Wonkette
Yes, there is a consensus, so it must be true. But who is to BLAME, Tapper? [Twitter via The Awl]
TWITTER FACTS
Look Guys, This Is A Fact, Just Sayin’ It’s A Fact; There Are Non-Facts But This Is A Fact, A Factual Item, It Denotes Real World Events, Objectively, As Facts Do, Because It Is A Fact
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5:14 PM
on Thu June 11 2009
By
Jim Newell
2992 Views
Who is to blame? WHO IS TO BLAME? Duh! The Jews.
And yet, the Jews are all pissed off at him over his statements about settlements and the Palestinians, right?
I’m confused!
Is that a fact?
forgracie: I blame the Uighurs.
I’m confused, who did Reverend Wright shoot?
I’m confused. Is it not also a fact that he’s a muslin?
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: Maybe they’re not very good at POTUS domination? Nah, that can’t be it.
MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend: Yeah, I though Obama was an anti-Semite, ever since he told the Israelis “maybe you should stop stealing the Palestinians’ land now”.
Jim Newell: Uppity Uighurs.
statement of fact: Jake Tapper saves children, but not the jewish children
Has Jake Tapper turned into Mr. Hat? And if so, is this good news for Jake Tapper, or bad news for Mr. Hat?
Jake, this does not mean that listening to the voices in your head is a good idea.
Perhaps this is the post-racial society Obama has created (just like when he created the Jews) - blacks and whites coming together. I saw the Wright story and felt like Tapper would probably be the first to make the connection. He’s just that bright and enterprising.
I love this game!
Fact:Jake Tapper has an 11 year old Thai boy chained up in his basement.
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper smokes crack pipes and cock, not necessarily in that order, among DC’s nicer back alleys. For pocket money.
Jake. Shut up.
Huey Lewis has not had a hit since he split with the Jews.
Facts all come with points of view
Facts don’t do what I want them to
Facts just twist the truth around
Facts are living turned inside out
Facts are getting the best of them
Facts are nothing on the face of things
Look guys, this is just a statement of fact… it’s just true.
Jake Tapper was born out of his mothers ass and is controlled by moon-bats.
Statement of fact: Jake Tapper is descended from a primitive African hominid with thumbs on its feet. Just sayin’.
New category, please. Combine Fact with Fairy Tale. Now. Ask him again.
Jake Tapper is a grundle for posting this to Twitter.
Strike that… everybody is a grundle for posting to Twitter.
Oooh I want to play!!
Statement of Fact: Jake Tapper is a fucking idiot.
On the one hand, an old black man said something stupid. On the other hand, an old white man shot a guy to death for no good reason. So really, there’s plenty of venom on all sides.
Crosseyed and Painless: I’m still waiting…for Jake Tapper to make one ounce of sense.
hockeymom: Obama’s foot.
But he’s broken the spell of control by putting his feet up on his desk and flashed his sole/soul.
POTUS and the JEWS are the new Josie and the Pussycats.
I got yer facts right here.
So can we just sum up the “statements of fact” over the past week: a) Obama hates the Jews because he wants them to stop with the settlements, which are damaging their national security interests and our national security interests; b) Obama was really a secret muslim all along because he goes to muslim countries and starts speaking their language and talking to them like human beings; c) Obama is “run by the Jews” that he hates more than life itself. I’m starting to think this Obama fellow is not actually a real person.
I forget: which one said it in a newspaper article that hardly anyone paid attention to and which one shot up the Holocaust Museum?
I have only ever called “Jake Tapper” by his given name: ABC’s Ed Henry.
Wowsers! Old Jake’s stream of consciousness has become an undertow.
If Rev. Wright hates the guy so much why does Obama continue to LOVE him?!
Fact: Twitter makes anyone who twats sound like a fucking idiot. Even when they are, in fact, already a fucking idiot, without that the twatting.
Twitter: Story where the headline should be.
To all journalists out there, past, present or future: Stop whatever you’re doing, and breathe. Reassess everything you know and value, because the scoop is not nearly as worthy as the book. If you think otherwise, you’re flat wrong.
Statement of fact: both Jake Tapper and Michele Bachman have claimed some really stupid shit.
“If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse. If not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.”
–Lance, The Two Gentlemen of Verona, (2.5.44-45)
OH NO!!!
IT’S THE JOOS!!!
EVERYBODY RUN!!!
Tweetard.
Do you know what else the Jews control? Judaism. Statement of fact.
Mad Farmer Manifest: No! Say it ain’t so!
jetjaguar: I heard that mother fucker had like thirty god damn dicks.
lawchic: It’s all a part of a devious plot us Jews have schemed up to throw everyone off the scent. Soon enough our plans will come to fruition as we use Obama as a trojan horse to finally take over the entertainment industry and a large percentage of accounting and legal firms. Now that Obama’s President, we’re going to start Phase 2 which is to put in place a Jewish network executive who’ll then hire some Jewish writers to write a show starring a Jewish comedian in a sitcom about living in New York. Nobody will see it coming
Mwah haw haw haw.
I have not heard of “Jake Tapper” before. Based on the name, I guess I need to familiarize myself with the up-and-cumming* stars of porn.
* See what I did there? I took advantage of a homophone for a terrific joke! Stay in school, kids.
Fact: That twitter sh*t is driving me crazy.
Hooray For Anything: Just as long as you don’t poison our well water. And if you need childrens’ blood for baking I’m fine with it. There’s too many kids running around as it is.
Statement of Fact:
Jake Tapper really is a butt-boy.
Naked Bunny with a Whip: I used to have a homophone, but it would only make obscene calls to Lindsay Graham.
statement of fact: James von Brunn and Rev. Wright have shot up Holocaust memor….
wait.
statement of fact: i just got an email declaring “obama was cursed by the pope.”
And Obama is associated with Rev. Wright, which means Obama believes that Obama is controlled by the jews. The conclusion is inescapable: Obama is a racist! Racist, racist, racist! OBAMA IS A RACIST!
Fact: I would not tap that.
I used to play the Root Beer Tapper stand-up arcade game in the early-to-mid 80s. I wonder if this Jake Tapper is related. I mean, Jake is related to Root Beer: STATEMENT OF FAKKKKT.
I have a problem with this.
If only Jake Tapper had a Final Solution to this Jewish Problem.
statement of fact: in the same day james von brunn and rush limbaugh claimed the prez is not a us citizen.
If Obama is controlled by the Jews, and Rev. Wright preaches to the Obamas, does this mean that the reverend is a rabbi?
@Vewol Mevemont: Your logic is irrefutable.
I am a Jew who is a member of the ZOG. We do not control Obama- we do not have to - he is one of us-formerly one of our great hidden leaders-now he is the leader of the WORLD(and a number of planets- but I digress). The whole Muslin/birth certificate thing was started by Lord Obama to throw you off -so no one would suspect a man of Kansan and Kenyan ancestry of being a Jew. Wasn’t there a seder at the White House- hmmm?? How about Rahm Emmanuel(catch the last name if you please) as his chief of staff. I mean, how many more clues do we have to give you people? OY, GOYIM- get with it!
The POTUS is controlled by the Jews? Really? How ironic Mr. Tapper, please tell us about your boss, Mr. Bob Iger.
jetjaguar: I also heard Jake Tapper has, like, thirty goddamn dicks.
DagNabbit: Primo cut jew-dicks, yo.
Is Jake Tapper saying that it must be true because evidence is mounting?
FormerDCite: Ironically, this wouldn’t be a problem if ol’ Walt Disney was still alive.
finallyhappy: What do you mean by “you people”?
finallyhappy: Thanks for the updata; the ZOG lost my e-mail address.
You spin me wright jew baby wright jew like tapper now…
Vewol Mevemont: If you don’t know, you are one of them.
What I want to know is how Jews manage to find the time to control banking, the world government AND the entertainment industry and still make it to synagogue. I don’t even have time do my laundry most weeks and I only have one job!
Where’s that ginger girl from Kids in the Hall?
statement of fact: Jake Tapper’s existence begs the question Why isn’t Jake Tapper locked up in a Rhode Island Dept of Retaahdation facility?
Also, not a homophone but has anyone here yet insulted Jake Tapper by calling him Jake Fapper?
In the future I will refer to him only as Jake Fapper and hope I can persuade our Wonkette Overlords to do the same. And by persuade I mean write the previous sentence, because that’s as much as I care about Jake Fapper.
Country Club Jihadi: I think is Jewsie and the Potuscats
Harvey Birdman: I don’t know, but until Tapper gets 30 Helens to agree on it, I don’t think it counts as a fact.
DagNabbit: Dag nabbit! I missed your comment.
Cicada: Ha Ha No worries. I am just glad someone else has nightmares with George Washington’s silhouette covered in shadow dongs in them.
Statement of fact: Both Jack Trapper and Bill Clinton put a dick in Monica Lewinsky’s mouth.
problemwithcaring: But the one Tapper inserted WASN’T HIS OWN!!!!!!eleventyone!!!!!!!!
Didn’t Obama have cheese on his burger with socialist Dijon mustard? If the Jews really control him, wouldn’t they want him to keep his meat and dairy apart? These Zionists have got to get a better handle on this.
What Jake failed to mention was that the Jews control EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ELSE TOO DUH, so his statement was basically the equivalent of saying “both James von Brunn and Rev Wright agree that President Obama is a mammal”.
Dear Barry,
If you will send Jake Tapper to Gitmo and have him waterboarded by Rahm, I will take one of the detainees in return. He can stay in the guest bedroom and walk the dog while I am at work.
We won’t even have to get the permission of the Queen.
Sincerely,
Holding Out for a Hero!
Hydrogen Barackside Hussein Obama is a radical Muslin terrist controlled by the Zionist Jews. Amen.
Jake: and your point is…
…Oh, the poor folks hate the rich folks,
And the rich folks hate the poor folks.
All of my folks hate all of your folks,
Its american as apple pie.
But during national brotherhood week, national brotherhood week,
New yorkers love the Puerto Ricans ’cause its very chic.
Step up and shake the hand
Of someone you can’t stand.
You can tolerate him if you try.
Oh, the Protestants hate the Catholics,
And the Catholics hate the Protestants,
And the Hindus hate the Moslems,
And everybody hates the Jews.
–Tom Lehrer, 1965
My blame my dad, a black jew.
DagNabbit: Wait: you don’t wish that he was your dad?
In other news, both James von Brunn and Rev. Wright have claimed the sky is up.
And by the way Jake, you know, when you’re posting these little twits? Here’s a good idea - have a POINT! It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!
Statement of fact: Who is Jake Tapper?
Statement of Fact: Everyone agrees Rev. Wright eats monkey balls. At least he doesn’t shoot people.
Jacob Paul “Jake” Tapper
Censorship Galore
ABC Propaganda
AIPAC’s Israel-first, dual-nationals:
Extortion Blackmail Bribery.
Federal Reserve liars.
911 liars.
From HuffPo Rev. Wright now claims he misspoke. He meant ZIONISTS instead of Jews.
So there.
Circada, DagNabbit: “He’s coming, he’s coming, he’s coming…”
Statement of fact: Tapper? I hardly knew her!
OK so bring me up to speed here…
Obama=Fascist/Socialist
Muslin/Jew
Coke/Pepsi
Less Filling/Tastes Great
are there any other nonsensical contradictions in fact I am missing, Jake Tapper?
And where are the homosexuals to comment that they would, and I quote “hit that”? No one wants to tap the tapper?
OK so bring me up to speed here…
Obama=Fascist/Socialist
Muslin/Jew
Coke/Pepsi
Less Filling/Tastes Great
are there any other nonsensical contradictions in fact I am missing, Jake Tapper?
And where are the homosexuals to comment that they would, and I quote, “hit that”? No one wants to tap the tapper?
Hopey dont play that game:
“Baby You’re A Rich Man” by the Beatles
For us olds, remember how John was supposedly slammin’ (figuratively) Brian Epstein when he sang at the fade-out:
“Baby, you’re a bitch fag Jew”?
Jake Tapper ought to hook-up (literally) with this dudette:
http://annsnewfriend.wordpress.com/2009/06/08/obama-is-a-celebrity/
sorry about the double post. my internet service blows.
I want to party with Jake’s parents.
Best name ever.
Bet when he went a party in college his friends would say ‘hey Jake, Tapper? Not yet.’
Fact: Jake Tapper will cry when the Jews who run his media company bounce his bitch ass out of there when his contract comes up for negotiation. Have fun at Fox, Jakey.
Everyone of that generation was a racist/anti-semitic.
Even zionists of that age.
Teh olds. hummmm
That is how they roll, man.
Ever get a joke email from an olds?
All their jokes are racist-anti-semitic-anti feminist-anti butt secs.
american mutt:
I blame him too, mutt.
JIM NEWELL! GREAT POST!
Obama is the next Hitler. And Hiltler doesn’t like the Jews. And when Obama was in Europe he doing visits of Holocost sites as part of his planning exercise to produce the master transcended race.
Fact: It is incredible reporting instincts like this that have made Jack Tapper the star reporter that he is.
You know Jack, while your logic is infallible, I don’t think your theory will get you out of those parking tickets in DC Metro Court.
Update: Wright Says He Didn’t Criticize All Jews – Just Rahm and the owners of Hebrew National and the World Bank
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/11/AR2009061104139.html
It’s a fact that you heard it, a fact they they said it
A fact that you wrote it, a fact that I read it
It’s true, precise, not false, exact
May not mean nothin’
but it’s a fact - The guru Kalehuru
I LOVE IT! Obama USED to be a Kenyan Mulsim Christian Hippie Militant Communist Socialist Facist Nazi. NOW he’s a Jew Puppet Kenyan Mulsim Christian Hippie Militant Communist Socialist Facist Nazi. He’s a smorgasbord of evil!
Statement of fact: Rahm is a Jew.
Statement of fact: Jews have hair. Well except Phil Spector.
Statement of fact: Obama has hair.
So Obama is a Jew?
Fact- My high school VP principal in the late ‘60 was Rev. Wright’s mom(this is not a joke- any Girls High girls out there?). The whole hate Jews thing I get- everyone hates us- but “THEM JEWS”? Rev. Wright- your mom was an academic magnet HS VP- it is “THOSE JEWS”. The whole street talk thing is a bad. And Rev- if you are dumb enough to think Barack doesn’t know enough to stay away from you- your poor mom(maybe she is not alive to see this) is triply upset.
Hmm. I thought it was the meddling Jedis. Close enough I guess.