Grassley Tweets Belligerently About Al Gore, Barack Obama, Whatever

by Sara K. Smith

Chk Grassly UR retartedJesus fucking christ. Remember back in 1780-something, when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents in beautiful longhand when they weren’t inventing new kinds of ploughs and bifocals and shit? Now our nation’s top legislators just type away like petulant teenage girls, with their thumbs, about how the president is so awful for spending the weekend in Paris. We are all stupider for having read this. [Chuck Grassley's Twitter]

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ManchuCandidate June 8, 2009 at 9:34 am

All Chuck’s Twats tell me is that Chuck has dick issues–as being one and not having much of one.

4tehlulz June 8, 2009 at 9:37 am

1′m in ur c0mmitt33, killin ur h3a1thc4re

Larry McAwful June 8, 2009 at 9:38 am

OMG! corn subsidie’s for ethenawl produxin r 2 kewl! u rawk, chuckles!

CrunchyKnee June 8, 2009 at 9:38 am

I’ve had “enuf.”

Texan Bulldoggette June 8, 2009 at 9:40 am

Sounds like someone is pouting because they didn’t get invited to Paris. He sounds crankier than Walnuts, which is quite a feat.

choinski June 8, 2009 at 9:40 am

This is what they must mean by the phrase ‘opposable thumbs’

jagorev June 8, 2009 at 9:41 am


Get a cellphone with a QWERTY keyboard, or turn on T9 Predictive Text on your cell phone. This will enable you to produce tweets that are not embarrassing. Okay, well, not really, but at least your spelling will improve.

Mild Midwesterner June 8, 2009 at 9:43 am

If the Founding Fathers had used Twitter, would the Constitution be 160 characters or less?

Bypartizoa June 8, 2009 at 9:44 am

Just when I think these people can’t look any more ridiculous…

WadISay June 8, 2009 at 9:48 am

[re=333806]jagorev[/re]: Just curious, what does entering the letters “ur” predict? I would guess “urine”, which isn’t going to help much. Altho, you’re right, it wouldn’t hurt much, either.

4tehlulz June 8, 2009 at 9:49 am

I’m glad Chuck brought this up; remember how angry he was about W’s frequent vacations?

Violenza June 8, 2009 at 9:51 am

25% of Al Gore?! That’s a lotta beef, Chuckles!

PerhapsSo June 8, 2009 at 9:51 am

Grassley might have a problem with it, but President Obama can NAIL me anytime.

jagorev June 8, 2009 at 9:52 am

[re=333809]WadISay[/re]: “Up”

Mr Blifil June 8, 2009 at 9:54 am

Chuck u r not NAIL neither r u SHARPEST TACK n BOX

Yaybuls June 8, 2009 at 9:55 am

Rumor has it that Grassley is in Skedul/Bones.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 8, 2009 at 9:55 am

U da 1 who got nerve. Being an utter twat and all.

freakishlystrong June 8, 2009 at 9:57 am

I’m undecided as to which is more assinie and inane, the content or the spllg and grmr, (skedul? really?). Jebus it’s embarrassing.

boinggg June 8, 2009 at 10:00 am

We’re *paying* this idiot to do this?

SnarkNotFark June 8, 2009 at 10:02 am

I will personally give $100 to Grassley’s re-election campaign if he will Tweet (Twat, Twit) with reporters watching. Either he is a dumb (likely) or the role of Chuck Grassley’s Twitter is being played this summder by the freshest-faced, Jesus-lovingest Liberty U co-ed summer intern that you ever did see.

ladymacbeth June 8, 2009 at 10:03 am

[re=333807]Mild Midwesterner[/re]:
Free speak+GUNS.
NOEZ to gAyz TAXES aboRTN socialistic!!!1!!@#
US America birth!!1!!!!

joezoo June 8, 2009 at 10:04 am

He abbreviates the dumbest shit imaginable, making him sound like a 13-year-old goddamn girly girl, but he doesn’t realize that “25%” is shorter than “25per cent”?

Formerly Preferred June 8, 2009 at 10:05 am

You cannot spell Grassley with G, a and y.

I cannot be the first to have noticed this.

engulfedinflames June 8, 2009 at 10:08 am

i understand that the “work week” under the prior administration was tuesday through thursday; having to actually work on the week-end must be a great burden for charles and his ilk. ( i just called his office and offered to trade health care with him, he is not interested.)

Advocatus_Diaboli June 8, 2009 at 10:09 am

Dear Twitter,

Please die.


Advocatus Diaboli

4tehlulz June 8, 2009 at 10:10 am

[re=333825]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Yes you can.

Gallowglass June 8, 2009 at 10:12 am

Zomg! Sen gassy is lke sooo rite. We ned helfcre nowz and Obama is in paris wit al gre and crbn footprnt!!!1! WTF LOL ROFLMAO LULz PWNT BUTTHURT ETC.

What a douche.

The Schadenfried PAC June 8, 2009 at 10:14 am

Isn’t Gassley’s teenage intern boyfriend twittering his tweets?

BlueStateLibtard June 8, 2009 at 10:17 am

He sounds like a jilted boyfriend bitching about his girlfriend going to the City of Romance and maybe cheating on him. Why do all these male Repubatards seem to have some sort of hot crush on Obama? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I have a crush on O too. But I’m female.

MOG June 8, 2009 at 10:18 am

At 4:30 in the morning????? Possible issues with sleep architecture may be causing sociopathic behavior.

Hominidx June 8, 2009 at 10:19 am

Duu Dem politicians uz Twitter 2?
Or r they just < embarrassing?

penalcolony June 8, 2009 at 10:20 am

Grass mite b more SENILE than Al 2.

PsycGirl June 8, 2009 at 10:22 am

My president went to Paris and all I got was this lousy Twitter feed.

CorkPopper June 8, 2009 at 10:22 am

4:34 am tweets? The senator’s prostate must be KILLING him. We’re lucky he doesn’t tweet OMG i cant blve i had 2 pee agn, tripped ovr the dog on way to bthrm, its all obama’s fault.

Joshua Norton June 8, 2009 at 10:24 am

Ohhh! Folks iz working on the weekend. These the same twats who claimed Nancy was “anti-family” because she made them work a full week instead of Tuesday thru Thursday, like they did when all they had to do was rubber stamp what ever Chimpy sent over?

Poooor babys.

Are we supposed to think they’re power users because they can tap (twit, twerp?) out “U” instead of “you”?

I’ll bet most of them use ghost writers.

Wotwotsit June 8, 2009 at 10:26 am

Not a NAIL, but certainly a TOOL.

norbizness June 8, 2009 at 10:26 am

Needs more emoticons and breathless praise of The Jonas Brothers.

Blender June 8, 2009 at 10:27 am

If this is what MC Steele meant when he said the RNC is refocusing its brand on suburban hip hop whateverthefucks, I love it.

Suds McKenzie June 8, 2009 at 10:27 am

No Sarah I don’t, I don’t remember when “when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents in beautiful longhand”, .. well there’s Deadwood,or “I am a Danish”. Umm.. actually I’ll just stick with Deadwood.

Hopey dont play that game June 8, 2009 at 10:28 am

Wasn’t he just on The Hills? Or was it The Hills after show?

El Pinche June 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

Wow, this is embarrassing. But it will be a sad day when Rush Limbaugh commands his pets to get off the twat.

JohnnyMeatworth June 8, 2009 at 10:30 am

[re=333832]MOG[/re]: Shit, i just figured he was drunk.

gurukalehuru June 8, 2009 at 10:31 am

Bottom line, Grassass, it’s time to deliver on health care. Now stop twittering and get back to work.

Hart88 June 8, 2009 at 10:34 am

This is why legislators typically have a buffer (legislative/admin aide; spokesperson).

zenferret June 8, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=333809]WadISay[/re]: That sounds kinda pissy to me

[re=333822]SnarkNotFark[/re]: So you think he isn’t Republican gay?

Larry McAwful June 8, 2009 at 10:38 am

[re=333825]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Nor without ASS.

Holy Cow!! June 8, 2009 at 10:40 am

I find this so depressing. I used to just strongly suspect that many congressman and women were idiots. Now, thanks to Twitter, I know they are idiots.

DoctorCulturae June 8, 2009 at 10:40 am

Sen. Chuckie Cheeze-wiz: puke-a-licious thumb talk.

catdance June 8, 2009 at 10:42 am

Hussein, u betr b cl3aring bru$h ovr thr in GAY Paree u $ocialist commie PINKo!!!1!

Come here a minute June 8, 2009 at 10:43 am

“Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris plz txt me ur pix u r so hawwwwt wut r u wearing?
4:51 AM Jun 7th from txt ”

The stupid Gore/carbon footprint tweet is a call to WARBLOG if I have ever heard one. Since I am not a twat, however, I don’t know how to declare a twitterwar — just tweet “@ChuckGrassley trucknutz” or something?

proudgrampa June 8, 2009 at 10:44 am

I can’t figure out if the Twitter thing itself is stupid, or just the people who use it…

gurukalehuru June 8, 2009 at 10:49 am

Chrls Grssly s rtrdd. Actually, that does save a great deal of time. Consider me a convert.

El Pinche June 8, 2009 at 10:51 am


twowheeljunkie June 8, 2009 at 10:52 am

Better to kept your mouth shut and be thought a fool.
Than to tweet and remove all dout.

4tehlulz June 8, 2009 at 10:58 am

[re=333851]Larry McAwful[/re]: Gas, grass, or ass, nobody spells Grassley for free.

x111e7thst June 8, 2009 at 11:02 am

[re=333848]Hart88[/re]: I read that as “This is why legislators typically have a fluffer”.
Which made perfect sense.

donner_froh June 8, 2009 at 11:06 am

Seeing this story last night and knowing I would wake up to Wonkette’s parody/evisceration made it possible to face another day.

momus June 8, 2009 at 11:10 am

He admits to having a carbon footprint. That’s more than most Republicanus neanderthalii will admit. But this is a US Senator twatting, he probably hired an eager young person to tweet for him, someone with opposable thumbs. He’s a SENATOR and therefore, entitled to minions, after all.

Johnny Zhivago June 8, 2009 at 11:14 am

Carbon Footprints??? Is that some kind of fancy new Nike sneaker or something?

President Beeblebrox June 8, 2009 at 11:26 am

I’m heartened to see that we now have U.S. Senators who can only communicate in lolspeak.

Fortunately, there are a bunch of lolspeak translators out there, so we can translate every Republican’s favorite parts of the Constitution – the Second and Tenth Amendments – into a form that Chuck and the TCOT crowd can understand:

Amezndmeznt II

A well regulated milishia, bein necessareh 2 teh seekurite of a free state, teh rite of teh peeplesz 2 keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.

Oh yeah, the Bible is in lol too, so Chuck and the rest of the nutters are set for life. Revelation Chapter 21 is particularly funneh.

Amezndmeznt X

teh powers not delegated 2 teh United Statez by teh Constitushun, nor prohibited by it 2 teh states, r reserved 2 teh states respectiveleh, or 2 teh peeplez.

catdance June 8, 2009 at 11:40 am

Grazly r )o(

hobospacejunkie June 8, 2009 at 11:41 am

Well, mission accomplished, Chuck, I guess. Marginally more people know you exist now than yesterday. The trade off, of course, is that those few extras think you are retarded, and the rest of us never cared anyway. Now shutup and go back to sucking off the board of ADM, you dirty whore.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2009 at 11:42 am


thefrontpage June 8, 2009 at 11:45 am

We’ll say it, for everyone who is afraid to say it:

This “Twitter” thing is stupid. And moronic, inane, dumb, juvenile, childish, nerdy, unprofessional, and an embarrassment to any adult who uses it.

It is stupid.

frumious_bandersnatch June 8, 2009 at 11:57 am

I refuse to acknowledge Grassley unless he references teat-sucking.

the lady MS.Sheila Dixon June 8, 2009 at 11:59 am

[re=333924]thefrontpage[/re]: you know what i’m afraid of? i’m afraid people are beginning to use this in professional communiques. i actually recieved “r u attndng mtg @ 2?” i thought it was from my 12 yr old niece.

the lady MS.Sheila Dixon June 8, 2009 at 12:00 pm

…so i’ll pray to Ceiling Cat…..

canadians for pussy June 8, 2009 at 12:02 pm

if we called an airstrike in on this douche his carbon footprint would be even less. eh

sezme June 8, 2009 at 12:07 pm

You most definitely are a nail, Chuck.

kbanginmotown June 8, 2009 at 12:32 pm

I believe that bi-focals is hyphenated.

Egregious June 8, 2009 at 12:34 pm

In other articles about our dear Sen Grassley, he is apparently surprised and taken aback that the Press Corps keeps asking whether he is, in fact, the author of his “tweets.” He seems to take pride in demonstrating that 70-year old men know how to twitter…My guess is that there’s a growing contingent of GOP strategists that fervently wish that was NOT the case.

smitallica June 8, 2009 at 12:38 pm

I can’t believe the president actually dared to go commemorate D-Day with veterans and shit instead of staying home.

I’m sure, if he had, the righties wouldn’t have mentioned it.

God, they’re assholes.

Lakergrrl June 8, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=333807]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: 140 characters or less. and that would be sad

PomPom June 8, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Anybody else made to think of that SNL sketch with W: “It’s haaard! It’s hard work! We’ve been stayin’ late, workin’ weekends ….”

Here’s the transcript:, sorry no clip

TGY June 8, 2009 at 1:12 pm

Remember back in 1780-something, when we had actual smart people writing our founding documents…

The Founding Fathers didn’t have Twitter, else we’d’ve had “@jeffrson: y do u h8 strng cntrl govt???!!!??”

proudgrampa June 8, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=333942]the lady MS.Sheila Dixon[/re]: You know, that’s EXACTLY what I am afraid of. This is going to become the new, lower standard of business communication.

Not good.

problemwithcaring June 8, 2009 at 1:56 pm

I just hate when people vacillate between “u” and “you” on text messaging. Commit, dammit!

wallythepug June 8, 2009 at 1:59 pm

@grassley: FFS, whatevs. DGAF abut ur candyass wrking Sat.

drrty martini June 8, 2009 at 2:06 pm

Oh, sweet Baby Chocolate Jesus: he announced the birth of his grandchild: Reagan.

Johnny Zhivago June 8, 2009 at 2:15 pm

[re=334079]drrty martini[/re]:

Full name is Reagan Trigg Trapp Seed Scotts Grassmower Grasshopper Grassley

facehead June 8, 2009 at 2:15 pm

What a noob.

Bruno June 8, 2009 at 5:36 pm

So he is saying he farts 25% less than Al-Gore? How does one go about measuring their own farts? And how or why would you want to measure Al-Gore’s?

Bruno June 8, 2009 at 5:41 pm

[re=333827]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I’ve said this repeatedly, so forgive me. I hope the free market exists long enough for Twits to invest in Twitter stock and lose their fucking shirts.

lulzmonger June 8, 2009 at 9:45 pm

Just when you thought discourse couldn’t possibly get any uglier.
“OMG Obama iz teh suxx0rz!!1!”
A big bag of dicks: he needs to eat one.

Aneurysm – Meds = Twitter.

mayor_quimby June 9, 2009 at 9:22 am

He appears to be one of the feeble minded old americans who is not ready for the DTV transition hapening, uhhh this week.
From his Twit-hole:
Hv not been able to watch KWWL TV since Feb. When will I b able to get Ron Steele again
9:15 PM Jun 4th from txt
From Wikipedia:
KWWL shut off its analog signal at 1pm on February 17, 2009,[3] and moved digital broadcasts back to channel 7.[4]
This person who is running a (suck-ass) part of the country can’t figure out how to do a channel scan on his cable, or buy a dtv converter box with the coupon he voted to fund.

mpc June 9, 2009 at 10:38 am

I might take this criticism a bit more seriously if it wasn’t coming from a BLOG that made it’s hay by making anal sex jokes and interviewing the Washingtonienne.

I guess the media equivalent of “If you can’t argue facts, argue the law” is “If you can’t argue facts, denigrate the medium in which they were delivered.”

parisgirly June 9, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Hmmm funny, I remember Grassley sightseeing on weekends in Paris with his wife . . .but i guess since that was part of the official “scheduled of the NATO Parliamentary Congress (May 2006) he was working, not playing. Yeah, that’s TOTALLY different. Silly me.

Careful POT!!!! Kettle watching!

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