NEW STUDY PROVES IT  3:00 pm June 11, 2009

Obama *Almost* More Popular Than Nazi Pope & Multi-Racial Golfing Star Combined

by Ken Layne

I'll Jack U off.Well, Barack Obama has failed again. The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined, according to an idiotic new study which also revealed that 5% of Americans want to meet and have their topless picture taken with teevee’s Hannah Montana.

According to the important Fox News poll of regular Americans, 42% of them want to meet and take sexy photographs with Barack Obama, while 22% want the same pornography to occur with Tiger Woods, the crippled golfer, and 21% want sexytime with the evil scum-sucking Nazi pope. ADD THAT UP, those two last ones, and it’s clear that Barack Obama is not as popular as the Pope and Tiger combined, jesus why doesn’t this guy just resign already, FAIL.

Or, maybe not, as the Crucial New Study has a 3% margin of error, plus anyone who willingly takes part in some jackass telephone poll like this should not be heard, or allowed to live on Earth, and that includes the 1% of respondents who bothered to take part in the survey and had no answer.

Obama twice as popular as Pope Benedict, Tiger Woods [The Hill]

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Doglessliberal June 11, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Imagine how Hopey would have done if HE were the one wearing the red Prada loafers instead of Pope Ratso Rizzo.

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2009 at 3:14 pm

I’m amazed that 21% of the population wants to be anywhere near Pope Nosferatu. His sunken eyes and ghoulish smile are almost as frightening as his antedeluvian worldview.

rev_matt_y June 11, 2009 at 3:17 pm

I’m pretty sure that the 1% who took part but had no answer did, in fact, have an answer. Just not one printable in a family paper. Because I know if I were asked to take part in a public opinion poll and was asked that question my answer would be along the lines of “What the fuck kind of moron question is that? Are you seriously asking me this and not apologizing for being a waste of precious natural resources? Allocating your dwindling research resources to anti-informative douchebag crap like this is why you are all going bankrupt, you nuclear weasel penis. Go die, fucktard.”

Or something along those lines.

Joshua Norton June 11, 2009 at 3:18 pm

He’s hawt! I’m sure the wingnut combovers with their garbage guts hanging over their belts go into fits of foaming every time they see that picture.

And please, if you ever come across picture of the pope topless, never EVER show it to us.

CivicHoliday June 11, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Tiger Woods and Nazi Pope combined? So what…he’d wear a tall hat, red shoes, and ride around in a plexiglass-enclosed golf cart while chanting the rosary on a set of nine irons?? Mmmm, I’d love to get me somma dat…

Mild Midwesterner June 11, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Don’t pollsters only call landlines? Wouldn’t that mean that only the old & infirmed actually answer these questions?

slappypaddy June 11, 2009 at 3:19 pm

21% of me wants to meet and look at sexy pictures of hannah montana, while 32% of me wants to hide from police and parents for wanting to look at sexy pictures of an underage girl, and 41% of me wants to flee in terror from that california girl what’s her name carrie prejean i think, who looks like some nerdy robot designer’s idea of what pretty and sexy maybe oughtta wanna be if blood were iced machine oil, and somewhere between 17% and 51% of me is a margin of error. do i win something?

wheelie June 11, 2009 at 3:21 pm

I presume Fox News is going with “58% of people refuse Obama meet.”

mrsixinch June 11, 2009 at 3:23 pm

[re=336990]rev_matt_y[/re]: Nuclear Weasel Penis. Man I remember seeing them in Berkeley years ago. Are they still performing?

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 11, 2009 at 3:24 pm

The so-called president isn’t quite as popular as Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger and Partially-African-American Nike model Tiger Woods combined:

Half-Pope, Half-African American, Half-Nazi, Half-Chinese. Good at marching and golfing. The cloning experiment must start immediately!

Mr Blifil June 11, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Now that she has more time on her schedule I am open to meeting Carrie Prejean. Before it would have been inconvenient.

Hooray For Anything June 11, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=336982]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, I’m amazed 22% of the people want to meet with Tiger Woods as he’s boring as hell.

magic titty June 11, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=337006]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Yes but this way they get to meet a sort-of black person without having to meet an entire black person.

finallyhappy June 11, 2009 at 3:39 pm

No one called me- I don’t want to meet Tiger or the Pope – who does? Old Golfers and older Catholics?. I do want to meet the Obama. My vote should count a lot because I am a lot better than the people they did call.

mrpuma2u June 11, 2009 at 3:46 pm

Ein Volk Ein Church Ein Pope!!

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2009 at 3:47 pm

[re=337006]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I’ve never really heard him talk. There’s probably a reason for that.

JadedDIssonance June 11, 2009 at 3:50 pm

The Pope and Tiger Combined would’ve committed suicide a long, long time ago. Ze Fuhrer Demands!

JMP June 11, 2009 at 3:51 pm

Why do these magazines always have to ask these stupid questions? How about just, “Which of these public figures do you like best,” instead of “Which of these figures would you rather have take the seat behind you on an afternoon Los Angeles-New York flight, on a Saturday in August, and have join you in making fun of the movie and complaining about the food?”

gurukalehuru June 11, 2009 at 3:52 pm

[re=337006]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Yeah, but his wife is smoking hot.

Lazy Media June 11, 2009 at 3:53 pm

People who like golf and people who like Ratzo = 100 percent overlap. Ken Layne MATH FAIL.

Me, I like math so much that I took Calculus IV THREE TIMES. In order to get a D.

Humpback June 11, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=336995]slappypaddy[/re]: Yes. You win a pie chart in the face.

Internally valid June 11, 2009 at 4:02 pm

At least two thirds of the 22% who said Tiger Woods think he’s the president, so I think Obama should get some of those points. Also, Catholics don’t count. Landslide!

wonderboom June 11, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Where’s Tiger’s birth certificate? Has this whole country gone crazy?!? Fuck.

Dean Booth June 11, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Yet another story about human-animal hybrids. Bush was right.

bago June 11, 2009 at 4:29 pm

[re=337050]Dean Booth[/re]: Bush was just afraid of the competition.

font9a June 11, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Seen on the wacko pro-hate site


Ye Seek, Ye Shall Find
First, let me comment that the current Anti-Christ Muslin Obama HUSSEIN Barak is a illegitamate joke who isn’t even president of USA. He is a black socialist who abortionist and exceeds taxation as it is written into the CONSTITUTION of THE US. HUSSEIN OBAMA is not fit to be Commander In Cheif and must be overthrown by someone with knowledge of the Constitution by Senate Approval and Impeachment (not likely with the pinko communist infiltratrors and fascists in government colluding behind our backs and taking away our SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS AS DEFINED IN THE ORIGINAL CONSTITUTION.

Second, I have to admit The jews are scourge of the nation of Whites everywhere. The threaten to inbreed our way of life and our values that respect pro-life, pro-guns, and pro-money. (If you aren’t buying all the GOLD away from the jews you need to start). Also. You need to restock all your foodstuffs and corn and wheat (not slant-eyed rice or mexican beans) and ammunition for the SECAND COMMING OF THE LORD. It will be a virtsual bloodbath and US CHRISTIANS must prepare for the raptore.

Mariah Sotomeerier is a convicted fascist socialist that is pro-abortion, pro-MEXICAN, pro-ILLEGAL, pro-AMNESTY and also a whore and a slut. She is also probably supposed to be an abortion but her parents were two stupid ignorant mexicans to do her.

Cheney is right. Rush is right. USA needs to stand up to CHINA to MAKE THE US DOLLAR THE CURRENCY before the UN makes CHINAs “zen” the official currencey of the world. And before it is too late. Also.


Man oh, man. That Obama is POPULAR with the Nazis, isn’t he?

– font9a

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 11, 2009 at 4:33 pm

The Pope released the following statement: “Da, the Pope and Tiger combining…., that would just be a silly fantasy that could never happen in this crazy, mixed-up world…, .”

Min June 11, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Where did they find the 21% who prefer the Pope? You know, ’cause he’s creepy.

font9a June 11, 2009 at 4:39 pm


(the “And before it is too late. Also” is absolutely 100% mine) (sic.)

EricSaeger June 11, 2009 at 4:45 pm

The 1% who “didn’t know” whom to take pics with, those are people of honor, refusing to be hypnotized by the mindless celebrity complex that keeps us from reviving Jacobinism and taking back the motherfucker. Bravissimo, my stouthearted plebs.
Oh never mind, Fox it says. They wanted to do it with the 14-year-old whore Letterman’s pimping out.

Lefty Lucy June 11, 2009 at 4:54 pm

Alt-text: Clearly Layne has a Dirty Mind.

Ohio Wonkette Fan June 11, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Wow, Hannah Montana; how cool!

horned_viper June 11, 2009 at 5:01 pm

I want to know why only old farts get to be pope. And male. And white. Old farty white men are hard to promote to today’s youth.

populucious June 11, 2009 at 5:08 pm

It’s also a KNOWN FACT, deeply buried by the Liberal Media Elitists, that Barack Obama received 0% (or ZERO) of the votes on American Idol. When will the Impeachment begin?????

PsycGirl June 11, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Is the Tiger Wood/ Pope combination really a threesome? If so, NO NO NO. If it were an Obama/Pope threesome, I would vote yes if the pope could be sent to get snacks and beers and then wait outside.

Bronkers June 11, 2009 at 6:24 pm

[re=337117]Lefty Lucy[/re]: And that is news?

Messrs. Layne ‘n’ Newell: Youse guys jes’ keep using that swimsuit pic o’ POTUS regularly so’s my spirits (euphemism employed) can take a mini-moment vacay from my wretched work day.

Thankee kindly.

Lefty Lucy June 12, 2009 at 8:22 am

[re=337237]Bronkers[/re]: The point was that Layne is familiar with the early (best) work of the Minnesota Monarch.

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