because of all the maintenance workers!

This Could Be MTV’s ‘Real World’ House, In Washington

MTV’s hit ’90s sitcom The Real World is supposedly filming in D.C. at one point or another, and Wonkette operative ‘jake the catfish’ thinks this will be their secret special fucking house: “2000 S Street is the real world house. heres the pic. furious pace of work. meters blocked off. hipsters smoking cigs in front. dude in the doorway wouldnt say shit to me when i casually asked what was going on. White vans all over. i work across the street. telecom equipment on the roof. peeked in – theyre hanging a chandelier in the entry way by the stairwell. Thaiphoon is in serious luck. so is the secret safeway. not in luck – those of us who work across the street who hate d-bags.” This sure is some Hot Gossip!

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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70 comments

  1. 51dimes

    Couldn’t they just film Republican House Committee meetings and get the same show, or would that be to much of the “racist white guy whose alright because he makes killer nachos” character?

    /never watched Real World

  2. raysmuckles

    Oh god why couldn’t they just go to Georgetown? Have they no shame? Decent folks still live in Dupont Circle.

  3. american mutt

    I don’t get it. So they’ll be drunk and fucking in DC as opposed to some place else? Why don’t they just make some brothel at the MTV studios and save money.

  4. bitchincamaro

    With what looks like three or four, 5-ton air-conditioning units aloft, look for there to be very little tit sweat on that show this summer.

  5. bago

    I simply know of DuPont Circle as a super-mutant infested path between subway terminals. Am I wrong?

  6. Fabuloso

    Is all that the HVAC on the roof or have they installed some sort of chlamydia eradication filter for the hot tub?

  7. lobo2009

    I hope it’s a house full of homos otherwise the straighties won’t be having much fun in Dupont Circle! Well maybe the girls I know a place on “S” where they can get manis and pedis!

  8. rereridiculous

    I just realized. You could write either ” hipsters smoking cigs” or “cigs-smoking hipsters.” My how fucked up English is.

  9. lizard scum

    I remember being in high school September 11, 2001 and cracking jokes with another apparently amoral monster at the back of the class: “Hey turn it from ABC to MTV, we want to watch Carson Daily die on Total Request Live.” But, of course, it’s not amoral at all to want MTV people to all die. And no, it’s not immoral, either.

  10. Doglessliberal

    [re=333384]Fabuloso[/re]: you beat me. I was just going to note that that was the Mother of All HAVC systems OR a giant rat vaccuum.

  11. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Prediction: at least one male resident will be arrested for attempting to piss on the White House lawn, and two other male residents will become embroiled in a scandal involving a bungee cord, two and a half pounds of Country Crock Lite spread, and the aide to the senior Republican senator from Utah.

  12. boatapple

    Didn’t that used to be Saddam’s embassy or something? What’s with the Baltimore-style fake granite on the ground floor? Ugly. Probably full of rats, too.

  13. ph7

    Can soemone tag this location as “cum dumpster” on Google Maps? I tried, but my brain hurt.

  14. 19kevin8

    [re=333393]rereridiculous[/re]: Or “hipster-smoking hipsters”. Think about it for a sec.

  15. Min

    I can pretty much guarantee that I will not be watching this show, unless, of course, they turn it into The Real World vs. Godzilla.

  16. Jukesgrrl

    [re=333394]lizard scum[/re]: Congratulations. I see you’ve graduated and moved up to Wonkette. Be warned, you’re allowed to communicate from Mom’s basement and type in your boxers, but we insist you turn that ball cap around.

  17. Esmeralda

    Aw, crap. I’m moving back to that neighborhood in July. Although I have faith they’ll steer clear of the Secret Safeway since I’m sure the producers procure their food for them. And luckily I don’t think they’ll be too interested in L’Enfant Cafe or Bistrot du Coin. Phew.

    My guess? It will be worse than ever in the Herpes Triangle (Rumors, Front Page, and Lucky Bar).

  18. wiggyndc

    Yeah, that’s the house…. As I Tweeted earlier…. There is indeed a guy who came out and gave me the stink eye and flipped the bird when I started taking pics… my camera died, so i ended up using my cell phone, and another guy came over and asked “what are you doing”.. response, “taking pictures.” he walked back in…then flipped the aforementioned bird. The property is 10,800 Square Feet, and more than $5-million. http://www.twitpic.com/6oxu4 http://www.twitpic.com/6oy2d http://www.twitpic.com/6oxwu

  19. proudgrampa

    Whatinhell ever happened to music videos??

    I know, some of you younger folks might not realize this, but MTV used to be, uh, Musical Television!!

    This Real World crap is about as real as Hogwart’s…

  20. picadillythirds

    Oh god, those sneaky bastards are closer to my work than I anticipated. Between these douchebags and the interns on my metro ride, I am in for some stellar brain melting conversations.

  21. wiggyndc

    Tried posting earlier, but it apparently didn’t take. I was at the “Real World DC” house earlier around 2pm… Took pics….then Tweeted about it… then, while taking another pic, got flipped the bird by one of the contractors standing on the front entryway of the 2000 S. Street NW property. It’s apparently 10,800 square feet, and was (according to public records) $5.9-million worth….

  22. hobospacejunkie

    [re=333407]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Prediction: A house full of wannabe actors pretending to be regular people will prance like drama queens for weeks in front of cameras while the older set (like me, 43) will remain blissfully unaware.

    I remember the beginning of the end of MTV (late ’80s,) the first game show that also had a hottie named Marisol Massey as eye candy. Also remember a VJ named Smash referring to one particular band as “Echo and the itty bitty bunny boys.” Those were the days. You know, when they played music.

  23. ph7

    [re=333557]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I preferred Kari Wuhrer (season 2), which was before her boob job and soft porn career.

  24. smashtheduck

    Is it wrong to hope that one drunken evening they’ll accidently wander into the Fireplace or Omega?

  25. hobospacejunkie

    [re=333560]ph7[/re]: I take it this was before her starring role in Sliders? Well, maybe something good has come out of this silly MTV show after all.

  26. norbizness

    To all right-thinking Washingtonians: take some lessons from the Beasties’ Egg Man; e.g. leave a man standing with an egg-mustache.

  27. mirrorball

    [re=333478]Hart88[/re]: Yeah it’s huge, but it seems standard order for the show. From what I’ve read, the past few seasons used “houses” in the neighborhood of 15,000-20,000 sq feet.

  28. DangerousLiberal

    [re=333384]Fabuloso[/re]: Win. That, or all the heat generated by the light for the web cams, tv cams, bush cams, ass cams, and whatever other cams end up in this hellhole.

    Dupont circle was once cool, when it was just the gayz. Now it’s all chain stores and het 20-somethings who generate so much heat with their screwing that they need an HVAC system big enough to cool every embassy on Mass Ave.

    Oh, also, MTV jumped the shark the moment they showed the A-Ha video. “It’s over Jim–I’m a programmer, not a miracle worker!”

  29. earthadellic

    fuck! people who watch the real world are assholes, they will inevitably think that washington is a place for people like themselves, they will come and fuck up the one of the only important cities in america. i hate mtv

    (i’m in nj)

  30. bodypolitik

    [re=333458]catfishjake[/re]: grammar iz important

    Also, we work across the street from this. Holy crap this is going to suck.

  31. Joshua Norton

    So are they ever going to bring back Puck? He was on the last time I watched that show. Eating peanut butter out of jars with his fingers and driving Pedro up a wall.

  32. ladymacbeth

    why don’t you people in DC have actual words as street names? these things aren’t really very complicated. you should just maybe have a vowel occasionally and maybe more than one consonant and if it strikes you polysyllables.

    these things enrich the quality of life.

  33. DollarStorePregnancyTest

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thaiphoon. the other reason i miss D.C.. (the first being hookers and blow)

  34. DollarStorePregnancyTest

    [re=333566]smashtheduck[/re]: i once drunkenly wandered into omega. turns out i HAVE met a drink i don’t like.

  35. smashtheduck

    [re=333672]DollarStorePregnancyTest[/re]: lol. You should have wandered upstairs. There’s a porn room. Okay so the floors are a little sticky and geriatric trolls are a little pushy but hey…FREE PORN. Oh wait, the internet. Okay, don’t go upstairs.

  36. Scooter

    Weirdest Burger King with playground on roof EVER!

    The ‘Real World’ series reinforces my lifelong belief that most people are just no damn good.

  37. Hunger Tallest Palin

    Christ. Like we don’t have enough whiny ass drama weasels around here already.

  38. Bruno

    Why do they need all that stuff on the top of such a little house? It’s been probably 15+ years since I’ve seen the Real World. Or is that some kind of hamster tunnel they contestents have to go through?

  39. nutcracker

    If they had any real cojones they’d put these douches in a little house on Stanton Rd., give them two keys of coke and a couple of Glocks to get started in the local business, and the survivors would win the big $$$ at the end.

  40. nutcracker

    [re=333655]ladymacbeth[/re]: It’s all part of the plan Lady. The first alphabet is letters, next come street names of one syllable, also in alphabetical order, then two, then three. All of the letter and name streets run east to west, all of the number streest run north and south, and all of the streets named for states run diagonally. If you understand it, it is nearly impossible to get lost in DC. Learn it, know it, live it.

  41. GaySailor

    [re=333736]nutcracker[/re]: Is that why I was always lost, or was it the drugs… or both?

  42. smashtheduck

    [re=333655]ladymacbeth[/re]: Except there’s no “J” Street.
    How to ditch someone in DC: I’ll meet you at Starbucks….the one by the CVS…. on J Street.

  43. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=333557]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Oh, I quit watching that tired show after RW New Orleans. Besides that, MTV has become the sine qua non of teh suck since, oh, 1991.

  44. liquiddaddy

    Speaking of hipsters, VP “Joe Cool” Biden can’t wait to dawn his aviators, ascot, tweed sport coat and meerschaum to “rap” with the kids. I hope they send him to the corner to speak to the man about some blunts. Hijinks ensue.

  45. MoonshineJoe

    [re=333383]bago[/re]: Check your Pip-Boy, its an actual place in teh DeeCeeZ where, apparently, we are importing douchebags.

  46. cybervoyeur

    Good thing there’s a doctor’s office right across the street that specializes in infectious diseases.

    boatapple: Baltimore-style fake granite on the ground floor?
    That’s not fake. That’s the real granite. I think it has painted window screens, though.

  47. thefrontpage

    That building is about as “real world” as the Land of Oz.

    This show is one of the worst shows on television.

    Here’s an idea: Put Ann Coulter, Michele Malkin, Michelle Bachman, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Al Franken, Jeaneane Garafalo, Ted Danson, John Mellencamp, Neil Young and Erica Jong in a house together for 30 days and see what happens. That would be some good TV right there.

  48. VP1983

    I think we should all band together and punch these guys as soon as we see them out in DC. Think about it. Every episode of real world will focus on some jack ass from DC punching their cast members. It would be great.

  49. FizzyDrink

    [re=333655]ladymacbeth[/re]: There are entire sections of mono and polysyllabic names like Dumbarton, Rittenhouse, Somerset, Kanawha, Military, Kalorama, California, Pennsylvania, Manchester, Chesepeake, Ellicot, Juniper, Geranium and even Quakenbos. Then others like Beach, Fern, Church, King, Greene, Park, Swann and Grace.

    But for the drug addicts, prostitutes and (so called) “hipsters” (as if DC really had such things) street names like P, Q, R, S, T. U and 16th, 17th, 18th (you get it?) are much easier. It’s simpler for their buyers and tricks too. Ben Franklin was no fool.

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