petulant children

Palin Locked In DEATH MATCH With Republican Fundraisers

She will cancel on her own funeral.Will Sarah Palin appear at a fancy fundraiser tonight for the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee? No way in hell, unless she changes her mind! First she was invited to headline at the event, and she said yes, but then she said no because she was so “overexposed,” so events organizers booked Newt Gingrich instead because Newt Frigging Gingrich is a less “controversial” speaker. But the drama was just beginning!

Some fundraising busybody tried to broker a detente, saying that Palin “would be in the neighborhood around the time of the dinner,” and so maybe she could have appeared at the dinner and maybe even said a few words, until the head of the NRCC said, “She can come but for God’s sake do not let her open her mouth.”

AND THEN “Palin’s team was offended that she was not given the chance to speak.” Goodness gracious.

Sarah Palin has made something of a post-election career for herself out of accepting invitations to do something and then bagging, and now she is mad that the people she bagged on are not inviting her back so she can bag on them again. She is basically a four-year-old child, but with a national following of wingnuts.

Palin and GOP spar over fundraising dinner [The Hill]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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89 comments

  1. Lascauxcaveman

    She is invited to my annual summer solstice Jello-Wrestling and Peyote Party, as long as she doesn’t speak there, also.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    You can’t spell Sarah Palin without Paris (as in Hilton.) Can this woman be more useless?

  3. zenferret

    Great start for her 2012 campaign…. piss off the ones who raise money to pay for the expensive campaigns.

  4. catdance

    She has better things to do with that mouth than speak at Republicans. Ask Toddster’s ex-partner.

  5. loudmouthredhead

    “I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it: people like me!”

    Sarah, just because Trig agrees with everything you say, doesn’t mean we do…

  6. Doglessliberal

    The Repubs really looking like the mature, sensible party of grown ups today. What does Grassley have to say about this?

  7. SayItWithWookies

    This time, it was NRCC head Rep. Pete Sessions (Texas) who balked, according to a source outside the NRCC but involved in planning the dinner.

    Why am I getting an impression that Sessions just doesn’t like having girls around?

  8. azw88

    She was pissed that the first invitation they sent didn’t include her children, especially Trig, and a free wardrobe for all.

  9. Noodle Salad

    Let’s send the Team Palin brain trust to North Korea to restart the six-party talks. Their experience with superdivas should translate seamlessly to Kim Jong Il. Besides, their missles can only hit Alaska anyway, right?

  10. charlesdegoal

    As Advocatus Diaboli rightly points out, she and Newt say the EXACT SAME THING. Still, given a choice between the two, who would pick the fat old man? But if I were a Republican, I would suggest that everybody STFU once and for all, or until they have something worthwhile to propose.

  11. Rush

    We can all thank John McCain for springing this neverending headache upon the other 49 states. Nice job researching your running mate Maverick Douche.

  12. Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof.

    [re=333894]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: He stood strong on his knowing that the framework through which he believed that positive change that framework for our kids, it was freedom [sic].
    Palin is also stealing from early Gertrude Stein.

  13. Hopey dont play that game

    Palin = trolling and follows the wingnut algorithm:

    1. Liberals are “scared of” or “threatened by” her
    2. Liberals are actually sexist because they disagree with her
    3. Liberal women are ugly and hate such a “hottie” because they are jealous
    4. Insert non-clever, overused pun on Obama’s name (e.g., O-Bambi)
    5. Put 1-4 in any order, ignore grammar, and leave caps lock on
    6. Repeat until rapture

  14. Joshua Norton

    Can Palin tweet? Must be hard to type with claws.

    Even so, I’ll bet she twats back “LOL” everytime Ashton Kutcher makes an entry.

  15. OReillysVibrator

    What happens if the President wins an election then decides before inauguration not to serve?

  16. Don Juan Qu

    Republicans have quietly griped about Palin’s prominence and the ham-handed way in which she has dabbled her toes in national politics since then.

    You can pedicure a pig and it still can’t dabble its toes in politics….

  17. frumious_bandersnatch

    Well, if she ends up going, I will gladly sell my blood and kick in a contribution to buy Levi a ticket. Those two need some quality time together.

  18. DoctorCulturae

    Sarah, you have stumbled onto the secret of wingnut attraction: four-year behavior. When Rush Jiggle-belly gets caught in a clear falsehood, the reaction time & tone perfectly echo that of a child. Same for Gov. Sarah Smartymouth. And as for VP Darth: he’ll hold his breath till his face turns blue or the watering stops.

    Doze wingnuts duz haz da luv fer da little’uns. Cuz dey say whut dey caint. Ain’t they cute!

  19. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=333911]edgydrifter[/re]: You mean Baggy Spice. Or Overexposed Spice. Or Hopelessly Neurotic and Suffering from Logorrhea Spice.

  20. americanscandoanything

    they simply don’t understand Sarah

    she always says “no thanks” when she means yes

    I’m sure a few Saks gift cards could staighten out this misunderstanding

    BTW instead of recyclying this old, beat fiqurehead, why don’t they invite that little kid that spoke at the last wingnut festival…..he was so cute

  21. Come here a minute

    Sarah is the Rudy 9iu11iani of 2012 — all the hype, early frontrunner status, then (hopefully) no primary votes.

  22. Godot

    Guys, don’t you see what her plan is here? On the 2012 campaign trail:

    “These party elites kept askin’ me, ‘Sarah, come to this dinner’ and ‘Sarah, speak at this fundraiser’, and I just told ‘em, thanks but no thanks! I was too busy, workin’ hard for the people of my state to be goin’ to fancy parties in Washington, and New York also.”

  23. Vewol Mevemont

    This is an absolute disaster. We can’t let this woman fade into obscurity despite herself. She’s the funniest thing about the GOP that doesn’t involve involve pedophilia & diaper fetishes.

  24. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=333921]OReillysVibrator[/re]: I don’t know about that, but it has always been a favorite fantasy of mine to be the first elected POTUS to get fired for not showing up for work.

    “Will you be in the Oval Office today, Mr. President?”

    - Umm, nah. I feel like taking a long bike ride today.

    “Very good, sir. Like a national fitness initiative; heart healthy excercise photo-op, with a secret service escort, of course?”

    - Whatever. If they can keep up.

    “Well, about tomorrow’s schedule, sir…”

    - Yeah, I’m glad you brought it up. Cancel everything and have them get Airforce One ready to pop us out to Portland. The kids are out of school and they want to go hiking around Mt. Helens. That volcano thingee. It’s not blowing up right now, is it?

  25. Bearbloke

    [re=333918]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: 4½. Make reality-impaired, historically-ignorant accusations of Fascism and Communism and general ‘anti-christ’ activity or intentions…

  26. BadKitty

    [re=333921]OReillysVibrator[/re]: HA! We had a wingnut do that as mayor of wee irrelevent city in northern MN. He won the election but quit 3 months later because he was “too busy”. He keeps running for various offices now and can’t get elected dog catcher. He’s decided this is because of teh librul media and teh gayz.

    I can totally see Caribou Barbie doing this. “Well I wanted to be Preznint, goshdarnit, but the librul media keeps askin’ me all dose gotcha questions, ya know, so I don’t want to do it any more. Also. You betcha.”

    Palin / Bachman in 2012!!!

  27. Crazybroad

    Dontcha know? She must figure that alienating everyone in her party is the best way to maintain the coveted “political outsider” status for the 2012 wingnut primaries. You betcha.

  28. EricSaeger

    Oh that’s just her being mavericky. Mavericks have a tendency of blowing off events, when they’re not douching with the spinal fluid of recently blowed-up Iraqi kindergardeners.

  29. TheNavOne

    “Palin’s team was offended that she was not given the chance to speak.”

    While the rest of us rational folks are offended that she’s even given a chance to speak at all.

  30. Dreckster

    Now that someone kindly pointed out that her “No thanks!” means “Yes!”…I’d still hit that.
    Too.

  31. Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=333913]Noodle Salad[/re]:
    Ha! Can you imgine some North Korean translator trying to translate Palin Speak?

  32. Terry

    [re=333928]Joshua Norton[/re]:

    No, Joan Rivers has a self-awareness that Palin will never have.

  33. loudmouthredhead

    [re=333962]19kevin8[/re]: “Part 4: The Moose Wisperer, or Tossin’ Moose Salad”

  34. loudmouthredhead

    [re=333947]Vewol Mevemont[/re]: I’m still holding out hope that when they actually fire up the LHC, Rush will implode.

  35. KilgoreTrout_XL

    Newt’s speech?: “And hats off to [Palin], because that whole experience… the three weeks that she stayed at Trembling Hills has paid off. No more alcohol or sedatives in her life.”

    Nahhh, probably not.

  36. 19kevin8

    [re=333971]norbizness[/re]: Also, also, also, also, also, also. There, I doubled it. Happy now? Also.

  37. 19kevin8

    [re=333948]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Damn, you had to go and bring Portland into this, didn’t you?

  38. RoscoePColtraine

    Sensitive letter from GOP to Palin… “Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.”

  39. bumfug

    If there’s a god she’ll pull a Nader on the repugs and toally fuck em even if they wise up and try to run someone with even a tenuous grip on reality.

  40. Cape Clod

    [re=333916]Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof.[/re]: She sounds like she has Eugene Ionesco as her speech writer.

  41. Texan Bulldoggette

    Gawd, I love that picture. Arlen looks like he just swallowed a shit sandwich, Walnuts looks like he’s trying to remember the last time he had a bowel movement & Snowbilly totally oblivious to the fact that those 2 hate her to the core of their cancerous blood cells. Whee…those were good times!

  42. Paul Tardy

    Sadly if you compare Gov Palin to other US governors, and governators, she comes out quite well as Alaska has not crashed and burned Michigone style, and is not ever going to be part of Holy Aztlàn.

    Her lack of foreign policy experience could be considered refreshing, in comparison to certain others that believe America starts in the Middle East(*) and ends at the shores of America. That is except she keeps mouthing off about foreign policy. Sarah if you are listening, ditch the whole foreign policy thing, claim you won’t even appoint a Sec. of State.

    * Individuals may substitute Cuba for the Middle East. Other substitutions while possible are not likely to gain traction.

  43. Crazybroad

    [re=334026]Paul Tardy[/re]: It has nothing to do with her leadership. Any state with that much oil money couldn’t fail even if it wanted to.

  44. bonghitsforjesus

    “She can come but for God’s sake do not let her open her mouth.”

    Must be republican opposite day.

  45. RoscoePColtraine

    [re=334026]Paul Tardy[/re]: Sarah shares these qualities with a certain ex-president. Hopefully we got the whole “I’d be a great president cuz I’m retarded” thing out of our collective system.

  46. Paul Tardy

    [re=334032]Crazybroad[/re]: Trust me states are like cars, the more money you got the more trouble a gov can get into.

    Note to Wonkette for some reason I cannot get ctrl+`+a to make an à in your text box using chrome and an hp dv7 laptop(just like the microsoft girl). Tha’s so racist.

    BTW, are you guys going to the international furries convention, that is the only thing Pittsburgs got that DC doesn’t. Don’t spread viscous stereotypes until you have met them, then spread viscous stereotypes.

  47. populucious

    I find this news rather sad, since it suggests the RNC is realizing that having wingnuts stand up in front of large groups of people and ramble BARACKOBAMAISACOMMIESOCIALISTTRYINGTOKILLUSWITH SWINEFLUANDSELLUSTOTHEFRENCHKILLABORTIONDOCTORSBOMBKOREAAMEN or the like is not going well for them, as political strategies go.

  48. problemwithcaring

    She is basically a four-year-old child, but with a national following of wingnuts.

    I thought she looked like one of the Gosselin sextuplets.

  49. gurukalehuru

    [re=334064]Paul Tardy[/re]: Viscous stereotypes? If that wasn’t a typo, it’s pretty darn funny.

  50. gurukalehuru

    Prediction: Sarah Palin will run and run and run again because she’s got the bug and she will become the Ralph Nader of the right and we will still be laughing at her 20 years from now.

  51. dijetlo

    Little known fact but Sara is repeating the fourth, fifth and sixth grade in an attempt to prepare for her 2012 presidential run. On top of that Todd just got her a subscription to “Highlights” so she can answer that bitch Katy Couric the next time she opens her yap about “reedin’.
    She still can’t find the country “Africa” on a map of Africa but she found all seven hidden objects in the picture and the United States on a map of North America, so their hopeful.
    As for this flap over her blowing off RNC events, Todd wont let her attend fundraisers on a school nights and Mike just has to get his mind wrapped around it.

  52. TeddyS

    There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that Sarah Palin is making a video to raise funds for the Octomom’s noble choice to give birthings on a whole herd of children. “Fourteen? She’s fourteener! Well, you go, girl! My unmarried teenage daughter only has one! So far. Also.” she said.

  53. Vewol Mevemont

    [re=334064]Paul Tardy[/re]: Eh, no, I’d say states are like states or other governmental units. The poorly governed ones with loads of oil tend to do OK in the short term, but attract well-armed psychos in the process. E.g., Texas, Venezuela, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Iran, etc., etc. I don’t think the tundra-tard has proven anything by not burning Alaska to the ground — yet. Also.

    Alaska also receives almost $2 in federal monies per $1 sent as federal taxes. It’s basically a welfare state and exhibit B for the proposition that the GOP doesn’t mind welfare as long as it’s not for the coloreds (exhibit A is our agricultural subsidy system). Also. So she’s basically proven that a state with tons of natural resources that receives immense federal aid can stay afloat despite being governed by an imbecile.

  54. lawrenceofthedesert

    Now that she and McCain’t are done playing “Phantom of the Opera,” she’s preparing for the Mimi role in “Rent.”

  55. Hooray For Anything

    [re=333948]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: And the difference between you as President and the previous President would be….?

  56. Godot

    [re=334097]gurukalehuru[/re]: Being viscous makes those stereotypes far easier to spread.

  57. Bruno

    [re=333908]azw88[/re]: “She was pissed that the first invitation they sent didn’t include her children, especially Trig, and a free wardrobe for all.”

    You may be on to something here. Maybe she’s run out of clothes to wear. She’s been sticking to the same glasses frames now for far too long. A woman like that should be changing style every 4-6 months or have several to choose from

  58. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=334275]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I be waaay to busy chillin’ and enjoying the perks to start wars?

    That and I get fired for it. I’m always getting fired for goofing off.

  59. lulzmonger

    Palin is stupid like a fox – bailing on the RNCC is sweet optics right now, what with them looking more & more like the Taliban they admire so much. Ah hell, who am I kidding? She has all the political savvy of a dung-beetle. She probably had some important oil-lobbyist taint-licking scheduled for that evening.

    If it’s a DEATH MATCH I want it to end in a draw.

  60. NYNYNY

    Doesn’t she have a one-year-old disabled child, a new grandson, another hot daughter approaching birthing age, some other questionably-under-control children, a few lawsuits and/or a state full of gun-toting unshaven drunks to take care of?

  61. NYNYNY

    [re=334018]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I love that picture too. McCain must have blackmailed the hell out of him to come to the event and then Arlen probably said, “Ok, I’ll go, but I’m going frown angrily through the whole thing and then become a Democrat if you lose.” “Great, it’s a deal.”

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