Jim Newell Told This Guy To Vote For Creigh Deeds

Hmm, what is this mysterious image? Is it the famous Flesh Monster of Crystal City, lumbering toward an empty polling location? Nope it is just the wrist of friendly tipster "Ben H.," who was assaulted by a giant mosquito on the way to the polls. "A huge DC swamp mosquito drank like 2 pints of my blood -- maybe he wanted to vote too? -- I tried to take his picture but as you can see from my bugless wrist there he flew away when I tried." This is a metaphor, of course, for America.

Ben also notes, "As you can see, no one wants to vote in Crystal City. These pictures were taken around noon. As a comparison, at 5: 45 AM on Nov. 4, there were people lined up about 100 feet outside of that door; there are like three rooms between you and your ballot, once you get in that door. There was literally no one in there to vote, except for me, and there were 5-6 old people there to help them vote and give them stickers and stuff."

This is why we still have old people in our country: to hand out "I Voted" stickers.

Try to top the sadness of this report. You cannot.