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Grassley Tweets Belligerently About Al Gore, Barack Obama, Whatever

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Chk Grassly UR retartedJesus fucking christ. Remember back in 1780-something, when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents in beautiful longhand when they weren’t inventing new kinds of ploughs and bifocals and shit? Now our nation’s top legislators just type away like petulant teenage girls, with their thumbs, about how the president is so awful for spending the weekend in Paris. We are all stupider for having read this. [Chuck Grassley’s Twitter]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • ManchuCandidate

    All Chuck’s Twats tell me is that Chuck has dick issues–as being one and not having much of one.

  • 4tehlulz

    1’m in ur c0mmitt33, killin ur h3a1thc4re

  • Larry McAwful

    OMG! corn subsidie’s for ethenawl produxin r 2 kewl! u rawk, chuckles!

  • CrunchyKnee

    I’ve had “enuf.”

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Sounds like someone is pouting because they didn’t get invited to Paris. He sounds crankier than Walnuts, which is quite a feat.

  • choinski

    This is what they must mean by the phrase ‘opposable thumbs’

  • jagorev


    Get a cellphone with a QWERTY keyboard, or turn on T9 Predictive Text on your cell phone. This will enable you to produce tweets that are not embarrassing. Okay, well, not really, but at least your spelling will improve.

  • Mild Midwesterner

    If the Founding Fathers had used Twitter, would the Constitution be 160 characters or less?

  • Bypartizoa

    Just when I think these people can’t look any more ridiculous…

  • WadISay

    [re=333806]jagorev[/re]: Just curious, what does entering the letters “ur” predict? I would guess “urine”, which isn’t going to help much. Altho, you’re right, it wouldn’t hurt much, either.

  • 4tehlulz

    I’m glad Chuck brought this up; remember how angry he was about W’s frequent vacations?

  • Violenza

    25% of Al Gore?! That’s a lotta beef, Chuckles!

  • PerhapsSo

    Grassley might have a problem with it, but President Obama can NAIL me anytime.

  • jagorev

    [re=333809]WadISay[/re]: “Up”

  • Mr Blifil

    Chuck u r not NAIL neither r u SHARPEST TACK n BOX

  • Yaybuls

    Rumor has it that Grassley is in Skedul/Bones.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    U da 1 who got nerve. Being an utter twat and all.

  • freakishlystrong

    I’m undecided as to which is more assinie and inane, the content or the spllg and grmr, (skedul? really?). Jebus it’s embarrassing.

  • boinggg

    We’re *paying* this idiot to do this?

  • SnarkNotFark

    I will personally give $100 to Grassley’s re-election campaign if he will Tweet (Twat, Twit) with reporters watching. Either he is a dumb (likely) or the role of Chuck Grassley’s Twitter is being played this summder by the freshest-faced, Jesus-lovingest Liberty U co-ed summer intern that you ever did see.

  • ladymacbeth

    [re=333807]Mild Midwesterner[/re]:
    Free speak+GUNS.
    NOEZ to gAyz TAXES aboRTN socialistic!!!1!!@#
    US America birth!!1!!!!

  • joezoo

    He abbreviates the dumbest shit imaginable, making him sound like a 13-year-old goddamn girly girl, but he doesn’t realize that “25%” is shorter than “25per cent”?

  • Formerly Preferred

    You cannot spell Grassley with G, a and y.

    I cannot be the first to have noticed this.

  • engulfedinflames

    i understand that the “work week” under the prior administration was tuesday through thursday; having to actually work on the week-end must be a great burden for charles and his ilk. ( i just called his office and offered to trade health care with him, he is not interested.)

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Dear Twitter,

    Please die.


    Advocatus Diaboli

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=333825]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Yes you can.

  • Gallowglass

    Zomg! Sen gassy is lke sooo rite. We ned helfcre nowz and Obama is in paris wit al gre and crbn footprnt!!!1! WTF LOL ROFLMAO LULz PWNT BUTTHURT ETC.

    What a douche.

  • The Schadenfried PAC

    Isn’t Gassley’s teenage intern boyfriend twittering his tweets?

  • BlueStateLibtard

    He sounds like a jilted boyfriend bitching about his girlfriend going to the City of Romance and maybe cheating on him. Why do all these male Repubatards seem to have some sort of hot crush on Obama? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I have a crush on O too. But I’m female.

  • MOG

    At 4:30 in the morning????? Possible issues with sleep architecture may be causing sociopathic behavior.

  • Hominidx

    Duu Dem politicians uz Twitter 2?
    Or r they just < embarrassing?

  • penalcolony

    Grass mite b more SENILE than Al 2.

  • PsycGirl

    My president went to Paris and all I got was this lousy Twitter feed.

  • CorkPopper

    4:34 am tweets? The senator’s prostate must be KILLING him. We’re lucky he doesn’t tweet OMG i cant blve i had 2 pee agn, tripped ovr the dog on way to bthrm, its all obama’s fault.

  • Joshua Norton

    Ohhh! Folks iz working on the weekend. These the same twats who claimed Nancy was “anti-family” because she made them work a full week instead of Tuesday thru Thursday, like they did when all they had to do was rubber stamp what ever Chimpy sent over?

    Poooor babys.

    Are we supposed to think they’re power users because they can tap (twit, twerp?) out “U” instead of “you”?

    I’ll bet most of them use ghost writers.

  • Wotwotsit

    Not a NAIL, but certainly a TOOL.

  • norbizness

    Needs more emoticons and breathless praise of The Jonas Brothers.

  • Blender

    If this is what MC Steele meant when he said the RNC is refocusing its brand on suburban hip hop whateverthefucks, I love it.

  • Suds McKenzie

    No Sarah I don’t, I don’t remember when “when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents in beautiful longhand”, .. well there’s Deadwood,or “I am a Danish”. Umm.. actually I’ll just stick with Deadwood.

  • Hopey dont play that game

    Wasn’t he just on The Hills? Or was it The Hills after show?

  • El Pinche

    Wow, this is embarrassing. But it will be a sad day when Rush Limbaugh commands his pets to get off the twat.

  • JohnnyMeatworth

    [re=333832]MOG[/re]: Shit, i just figured he was drunk.

  • gurukalehuru

    Bottom line, Grassass, it’s time to deliver on health care. Now stop twittering and get back to work.

  • Hart88

    This is why legislators typically have a buffer (legislative/admin aide; spokesperson).

  • zenferret

    [re=333809]WadISay[/re]: That sounds kinda pissy to me

    [re=333822]SnarkNotFark[/re]: So you think he isn’t Republican gay?

  • Larry McAwful

    [re=333825]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Nor without ASS.

  • Holy Cow!!

    I find this so depressing. I used to just strongly suspect that many congressman and women were idiots. Now, thanks to Twitter, I know they are idiots.

  • DoctorCulturae

    Sen. Chuckie Cheeze-wiz: puke-a-licious thumb talk.

  • catdance

    Hussein, u betr b cl3aring bru$h ovr thr in GAY Paree u $ocialist commie PINKo!!!1!

  • Come here a minute

    “Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris plz txt me ur pix u r so hawwwwt wut r u wearing?
    4:51 AM Jun 7th from txt ”

    The stupid Gore/carbon footprint tweet is a call to WARBLOG if I have ever heard one. Since I am not a twat, however, I don’t know how to declare a twitterwar — just tweet “@ChuckGrassley trucknutz” or something?

  • proudgrampa

    I can’t figure out if the Twitter thing itself is stupid, or just the people who use it…

  • gurukalehuru

    Chrls Grssly s rtrdd. Actually, that does save a great deal of time. Consider me a convert.

  • El Pinche


  • twowheeljunkie

    Better to kept your mouth shut and be thought a fool.
    Than to tweet and remove all dout.

  • 4tehlulz

    [re=333851]Larry McAwful[/re]: Gas, grass, or ass, nobody spells Grassley for free.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=333848]Hart88[/re]: I read that as “This is why legislators typically have a fluffer”.
    Which made perfect sense.

  • donner_froh

    Seeing this story last night and knowing I would wake up to Wonkette’s parody/evisceration made it possible to face another day.

  • momus

    He admits to having a carbon footprint. That’s more than most Republicanus neanderthalii will admit. But this is a US Senator twatting, he probably hired an eager young person to tweet for him, someone with opposable thumbs. He’s a SENATOR and therefore, entitled to minions, after all.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Carbon Footprints??? Is that some kind of fancy new Nike sneaker or something?

  • President Beeblebrox

    I’m heartened to see that we now have U.S. Senators who can only communicate in lolspeak.

    Fortunately, there are a bunch of lolspeak translators out there, so we can translate every Republican’s favorite parts of the Constitution – the Second and Tenth Amendments – into a form that Chuck and the TCOT crowd can understand:

    Amezndmeznt II

    A well regulated milishia, bein necessareh 2 teh seekurite of a free state, teh rite of teh peeplesz 2 keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

    Oh yeah, the Bible is in lol too, so Chuck and the rest of the nutters are set for life. Revelation Chapter 21 is particularly funneh.

    Amezndmeznt X

    teh powers not delegated 2 teh United Statez by teh Constitushun, nor prohibited by it 2 teh states, r reserved 2 teh states respectiveleh, or 2 teh peeplez.

  • catdance

    Grazly r )o(

  • hobospacejunkie

    Well, mission accomplished, Chuck, I guess. Marginally more people know you exist now than yesterday. The trade off, of course, is that those few extras think you are retarded, and the rest of us never cared anyway. Now shutup and go back to sucking off the board of ADM, you dirty whore.

  • Lascauxcaveman


  • thefrontpage

    We’ll say it, for everyone who is afraid to say it:

    This “Twitter” thing is stupid. And moronic, inane, dumb, juvenile, childish, nerdy, unprofessional, and an embarrassment to any adult who uses it.

    It is stupid.

  • frumious_bandersnatch

    I refuse to acknowledge Grassley unless he references teat-sucking.

  • the lady MS.Sheila Dixon

    [re=333924]thefrontpage[/re]: you know what i’m afraid of? i’m afraid people are beginning to use this in professional communiques. i actually recieved “r u attndng mtg @ 2?” i thought it was from my 12 yr old niece.

  • the lady MS.Sheila Dixon

    …so i’ll pray to Ceiling Cat…..

  • canadians for pussy

    if we called an airstrike in on this douche his carbon footprint would be even less. eh

  • sezme

    You most definitely are a nail, Chuck.

  • kbanginmotown

    I believe that bi-focals is hyphenated.

  • Egregious

    In other articles about our dear Sen Grassley, he is apparently surprised and taken aback that the Press Corps keeps asking whether he is, in fact, the author of his “tweets.” He seems to take pride in demonstrating that 70-year old men know how to twitter…My guess is that there’s a growing contingent of GOP strategists that fervently wish that was NOT the case.

  • smitallica

    I can’t believe the president actually dared to go commemorate D-Day with veterans and shit instead of staying home.

    I’m sure, if he had, the righties wouldn’t have mentioned it.

    God, they’re assholes.

  • Lakergrrl

    [re=333807]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: 140 characters or less. and that would be sad

  • PomPom

    Anybody else made to think of that SNL sketch with W: “It’s haaard! It’s hard work! We’ve been stayin’ late, workin’ weekends ….”

    Here’s the transcript:, sorry no clip

  • TGY

    Remember back in 1780-something, when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents…

    The Founding Fathers didn’t have Twitter, else we’d’ve had “@jeffrson: y do u h8 strng cntrl govt???!!!??”

  • proudgrampa

    [re=333942]the lady MS.Sheila Dixon[/re]: You know, that’s EXACTLY what I am afraid of. This is going to become the new, lower standard of business communication.

    Not good.

  • problemwithcaring

    I just hate when people vacillate between “u” and “you” on text messaging. Commit, dammit!

  • wallythepug

    @grassley: FFS, whatevs. DGAF abut ur candyass wrking Sat.

  • drrty martini

    Oh, sweet Baby Chocolate Jesus: he announced the birth of his grandchild: Reagan.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=334079]drrty martini[/re]:

    Full name is Reagan Trigg Trapp Seed Scotts Grassmower Grasshopper Grassley

  • facehead

    What a noob.

  • Bruno

    So he is saying he farts 25% less than Al-Gore? How does one go about measuring their own farts? And how or why would you want to measure Al-Gore’s?

  • Bruno

    [re=333827]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I’ve said this repeatedly, so forgive me. I hope the free market exists long enough for Twits to invest in Twitter stock and lose their fucking shirts.

  • lulzmonger

    Just when you thought discourse couldn’t possibly get any uglier.
    “OMG Obama iz teh suxx0rz!!1!”
    A big bag of dicks: he needs to eat one.

    Aneurysm – Meds = Twitter.

  • mayor_quimby

    He appears to be one of the feeble minded old americans who is not ready for the DTV transition hapening, uhhh this week.
    From his Twit-hole:
    Hv not been able to watch KWWL TV since Feb. When will I b able to get Ron Steele again
    9:15 PM Jun 4th from txt
    From Wikipedia:
    KWWL shut off its analog signal at 1pm on February 17, 2009,[3] and moved digital broadcasts back to channel 7.[4]
    This person who is running a (suck-ass) part of the country can’t figure out how to do a channel scan on his cable, or buy a dtv converter box with the coupon he voted to fund.

  • mpc

    I might take this criticism a bit more seriously if it wasn’t coming from a BLOG that made it’s hay by making anal sex jokes and interviewing the Washingtonienne.

    I guess the media equivalent of “If you can’t argue facts, argue the law” is “If you can’t argue facts, denigrate the medium in which they were delivered.”

  • parisgirly

    Hmmm funny, I remember Grassley sightseeing on weekends in Paris with his wife . . .but i guess since that was part of the official “scheduled of the NATO Parliamentary Congress (May 2006) he was working, not playing. Yeah, that’s TOTALLY different. Silly me.

    Careful POT!!!! Kettle watching!