BREAKING  2:35 pm June 5, 2009

National Review Has A Scoop!

by Jim Newell

According to the new National Review, Sonia Sotomayor’s particular flavor of Mexico is secretly in Asia, where she practices radical Buddhism! Or does the cover art actually go with the top headline, about Jonah Goldberg answering His Critics? Is it simply a photograph of Jonah Goldberg, from the same photoshoot as this? [TPM]

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Dave J. June 5, 2009 at 2:37 pm

“How can you say we’re being racist? We made the Mexican look Chinese!”

user-of-owls June 5, 2009 at 2:38 pm

That’s not transcendental transcendence!

DemmeFatale June 5, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Keep it up, dickwads.

Min June 5, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Nobody puts Barry in the corner!

sad tortoise June 5, 2009 at 2:40 pm

My Mexican Problem… And Ours!

magic titty June 5, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Can’t they just change the name of their publication to Doomed Crackers and get it over with.

Lord Growing June 5, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Wise Latinas never travel anywhere without a security detail of angry vaginas.

GDuvall June 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm

“So we were thinking. We’ve already managed to drive African-Americans completely out of the conservative movement, but would it be possible for us to insult Latinos and Asian-Americans at the same time? Turns out, there is!”

Hart88 June 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm

I wonder how many times Jonah misused the term “fascist” in his article? Inquiring minds want to know!

CockedAle June 5, 2009 at 2:42 pm

I see Long Dong Nirvana and Buddhist pubic hair on the Coke can. Deal breaker 4 sure.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello June 5, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I don’t see the asian influence. I think what NR is trying to say is that Soto is a lazy Messican who will always be taking siestas on the bench.

Dave J. June 5, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Based on limited experience, I’d say the two forms of media most likely to mischaracterize Latinas as Asians are National Review and 99% of porn sites.

Min June 5, 2009 at 2:46 pm

Actually, that caricature looks remarkably like Tiny Tim.

finallyhappy June 5, 2009 at 2:46 pm

What is the point of the deer? what a bunch of losers over there- as if they didn’t know that already.

Scrodd June 5, 2009 at 2:46 pm

[re=333233]Rev. Peter Lemonjello[/re]: I don’t see any ping-pong balls either.

51dimes June 5, 2009 at 2:46 pm

As a white male, I feel oppressed by this. Whatever happened to hot dogs and apple pie, damnit.

One Yield Regular June 5, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Nor did it help that someone on Jim Lehrer’s show the other night pronounced her name “Soda Me-ir” – a mere consonant away from “SOLDA Meir.”

user-of-owls June 5, 2009 at 2:49 pm

[re=333223]DemmeFatale[/re]: It’s all fun and games ’til Rahm knocks on your door.

AnnieGetYourFun June 5, 2009 at 2:49 pm

I can’t believe that they wasted such a great opportunity to use Dia de Los Muertos imagery on the cover.

EnBuenOra June 5, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Couldn’t they just print on the cover of every issue “PLEASE NO ONE BUT SOUTHERN WHITE MALE JACKHOLES VOTE REPUBLICAN EVER EVER EVER AGAIN THANK YOU” and be done with it?

JMP June 5, 2009 at 2:50 pm

What does Jo-Go have to say about his critics, anyway? Judging by his usual discourse, it’s probably “Your all poopyheads with cooties!”

lizard scum June 5, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Well, I’m sure Sonia “Satori” Sotomayor perceives in an instant the way things were, are, and will always be. Things were racist, they are reverse-racist, and will always be one or the other according to wingnuts, so why not choose the latter?

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 5, 2009 at 2:51 pm

re=333235]Min[/re]: Alas, yes. But with smaller boobies.

Lakergrrl June 5, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Sotomayor is not Mexican, she’s Puerto Rican! Get your Latins straight!

AnnieGetYourFun June 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=333241]One Yield Regular[/re]: Which is just a consonant away from Golda Meir?

One Yield Regular June 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

And damn – I accidentally threw that copy out, thinking it was just another quarterly newsletter from Harbin Hot Springs.

SayItWithWookies June 5, 2009 at 2:53 pm

[re=333236]finallyhappy[/re]: It’s an allusion to the Buddha who, after his enlightenment, preached his first sermon at the Deer Park in Benares. Where, contrary to popular myth, there was no hot dog vendor, so he never asked the guy to “make me one with everything.”

Tra June 5, 2009 at 2:54 pm

Jonah Goldberg on His Critics

Poor, squished critics.

frailamerica June 5, 2009 at 2:55 pm


JSDC007 June 5, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Wise Latina, dumb-as-dirt crackers.

Enough said.

SayItWithWookies June 5, 2009 at 2:56 pm

I guess the NR couldn’t come up with an example of a wise Latina to caricature. Although they did pass up a chance to use Tania the Che Guevara protege.

CorkPopper June 5, 2009 at 2:56 pm

[re=333251]Lakergrrl[/re]: New around here?

Tra June 5, 2009 at 2:57 pm

Also, how does Jonah Goldberg on his critics get top billing? Jonah spends every other blog post whining about his critics and how wrong they are and how this only proves his point, somehow.

The other 50 percent of his posts are about Battlestar Galactica.

Cape Clod June 5, 2009 at 2:58 pm

It kind of looks like they took the cover of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel and photoshopped a characture of Katherine Jean Lopez into it.

doxastic June 5, 2009 at 2:59 pm

So, are they suggesting Sotomayor was only able to graduate summa from Princeton because she was secretly Charlie Chan?

SayItWithWookies June 5, 2009 at 2:59 pm

[re=333252]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Which is really just a few consonants and vowels away from Emma Goldman — famous anarchist!

WIDTAP June 5, 2009 at 3:00 pm

[re=333251]Lakergrrl[/re]: Well thank God Antonio Banderas is European and not Latino or we would all be confused by the classification.

CorkPopper June 5, 2009 at 3:00 pm

National Review: Where Asians are wise, Latinas are fiery and tempermental, blacks are angry and untrustworthy…but oddly, J-Lo doesn’t appear to be jolly. At all.

4tehlulz June 5, 2009 at 3:00 pm

This is just an excuse to try to sneak Latina tits into the conservative consciousness.

I think we all know what is behind her right hand, and it isn’t cloth.

One Yield Regular June 5, 2009 at 3:01 pm

[re=333252]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: It’s only noon and I haven’t had a drink yet. Yes, a mere TWO consonants away from Golda Meir.

revbob June 5, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Lakergrrl Sic semper Maria.

thefrontpage June 5, 2009 at 3:04 pm

Wait–Sonia Sotomayor isn’t Asian?

magic titty June 5, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=333234]Dave J.[/re]: You’re my favorite person here.

finallyhappy June 5, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=333254]SayItWithWookies[/re]: damn, you are good! And I have actually been to Sarnath where they say Buddha received enlightenment but obviously I did not!

WIDTAP June 5, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Let’s see. Epicanthal fold. Buck teeth. Buddhist garb (because the Catholics have no contemplative orders, of course). Yep – nothing racist against NewYoricans in that caricature.

dc-prof June 5, 2009 at 3:06 pm

Uh, she’s Catholic? This just may win the Stereotype Of The Year Award – offending TWO ethnic minority groups through a religious caricature.

snideinplainsight June 5, 2009 at 3:06 pm

If that’s what they think a fiery latina looks like, they’re not spending enough time watching Telemundo! Ai chihauhua, mamacita!

CockedAle June 5, 2009 at 3:07 pm


Monsieur Grumpe June 5, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Has National Review merged with Mad Magazine?

Come here a minute June 5, 2009 at 3:08 pm

I would hope that a wise Latina Buddha with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.

snideinplainsight June 5, 2009 at 3:14 pm

Diga esos ciervos sabios parar el mordiscar en mi loto.

¿Puedo conseguir un traje más grande aquí?

Tornillo Juan Goldberg.

WIDTAP June 5, 2009 at 3:14 pm

[re=333277]dc-prof[/re]: Well, the White House says she is only a Christmas/Easter/Baptisms Catholic, which is essentially the same as Buddhist, isn’t it?

SayItWithWookies June 5, 2009 at 3:15 pm

The confusion is easy to explain — it starts with the Phillippines, where many people have Spanish first names and Pacific Islander last names. Add to this the fact that many NR staffers probably have Fillipino/a nannies, cooks and housekeepers and the idea that one part of Asia is equal to any other part, and voila.

hobospacejunkie June 5, 2009 at 3:16 pm

[re=333235]Min[/re]: Tip toe through the tulips…

GreyPanter June 5, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Although we are daily being offended by “they all look the same” ignorance, let’s at least be thankful that the writers at NR at too young to remember Carmen Miranda.

Blender June 5, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Holy Fuck, NR couldn’t have played it any better – they portray a Messican as an Asian the same week Carradine (an Anglo who potrayed an Asian) strangles his nuts and neck in a hotel closet. However, should’ve added a bunch of extra arms.

AfghanVet June 5, 2009 at 3:18 pm

Come on…they are merely playing to their paying audience. Fox news does the same thing…Conservative Porn. And, what they communicate is about as truthful as porn…”I never thought it would happen to me…”

Conservatism in the media isn’t about governance, policy or ideology, it’s about market share and cost per half minute/page for advertising. Conservatism today is all about selfish enrichment.

assistant/atlas June 5, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Radical Muslims kill innocent civilians and radical Christians murder doctors, but radical Buddhists?

They just seem to want to meditate the fuck out of existence itself.

Team Buddhism, baby.

snideinplainsight June 5, 2009 at 3:19 pm

So, what was the “scoop”? Or, maybe the “scoop” was just to clean up after the deer?

gurukalehuru June 5, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Chinese and Mexican – America’s two favorite cuisines.

Never mind that she’s neither.

AllHat June 5, 2009 at 3:20 pm

[re=333281]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: that would be awesome. No, I’d miss Mad.

Lakergrrl June 5, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=333259]CorkPopper[/re]: somewhat

AfghanVet June 5, 2009 at 3:21 pm

[re=333293]assistant/atlas[/re]: Indeed…just sit.

x111e7thst June 5, 2009 at 3:22 pm

[re=333285]SayItWithWookies[/re]: In fact I have frequently woken from an alcohol and phenobarb induced stupor in some part of Asia or Puerto Rico, looked around at all those buck teeth and epicanthic folds and wondered just where the fuck I might be.

doxastic June 5, 2009 at 3:25 pm

I love that even with Kathryn Jean Lopez on staff, the NR staff had no damn idea what a ‘wise Latina’ could possibly be and were forced to go instead with the inscrutable bucktoothed Asian.

Cicada June 5, 2009 at 3:26 pm

So far we’ve had the “Magic Negro” and the “Wise Latina”. I eagerly await the release of the “Mystic Croatian” to complete my trading card collection.

Snap to it, NR!

Hooray For Anything June 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm

It’s a sad commentary on America when white males can’t be racially insensitive to Latinas and Asians both at the same time without being called racially insensitive. Liberal fascism strikes again.

stink, but June 5, 2009 at 3:32 pm

Listen, the point is that she’s ‘non-white.’ Speaking as a middle-class white dude, they’re all the same to me. Asiatic, negroid, mexicanista, whatever, the point is that Soto-mayor (which is how I pronounce her name in keeping with my proud ethnic tradition of just cold not giving a fuck about other ethnicities) hates the whites.

dijetlo June 5, 2009 at 3:33 pm

Has anybody run this past our New Benevolent and Eternal Chinese Overlords yet? I don’t really know how they’ll react to it except to say if Mao was still alive, we’d be getting nuked right now.

x111e7thst June 5, 2009 at 3:34 pm

[re=333293]assistant/atlas[/re]: Do a fairly effective job of wiping the floor with radical Hindus. Actually the Sinhalese are pretty mainstream in their Buddhism, but this seems to leave their combat effectiveness unimpaired.

CockedAle June 5, 2009 at 3:34 pm

[re=333281]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: That would be an grim fairy tale for the Re-puberty-cans.

AnnieGetYourFun June 5, 2009 at 3:38 pm

[re=333269]One Yield Regular[/re]: Well, Christ, man/girl, get drinking!

WIDTAP June 5, 2009 at 3:40 pm

[re=333309]dijetlo[/re]: Our Chinese Overlords claim that Buddhism and Tibet have always been part of China – the part that needs its ass kicked. All hail the Benevolent and Eternal Chinese Overlords.

AnnieGetYourFun June 5, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=333304]Cicada[/re]: [re=333263]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ooh, so much fun! It’s too bad they dropped the ball with Stephen Chu – we could have rounded out the bunch with “Smartypants Chinaman”. It’s too long, though, too many syllables.

smashtheduck June 5, 2009 at 3:43 pm

No sombrero? No doobie? No half-empty bottle of tequila? Not even one fucking donkey?11?!! If they’re going to continually confuse Puerto Rico with TJ; they really need to get their act together.

TGY June 5, 2009 at 3:45 pm

I suppose that when it comes to idiotic stereotypes, any idiotic stereotype will do. I guess they’re not antisymmetric, either.

norbizness June 5, 2009 at 3:47 pm

New slogan on the magazine cover: Bring us your poor, your terminally stupid, your huddle masses of crackers yearning to shake of the yoke of Brown people-oppression.

bago June 5, 2009 at 3:48 pm

All them brownies keep sayin we should stop bombing their asses and possibly should think for a while.


Mr Blifil June 5, 2009 at 3:52 pm

I can’t believe there’s an illustrator in existence who would submit that thing for editorial review. I mean it almost looks like that person made it through some form of art school.

AfghanVet June 5, 2009 at 3:54 pm

[re=333309]dijetlo[/re]: I think the Chinese prefer Confuscious or Lao Tze to Siddartha. While they claim Tibet, I don’t think they care much for Buddhism and I think Siddartha has more in common with the Indians than with the Chinese.

AfghanVet June 5, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=333349]Mr Blifil[/re]: I would like to have been a fly on the wall during the creative meeting.

“Here’s what we want…”

S.Luggo June 5, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Meh. They all look the same.

zenferret June 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm

[re=333281]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: NR, so lame it is funny. Mad, so lame it isn’t funny.

[re=333302]doxastic[/re]: Or is it because they have her on staff they have no idea?

gurukalehuru June 5, 2009 at 4:19 pm

I’m not worried about their portraying her as an Asian, but why did they have to make her so ugly.

Oh…never mind.

Prommie June 5, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Well, they are good at one thing; unintentional humor.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 5, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Sadly, I read the top head line as “Jonah Goldberg on his Crimes.” Which, when you think of it, would be a lot more interesting, although it might just detail how he set up a web cam in K-Lo’s bathroom.

1ofUS June 5, 2009 at 4:46 pm

Jonah: “Mommy says my critics are all just jealous cuz I get to have her as my mommy and they don’t: so there! bplblpbpbpbplblppbb!”

RubberSoul June 5, 2009 at 4:49 pm

Now the GOP is just showing off: “Hey look at us! We can offend two vital minority voting blocs…AT THE SAME TIME!!!”

bitchincamaro June 5, 2009 at 4:50 pm

Meh. Every Puerto Rican I’ve ever known calls anyone with the slant-eyes, “Chinese”.

fuckinredneck June 5, 2009 at 5:32 pm

She needs to karate chop someone. Preferably a black lady.

Bruno June 5, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Since they are also brown, and therefore all the same un-real americans, why not pick an Indian God. I’d pick hindu goddess Annupurna.

FlownOver June 5, 2009 at 6:34 pm

That top line,” Jonah Goldberg on His Critics,” was really misleading. I bought a copy expecting a photo spread confirming Goldberg is a top.

jimstoic June 5, 2009 at 6:45 pm

I can hardly imagine anything in the realm of government more wonderful than having a Buddhist on the Supreme Court.

StoneAge June 5, 2009 at 9:11 pm

This isn’t the first the they’ve offended the inscrutables:

Unfortunately the googles fail me and I cannot summon a pic of the actual cover.

Is there any way we can make it a trilogy?

Country Club Jihadi June 5, 2009 at 11:01 pm

Dalai La-Raza

Marlowe June 5, 2009 at 11:46 pm

Blender, you beat me to it.

Marlowe June 5, 2009 at 11:53 pm

I see that Jonah has his say:
We’re less racist than you pig leftists:

Marlowe June 6, 2009 at 12:04 am
donner_froh June 6, 2009 at 1:18 am

[re=333263]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Which isn’t that far from Pancho Villa or even Blanca Canales

patrickhenry June 6, 2009 at 1:20 am

what she’s a racist,doesn’t understand the 2nd ammendment and she belongs to a group that want’s to take over 1/5 of the u.s. by force,why is she not in jail

x111e7thst June 6, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=333649]patrickhenry[/re]: You should be typing ALL IN CAPS. For Jesus.

WIDTAP June 7, 2009 at 6:23 pm

[re=333649]patrickhenry[/re]: Well that cover wins: Slant-eyed, Buck toothed AND a coolly hat.

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