• May 27, 2012

Big Brother Knows How Much Viagra You Require

by Riley Waggaman  5:12 pm June 8, 2009

  • Lindsey Graham doesn’t want you to see those photos from Joe Lieberman’s surprise Abu Ghraib birthday party, especially the one where Joe forces a prisoner to give him a special birthday enema, because then the anus of every American soldier would be in grave danger. [HuffPost]
  • Newt Gingrich is making up all sorts of silly names for Sonia-Maria, like “Racialist” and “Whinoceros,” since the teacher won’t let him call her a Mexican anymore. [Think Progress]
  • The Wall Street Journal thinks Hank Paulson is “a national hero” and should be rewarded with an endless cornucopia of “Veuve Clicquot and upscale prostitutes.” This angers Matt Taibbi very much, which is why he twittered an angry letter to the editor reminding everyone that Hank Paulson basically invented expensive champagne and hookers and he doesn’t need more of either, thank you. [Matt Taibbi]
  • After the Government buys Health Care, Barack Obama will tally up all the abortions you ever had and then will call you on his BlackBerry to offer his congratulations, if you’re in the top ten. [RedState]
  • Michelle Malkin cordially invites you to open up MS Paint and doodle funny things about Obamacare! Those who do not partake will be considered pinkos and will likely face investigation by the Committee of Un-American Activities. [Michelle Malkin]

{ 31 comments }

SayItWithWookies June 8, 2009 at 5:33 pm

…all requirements that government faces to get a warrant and go through the courts to stormtroop through a doctor’s office to seize records is magically eliminated.

Welcome to the world you have created. Dumbass.

The Lucky Republican June 8, 2009 at 5:38 pm

“Erectile dysfunction, bowel troubles, breast implants . . .”

You can’t say Redstate doesn’t know its readers.

Gorillionaire June 8, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Yo Redstate – worried about “personal privacy”? Join the friggin ACLU.

NoWireHangers June 8, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Since when does Red State care about “privacy”? Are they all suddenly pro-choice?

NoWireHangers June 8, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Malkin is encouraging wingnuts to draw pictures of Obama’s health care plan? Just when we didn’t think there was anything more racist than a Fox News’ “Ask Obama a Question” forum…

gurukalehuru June 8, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Lightfoot Lindsey and Holy Joe
Have things they’d rather we not know
It’s not the murder or the rape
that’s got them all bent out of shape
What’s got them going throuh the roof
is that when people see the proof
their reaction might be bad
and they could get a little mad
They say it’s for our own defense
that we not view the evidence
I just have one thing to say
To Lindseycakes and Holy Joe
and that is that they both should go
fuck off and die, far, far away

drrty martini June 8, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Clearly, Linds doesn’t want to share his masturbation material with others. It makes it less “special.”

S.Luggo June 8, 2009 at 6:02 pm

A racialist is a fiesty Mexican womanalist.

19kevin8 June 8, 2009 at 6:23 pm

Apparently, in Malkin’s world, Obama care means anal beads. I’d think she’d like that, but then it occurred to me that the only Republicans who like anal beads are the dudes…. so that means Coulter will just LOVE Obama care.

Dave J. June 8, 2009 at 6:34 pm

“Racialist?” That’s an Ali G word!

Check it

Min June 8, 2009 at 6:43 pm

Where is Michelle’s poster featuring all the corpses littering the Scandanavian landscape, because there are no doctors available under their highly socialized systems?

Oh, wait…

President Beeblebrox June 8, 2009 at 7:06 pm

Matt Taibbi is the closest thing to Hunter S. Thompson I’ve ever read – and he’s pretty much the only gonzo journalist left since Raoul Duke ventilated his skull with a shotgun.

I mean, only Hunter would have had the balls to call a former Secretary of the Treasury a “craven ass-goblin” like Taibbi did.

EdFlinstone June 8, 2009 at 7:32 pm

Thank god for Matt Taibbi. While CNBC spins this crisis as its because of the poor people defaulting, Matt tells is like it is. Only in America can these douche bags lobby to end rules that created this mess, then get the tax payers to bail them out, then demand bonuses to be rewarded for screwing the country. I could criticize American capitalism, but just by doing so your labeled a pinko-socialist-communist.

taylormattd June 8, 2009 at 8:34 pm

Why? No, really, why?

Why do I care so deeply for this “Riley Waggaman” homosexual?

Why can I not push the thoughts of him giving me a tongue “lashing” (sorry, gross) out of my mind?

Cinderella Boy June 8, 2009 at 8:54 pm

[re=334449]Dave J.[/re]: You read my mind! I wonder if The Daily Show will be giving us a split screen of this tonight?

And seriously, reading Matt Taibbi makes me just a little bit ghey, because I heart that guy. Even with his weird ass permasmirk. Love him on Bill Maher, but I have to watch with my eyes closed because every time I see his face I want to punch it.

Cinderella Boy June 8, 2009 at 9:02 pm

[re=334471]President Beeblebrox[/re]: That’s an apt comparison. But in all fairness, lots of people “have the balls.” It’s just that nobody else seems to have the skillz to put the argument behind it as succinctly as Taibbi ALWAYS does.

tiny mexican June 8, 2009 at 9:04 pm

[re=334504]Cinderella Boy[/re]: Taibbi turns me a little bit gay too. But I’m a girl, so.

Cinderella Boy June 8, 2009 at 9:34 pm

[re=334508]tiny mexican[/re]: Yeah, he’s got kind of a jokerface. I take it you don’t find the prose pantydropping?

A Harlequin Bromance June 8, 2009 at 10:29 pm

[re=334449]Dave J.[/re]: Damn! I was thinking the same thing. Hopefully Newt comes out with the GOP’s new slogan: “Republicans do it up the butty”.

imissopus June 8, 2009 at 10:36 pm

Let me see if I can straighten RedState out: the government would essentially be an insurance provider and wants the ability to check health care providers’ records to make sure they are not screwing the patients or overbilling the government, which is paying the providers with taxpayer dollars. So, the government would actually be trying to cut down on fraud and abuse of your tax dollars.

Unless…the government actually wants to use the records to weed out the sick and racially impure and send them to death camps, leaving only the healthy and strong to breed and create a master race of Americans. This plan sounds awfully familiar….ZOMG OBAMA IS HITLER WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!1!

Scrodd June 8, 2009 at 10:44 pm

Anyone read that as “Lieberman and Graham’s lemon party?”

Mr Blifil June 8, 2009 at 10:59 pm

That Matt Taibbi post was righteous; lacerating.

snideinplainsight June 9, 2009 at 2:41 am

So, excuse me for asking, but whose comment won the afternoon? What was that, a daily award that, like, lasted two whole days? Talk about your short attention spans -

hobospacejunkie June 9, 2009 at 4:33 am

If Matt Taibbi is god, then Riley Waggaman is the holy ghost. I hope True/Slant stays alive because Taibbi posts there a couple times a week and it’s always a righteous read. It gets your blood pumping and makes you want to visit violence upon certain persons who are robbing us blind, or foisting stupid religion on us, or some other iniquitous shit.

orbit222 June 9, 2009 at 8:58 am

“…or A head of Lettuce”

I heart him sooooo bad.

stevedouglas June 9, 2009 at 10:21 am

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7. Experience a daring place: Although it can be risky; many people claim that having intercourse in a somewhat public spot can be very arousing. The thrill of getting caught gets the adrenaline flowing and increases sexual pleasure.

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9. Talk dirty talk: Many people get sexually aroused when their lover talks dirty to them. It builds anticipation and triggers a person’s primal instincts. Talking dirty involves letting go of your self-consciousness and allowing your imagination to run wild. Words are very powerful, even more so during intercourse for Ed sufferers.

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snideinplainsight June 9, 2009 at 3:09 pm

You know, I saw a “Buttea Superba” while walking around downtown during on lunch from jury duty, and I hafta say, it really made my day.

Oh, and stevedouglas, eat a bag of dix. Don’t come around here no more.

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