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REPUBLICANS ON THE INTERNET

Michael Steele Is Watching Your YouTubes

“Fuck off and die,” Steele says, to the YouTube viral media star. No, just kidding, he invites him to Washington for a blowjob, because of math.

Michael Steele has a pretend friend named “Mathias,” who did math on the Internet. What up playa wanna come 2 DC?

[RNC]


5:37 PM on Thu June 11 2009
By Jim Newell
4819 Views

  1. octupletsmom says at 5:40 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Come to DC for the “Dog and Pony” furry show?

  2. imissopus says at 5:41 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Can a brotha get a hollaback, yo!?

    Isn’t the term dog-and-pony show usually considered a bit negative?

  3. user-of-owls says at 5:42 pm, June 11th, 2009

    You remember how the CIA invented crack to keep the black man down in the 1980s? Well “Social Media” is the crack of the 2000s. FREE KWAME!

  4. Listening to social media is how you catch socialism, Mr. Steele.

  5. you cannot be serious says at 5:45 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Mathias. Wasn’t he the leader in Children of the Corn?

  6. DagNabbit says at 5:45 pm, June 11th, 2009

    I bet the white guy who let him use his office for this video made him bring his own shoe shine box to sit on.

    I bet the white guy who let him use his office for this video made him bring his own bucket to carry water from the well to the house in.

    And can we start a birther movement for this guy too, cause you know, he’s black?

  7. user-of-owls says at 5:46 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Prediction: Michael Steel is gonna get eated (again) by Fats Limbaugh tomorrow for listening to Socialist Media.

  8. SomeNYGuy says at 5:47 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Johnny Mathias? Chances are!

  9. rambone says at 5:48 pm, June 11th, 2009

    I can’t understand a word the colored fellow is saying. Can someone translate for me?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54DoaQj3NTY

  10. EdFlinstone says at 5:49 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Mathias, remember keep it real real simple for wingnuts, dont want them to have to take off their shoes when doing the maths.

  11. Buzz Feedback says at 5:49 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Mathias? Sounds foreign.

  12. DagNabbit says at 5:49 pm, June 11th, 2009

    rambone: Shuck. Jive. Shuck. Jive.

  13. 19kevin8 says at 5:50 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Mike’s over-eager face says it all, you don’t even have to click play.

  14. Country Club Jihadi says at 5:50 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Two Snaps Up on your video, Mathias!
    Gawd. Montel is more watchable.

  15. SayItWithWookies says at 5:51 pm, June 11th, 2009

    So now that we’ve gone through Joe the Plumber, Sarah the Clotheshorse and Carrie the Walking Titjob, this Matthias the Economist is the next straight-talking everyman foisted on us by the GOP? Jeeze this gets tiring.

  16. TeddyS says at 5:55 pm, June 11th, 2009

    What a terrific idea. That Michael Steele is face of the New Republicana, using all the intertubes to attract those young illegal alien voters and Meggie McCain with his fresh, appealing ideas for maintaining power for those old white guys who still don’t like him.

  17. The Cold Sea says at 5:56 pm, June 11th, 2009

    How many crack rocks does 10,000 pennies buy, that’s what I want to know.

  18. DagNabbit says at 5:56 pm, June 11th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: It’s like they’re mocking us, right to our face. After Mathias is discovered balls deep in a small boy, next up will be You the Ignorant.

  19. Scrodd says at 5:58 pm, June 11th, 2009

    When will Michael Steele appear on youporn.com?

  20. imissopus says at 5:59 pm, June 11th, 2009

    you cannot be serious: I believe that was Malachi.

  21. Dave J. says at 5:59 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Goddam is Larry Craig going to be pissed when he shows up for the “Dog and Pony Show with Mathias” and sees some jagoff and 10,000 pennies.

  22. rambone says at 6:00 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Scrodd: Following in his “big” “brother,” Lexington’s footsteps? ,

  23. ManchuCandidate says at 6:03 pm, June 11th, 2009

    I saw you on intertubes back in Oh Two
    Surfing porn with no intent clicking on you.
    If I was young it didn’t stop you coming through.

    Oh-a oh

    GOP wanted to show their ideology.
    Rewritten by retards and new technology,
    and now I understand the problems you can see.

    Oh-a oh

    Hung out with furries
    Oh-a oh

    What did you tell them?
    Mike Steel killed the intertubes.
    Mike Steel killed the intertubes.

    Stupidit came and broke your mind.
    Oh-a-a-a oh

  24. lizard scum says at 6:03 pm, June 11th, 2009

    This is how they’re recruiting now. If Republicans come back to power, American businesses will end up scouring youtube for people who look like they have basic skills in math. Anyway, accept the position and you might get to ride in Steele’s 760iL (that L is for long wheelbase, and it’s all about backseat wiggle room, baby). [Black men are sexually promiscuous.] -Just kidding, but Steel’s a playa.

  25. Senator Bateman says at 6:04 pm, June 11th, 2009

    The Cold Sea: About half of a rock….just enough for a P Dog.

  26. Come here a minute says at 6:05 pm, June 11th, 2009

    A “grass roots logic award” for the GOP? That’s quite the oxymoron. Oxymoran.

  27. Scrodd says at 6:06 pm, June 11th, 2009

    rambone: Your response is full of win. I was thinking he was related to Long Dong Silver, but he is so cliche, and I hear it was really a codpiece.

  28. SayItWithWookies says at 6:06 pm, June 11th, 2009

    DagNabbit: Me? Well, aside from their odious values, I might take them up on it if there’s money and tail involved.

  29. Joshua Norton says at 6:09 pm, June 11th, 2009

    To wingnutters high tech means using YouTube and Twitter. Don’t all those MIT grads feel stupid for wasting all that money at such an obvious diploma mill?

  30. user-of-owls says at 6:15 pm, June 11th, 2009

    With apologies to the one (and only) video that MTV played for the first month or so of its existence:

    Social Media (Mikey!) Killed the Radio Star (oh, you know who)

  31. thefrontpage says at 6:16 pm, June 11th, 2009

    When does Michael Steele go crazy and get busted for smoking crack and partying with hookers with Eliot Spitzer, Larry Craig, Mark Foley and Marion Barry at the Budget Inn on New York Avenue?!?!?!?!

  32. lovekills says at 6:28 pm, June 11th, 2009

    This guy shouldn’t be left unattended with a dry cleaning bag.

  33. Hooray For Anything says at 6:29 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Who’s Matthias? Is he the Play him Off Keyboard Cat?

  34. “Chairman Steele is listening to social media… INSTEAD OF WORKING.”

  35. JooJoo Bee says at 6:46 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Charles “Mac” Mathias, former maryland Senator? Wow! That’s tapping into some serious “socialist masquerading as a Republican” shit. This guy must really be serious about shedding his conservative leg irons.

  36. Pithaughn says at 6:47 pm, June 11th, 2009

    This is the first time I have actually listened to this Steele feller. What jumped out was his insistence that very complicated, very technical discussions are not worthy. Everything must be dumbed down. That is why your garden variety climate change denier, for instance, can hang on to their belief. There is no way to dumb down climate science, the Earth’s climate is just too complicated for an easy cartoony explanation. So, the result is news anchors joking about global warming because it so cold out there where Al is doing the super neato screaming fan segment.
    Why do I always get so far OT?

  37. DagNabbit says at 6:56 pm, June 11th, 2009

    I suck yo dick.

    What?

    I said, I suck yo dick man.

    Huh?

    I got these pennies man.

  38. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 6:57 pm, June 11th, 2009

    So that is the person who is watching my videos of me showering with an otter pop.

  39. hobospacejunkie says at 7:07 pm, June 11th, 2009

    He means Bob Mathias, the Olympic Decathlon champ in ‘48 & ‘52, with the TEN events and the point counting and stuff. Only Bob is dead, so Steelio’s totes confused.

  40. LittlePig says at 7:10 pm, June 11th, 2009

    user-of-owls: Manchu beat you to the punch.

  41. orange says at 7:13 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Come here a minute: “that’s the way the world should run, because that’s how you and I operate in it”

    what.the.fuck

  42. Does Steele even know what youtube is? I’m sure he was out in the garage trying to find it.

  43. sorry to be OT but here is a palin/letterman poll the bitters are stacking in palins favor.
    http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2009/06/vote_weigh_in_on_palinletterma.php

  44. He’s takin’ yer gunz next.

  45. assistant/atlas says at 7:46 pm, June 11th, 2009

    DagNabbit: I think it was actually Jive, Shuck, Shuck, Jive.

    I know because I have a lot of black friends like Mike Steele.

  46. JooJoo Bee says at 7:54 pm, June 11th, 2009

    hobospacejunkie: Oh, so he’s not actually going socialilst, then? Aw, too bad. That would’ve been fun.

  47. JooJoo Bee says at 7:58 pm, June 11th, 2009

    johnd: johnd: I just went and did my bit. Come on, gang! Remember what we did for Ed Tinkerbell? We can turn that poll around!

  48. x111e7thst says at 8:00 pm, June 11th, 2009

    How come nobody invites me to Washington for a blowjob? I WILL FIGHT THIS DISCRIMINATION ALL THE WAY TO THE SCOTUS.

  49. assistant/atlas says at 8:02 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Okay…I actually watched it. I made it 13 seconds. The part where he goes “Loved it” –it was too awkward to go on.

    Chairman Mike, I will let you in on a little internet convention that will smooth your way, virally. You do not tell another random dude whose video you are responding to that you “loved it” in that way unless you want to have buttsecs with him. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…except to Republicans…who should’ve been like, “Uh, Mike, can we do another take on that? A little less ghey this time, please.”

  50. shortsshortsshorts says at 8:04 pm, June 11th, 2009

    x111e7thst: If you have crack, you are welcome in D.C. and can have all the blowjobs you’d like.

  51. Hopey dont play that game says at 8:14 pm, June 11th, 2009

    He needs to get his youtubes tied.

  52. 4tehlulz says at 8:14 pm, June 11th, 2009

    statement of fact: in the last few days, both James von Brunn and Rev Wright have claimed Michael Steele is fucking retarded.

  53. SayItWithWookies says at 8:23 pm, June 11th, 2009

    I just watched Mr. Political Math’s video, and now I feel bad for Michael Steele. If that’s all it takes to get him excited, then the GOP is truly out of ideas. Not that that’s stopped them before.

  54. Finally we know what Steele is doing with his time

  55. Extemporanus says at 8:49 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Perhaps if Chairman Steele spent less time listening to Mathias, and more time listening to Englishias, we might no longer need to employ “Big Willie Style” as an RNC Rosetta Stone.

  56. jetjaguar says at 8:53 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Chairman Steele is listening to social media… like a BAWSS.

  57. DustBowlBlues says at 9:09 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Pithaughn: Not so off topic. When rebuilding the country is reduced to the cast of Bob The Builder doing utube videos, what other conclusion can one reach? They just want to appeal to the stupid, assuming that’s the majority of America. The Republicans must be basing their assessment on voters in Oklahoma and Texas, only. Yeah, down here they’re just that stupid.

  58. bitchincamaro says at 9:35 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Am I the only one seeing and hearing Michael Scott of Dunder-Miflin on this clip? It’s uncanny. Bobby Jindal of 30 Rock knows what I’m talking about.

  59. Joshua Norton says at 9:39 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Do you think he knows that his ears are on upside down?

  60. bitchincamaro says at 9:43 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Did somebody say “open thread”? This mofo be stale.

  61. Mike Steele says at 9:48 pm, June 11th, 2009

    I am Michael Steele. It’s a good thing my self image is intact or I would be very hurt by all of your nasty comments.

    I’m doing the best I can. In case you hadn’t noticed, I don’t have a lot to work with. I am trying to expand a party of angry, aging, southern, white, closeted homosexual men who hate women, coloreds, Mexicans, liberals and anyone who had at least one semester of Juco or more. It’s not easy. So if I try something say, a little unorthodox or edgy now and then, well shit, what would you do? I play the cards I have.

    So fuck y’all.

  62. SayItWithWookies says at 10:03 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Mike Steele: I already said I sympathize with your plight. It’s extra sad that you happen to be the nerdiest black man in recorded history. When you say “nizzle” your credibility flies out the window so fast that innocent bystanders have actually suffered ear damage. So I admire your epic struggle — I hope it never stops.

  63. Country Club Jihadi says at 10:08 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Joshua Norton: I think you solved the puzzle. He looks like Mr. Potato Head.

  64. shortsshortsshorts says at 10:12 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Mike Steele: SUP DOG. You done playin’ it though when it comes to the dark folks. You probably have .672% of the non-Caucasian population, so you just COLD rackin’ it up. Props on you, homey.

  65. rocktonsammy says at 10:19 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Busta move

  66. spraklepeapooh says at 10:20 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Ok, i totally thought that the “chariman” Steele with the red background picture was Wonkette being clever and making the Dear [Republican] Leader look like a socialist/marxist/communist (you know, ’cause that would be funny, to call a republican a socialist, right?). Anyway, nope Wonkette didn’t even have to make it up! That was on the RNC website!!?? Seems the RNC has been infiltrated.

    Does this now mean that Cheney must bomb himself? I hope so.

  67. Johnny Zhivago says at 10:36 pm, June 11th, 2009

    He’s learning about YouTube and Twitter and Powerpoint, because it just looks good on the resume.

  68. Johnny Zhivago says at 10:38 pm, June 11th, 2009

    spraklepeapooh: In the next video, The Chairman is going to be hosting a cook-off between Bobby Flay and Sarah Palin in Chef Stadium.

  69. Nerdalicious says at 10:43 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Yeye da man down wit it
    http://blingee.com/blingee/view/91106177-ALIENS-2012-
    what up dogs?
    PS: Who’s runnin’ the rethugs today?

  70. GaySailor says at 10:46 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Michael Steele needs to take the “black face” makeup off. That whole “Uncle Tom” act is getting really old. I think he is one of the whitest acting black men I’ve ever seen! I wonder if Clarence Thomas watches him, and practices in his Supreme Court cloak room to be more like him?

  71. GaySailor says at 10:47 pm, June 11th, 2009

    Michael Steele is the reincarnation of John Wilkes Booth. It was karmic punishment for killing Abe Lincoln to come back as a black man leading the Republican Party.

  72. Nerdalicious says at 10:53 pm, June 11th, 2009

    “dawg & pony show”
    holy crap the biggest hands in the universe! you know what THAT means sheeples.
    the soudtrack of m.c. steeles life, so 2003
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qc6WnUfmAdI

  73. Nerdalicious says at 11:01 pm, June 11th, 2009

    GaySailor:
    ok so funny i peed myself

  74. CthuNHu says at 11:46 pm, June 11th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: I dunno. I could’ve stood having Carrie the Walking Titjob foisted on me a few times without it getting tiring. Michael Steele? Uh, no.

  75. SayItWithWookies says at 11:57 pm, June 11th, 2009

    And here’s a rare candid shot of Mr. Steele.

  76. SayItWithWookies says at 12:34 am, June 12th, 2009

    CthuNHu: The whole Vaseline-on-the-teeth, overly made-up thing doesn’t do anything for me. I think she looked better without all the boobs and makeup, honestly.

  77. Jukesgrrl says at 1:14 am, June 12th, 2009

    imissopus: “Isn’t the term dog-and-pony show usually considered a bit negative?”

    Only to people who rely on TelePrompterZ.

  78. Mr Blifil says at 1:46 am, June 12th, 2009

    10,000 pennies won’t buy very many whore diamonds, but it will pay for a thorough anal STD exam.

  79. Come here a minute says at 6:02 am, June 12th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Here he is waiting for the last contest winner to show up for his free dinner.

  80. gurukalehuru says at 8:30 am, June 12th, 2009

    That Mathias guy has too much time - and too many pennies - on his hands.

  81. Michael Steele spent his junior and senior high years running slide projectors and getting stuffed into lockers.

  82. nappyduggs says at 10:06 am, June 12th, 2009

    gurukalehuru: Hey, yeah! How is that this d-bag hasn’t had to dump his water cooler jug-o-change into a Coinstar machine?! Fancy mathemathiasmatician.

  83. SayItWithWookies: Joe the Plumber’s site looks like it has been ‘disappeared’.

    http://www.secureourdream.com/

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