Wonkette
Hmm, what is this mysterious image? Is it the famous Flesh Monster of Crystal City, lumbering toward an empty polling location? Nope it is just the wrist of friendly tipster “Ben H.,” who was assaulted by a giant mosquito on the way to the polls. “A huge DC swamp mosquito drank like 2 pints of my blood — maybe he wanted to vote too? — I tried to take his picture but as you can see from my bugless wrist there he flew away when I tried.” This is a metaphor, of course, for America.
Ben also notes, “As you can see, no one wants to vote in Crystal City. These pictures were taken around noon. As a comparison, at 5:45 AM on Nov. 4, there were people lined up about 100 feet outside of that door; there are like three rooms between you and your ballot, once you get in that door. There was literally no one in there to vote, except for me, and there were 5-6 old people there to help them vote and give them stickers and stuff.”
This is why we still have old people in our country: to hand out “I Voted” stickers.
Try to top the sadness of this report. You cannot.
This is why November elections must be held at the Crystal City Restaurant!
This is why we still have old people in our country: to hand out “I Voted” stickers.
That, and to make Soylent Green.
Wow, even the mosquitoes have given up on us. Truly, we are doomed.
Dumb
Hey, I was actually in Crystal City over the weekend. It was for an advertising award show, and we, seriously, made Bob Garfield tell us all to “Shut the fuck up”. /personal shit
Haha used to live there, the Crystal Plaza Apartments. The freakishly in shape Aryan lifeguards at the pool probably scared the voters away. I swear to God, the only words of english they knew was “Pool Pass?”
What building was that, a post office or a convenience store? It looks like a particularly bad example of that 70s urban bunker style that architects preferred in order to (1) look like the future and (2) hide in if the brown people rioted again.
I was in Crystal City once. I recall something about Meth?
Nobama | Nosquito 2012!
AnnieGetYourFun: and be greeters at Wal Mart!
This has got to be the saddest post I have ever read.
Ben H wouldn’t be attacked by flying monsters if he’d just stayed at Denny’s.
Isn’t “creighdeeds” a sexually-transmitted disease?
Or a type of salamander?
I always keep mosquitos at bay by pulling out a camera. Leicas work best.
I voted in Falls Church, 3pm-ish. I was the only one in the entire place. The old people seemed very happy to see me. Except for the one in the corner, asleep in his chair.
I will be glad to vote in your election although I do not live in your state.
Mickey “acorn” Mouse
It is a rare partial glimpse of a hairless furry.
Deepthroat: isn’t that a strip joint? i never went in. i’m too classy for places like that.
that’s why i spent my time at freddie’s.
This is such bullshit. What about MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!
AnnieGetYourFun: No, Soylent Green is the backup plan for later this year. And pets (aka Soylent Fur).