Wonkette
America’s neoconservatives simply do not care for democratic or reformist movements arising organically among the citizens of tyrannical nations. What is America supposed to do, right? Who are these “self-interested” clowns crowding out the strong arm of the American military, which only wants to give them their freedoms after killing them all? Do they hate freedom? So much! And so as punishment to them, the “Iranian people,” America’s neoconservatives want Ahmadinejad to defeat the reformist challenger Mousavi in today’s election, because it would just make the inevitable nuke ‘n’ rape campaign go down all the smoother, later.
In an interview with freaking K-LO, the American Enterprise Institute’s Michael Rubin sums up his and his colleagues’ feelings: If Mousavi were to win, that idiot Barack Obama might think that something has *changed,* because he is retarded and gets all of his news from the notably liberal MSNBC.
LOPEZ: Should we want Ahmadinejad to lose the election this weekend?
RUBIN: The Obama administration tends to conflate advocacy with analysis. They see in the Islamic Republic what they want to see, not what the Iranian leadership’s intentions really are. As such, should someone more soft-spoken and less defiant — someone like former prime minister Mir-Hossein Mousavi — win, it would be easier for Obama to believe that Iran really was figuratively unclenching a fist when, in fact, it had it had its other hand hidden under its cloak, grasping a dagger. What Ahmadinjead did was to expose the ideology of the power holders in Iran for what it actually is. Holocaust denial, for example, is nothing new to the Islamic Republic. Both Rafsanjani and Khatami also encourage it. Ahmadinejad’s bluntness, however, forced even the Europeans to react.
Isn’t it amazing that Michael Rubin knows what every state’s secret intentions are, but the President who gets classified intelligence briefings every morning has no clue? Amazing but true! So might as well go with the far right-wing psychopath who is at least honest, rather than the one who supports not chopping off ladies’ heads for daring to show an ankle at the grocery store.
Right-Wing Neocons Rooting For Ahmadinejad Win [Huffington Post]
In that case…Heil Hitler!
Doesn’t Rupert Murdoch own one of the Iranian TV channels? Also?
freedom’s just another word for no one left to bomb
The far-right wing of the Iranian clerical establishment was no doubt praying for a John McCain win in our last presidential elections. They need a belligerent and hostile US as a means of distracting the Iranian people from the mess they have made.
Where is James von Brunn when you need him?
You don’t understand, Newell, these are MUSLINS we’re talking about. The Holy Qu’ran specifically requires every Muslim to work toward murdering every non-Muslim in their sleep. It’s the secret sixth pillar, between the hajj and giving alms. Therefore, the non-crazy-sounding Muslims are the WORST KIND.
It’s exactly like Weimar Germany. If Hitler hadn’t come to power and forced us into the most horrifying war in human history, things would have been much WORSE.
There’s no way that guy’s gonna win, his middle name is Hossein.
what if Iran isn’t just secretly clutching a dagger, but also has a shotgun, a pint of whiskey, some meth and has only just finished ripping off some of those “Do not remove under penalty of law” things. We need to consider these things because the gullible administration won’t.
They see in the Islamic Republic what they want to see. indeed.
x111e7thst: it remains to be seen if Obama has a dagger hidden under his cloak.
And don’t think that Britain is going to change if Gordon Brown gets thrown under the bus by the voters. All Britain dances to the tune spun by their aging Spider Queen.
No talks about it now, cause Ronnie Reagan is now the greatest American of all time, but the neocons and even folks like George Will were ripping old Ronnie back in the day for not starting World War III with Gorbachev.
Dick Cheney and Bill Kristol always saw missing out on World War III as a great tragedy for the world.
sati demise: Obama has a scimitar under there! Under his Koran. Because he’s [i]MUSLIN[/i], what with being named Hussein. Unlike the other guy… what’s his name… Mousavi? Heck, that sounds nearly Jewish. Not scary at [i]all[/i].
Wait, am I absolutely, soul-crushingly hungover, or did Rubin’s argument make absolutely no god damn sense in the slightest?
Plus, saying “regime change” give Rubin a raging boner.
Say Jim, why do these neocons always fall back on that Holocaust denial bullshit, when many of them are, you know, believers in The Vast Jewish Conspiracy?
also I am obviously new here, and have committed the worst sin of the Internet. I have let my formatting show!
Off for seppuku and groceries.
Mark Sanford: Ahmadinejad/von Brunn 2012? The GOP dream ticket!
1. Well, we all know how allegedly “classified intelligence” (is that an oxymoran??) can be twisted into whatevah
but
2. This smells to me like Allende’s Chile. ‘member how well that turned out for Salvador?
WHAT??!!? the “little people” voted in something more like real democracy? Ya REEELY didn’t think neocons believe in “real democracy,” didja? That would be bad for bidniss, fools.
A-Mod is smarter than HE IS crazy.
BARRY CAN SEE INTO HIS SOUL.
I see. To a neoboob, War is like the game Risk and diplomacy’s just like Sports. Like last night, I was hoping for the Boston Red Sox to beat the NY Yankees and they did, but then the Toronto Blue Jays lost to Tejas and nothing fucking changed.
Cape Clod: That’s “By the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and of her other Realms and Territories, Aging Spider Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith” to you.
Yes, how are we ever going to succeed in demonizing Iran and making people think they are a greater threat that Iraq and Latveria combined if they end up with a reasonable president? It’ll make it a lot harder to convince people that we should nuke them, just for the lulz.
sati demise: I continue to believe that Obama should re-establish diplomatic relations and send them S Palin as ambassador.
The neocons seem to be saying that Iran needs a deeper reform, like a religious and cultural one. Of course, a small group of bloodthirsty American Jews are exactly the people to bring this about. We could start by deposing the reform leader, so we could justify bombing them later on. This makes no sense at all, of course, but it might happen anyway if the reform leader is, say, a populist who wants to keep too much of the oil wealth for his people, like Mossadegh. Then the oil companies and the neocons will be in heaven together. (Although oil companies might have a problem with nuking Iran, short-term thinkers that they are. This is a rare case of where our government’s moral leadership should outrank the leadership of our corporations.)
Sure the Obamatards combine (pardon me if I don’t use the stooge word “conflate”) advocacy and analysis, as any pol does — what a huge improvement over Cheney’s total disregard for rational analysis and insistence on advocacy based on bad fiction, like the imaginary weapons of mass destruction! Could somebody get Rubin back on his paranoid schizo meds?
I watched/read some of the Iranian election coverage and got all giddy at the idea of world peace in our lifetime. A Mousavi win would mean better Middle East/West negotiations and more freedom for Iranian women. I thought, gee you can kind of see the Obama effect of change and hope spreading around the world. When the US presented a stubborn, idiotic, moron President to the world, we got back anger and death threats. Now we’ve presented an intelligent, compassionate leader, who has greeted nations with respect, and we’re starting to see it come back to us. There’s a lesson here about “doing onto others” or something, but as a heathen liberal I know so little about “values” and such. Maybe the neocons could explain it?
Really, after the Bush Administration, can you say you are surprised that Conservatives prefer the bat-shit crazy, bomb happy, screw the little people, lets remake the world on their flaming bodies, candidate?
Ahmadinejad is going to lose the elction but will quickly be employed by FOX news as their new fashion Editor.
paintitblack: Or like Mossadegh’s Iran.
JMP: No worries. If Mousavi wins, we’ll always have North Korea.
You have to admit, if it was the neo-Cons’ goal to keep Ahmadinejad in power to serve as an example to us all of what a dick Ahmadinejad is, they succeeded brilliantly.
lawrenceofthedesert: Hey, have you been killed by terrorists yet? If not, it’s only because Cheney kept you safe!
Monsieur Grumpe: Hey, he’d fit in perfectly there. No gays allowed, women should be subservient to men, executions for even minor crimes, compulsory religion; let’s face it, Iran is a conservative’s paradise, and Ahmadinejad’s policies are pretty much the same as those of Pat Robertson, Newt Gingrich and the Oxy-addicted fat one.
Monsieur Grumpe: Ahmadinejad can replace Shep Smith.
Lazy Media: You said what I said first, but with a lot more words
The neocons won’t be happy until a secular, dictatorial monarchist gets voted into power with the help of the CIA and then immediately suspends all future elections.
Michael Rubin tends to conflate douching with toothbrushing. They are not the same.
Saragon: get out while you still can!
Monsieur Grumpe: fascist Editor.
NoWireHangers: <…Maybe the neocons could explain it?
Really, NWH, once we have started a few more wars (well, they wouldn’t really start, ’cause even if we bomb them, those folks will want us to, so we aren’t talking about shooting wars here). Anyway … where was I … oh yes, we just need to bomb and attack a few more countries. Then everyone will see that not only fair and just, but that we only want what is best for them. It is really obvious. Only a traitor wouldn’t see it. Really. And it has worked so well thus far, wouldn’t you say?
Rush Limbaugh is currently screaming for Mousavi’s birth certificate (in Arabic).
The Station Manager: All he is saying is that we should bomb the Iranians if they elect some guy who pretends not to be an asshole like our Mahmoud. See?
Come here a minute: He could be a new addition to “Fox & Friends.”
“…tends to conflate advocacy with analysis. They see in the Islamic Republic what they want to see…” said without irony or self-awareness. Classic! K-Lo did exert and editorial hand, I noticed, by excising the lines “cup my balls” and “don’t talk with your mouth full.”
Do you think it was good for her, as well?
Isn’t it amazing that Michael Rubin knows what every state’s secret intentions are, but the President who gets classified intelligence briefings every morning has no clue?
Yea, but the President reads those intelligence briefings with “Negro eyes.”
Cape Clod: “All Britain dances to the tune spun by their aging Spider Queen.”
Lolth?
No no no, what Rubin means is that the CIA is really going to feel bad about the pig-AIDS laced chelo-kabbab reserved for the election winner if that nice Mousavi guy gets elected instead.
What total bullshit. Khatami has ALWAYS said there was a holocaust, just that it doesn’t justify bombing the shit of the Palestinians.
What a lying scumbag.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Bill Kristol is planning a night-time raid on Pyongyang, which should work since they don’t have electricity.
I wonder how certain wonketeers frequently have something bad to say about us Jews- or THEM Jews per Rev. J. I can’t tell if it is snark or if some of you are haters yourselves. Not that I care- since I have no question about anyone who is racist,anti-semitic, anti feminist or homophobic. and please do tell me it is Zionists you hate- not all Jews- that being the current “some of my best friends are “
lizard scum: Yes, indeedy; that one, too.
Saragon: Try carets instead of brackets, then no seppuku will be necessary.
finallyhappy: I’m nominating this for best post of the day.
spidoosh.
Isn’t it amazing that Michael Rubin knows what every state’s secret intentions are, but the President who gets classified intelligence briefings every morning has no clue?
Eh, it doesn’t matter who the president is — the previous occupant of the Oval Office wouldn’t see his face in front of his hand if he didn’t believe it was there.
As for rooting for Ahmedinejad — it’s along the same lines as rooting for Obama to fail — the chance that conservative prejudices and failed policies might be thoroughly repudiated by the success of reality-based actions is the worst fate in the world for these people. If the world was all sunshine, harmony, free health care and clean energy, the few remaining neocons would be grumbling because we didn’t get to that point their way — through invading every country and torturing people. It’s, like, the only situation where the end doesn’t justify the means.
magic titty: According to other nutters, the neocons ARE the Vast Jewish Conspiracy. Man, you need a scorecard to keep all the various factions of nutter-dom straight.
finallyhappy: I hate Zionists. Sure it may be purty there but you have all those religiously insane people throughout the whole state. You have to go through them to get anywhere.
That is one skanky national park.
Oh there is some other sort of Zion?
Damn, that picture is an assault on the senses.
lizard scum: this worked really well in Iraq.
New reports are calling an election tie, too close to call (ie, more time to fix the ballot boxes/voting machines)
Anyone know if they have Diebold machines over there?
zenferret: are you dissing the Mormons?
geez, they are so going to baptize you after you’re dead.
and Zion National Park is a jewel, I tells ya.
If you rape someone who has been recently nuked, does your dick, like, glow in the dark?
Because that would make it almost as cool as it is wrong.
“Holocaust denial, for example, is nothing new to the Islamic Republic. Both Rafsanjani and Khatami also encourage it.”
I always thought that Khatami’s statements that “the Holocaust is a fact,” and the “Holocaust was a crime of Nazism,” were explicit rejections of Holocaust denial, but what do I know?
“Isn’t it amazing that Michael Rubin knows what every state’s secret intentions are, but the President who gets classified intelligence briefings every morning has no clue?”
Isn’t that why we were supposed to have blind faith in the previous administration?
Are we going RedState now?
Vewol Mevemont: oh snap!
He’s just a jealous little bitch. The other hand may be under the cloak, but that aint a dagger it’s grasping.