Ha ha oh jeez is it a sign of insanity when something Michele Bachmann says actually makes sense? Here’s the deal: the “unsinkable” Titanic sprung a leak and then its “three chambers” filled with water and it was TOO LATE and all the poors drowned while Kate Winslet (spoiler alert!) survived, barely. Similarly, the economy has sprung a leak and we will all die because of Barack Obama. Ya dig??? [Our Beloved C-SPAN]

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  1. But the ship was sinking during the Johnson years, and the Ford year, and the Carter years, and Reagan years, and the Bush years, and the Clinton years, and the Bush years, and the Barry years.

    So basically what the fuck is she talking about…?

  2. After her speech about the Titanic, Michelle Bachmann attempted to return to her deck chair, only to discover that the GOP had moved it to the other side of the promenade.

  3. That image is very disturbing, Michele. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history, four blocks away, that we should never forget, but no, you should not use the word “deconstruction.” Because you are decidedly not Derridian.

  4. With her palm wiping down through all the hot air in the House chamber, I was wishing the chamber weren’t quite so large, and that the air outside today were a little colder, and the camera a little closer to the action. Her “Titanic” metaphor would thus have been complete. And sexy and comical, also.

  5. [re=336748]magic titty[/re]: Apparently the entire right wing has been sleeping for, at least, the past 8 years. I find their new-found interest in the economy and the Constitution rather touching, but entirely unconvincing.

  6. and all the poors drowned while Kate Winslet (spoiler alert!) survived, barely.
    By basically acting the child, refusing to get on the boat and thus consigning poor Jack to a short and chilly future as a popsicle-in-training (after she conveniently drained him of his precious manly essence) just so she float around, lording it over the poors, on her ultra posh headboard.
    So Michelle Bachmann as that murderous bitch makes all the sense in the world.

  7. I am really glad that I entered the “What is the Best Pop Culture Metaphor for This Sinking Ship We’re On” essay contest! I look forward to sitting with Senator Bachmann and her family in box seats at the Rahowa/Toby Keith concert.

  8. I, for one, support the deconstruction of our free market economist.

    And, personally, I think all policy should be set by what ever movie happens to be on TNT on the weekend. I can’t wait for Congressperson Bachmann’s discussion of what this land would be like if it was in fact a world where apes descended from man.

  9. [re=336758]proudgrampa[/re]: Interestingly, I was thinking Never Had No One Ever by The Smiths:

    “Now I’m outside your house
    I’m alone
    And I’m outside your house…”

    [re=336762]jagorev[/re]: Objectively speaking, he might have been the worst president has ever had. Even though he was indeed, a god among men.

  10. It’s the Flying Imams and the Free-Market Economists that our country floats upon in the exact sort of manner that the good ship Titanic didn’t.

  11. You must do me this honor, Michelle. Promise me you’ll survive. That you won’t give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless. Promise me now, Michelle, and never let go of that promise….never let go

  12. Shelly, stick to inspiring rightwing terrorists, you’re better at it….actually don’t, suck a bushel of uncircumcised cocks instead.

  13. I can’t help but suspect that the pages and staffers who work on the floor groan and giggle silently to themselves every time she steps up to the microphone ’cause they know some special brand of batshit crazy will spill from her lips.

  14. I think in this metaphor the GOP is the ship, cold hard reality is the iceberg, and a group of cows in Arizona are the band playing as the ship sinks. Cows like music.

  15. Needs more “sieg heil” hand-gestures.

    The ongoing trashing of the nation’s fiscal balance by the GOP every time it gets its tentacles on its purse-strings – & the Dems’ cleaning it up afterwards – is central to her point.

    Now if she’d compared the REPUBLICANS to the Titanic, I’d say Obama should consider trading Specter for her – the Democrats just don’t have nearly enough cred with the batshit-insane demographic & she could help them with that. A lot.

  16. [re=336769]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I can’t wait for Congressperson Bachmann’s discussion of what this land would be like if it was in fact a world where apes descended from man.

    Also known as “Activities In My Home District”

  17. What did she say about “Gash”? “Ice Gash”? The Titanic was sank by a giant “Ice Gash”?! What are we doing about these Terrorist Ice Gashes?!!!

  18. Whatevah that quacking loon sez: it’s teh opposite. I think Bachman-on-overdrive is having make-sexy-time fantasies about Somali pirates engorging her lady-bits, which is why she was shrieking out: Heavenly father! it’s TITANIC!!11!!

  19. Michelle? r u listening? The correct metaphor for our economy is the hilarious antics of McGruver on SNL. As the clock tics away, his companions urge him to quickly take action to solve the crisis. But, the feeble chap fritters away the precious seconds indulging in some narcissictict( possible spelling error), and alas fails to save the day ant kabooy they all die in a huge firey explosion.
    If you need help figuring out which character is a metaphor for who and or whatever let me know.

  20. To summarize Rep. Bachmann’s important Congressional address: Last weekend she and her family saw a commercial movie involving an ice gash. The deconstruction of free-market economist can and must be solved next quarter!

  21. The Titanic sank on her maiden voyage.

    The post-depression economy survived two world wars and 11 presidents before the batshit-crazy religotards took over and set fire to the whole fucking treasury in their crusade to kill brown people.

  22. [re=336794]sheldy13[/re]: “gash”, “this body”, this speech has it all! And did she say “free market economisss”? Seriously, what was she trying to say? “free market economists”? “free market economies”? More than one?

  23. It’s always amusing when they sneak a shot of the chambers in and you can see that it’s really just about five guys in the room when they do this stuff.

  24. Strangely, I agree with Michelle here, at least to the extent that our troubles can all be traced back to the filthy Irish, somehow.

  25. [re=336827]rmontcal[/re]: Also, why did she call it a “commercial movie”? Do people in Minnesota talk like that? Like when referring to a Coke as “pop” or saying “oh yeah, youbethca”?

  26. when I get really stoned I can make metaphorical comparisons with things as disparate as toenails and driving too fast. you know what I mean?

  27. [re=336828]Balls![/re]: To win with these types you really just have to squeeze the ever-livin’ shit out of the obvious. Better luck next time, chum.

  28. Congresswoman, I served with Molly Brown: I knew Molly Brown; The unsinkable Molly Brown was a friend of mine. Congresswoman, you’re no Molly Brown.

    -Lloyd Bentsen

  29. I thought Michelle would be too busy running the Holy Western Empire Web site now that’s it’s former owner is incapacitated.

  30. [re=336833]Internally valid[/re]: Yeah but they never catch her in the act of pulling a train, which is the price she has to pay for being allowed to enter the Congressional record.

  31. Pearl Necklace Bachmann clearly knows nothing…the iceberg tore through five compartments not three. Has she never seen Titanic? Why is Barack Obama denying her the right to see the movie?

  32. Who cares what she is rambling on about!!! There are seriously, only four or five people in that enormous room…..what a joke!!!!!!

  33. Well, suppose she wants to base her tirades on … I dunno … Master and Commander or Gone with the Wind or something … how does she cast it then?

  34. Actually, it’s more like Captain Bushmonkey hit the iceberg because he was drunk and sailing too fast, then, as the Titanic began to sink, he retired for a life of golfing and child literature while the crew elected a new captain who had to patch all the leaks and build enough lifeboats before they were all sucking salt water.

    Just sayin’, bitch.

  35. The zombie aspects of Bachmann are the scariest; the mouth is flapping at 90 mph, yet her eyes remain utterly dead. I keep looking for the strings attached to her wrists, the performance is so puppetlike. The only other people I have seen with the same disparity of expression were cult members.

  36. [re=336914]qwerty42[/re]: If she’s going to continue basing political speeches based on movies that she watches over the weekend, we could only hope she goes to see “the Hangover.”

  37. Interesting she calls it “the commercial movie,” as opposed to what? I’m guessing most of her teevee viewing is Jeebus videos produced by various wingnut churches, so she has to explain what she’s talking about when she’s referring to any other sort of moving pitchers.

  38. [re=336963]PrairiePossum[/re]: “started watching”? AYK? She’s a right-wing Christian. She probably writes, directs and acts in it!

  39. Well we know she wont be comparing hopey to Aladdin because she banned that movie in her charter school because it promoted witchcraft and paganism. Yeah Michele, you republicans had nothing to do with the exploding debt, with your tax cuts for rich, bloated military budgets that now equal the rest of the world combined, or your adventures in wars of choice. Yeah that silly Iraq war hardly cost anything. What was the national debt when Jimmy Carter left office again???

  40. Tell me Tinkerbelle is going to take out this whack job in the next election. She’s funny, but as Grassley would put it “enuf”.

  41. My family last weekend saw the commercial movie “Sink the Bismark!”; it took a shit load of naval ordinance to sink that Nazi toothpick…and it gave as good as it received, unlike Bachmann…

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