And the Washington Post intones:

    “The administration has remained as quiet as possible during the Iranian election season and in the days of street protests since Friday’s vote.”

    As if most media has done otherwise.

  182. nader paul kucinich gravel says at 5:05 am, June 15th, 2009

    Our propaganda media is now paralyzed & stupefied.
    Time to expose them as the prostitutes they are.

  183. meyotch says at 7:27 am, June 15th, 2009

    nader paul kucinich gravel: Meh. I think everyone has pretty much covered the issue above. Not prostitutes so much as banal poseurs convinced of their own importance in the face of over-whelming evidence against it (their importance).

    Now, to show my age and obscure interests, I will change my screen name to perot gritz anderson wallace.

  184. daisy chain says at 8:35 am, June 15th, 2009

    Ducks is Republican for black people.

  185. Cheney and Bush hunting ducks…. now that’s a picture.

  186. DoctorCulturae says at 9:04 am, June 15th, 2009

    smellyal8r: I did check out Zakaria’s GPS on CNN Int. during the afternoon. Brilliant. Why they didn’t do exactly as you suggest is dumbfounding. At the time I switched back to domestic CNN and was treated to more Letterman-Palin rehash. In the evening they defensively went on about how they WERE covering the story trotting out their own tweets, but always saying “it’s not corroborated.” As if the story of in-the-streets unrest needed to substantiated.

    Boy I sure hope Mika wears some hawt shoes again today.

  187. proudgrampa says at 11:52 am, June 15th, 2009

    Cookie Guggelman: You took the words right out of my mouth…

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