Wonkette
Hey did you know that if you are a failure at third grade, the government just assumes that you’ll be a criminal forever? No? Well good, because that isn’t true anyhow. For many moons, Democratic candidates have repeated this old saw about states using third-grade reading scores as a predictor for how many prison beds they’ll need in 15 years. This sounds like exactly the sort of sad, spooky metric that governments would use to determine how doomed its citizens are, but apparently nobody actually uses it.
Barry R. Green, director of Virginia’s Juvenile Justice Department, said that when officials draw up six-year plans for how much prison space the state will need, they rely on factors that include arrest and conviction trends, but not test scores or any other education data. A policy group convened at the end of the process discusses general social issues, Green added.
Well that is not very chilling AT ALL.
We heard that the National Furry Convention uses the most recent general election returns to determine where they should hold their next quadrennial meeting. Reddest county in America wins. Tell your friends!
In Politics, Fact, Fancy Can Blur in Keystroke [Washington Post]
Okay, but Yale still uses the third grade failure rate to determine how many legacy admissions they’ll need space for in nine years.
I know 3rd grade math test scores are a pretty good indication of who gets laid more often in high school. Unfortunately, there is no direct relationship between high math scores and lots of action.
Sounds kind of boring, actually. Maybe this prison-futures-estimation could be a good job for Meghan McCain?
If officials had any sense they would correlate future FurryCons with changes in patterns of dog ownership before making any hasty decisions about prison space.
In Virginia, they figure everyone will be in jail at one point or another anyway, so no need to get all fancy with the mathamatatics.
After yesterday’s flurry of furry news… sigh… sad and boring and slow news day.
ManchuCandidate: there is a correlation, but it is inverse and geometric.
ManchuCandidate: Au contraire! There is an direct negative linear correlation between one’s math score and the action one gets (I know ’cause I calculated it to figure out why I never got laid in high school).
And don’t they just hold the annual furry con in Lindsey Graham’s back yard?
And you especially can’t use the data from California schools, because I skipped the 3rd grade, which obviously skewed the data from the control group downward into the toilet, which explains why 80% of Californians should be incarcerated if they aren’t already.
So something I never heard of isn’t true? OK, thanks.
I believe that is the squirrel that ate half of my deck and some of the lead flashing on my stack pipe. I also know he’s not ripe yet because he’s not red thanks to some very intelligent Wonkette poster. Thanks Mark Trail or whoever you are.
Hey, I know that squirrel. He breaks into my outdoor birdseed container on a weekly basis.
Is it International Talk Like A Pirate Squirrel Day already?
Newborns DNA now determine whether the state will allow an infant to live for the sole purpose of paying taxes in adulthood.
Min: Are your nuts presently being hijacked?
That is bizarre. My daughter’s standardized test scores from third grade got her into weekend classes at Milton Academy for the past few years. That also struck me as sort of random…..she’s very bright, I’m just glad she tested well on that particular day.
Whew! Thank God I stayed back in the second grade!
SayItWithWookies: “Okay, but Yale still uses the third grade failure rate to determine how many legacy admissions they’ll need space for in nine years.”
Naw, those kids go to places with names like “country day school” and start getting gentleman’s C’s from first grade. Legacy kids don’t flunk.
Naw, they just stopped using third grade scores as an indicator of future criminality because these days the really rotten third graders have already dropped out and are selling crack, robbing liquor stores and waging gang warfare. The ones who have stayed in school are gonna be alright. (A little scared, maybe, but alright in the long run.)
ManchuCandidate: Oh there is a direct inverse correlation.
See I used the fancy proper mathematical words so you know I didn’t get laid much.
Beau Radley:
So you neither eh?
The Rev. Yevot:
So I’m amongst peers.
Who the fuck cares? David Carradine is dead. Am i banned now?
Monsieur Grumpe:
I think that squirrel has been up in the parking lot of my apartment building, too. He ate the wiring on the top of my car’s engine FOUR times until my mechanic wrapped all the wires in flex conduit. Could have been a rat, too, I guess, but I prefer to think it was a squirrel.
I can’t even count the number of times I have gotten laid. ……see what I did there
David Carradine is dead.
Ah, jeez. Now my dead wife will be stalking him in Heaven and/or Hell.
Seems like some politician’s 3rd grade test scores predicted that they should be in jail simply for parading teh stooooopeds or teh crazies for far too long. Bachman, Palin, Inhofe, Todd Aiken et al: I’m looking esp at you. Also. Wink.
Apparently Virginia has been using third-graders for years to design its road system in Northern Virginia.
zenferret, et al: ditto (though having access to booze in high school can get you pretty far)
dave666: wakka wakka wakka
Perhaps the Furpublicans are actually being controlled by this, rather than their stupid old Talking Points, which is so 90’s anyway.
Bonus: it’s called a Pluff, which may be a clue since the White House is controlled by one, also!
Noodle Salad: That’s due to the much more accurate corollary: No pussy in high school= asshole cop
thefrontpage: Finally! An explanation for Jermantown Rd.
I thought Virginia used a mixture of Algebra and the paper bag test for these statistics….much like Wonkette’s Win Of The Afternoon.
GinnyRED57: Didn’t he get Obama elected? David Pluff?
smashtheduck: And the Seven Corners intersection where I live
I know that squirrel. He’s why I bought my cat body armor.
zenferret: And when you pet him, he smiles and looks happy and sends you to Muslin countries. But don’t piss him off, or Happy Fun Plouffe disappears YOU.
Bandito Squirrelo
Pirate squirrels. God damn America.
In Texas they look at how many of them darkies they got and build that many cells.
Wait, so a frequently repeated tidbit of information that sounds marginally plausible turns out to be false? I’m SOO CONFUSED :-/