Former AIG Building Will Likely Be Sold For $100 A Square Foot

by Sara K. Smith

Sold, to a foreigner probablyIs that insanely cheap for commercial real estate? Seems like! Anyhow, the haunted million-square-foot carcass of the former AIG headquarters at 70 Pine and 72 Wall Street in beautiful New York City appears to have found a buyer for the bargain-basement price of $100 million. Who’s the lucky winner, Donald Trump? The Cato Institute? The buyers “would have been carefully vetted,” a source told the New York Post, from which we can conclude it’s just Tom Daschle wasting the last of his lunch money. [New York Post]

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Larry McAwful June 3, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Sounds good to me. I’ll take three square feet. Where do I send the check?

Inadequate Blackmail June 3, 2009 at 12:24 pm

If I’d only heard about this sooner, 3 square feet of that bitch would have been mine! Just need enough space to keel over and die on.

ManchuCandidate June 3, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Vetted like a Subprime Mortgage Security!

thefrontpage June 3, 2009 at 12:27 pm

Someone said it’s going to be either a Starbucks, a CVS, or an Olive Garden–you know, because we don’t have enough of those already.

Crab1 June 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm

Can I assume that every Wonkette commenter has an extra $300? I’d rather spend my $300 on a new bong and some Northern Lights.

Inadequate Blackmail June 3, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=330822]Larry McAwful[/re]: Well, damn. Maybe we could go in together and they’d cut us a deal. 7 square feet for the price of 6.

Paterlanger June 3, 2009 at 12:30 pm

Carefully vetted? What, as in they’ll be paying with cash?

octupletsmom June 3, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Anchor of New Chinatown?

SayItWithWookies June 3, 2009 at 12:33 pm

“The buyers would have been carefully vetted because neither AIG nor the brokers at CB Richard Ellis want to have egg on their faces”

Well of course — AIG has a reputation to protect, and they certainly don’t want to be known for diving into a deal without being aware of the consequences.

CockedAle June 3, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Combo Hummer Showroom and Harvest Christian Fellowship megachurch.

ProfessorJukes June 3, 2009 at 12:37 pm

The only biz that’s up in this economy is either porn or booze. So I’m hoping a ‘full-service’ bar/resort/IMAX porn theater… with Swinger’s Suites. Elliot Spitzer will be your Activities Director.

Come here a minute June 3, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Sichuan Tengzhong Heavy Industrial Machinery Company will be building Hummers there.

WadISay June 3, 2009 at 12:39 pm

If they’re selling trade fixtures, I would be interested in the solid gold urinals and the alter where they sacrificed recent Harvard MBAs in front of an image of Gordon Gekko.

Min June 3, 2009 at 12:41 pm

appears to have found a buyer for the bargain-basement price of $100 million

You mean they’re getting the whole building for the price of the basement? That’s some shrewd haggling, right there. Do you think the new owners would have time to run GM?

Larry Fine June 3, 2009 at 12:43 pm

Former Governor Spitzer’s real estate company bought it, and will turn it into a classy brothel.

Noodle Salad June 3, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Mark Penn is setting up the new Bowser’s castle after MariObama blew up the last one.

Mild Midwesterner June 3, 2009 at 12:46 pm

That makes Manhattan real estate cheaper than my house in DC. Apparently DC really is now the world’s financial capital. How depressing.

Larry McAwful June 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=330833]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: I’m game. Maybe we could open a newspaper stand, and then apply for a bailout.

lizard scum June 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=330845]ProfessorJukes[/re]: Don’t forget fast food services for the “resort.” Imagine a food court, but no mall!

StoneAge June 3, 2009 at 12:48 pm

Wait, I thought we each owned a piece of it already. When do we move in? Or do we each get a Pontiac, I forget.

DC Hates Me June 3, 2009 at 12:49 pm

I’m pretty sure the Cato Institute is a front group for poor crazed unsexed losers.

ForTheTurnstiles June 3, 2009 at 12:54 pm

[re=330866]DC Hates Me[/re]: Poor crazed unsexed MALE losers. Poor crazed unsexed FEMALE losers have what? Oprah? Eckardt Tolle?

SayItWithWookies June 3, 2009 at 12:56 pm

China’s buying it — they’re going to use it to quarantine all their swine flu cases.

ManchuCandidate June 3, 2009 at 12:58 pm

[re=330857]Larry Fine[/re]:
Definitely a higher class of tenant than AIG.

TGY June 3, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Al Qaeda really did need an office in New York.

drftjgoj June 3, 2009 at 1:04 pm

It’s probably AON, since they also took over AIG’s sponsorship of Manchester United. And think of the savings in only needing to replace two letters on all the signs!

bitchincamaro June 3, 2009 at 1:06 pm

The roof,
the roof,
the roof is on fire.
Burn, motherfucker, burn.

Monsieur Grumpe June 3, 2009 at 1:11 pm

How many bathrooms?

paintitblack June 3, 2009 at 1:14 pm

I heard Dickhead Cheney’s “new” company, Xe, is buying it for knock-out pricing…

4tehlulz June 3, 2009 at 1:19 pm

It’s Hummer China’s new US headquarters.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 3, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Regents Law School, natch. Since they got kicked out of DC and all.

SayItWithWookies June 3, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=330918]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Wait — they need more than a PO Box?

Bruno June 3, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Can’t the US Government hire a bunch of jihadis to bring the thing down, or use some kind of super secret controlled implosion?

It’s gotta be insured for more than $100/sq foot.

(but send out a super secret twitter to all the Jews to make sure they don’t show up for work that day)

Mr Blifil June 3, 2009 at 1:38 pm

[re=330837]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That one leapt out at me too. The stuff just seems to write itself doesn’t it?

Mr Blifil June 3, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=330951]Bruno[/re]: How little you seem to know about the melting point of steel.

tacodaemon June 3, 2009 at 2:10 pm

That’s an awesome Art Deco building with gothic influences, one of my favorites in the city. (I think the building in the photo Sara put up there is AIG’s London headquarters, not the NYC one.)

tacodaemon June 3, 2009 at 2:11 pm

Also the building was originally built in the 30s as Citgo’s headquarters (some oldsters still call it the Cities Service Building). Maybe Hugo Chavez will want it back.

TeddyS June 3, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Bernie Madoff is handling the sale from his cell. Promises a nice 40 percent annual profit for all who invest early.

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