Wonkette
Kim Capello, the married heterosexual male county commissioner from Nowheresville, Michigan, electrified the Republican party this spring when police allegedly caught him having naked sex with an adult lady, in public. “I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” he later told reporters, in a clear show of remorse for not having been caught in a fur suit soliciting sex from teenage boys.
Anyway, Capello faced up to 93 days in jail for indecent exposure, but it looks like he’ll “just” get two years to complete various probation-related duties (alcohol and drug testing, community service etc.) after pleading guilty to acts he maintains he did not perform.
That gives him plenty of time to gear up for a 2012 presidential run, filling that crucial and as yet unoccupied niche of “Republican men who appear to enjoy non-procreative sex with women.” (Romney and Huckabee obviously do not count, because one has android sperm and the other only has sex with pies, to impregnate them.)
Probation for Novi Republican caught up in sidewalk sex bust [The Oakland Press]
Ha, I caught this last night.
Read between the lines - and the comments. The guy was apparently into golden showers. Win!
Republican Kim Capello denied being nude when appeared before 52-1 District Judge Dennis Powers on allegations Novi police caught him in a sexual encounter with 37-year-old Novi resident, Sheila Grogan, in April in the downtown area.
No ma’am, I was not nude…. I was wearing a dog collar and crotchless leather pants.
But did Jeebus cum in his heart?
Oh, whatever.
True story: Novi is Novi because Michiganders cannot read Roman numerals and thus didn’t realize the marking on the map was No. VI.
My apologies if this was covered in previous comments. Always used to love Novi because that’s where 12 Oaks Mall was.
Serolf Divad: Typical liberal media exaggeration. He was wearing assless chaps a la David Lee Roth, not crotchless leather.
From Nowheresville, in a “State of Undress,” in the Uri-nation, or possibly in-Continent? Wonkette really improves my geography.
Jeezus people! For the last freakin’ time, I was not nude. I don’t even know where these rumors get started. I was, for the most part, clothed, lying down on my back, enjoying what the more sophisticated members of society refer to as a “Douche D’Or.” How this became, of all things, a police matter, I simply cannot say.
He’s straight
He mates
Get used to it.
But the golden showers kink is, um, …troubling.
But still, folks, this is regular het sex…nothing to see here….move along.
So I was walking down the street, and there was this prostitute, and, um, I fell in.
“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time”
Translates to:
My dick was in the right place at the wrong time.
This analysis misses the crucial urination angle. Either he was peeing on the naked lady while he himself was naked, or they just hanging out (naked) post-coitus and he took the opportunity to piss while already disrobed, for convenience. Which, honestly, is way funnier than a mere golden shower.
Public heterosexual sex? Are we sure he’s a Republican? He can’t be a Libertarian; they reproduce asexually through spores after arriving at an excited state by reading Atlas Shrugged.
hobospacejunkie: Sophisticated members? In Michigan? Who knew.
Still having control problems, commissioner?
Jennifer Granholm has a sad because Kim Capello isn’t peeing on, I mean, near her. She hasn’t been this sad since Obama passed her over for the Supreme Court.
http://www.dyspathy.com
I bet you don’t get to use the header “annals of justice” with the extra n all that often when you write Republican sex stories, do you?
Republican Kim Capello denied being nude when appeared before 52-1 District Judge Dennis Powers on allegations Novi police caught him in a sexual encounter with 37-year-old Novi resident, Sheila Grogan, in April in the downtown area.
Well, duh, it is generally a pretty bad idea to appear in court naked.
He will resign and give the usual response: I’ve decided I’d like to spend more time with the naked lady I was caught with.
I guess that when you have your shirt off, your genitals exposed, and you’re banging a woman on brick wall while drunk when the police show up you could rationally say that you were “in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Oh comeon! He was practicing for a play with the Novi Theater Players. He was just showing his “friend” his role as the Manneken Pis in Novi Theater Players Presents: “Pageant of Living Art.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Manneken_Pis_(crop).jpg
Cape Clod: Or that he was taken “out of context”.
TheNavOne: Alternately he could get with Vito Fosella and found a new political party, which would be just like the Republicans, but without the boybanging.
Sounds like he’s a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.
Oh, I get it now. He wasn’t just naked; he was nekkid.
If he only had sense enough to wear diapers
every thing would be cool
This is what public toilets are for, people.
norbizness: Republican males refer to this as “taking one for the team.”
Formerly Preferred: Always used to love Novi because that’s where 12 Oaks Mall was.
Which I guess is the future site of Xiioaks, Michigan?
Michigan performance art is not for everyone.
Kim. Lindsey. Will parents please, for the love of jeebus, stop giving your boys girly names? No. As you were. It obviously helps produce a sweet batch next batch of closet case, golden showering, diaper wearing repubtards.
Min: Naked= you don’t have any clothes on.
Nekkid= you don’t have any clothes on and you’re up to somethin’.
The article fails to mention whether Kwami Kilpatrick, Eliot Spitzer, Don Sherwood, Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Gary Hart or David Carradine were involved in this incident.
This gives a whole new meaning to “constituent services.”
Scrodd: Senator Craig?
Shouldn’t the tag really read: Anals of Justice?
x111e7thst: Maybe that’s the bold step they have to take for the future of the party. I’m just not sure their ready to take such a radical approach.
Today we are all Busted For Sidewalk Sex.
I wish.
Capello should go after that Oakland rag for libel. It did NOT happen on a sidewalk.
***
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Detroit News
“A Novi police officer found Capello and the woman, Sheila Grogan, engaged in a consensual sex act on a 3-foot tall brick wall …”
***
So there!
I’ve done that! Except there was no adult lady present. Or anybody else, except me.
Are you sure he is a Republican? Do we have any proof that he wasn’t with a tranny prostitute?
And the wife is standing by her man. What schmucks- both of them
smashtheduck: Amen, Smash. What kind of a man could he possibly be, especially since on his birth certificate — which he will not release, and what’s up with that? — Kim is short for Kimberly.
Lewd conduct, urinating in public, 3 prior arrests for drunk driving, for a second there I was doubting his republican traditional values cred.
“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” I guess his wife believed him. This could also be said for the last President, although for different reasons.
Son of a bitch. If I lived, like 3/4 of a mile west of where I live, I’d be in this guy’s district. I could run against him. I think I could take him. Uh, er, beat him. I mean, defeat him. I could make the pie higher…
How a person can do such type of indescent act. He or she may have some mental problems. The court should order to check that only.
What is with these stupid republican men and their girly names? Kim? Lindsay? Newt? Scratch Newt. God knows what the fuck he is.
Sweet