Wonkette
Once or twice a year, we give in and post a “humor” video because it is just that good. (This means you can still keep not sending us links to the Daily Show, Colbert, Tina Fey, etc.) So, enjoy this “Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny’s” segment, which is just tragic and true.
You mean the Secret Service actually let him go to a Denny’s?!?
The first thing I noticed at the airport when returning from a recent lengthy trip overseas was, my god, they are all wearing sweatpants!
“A pound of eggs”. This I know to be true.
If anything, the video downplays the true horror of visiting a Denny’s. Especially at 3 a.m.
I don’t see the humor — I thought it was a serious news piece.
Min: Hell, you mean Denny’s actually served him??
To quote Drew Carey, “You never plan to go to a Denny’s, you end up at a Denny’s.”
Min: And where was the Secret Service when that hambeast is standing too close to Obama? I thought Barry was going to wind up eaten after the guy first covered him in butter and syrup.
A Denny’s meal has that side-effect of making you painfully aware of the here and now.
I HAZ GREAT CAT HUMOUR VID FOR YOOS PEOPLES. HARR HARR CHEK IT OWT.
Maybe he should try IHOP. Erp.
Servo: So true! Win!
Denny’s does not stock the Grey Poupon.
I wonder how many times Obama has actually thought those things
Sorry, but Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force is more influentual than Obama .. as it should be.
After a visit to the neighboring Wal-Mart, Obama then lowered his expectations of the American people to, quote, “Schiavo-level.”
Hm, the mother too harshly referred to her crying infant, otherwise quite humorous.
Fuck you all. I have yet to get moneiez to remove my Tweety tattoo.
Next stop on the Rude Awakening Express: a Tractor Supply Co.
Monsieur Grumpe: I once saw a wedding reception at an IHOP . The blushing bride finally married her baby daddy and was supported by her obviously meth addicted friend. There was much sexual innuendo about teabags and pancakes. That was the night I gave up hope for America.
Can’t say as I would blame him, since about 15% of Murkins (and 100% of Reel Murkins/Sarah Palin’s voting bloc) are convinced that he’s a argulua-and-dijon-eating gay-married Indonesian half-breed Muslin UFO terrorist who kan’t reed without telleprmptrs and forged his birth certificate.
Someday Barry’s gonna have a press conference in the East Room that goes something like this: “Dear Murikans: I told you “I got this”, but apparently you are so deranged that you have a black Preznit that you don’t care. Therefore, please eat this large bag of dicks as I resign and hand everything over to Joe Biden. Love, Barry.”
Wait… where’s the humor video? All I’m getting is a depressingly accurate news report about what a bunch of losers we’ve all become in America.
ONN has a great followup video about whether or not video games are preparing our children properly for our post-apocalyptic future. The good news is that the ignorant fatties will die quickly in any catastrophy. The bad news is that the rivers will run yellow with their dissolving fatty tissue. Major environmental disaster.
I gave up hope a few days ago when that giant beast cut that baby out of her Craigslist friend. If anyone needs a “Twinkie Defense”, it’s her.
Every day I am seeing more and more of the huge animal-human hybrids. At what point do people explode from eating this crap?
proudgrampa: Well, yeah, after all the white people were seated and got their food. Denny’s is good that way.
Seriously, I have eaten at Denny’s occasionally and have NEVER left thinking “Well, that was pretty good”.
Little known fact: if you read the first letters of all the Denny’s menu items, it spells “I CANT BELIEVE YOURE EATING HERE YOU DUMBASS”
can’t we solve the energy problem by harvesting fat people? two birds, one stone.
I wish The Onion would return to satire and leave the serious news to someone else. David Denby, perhaps.
It the America of innovation… like how to cook meth in the back of a pick-up, accuse the government of being too socialist while on welfare, and vote republican even though you make minimum wage and will never benefit from GOP policies.
proudgrampa: Well played, sir.
Our problems are solved with two words: Soylent green.
Presumably all the people in the Manassas Denny’s are the same ones who aren’t voting today.
Dennys: only appropriate if it’s 3 am and you’re too high to turn on your oven to make pie.
But the Daily Show was truly inspired yesterday.
Oh no! Im too fat to ride my hoverboard!
true story: on vacation from our compound in canuckistan, our family visited a Friendly’s in America and my little brother said very loudly WHY IS EVERYBODY FAT HERE? He was then grabbed by a hundred chubby hands and dragged screaming into the kitchen, presumably made into a sundae