• May 26, 2012

Bristol and Levi’s ‘The Real World’ Coming Soon To MTV

by Ken Layne  


Let’s see, what do we talk about around here all the time now? Teen pregnancy, and MTV’s The Real World in Washington. Here’s a new show coming up on that very same network, but it’s about the real Real World, for Americans, which is “you get knocked up in high school” and … well, that’s about it. Unless you’re Sarah Palin’s babydaughter, generally you are never heard from again, because you will be a cashier at Food 4 Less or whatever, part time. Anyway, ignore the Target commercial at the beginning here and enjoy this tragic promo for MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, directed by our old pal Morgan J. Freeman.

{ 38 comments }

problemwithcaring June 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm

I don’t even watch network TV anymore – if it’s not a reality TV or premium cable show, I am pretty much sure it won’t contain enough misery, blood and gore to hold my attention.

SayItWithWookies June 8, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Just as tax cuts were almost able to fix the economy, this disastrous pregnancy situation will be remedied if we only stay the course with more abstinence education.

BillyClubb June 8, 2009 at 5:27 pm

I’d much rather see Bristol, Levi, or Sara on another of MTV’s shows: Bully Beat Down.

OzoneTom June 8, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=334372]BillyClubb[/re]: Or better yet, Sarah!

RoscoePColtraine June 8, 2009 at 5:33 pm

The squirrel eaters of this great country have a level of godly wisdom the rest of us can only marvel at. The good lord made the 13-14-15 year old human female fertile for a reason and who’s going to argue with that? He separated the day from the night so you know when it’s sexytime. Also.

natoslug June 8, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Music videos were a helluva lot better in the eighties.

Hooray For Anything June 8, 2009 at 5:37 pm

I wonder if there’ll be an episode where the mother pretends it’s her baby so as not to make wingnuts think her family is anything less than wholesome.

you cannot be serious June 8, 2009 at 5:43 pm

If you aren’t old enough to drive a car or buy beer, I suppose having babies would be a good way to pass the time.

lizard scum June 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm

This goes along with their other “scared straight” programming, i.e., Real World, the rest of their lineup.

ManchuCandidate June 8, 2009 at 5:48 pm

Morgan Freeman? WTF?

chascates June 8, 2009 at 5:49 pm

I hope the show points out that the GOP many of their families may support are against:
1. Contraception for teens
2. Abortion
3. State or Federal subsidies for child care, child health insurance, or Head Start programs

But at least the GOP is in favor of:
1. Fast track to military enlistment
2. Scorn for unwed mothers and their children
3. God is the answer

Scarab June 8, 2009 at 5:54 pm

These are the most generous girls on the planet… did you see the motley collection of teen fathers?

Vewol Mevemont June 8, 2009 at 6:05 pm

[re=334395]chascates[/re]: Since when is “scorn for unwed mothers and their children” part of the GOP platform. I think you’re confusing that principle for the more widely accepted “scorn for minorities and their goddamn children.” Remember: Welfare Queen vs. Saint of the pro-life movement.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 8, 2009 at 6:05 pm

And people say a meth addiction never pays off.

chascates June 8, 2009 at 6:08 pm

[re=334420]Vewol Mevemont[/re]: You’re right. There is no shortage of scorn from these values-oriented people.

Mike Steele June 8, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Alas, Levi was great at getting intercourse started, electively, but he had no withdrawal strategy.

S.Luggo June 8, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Awwww. Bristol’s kissing a meatloaf.

FormerDCite June 8, 2009 at 6:22 pm

With the true GOP platform, there would be no unwanted pregnancies. Having buttsects with 14 year-old boys while dressed as a panda is 99.9% guaranteed to not cause pregnancy.

Doglessliberal June 8, 2009 at 6:30 pm

A Target commercial actually seems apt, since it is a company that agreed to let its pharmacists refuse to sell birth control. No BC, more knocked up teens for teevee!

Doglessliberal June 8, 2009 at 6:31 pm

[re=334438]FormerDCite[/re]: and actually, real pandas having sex seem to have a 0% chance of pregnancy, at least at the National Zoo.

CivicHoliday June 8, 2009 at 7:13 pm

in no way should this show be seen as exploitative. pay no attention to the producers just out of camera range whispering, “c’mon, lets see a few more tears, honey…”

parenthood TV shows never go wrong, right? aren’t Jon and whasherface with their litter of ivf babies going on a second honeymoon or something?

daisy chain June 8, 2009 at 7:18 pm

Mine didn’t have a Targey commercial. It had a commercial for cotton and it was starring a black chick, which made me uncomfortable. But I’m southern.

FlipOffResearch June 8, 2009 at 7:32 pm

It reminds me of the beginning of the movie Idiocracy. Birth control by abstinence makes so much sense too, at least on paper.

Mad Farmer Manifest June 8, 2009 at 7:34 pm

I druther werk at Food 4 Less than take a gubbiment handout. You libruls are alays tryin to make life harder for familys with yer abortions and gun control.

putinontheritz June 8, 2009 at 7:40 pm

16 and Pregnant was a lifetime (life-changing time, more like) original movie starring Kirsten Dunst. I have no idea what this garbage is and I will not watch it. Why couldn’t they get Zac Effron? He desperately wants a baby. Harrumph.

Mad Farmer Manifest June 8, 2009 at 7:47 pm

OT, but I’m loving the Phillips Colon Health Ad. Perfect for Wonkette. “I makes teh buttsecks even better!”

AnnieGetYourFun June 8, 2009 at 8:06 pm

Images like this make me think that I really should start reproducing in order to counteract the sheer numbers of stupid people that are being brought into this world. And then I remember just how much I hate kids.

Mad Farmer Manifest June 8, 2009 at 8:15 pm

Does Mr. Freeman discuss the possibility of going stark raving mad from a decade of children interrupting your sleep? Because I’m almost fucking there. Still not sleep-deprived-crazy enough to vote Republican. I think that takes a bat to the head.

Hooray For Anything June 8, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=334482]FlipOffResearch[/re]: The intro beginning to Idiocracy is so prophetic the History Channel should spend hours examining whether it was written by Nostradamus, the ancient Mayans or the space alients who built stonehenge.

MGBYG June 8, 2009 at 8:18 pm

[re=334490]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: It is just other people’s kids we parents generally hate. My little darlings are just about perfect, ‘cept for the ones in prison. Just Kiddin’.

There has become a huge spread between Bristol’s legs, er, uh, between the biology of preggers and the social reality of it. I have an Aunt, knocked up and married, at 16, back in 1958, then raised a family of the proverbial doctors and lawyers many aspire to. I have a sister, never with child, and on her fourth marriage and 48th birthday. I really can’t see any “rules of thumb” except for caring and attentive parents, patience, and understanding.

(I am a fucking sap.)

MGBYG June 8, 2009 at 8:23 pm

[re=334494]Mad Farmer Manifest[/re]: When they sing “sprinkle gold dust in their hair” they are really talking about “diphenhydramine citrate in their food”…

Just Kiddin.

I had one of three who never figured out the 8-hours-at-a-time sleep thing until about age 4…fucked us up…maybe still. “Is this as good as it gets?”

hobospacejunkie June 8, 2009 at 9:08 pm

[re=334490]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: And then I remember just how much I hate kids.

I’m with you, Annie. Fortunately I met a woman who feels the same way (though hers is not total, she does like others’ kids, I have a hard time carving out a couple hours a year for my nieces & nephews.) So here we are at the cusp of middle age, worried about our cats, not how to pay for college or when Johnny’s gettin’ outta prison. I highly recommend our life choices.

Johnny Zhivago June 8, 2009 at 10:40 pm

Get that entire family – including Levi and Mercede – on a crab boat, give them lots of booze, guns and ammo, and tow them into the Bering Straight in a monoon during Opilio season.

That’s must see TV…

Johnny Zhivago June 8, 2009 at 10:44 pm

[re=334513]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Yikes, our kids aren’t so bad, its our freaking cats that are driving us to distraction!

Mr Blifil June 8, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Is it really asking too much for her to refrain from snorting blow off her own baby’s forehead?

Woodwards Friend June 8, 2009 at 11:15 pm

Really is it too much to ask that these little shits give up their bastard kids to mature, capable adoptive parents? The giant bitchy sea lion chick looks like awesome unintentional comedy, whereas also.

And this doesn’t exactly look like a representative cross-section of American teens. Do the Moon Pie-eating real ‘Mericans watching MTV just assume all “the blacks” get pregnant as teenagers so its not a big deal? Or is this only interesting and tragic when it happens to white kids from middle class backgrounds?

Just a wanker June 9, 2009 at 1:18 am

Jesus Christ, did they do a casting call at Stereotypes-R-Us for this show?

Ken Layne June 9, 2009 at 1:25 am

[re=334555]Just a wanker[/re]: Those aren’t stereotypes. They’re Americans!

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