• May 26, 2012
LOSE TERRY LOSE

June 9, 2009

A Children’s Treasury Of Sadness On Virginia Voting Day

by Jim Newell  

Virginia sure is a hot ticket today! Ha ha, Terry McAuliffe’s a nut. Let’s check out a few more photos our lovely Virginia operatives sent in of the most important local Democratic gubernatorial primary since Doug Duncan went insane and dropped out against Martin O’Malley in Maryland in 2006!!!!!

WAIT, FIRST, WONKETTE WEATHER ALERT: No one in DC should EVER leave work EVER because there is a HURRICANE outside again and we just hear shit blowin’ up and shit.

Anyway.

Hooray, someone paid attention to Sara’s advice on your male associate editor’s behalf and voted for the “country lawyer” Creigh Deeds, who is a nice guy and may like guns and stuff a bit too much but whatever, who doesn’t? More importantly: “Vote for not more than one” — ?? Sonia Sotomayor clearly wrote this robot machine text.

Henrico County: where Indian slaves still work the tobacco fields.

Anyone else see what’s going on above? Yes! The Empire has discovered Virginia!

{ 27 comments }

facehead June 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

Does this make McAuliffe Jar Jar Binks?

RoscoePColtraine June 9, 2009 at 5:37 pm

There must not have been a black guy to vote against. Or fags trying to win the right to drive cars or somesuch.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 9, 2009 at 5:38 pm

I’m not sure how, but somehow this is a victory for gay marriage.

SayItWithWookies June 9, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Great. They must’ve put a tracking beacon on the Millennium Falcon. I knew that was too easy.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 9, 2009 at 5:42 pm

[re=335235]facehead[/re]: And I thought he smelt bad on the outside.

Inadequate Blackmail June 9, 2009 at 5:45 pm

You know, if you fold that sticker the right way, you can see that Indian maiden’s Virginia.

Scrodd June 9, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Heh, you losers are stuck with computerized Diebold machines. Now I know I won’t be surprised when C. Montgomery Burns wins the primary later this evening.

Mr Blifil June 9, 2009 at 5:46 pm

This thunder storm is playing havoc with my Craig’s List adult services appointments. I don’t even think the Metro is safe.

Johnny Zhivago June 9, 2009 at 5:47 pm

How the hell could McAulliffe lose to some moran?

bitchincamaro June 9, 2009 at 5:47 pm

This ain’t over until it’s spun six ways to Sunday by Tweetie at 106 decibals.

mrpuma2u June 9, 2009 at 5:55 pm

If blogging is all you care about then that is what you will recieve.

shortsshortsshorts June 9, 2009 at 5:57 pm

[re=335235]facehead[/re]: Oh the memories!
http://whatthecrap.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/jar-ron-paul-1.jpg

hobospacejunkie June 9, 2009 at 5:57 pm

I feel so left out, living in Texas and all, where no carpetbagger would dare run for W’s old job, and no Democrat has a chance in hell in the general so who cares about their silly primary? Plus I’m assuming VA’s guv has real power, unlike Texaseseses’.

mpslim June 9, 2009 at 6:04 pm

Hey…no fair!!! Henrico County has really nice “I Voted” stickers. All we get up here in Northern Cali is a lame generic oval sticker from the Oriental Trader catalogue. No oppressed Native Americans or Miner 49ers for us. Why should I even bother voting now that I know about Henrico’s deluxe sticker give-away.

19kevin8 June 9, 2009 at 6:04 pm

That headline sure is fuckin’ poetic, Jim. Too bad the rest of your post couldn’t quite live up to that.

Texan Bulldoggette June 9, 2009 at 6:05 pm

[re=335265]hobospacejunkie[/re]: But the Kay Bailey/Rick Perry smack down will be good for some laughs. See who can veer most RW crazy (Rick is winning that battle hands down) & pretend to be a moderate for the general. I hear Kinky is running again–meh, what else has he got to do? But, yeah, we’re fucked.

chascates June 9, 2009 at 6:06 pm

‘Vote for not more than one’ is much easier to under stand than ‘choose one only.’

Josh Fruhlinger June 9, 2009 at 6:17 pm

JAAAAHHHHHHHHBBBBBBBS

Min June 9, 2009 at 6:22 pm

“Who is the greater fool…the fool or the fool who votes for him?”

thefrontpage June 9, 2009 at 6:29 pm

Is this for Arlington County Sheriff, or Henrico District Court Clerk?

Can I vote if I don’t live in Virginia?

shortsshortsshorts June 9, 2009 at 6:31 pm

[re=335282]Josh Fruhlinger[/re]: TEEEXXXXXXTTTTTT

twork June 9, 2009 at 6:49 pm

Is it just me, or does the yellow Virginia make it look like “McAuliffe” is on fire?

pat robertsons personal trainer June 9, 2009 at 6:53 pm

[re=335265]hobospacejunkie[/re]: i care enough about the primary to switch sides just to vote against rick “pray away the gay, but keep the hair” perry. kay bailey nutchison, c’mon down, you old stupid bitch. your tits each have a higher IQ than the last two guys to hold this office (combined).

by the way and this cannot be said enough: the 2010 Texas Gubernatorial Republican Primary will be a choice between: (1) former Texas A&M cultmember and Aggie Yell (“male cheer”) Leader, Rick Perry and (2) former Texas Longhorn Cheerleader (1914-17) Kay Bailey Hutchison. Thus, in Texas, you have an infinitely better chance of becoming governor if during your college days, you dressed up in make-believe outfits and yelled at crowds of fat white people* than if you had you become a doctor, lawyer, successfully run a business, etc. this actually makes A LOT of sense.

*fat white people who hate taxes, public schools, black people, and exercise but love public university sports teams composed almost entirely of black people.

bhosp June 9, 2009 at 6:59 pm

Those McAuliffe signs are full of sadness and lies:

(1) You can tell Terry’s a carpet-bagger because he has to put a picture of VA on his sign. That’s because he’s insecure and he thinks you’ll think he doesn’t know what state he’s in. (He’s right.)
(2) “Paid for by friends of Terry McAuliffe”? He doesn’t have any friends.

Snuggles McButterworth June 9, 2009 at 7:50 pm

538 is calling it for Deeds.

Suds McKenzie June 9, 2009 at 8:15 pm

can Terry now take over the Ahmadinejad campaign?

humble pinko June 10, 2009 at 2:26 pm

[re=335290]thefrontpage[/re]: Apparently you can run for governor if you don’t live in Virginia, so I don’t see why not.

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