Wonkette
Look, one of the things we namby-pamby liberals get critiqued for is our inability to just stand up and show some moral courage, to say that some things are right and some are wrong. Usually we’re all like “Oh, there’s context” or “It’s society’s fault” or “Who are we to judge” or whatever. But sometimes, even the most consensus-addicted hippie has to take a stand. Today, your faithful Comics Curmudgeon will identify five cartoons that are simply incorrect.
Look, Barack Obama is on his knees, reaching out to touch the beautiful roses of Islam. But watch out for those thorns of extremism, Mr. President! Here, why not wear this gardening glove of U.S. military might?
Here’s the thing: if you need to label literally every single goddamn element of any importance in your political cartoon, then your political cartoon is wrong. I mean, why stop here? Why not label Uncle Sam “America” and label Obama “Barack Obama, the president of America” and the bend in his waist as “Bowing to the King of Saudi Arabia?” Why not pursue things to their logical conclusion? In fact, why not just replace the whole cartoon with a 1,500-word essay on the dangers of pursuing rapprochement with the Islamic world? At least then we’d know in advance to skip it.
Speaking of following things to their logical conclusion, here’s a cartoon that might not have been wrong if it had the courage of its convictions. It depicts a lonely Barack Obama visiting the park, with a bag of nuclear bread crumbs for his pigeon friends. At first, he offers a radioactive morsel to the lone Iran-pigeon, but you know how those pigeons are! Soon dozens of them are flocking to him, looking for a tasty atomic treat of their own.
That’s all well and good, but why has Obama merely vanished under the pigeon-pile in the second panel? In order to drive home the nuclear horror his naive good intentions have unleashed, he should be depicted running away from the bench shrieking in terror; or, better yet, the pigeons should be feasting on his flesh, just as America will be devoured once the pigeons of the world acquire nuclear weapons. (This would be true whether by “pigeons of the world” we mean rogue states or actual pigeons.)
Hey, you know what’s fun? Comparing things that are kind of alike! For instance, this cartoon posits that a war started on misleading pretenses might have some similarities with a government-sponsored corporate reorganization! This, however, is wrong, because wars involved tens of thousands of dead people, and even more people losing limbs and being psychologically scarred for life, and whole societies wrecked for decades, whereas a corporate reorg at worst means, what, we might be subsidizing some electric cars or something?
To be fair, though, this cartoon is right in that it depicts Obama with a cigarette in his hand. This is actually a fairly common visual trope among conservative political cartoonists and it’s pretty much the best thing they’ve done with him visually yet. Certainly better than the ears.
The funniest Barack-Obama-smoking cartoons are those that depict him casually puffing away on a grubby little cigarette. I suppose you could get some mileage out of having him doing it surreptitiously out on the White House back porch (does the White House have a back porch?), looking around nervously all the while; however, if you did so, he should strictly be smoking tobacco. If instead he was smoking a spliff the size of a sub sandwich, it would probably be more appropriate to depict him as very, very relaxed, and possibly lying down. Thus, this cartoon is wrong. Barack Obama is far too cool and collected to be a paranoid smoker.
It is not wrong to pay tribute to the tragic loss of life that resulted from the mysterious crash of Air France Flight 447. However, airplanes do not themselves have heaven-bound souls, and are already equipped with non-organic wings. Replacing those with angel wings makes the plane look disturbingly like some kind of heavenly dildo.
#2: That’s the worst drawing of Tippi Hedren I’ve ever seen.
I’d pay good money to see Barack H. Obama, President, light up a bowl of some dank shit with his feet on the Resolute Desk.
InsidiousTuna: On a Saturday, of course. Not during the work week.
Most of my chick friends tell me that the dildo is in fact, heavenly.
monster spliff at the white house? yes, please
Off topic but has anyone seen this picture of AWESOME?
http://www.faithmouse.com/obama_unicorn_sunsphere.jpg
#5 looks like a winged submarine or torpedo - if it wasn’t for the label I’d have no idea it was supposed to be a plane. And the added bird wings were just confusing - I thought, what, was the cartoonist trying to comment on the dangers of bird-plane collisions?
Oh dammit! Ramirez actually uses a not-stupid visual metaphor to make the not-crazy point that being nice to one wannabe nuclear nation could encourage other wannabe nuclear nations. (Overlooking the fact that every wannabe nuclear state has a different motivation for going nuclear–I mean, Iran wants a nuke so they can be threaten Israel and be bigger badasses then Pakistan, but Taiwan would need one to keep from being assimilated by the Borgs in Beijing.) Normally Ramirez is just hella wrong and stupid. Okay, howabout a Mallard Fillmore strip to restore the natural balance of dopey nutty rightwingery?
Dude. Is that Cheech or Chong leaning against the pillar?
I resent #3 for depicting W as having sticky-outy ears as cute as NoBama’s.
Crab1: Okaaaaay. Whoever painted this only had one hand on the paintbrush…hope they put out a drop cloth…
Is that supposed to be an identifiable person standing over the Iraq map, or just some faceless bureaucrat? If it’s Rumsfeld, then that cartoonist has some serious drawing problems.
And that plane bound for heaven (or rather the top of the radar screen, which isn’t up in any sense, but more north, probably — but second-graders make the same mistake all the time) — it’s so sweet that our cartoonists are able to portray as somehow serene what must have been, in reality, a terrifying, hellish last few minutes. Because I guess a cartoon of two hundred some people screaming as their airplane is ripped to pieces and plunges into the sea, their prayers and pleas for help falling on the emptiness that is divine providence, without a proper farewell to their loved ones would just be too awful. But if that’s the case, then tarting it up as some sort of tender, quiet metaphor is just really stupid and tasteless.
Jesus. I know it’s a cartoon, but those Sambo lips in #4 are REALLY offensive.
That first one. It looks like Uncle Sam is fixin’ to have buttseks with Barry and is showing him
the condom. (of U.S. Might).
Wingnut=Buttseks.
I thought that The Onion’s political cartoons were supposed to satire, not a role model for right-wing cartoonists.
SayItWithWookies: The other thing, it was slam full of Frenchmen so you know they all went straight to hell. Another opportunity missed to portray french women copulating with Satan, Jeebus has a sad.
In the gardening one, why is Uncle Sam such a limp-wristed fuck? Sort of undercuts his offer of “might.” I think the cartoonist doth protest too much when the subject is men and flowers.
Crab1: Thank you for that.
Crab1: Is that the President copulating with the severed head of a unicorn!?!?
I must agree with the Comics Curmudgeon–wrong, wrong, wrong.
Crab1: Is that unicorn’s horn the Knoxville Sun Sphere? I’m pretty sure it is, which elevates the awesomeness of that image OFF THE CHARTS.
“heavenly dildo”
that did it for me, right there.
PoliticalGraffiti: I hope it’s what’s growing in the White House garden. YES PLEASE!
freakishlystrong: Nasty. Do you imply that Oh, Bama has a five-fingered or quintfurcated [sic?] organ? Of Hope?
paintitblack: That’s Dubya? Geeze, it looks more like a combination of Henry Kissinger and Al Haig.
dijetlo: Carla Bruni probably knows what that’s like.
Cool idea. Start labeling dildo sizes as various aircaft types. The good, all purpose, “work horse” dildo would be say, the 757. Long enough, but not with too much girth. If you’re into smallish, then of course you would need the 737. But whoa! Look at that chick take that jumbo sized 747!!! The ‘bubble’ could be ribs(?)
norbizness: Yesterday, a raven chased me for a block while I ran. He swooped and cawed. It was horrifying. I felt just like Tippi Hedren, only not as pretty because it’s hard to look pretty when a bird is trying to attack you unless you are in a movie. I think it was protecting an injured relative.
You know, the “sneaking a smoke” one actually is a pretty fantastic political cartoon until you read the text on the spliff and the explanation box at the bottom right, which make *no fricking sense* and even if they did make sense aren’t a coherent political criticism in the first place. I bet you could make several awesome political cartoons (with either a right or left wing message!) just by photoshopping new text in.
So, is the first cartoon trying to tell us that Obama and Islamic extremists are fans of Spinal Tap?
Crab1: I share your enthusiasm, thanks.
SayItWithWookies: Jeez, next thing you’re gonna say is that Reagan’s space shuttle line about slipping the bonds of earth-land to kiss THE LORD (or something) was tasteless too. Oh, wait. . .
@RoscoePColtraine Not to mention the A380….whoa.
So in the first one, why is the glove hanging to look like an udder? Is the garden of extremism fertilized by Obama’s manure? Is American Might a source of nourishment for the newborn calf of Iraqi of freedom? This operates on so many levels! I’m so confused …
RoscoePColtraine: Mmmmmmm… ribs.
InsidiousTuna: I’d pay for the weed as long as we could join in a puff too
RoscoePColtraine: The A380 would be my preferred anal dildo. Plus its European and therefore has snob appeal