This Could Be MTV’s ‘Real World’ House, In Washington

by Jim Newell

MTV’s hit ’90s sitcom The Real World is supposedly filming in D.C. at one point or another, and Wonkette operative ‘jake the catfish’ thinks this will be their secret special fucking house: “2000 S Street is the real world house. heres the pic. furious pace of work. meters blocked off. hipsters smoking cigs in front. dude in the doorway wouldnt say shit to me when i casually asked what was going on. White vans all over. i work across the street. telecom equipment on the roof. peeked in – theyre hanging a chandelier in the entry way by the stairwell. Thaiphoon is in serious luck. so is the secret safeway. not in luck – those of us who work across the street who hate d-bags.” This sure is some Hot Gossip!

 
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{ 70 comments }

Mr Blifil June 5, 2009 at 3:57 pm

Cue Katrina & The Waves!

Buzz Feedback June 5, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Those who hate douchebags? Every one in Washington is a douchebag.

51dimes June 5, 2009 at 3:59 pm

Couldn’t they just film Republican House Committee meetings and get the same show, or would that be to much of the “racist white guy whose alright because he makes killer nachos” character?

/never watched Real World

Cicada June 5, 2009 at 3:59 pm

STONE THEM!!! STONE THEM NOW!!!

AnnieGetYourFun June 5, 2009 at 4:00 pm

Yeah, wow, I guess. If I had cable, this would be… news of some kind?

19kevin8 June 5, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Maybe if we just ignore MTV it will go away.

snideinplainsight June 5, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Best come-on of the first episode: “Hey, nice turret!”

Bearbloke June 5, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Oh god – is that crap still on?

raysmuckles June 5, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Oh god why couldn’t they just go to Georgetown? Have they no shame? Decent folks still live in Dupont Circle.

american mutt June 5, 2009 at 4:03 pm

I don’t get it. So they’ll be drunk and fucking in DC as opposed to some place else? Why don’t they just make some brothel at the MTV studios and save money.

bitchincamaro June 5, 2009 at 4:05 pm

With what looks like three or four, 5-ton air-conditioning units aloft, look for there to be very little tit sweat on that show this summer.

bago June 5, 2009 at 4:06 pm

I simply know of DuPont Circle as a super-mutant infested path between subway terminals. Am I wrong?

Fabuloso June 5, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Is all that the HVAC on the roof or have they installed some sort of chlamydia eradication filter for the hot tub?

lobo2009 June 5, 2009 at 4:12 pm

I hope it’s a house full of homos otherwise the straighties won’t be having much fun in Dupont Circle! Well maybe the girls I know a place on “S” where they can get manis and pedis!

rereridiculous June 5, 2009 at 4:12 pm

I just realized. You could write either ” hipsters smoking cigs” or “cigs-smoking hipsters.” My how fucked up English is.

lizard scum June 5, 2009 at 4:12 pm

I remember being in high school September 11, 2001 and cracking jokes with another apparently amoral monster at the back of the class: “Hey turn it from ABC to MTV, we want to watch Carson Daily die on Total Request Live.” But, of course, it’s not amoral at all to want MTV people to all die. And no, it’s not immoral, either.

Doglessliberal June 5, 2009 at 4:15 pm

[re=333384]Fabuloso[/re]: you beat me. I was just going to note that that was the Mother of All HAVC systems OR a giant rat vaccuum.

Crab1 June 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Anonymously send them Truck Nutz.

Blender June 5, 2009 at 4:17 pm

[re=333384]Fabuloso[/re]: looks like a habitrail maze, but for douchebags.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 5, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Prediction: at least one male resident will be arrested for attempting to piss on the White House lawn, and two other male residents will become embroiled in a scandal involving a bungee cord, two and a half pounds of Country Crock Lite spread, and the aide to the senior Republican senator from Utah.

boatapple June 5, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Didn’t that used to be Saddam’s embassy or something? What’s with the Baltimore-style fake granite on the ground floor? Ugly. Probably full of rats, too.

ph7 June 5, 2009 at 4:29 pm

Can soemone tag this location as “cum dumpster” on Google Maps? I tried, but my brain hurt.

19kevin8 June 5, 2009 at 4:32 pm

[re=333393]rereridiculous[/re]: Or “hipster-smoking hipsters”. Think about it for a sec.

Min June 5, 2009 at 4:38 pm

I can pretty much guarantee that I will not be watching this show, unless, of course, they turn it into The Real World vs. Godzilla.

catfishjake June 5, 2009 at 4:46 pm

I really need to remember to capitalize and stuff when I email in tips.

Jukesgrrl June 5, 2009 at 4:49 pm

[re=333394]lizard scum[/re]: Congratulations. I see you’ve graduated and moved up to Wonkette. Be warned, you’re allowed to communicate from Mom’s basement and type in your boxers, but we insist you turn that ball cap around.

19kevin8 June 5, 2009 at 4:59 pm

[re=333448]Min[/re]: I’d get cable for that one! And a teevee!

Hart88 June 5, 2009 at 5:07 pm

that place is huge – how many douchetards are they going to inflict on us?

Esmeralda June 5, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Aw, crap. I’m moving back to that neighborhood in July. Although I have faith they’ll steer clear of the Secret Safeway since I’m sure the producers procure their food for them. And luckily I don’t think they’ll be too interested in L’Enfant Cafe or Bistrot du Coin. Phew.

My guess? It will be worse than ever in the Herpes Triangle (Rumors, Front Page, and Lucky Bar).

wiggyndc June 5, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Yeah, that’s the house…. As I Tweeted earlier…. There is indeed a guy who came out and gave me the stink eye and flipped the bird when I started taking pics… my camera died, so i ended up using my cell phone, and another guy came over and asked “what are you doing”.. response, “taking pictures.” he walked back in…then flipped the aforementioned bird. The property is 10,800 Square Feet, and more than $5-million. http://www.twitpic.com/6oxu4 http://www.twitpic.com/6oy2d http://www.twitpic.com/6oxwu

LittlePig June 5, 2009 at 5:26 pm

What the hell is up with that blue velour building out back?

proudgrampa June 5, 2009 at 5:38 pm

Whatinhell ever happened to music videos??

I know, some of you younger folks might not realize this, but MTV used to be, uh, Musical Television!!

This Real World crap is about as real as Hogwart’s…

Mr Blifil June 5, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Will they get to visit Stormy Daniels’ campaign office?

tbridge June 5, 2009 at 5:48 pm

One of our readers went by to check it out and gave us an update on the place. Looks like that’ll be the spot, but it’s going to be hard to get it ready in time…

picadillythirds June 5, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Oh god, those sneaky bastards are closer to my work than I anticipated. Between these douchebags and the interns on my metro ride, I am in for some stellar brain melting conversations.

wiggyndc June 5, 2009 at 5:59 pm

Tried posting earlier, but it apparently didn’t take. I was at the “Real World DC” house earlier around 2pm… Took pics….then Tweeted about it… then, while taking another pic, got flipped the bird by one of the contractors standing on the front entryway of the 2000 S. Street NW property. It’s apparently 10,800 square feet, and was (according to public records) $5.9-million worth….

Bison June 5, 2009 at 6:21 pm

Fake jobs, fake tans, fake tits. Welcome to The Real World!

hobospacejunkie June 5, 2009 at 6:52 pm

[re=333407]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Prediction: A house full of wannabe actors pretending to be regular people will prance like drama queens for weeks in front of cameras while the older set (like me, 43) will remain blissfully unaware.

I remember the beginning of the end of MTV (late ’80s,) the first game show that also had a hottie named Marisol Massey as eye candy. Also remember a VJ named Smash referring to one particular band as “Echo and the itty bitty bunny boys.” Those were the days. You know, when they played music.

ph7 June 5, 2009 at 7:02 pm

[re=333557]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I preferred Kari Wuhrer (season 2), which was before her boob job and soft porn career.

smashtheduck June 5, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Dupont was invaded by the hags long ago. The gays have moved further east.

smashtheduck June 5, 2009 at 7:14 pm

Is it wrong to hope that one drunken evening they’ll accidently wander into the Fireplace or Omega?

hobospacejunkie June 5, 2009 at 8:22 pm

[re=333560]ph7[/re]: I take it this was before her starring role in Sliders? Well, maybe something good has come out of this silly MTV show after all.

norbizness June 5, 2009 at 8:37 pm

To all right-thinking Washingtonians: take some lessons from the Beasties’ Egg Man; e.g. leave a man standing with an egg-mustache.

mirrorball June 5, 2009 at 8:46 pm

[re=333478]Hart88[/re]: Yeah it’s huge, but it seems standard order for the show. From what I’ve read, the past few seasons used “houses” in the neighborhood of 15,000-20,000 sq feet.

DangerousLiberal June 5, 2009 at 8:58 pm

[re=333384]Fabuloso[/re]: Win. That, or all the heat generated by the light for the web cams, tv cams, bush cams, ass cams, and whatever other cams end up in this hellhole.

Dupont circle was once cool, when it was just the gayz. Now it’s all chain stores and het 20-somethings who generate so much heat with their screwing that they need an HVAC system big enough to cool every embassy on Mass Ave.

Oh, also, MTV jumped the shark the moment they showed the A-Ha video. “It’s over Jim–I’m a programmer, not a miracle worker!”

rereridiculous June 5, 2009 at 9:08 pm

[re=333437]19kevin8[/re]: Smoking hipster is smoking?

earthadellic June 5, 2009 at 9:33 pm

fuck! people who watch the real world are assholes, they will inevitably think that washington is a place for people like themselves, they will come and fuck up the one of the only important cities in america. i hate mtv

(i’m in nj)

bodypolitik June 5, 2009 at 11:55 pm

[re=333458]catfishjake[/re]: grammar iz important

Also, we work across the street from this. Holy crap this is going to suck.

Joshua Norton June 6, 2009 at 1:57 am

So are they ever going to bring back Puck? He was on the last time I watched that show. Eating peanut butter out of jars with his fingers and driving Pedro up a wall.

ladymacbeth June 6, 2009 at 2:16 am

why don’t you people in DC have actual words as street names? these things aren’t really very complicated. you should just maybe have a vowel occasionally and maybe more than one consonant and if it strikes you polysyllables.

these things enrich the quality of life.

DollarStorePregnancyTest June 6, 2009 at 7:12 am

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thaiphoon. the other reason i miss D.C.. (the first being hookers and blow)

DollarStorePregnancyTest June 6, 2009 at 7:14 am

[re=333566]smashtheduck[/re]: i once drunkenly wandered into omega. turns out i HAVE met a drink i don’t like.

GaySailor June 6, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Hey, I went to a party there! A long time ago, but yep…

GaySailor June 6, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Yea! Male prostitutes being added to brothels in Vegas… but they are for “straight sex” only. If they were really that hard up for cash they’d add gay prostitutes because they don’t have to wine or dine their clients.

http://www.lasvegassun.com/news/2009/jun/02/business-slows-brothel-seeking-add-male-prostitute/

smashtheduck June 6, 2009 at 3:57 pm

[re=333672]DollarStorePregnancyTest[/re]: lol. You should have wandered upstairs. There’s a porn room. Okay so the floors are a little sticky and geriatric trolls are a little pushy but hey…FREE PORN. Oh wait, the internet. Okay, don’t go upstairs.

Scooter June 6, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Weirdest Burger King with playground on roof EVER!

The ‘Real World’ series reinforces my lifelong belief that most people are just no damn good.

Hunger Tallest Palin June 6, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Christ. Like we don’t have enough whiny ass drama weasels around here already.

Bruno June 7, 2009 at 3:54 am

Why do they need all that stuff on the top of such a little house? It’s been probably 15+ years since I’ve seen the Real World. Or is that some kind of hamster tunnel they contestents have to go through?

nutcracker June 7, 2009 at 9:19 am

If they had any real cojones they’d put these douches in a little house on Stanton Rd., give them two keys of coke and a couple of Glocks to get started in the local business, and the survivors would win the big $$$ at the end.

nutcracker June 7, 2009 at 9:29 am

[re=333655]ladymacbeth[/re]: It’s all part of the plan Lady. The first alphabet is letters, next come street names of one syllable, also in alphabetical order, then two, then three. All of the letter and name streets run east to west, all of the number streest run north and south, and all of the streets named for states run diagonally. If you understand it, it is nearly impossible to get lost in DC. Learn it, know it, live it.

GaySailor June 8, 2009 at 12:08 am

[re=333736]nutcracker[/re]: Is that why I was always lost, or was it the drugs… or both?

smashtheduck June 8, 2009 at 4:09 am

[re=333655]ladymacbeth[/re]: Except there’s no “J” Street.
How to ditch someone in DC: I’ll meet you at Starbucks….the one by the CVS…. on J Street.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 8, 2009 at 9:53 am

[re=333557]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Oh, I quit watching that tired show after RW New Orleans. Besides that, MTV has become the sine qua non of teh suck since, oh, 1991.

liquiddaddy June 8, 2009 at 10:46 am

Speaking of hipsters, VP “Joe Cool” Biden can’t wait to dawn his aviators, ascot, tweed sport coat and meerschaum to “rap” with the kids. I hope they send him to the corner to speak to the man about some blunts. Hijinks ensue.

MoonshineJoe June 8, 2009 at 11:23 am

[re=333383]bago[/re]: Check your Pip-Boy, its an actual place in teh DeeCeeZ where, apparently, we are importing douchebags.

cybervoyeur June 8, 2009 at 11:45 am

Good thing there’s a doctor’s office right across the street that specializes in infectious diseases.

boatapple: Baltimore-style fake granite on the ground floor?
That’s not fake. That’s the real granite. I think it has painted window screens, though.

thefrontpage June 8, 2009 at 11:50 am

That building is about as “real world” as the Land of Oz.

This show is one of the worst shows on television.

Here’s an idea: Put Ann Coulter, Michele Malkin, Michelle Bachman, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Al Franken, Jeaneane Garafalo, Ted Danson, John Mellencamp, Neil Young and Erica Jong in a house together for 30 days and see what happens. That would be some good TV right there.

VP1983 June 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

I think we should all band together and punch these guys as soon as we see them out in DC. Think about it. Every episode of real world will focus on some jack ass from DC punching their cast members. It would be great.

theelectors June 12, 2009 at 7:03 pm

I’ve been waiting for this one for years! I for one cannot WAIT to spy the token characters (bitchy girl, flaming mo, hot and frequently angry black dude) around town. Let the trashy hot tub scenes commence!

http://www.theelectors.com/2009/06/08/scene-this-week/

FizzyDrink July 4, 2009 at 11:52 am

[re=333655]ladymacbeth[/re]: There are entire sections of mono and polysyllabic names like Dumbarton, Rittenhouse, Somerset, Kanawha, Military, Kalorama, California, Pennsylvania, Manchester, Chesepeake, Ellicot, Juniper, Geranium and even Quakenbos. Then others like Beach, Fern, Church, King, Greene, Park, Swann and Grace.

But for the drug addicts, prostitutes and (so called) “hipsters” (as if DC really had such things) street names like P, Q, R, S, T. U and 16th, 17th, 18th (you get it?) are much easier. It’s simpler for their buyers and tricks too. Ben Franklin was no fool.

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