- Jonah Goldberg, the fellow who harnessed the powers of alchemy to transmutate his vomit into a New York Times best-seller, is — surprise surprise — a flaming Trekkie. [The Corner]
- Nazi sympathizer Barack Obama wants to visit Dresden, the capital of East Germany. Fine. But he better not say anything about that time we melted Dresden with giant fireballs from the sky, because we’re not sorry and we’d, like, totally do it again. [Power Line]
- Some lady on the Internet has concluded, “Aspirations for a career, independence, and individuality are in competition with a female’s deep and permanent biological makeup.” The National Organization for Women now will present Congress with a revised Equal Rights Amendment protecting every young wife’s biological right to a Valium prescription. [Right Wing News]
- A certain Burger King in Tennessee knows a thing or two about Global Warming: namely that it is a sack of crap conjured up by the Elders of Zion. [AMERICAblog]
- Speaking at the National Press Club, Bullshitter Dick Cheney opened with an aggressive 9/11 Gambit, at which point black should have played the Logic Defense. Acutely aware of his tactically superior position, Cheney was able to move his pawn up to the eighth rank, where he exchanged it for “THE IRAQ WAR SAVED LIVES.” Checkmate. 1-0. [Think Progress]
May 27, 2012
Barack Obama Blames The Dresden Firebombings On Global Warming
by Riley Waggaman 2:51 pm June 2, 2009
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{ 52 comments }
Burger King does its part to deal with global warming… they are killing as many methane-farting cows as quickly as they can! Flame-broiling those fart-machines!!
Global warming might be baloney, but that hot flame-broiled taste comes from pure beef patties.
Riley, welcome to Washington. Now learn the difference between capital and capitol. kthxbai.
What’s left for Cheney to say now? “You can’t handle the truth”? Cribbing your speech lines from “A Few Good Men” isn’t going to make Aaron Sorkin very happy.
when i first read the burger king thingy, i thought it said ‘Miserable Investment Corporation’…
Speaking for Trekkies everywhere: Jonah Goldberg can go to Grethor. The entire Vulcan race would neck pinch him to death for the brutalization of logic that was that giant-oil-slick-that-killed-Tasha-Yar of a book.
Dresden was a small city anyhow…
There is nothing in the world more psycho right wing than a franchisee owner/operator, next to whom Dick Cheney is a flower child. Walk into that BK and tell him that his store is being seized by Obama in the name of The People and watch the funz.
Permanent makeup?! Bring it, Internet Lady!
Wait…does it involve tattoos?
firebombing=urban renewal, deal with it, Nazis!
“Capital” young Riley, not “capitol”. This blog is descending into Republican territory, spelling-wise.
When the internet lady spoke of “a female’s deep and permanent biological makeup” she’s talking about lip and eyebrow tattoos. Valium is optional. In Caribou Babs’ case, power is enough of a drug.
[re=330051]Mr Blifil[/re]:
…with lovely hard paste porcelain.
So J-Gold’s a trekkie?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellen-ladowsky/pedophilia-and-star-trek_b_5857.html
In other words, not all Trekkies are child molesters, but nearly all child molesters are Trekkies. Or, as John Stuart Mill put it, “Not all conservative people are stupid but most stupid people are conservative,” or something.
Or something.
“Until females begin to embrace their inherent biological programming..”
Does this involve blowjobs/buttsex? Because if not I don’t see why I should care.
Ignorance is bliss, ladies.
[re=330051]Mr Blifil[/re]: So it goes.
I think it’s great that Intern Juli (still in the masthead) is using the hilarious psuedonym “Riley Waggaman”. Where’d you come up with that one, and the goofy stock photo of the dork in the top hat?
(Ha ha, j/k, :->, etc., etc.)
[re=330052]WadISay[/re]: Threaten retrofitting into the Blue Hill of Memphis…
Would you like chicom arugula and marxist stone-ground dijon mustard on your dry-aged boutique-abbatoired tri-cut hamburg steak sandwich today, with tasso demi-glace?
Global warming denialists, having the Burger King on your side is not going to help; he is very creepy.
So Cheney’s basically saying that we had to destroy a country, our military, parts of our economy, our international reputation, and rule of law in order to save it.
[re=330078]JMP[/re]:
Especially the white tights with the seat full o’ sesame seeds.
War is Peace,” “Freedom is Slavery,” “Ignorance is Strength”
And Truth is Lies.
And is Riley a flaming chess geek? Budapest gambit enthusiasts want to know…
[re=330069]x111e7thst[/re]: Also “drive through meat munching.” Also.
I think it is about time that the MSM finally report that not only is the Burger King of the Hebrew persuasion but so is Colonel Sanders.
We need to get Cheney a pair of Cartman mirror glasses if he is going to continue to ride around on his bigwheel, screaming “Respect my authoratay!”
Mirable (MIC) is just pissed because its BKs couldn’t hope to compete with down-home Memphis BBQ. At all. Ever. Also.
[re=330048]Vulpes82[/re]: It’s surprising, since the Federation is society where socialism has solved everyone’s problems. But then, doesn’t Jo-Go want to become a Borg?
Dear Mr. Obama: DON’T MENTION THE WAR!
Of all the words that could possibly follow “flaming” when describing J-Glo, “Trekkie” wasn’t even in my Top 100.
[re=330104]JMP[/re]: Probably more The Dominion. I can so see him as a Vorta who just loves it when a Changeling beats him with a pseudopod for being not exterminating enough dissidents or something. /nerds out
[re=330120]Vulpes82[/re]: The Dominion??? You newbies!
Dresden wasn’t the capitol, or capital, of East Germany:Moscow was. I wonder if I can still convert my Ost-Marks to Euros? All the aluminum coins might be worth more to a recycling bin than anything else.
East Berlin was the capital of East Germany though Moscow really called the shots.
Dresden was the capital only of a small region – the district of Dresden.
But yeah Billy Pilgrim, we did bomb the crap out of it. Don’t get unstuck.
No criez, n0bama! Dresden was all Churchill’s fault and the British Royal Family gave munnies to help rebuild the Frauenkirche, because they felt kinda shitty about that.
Everyone’s completely over it, so just go to the local brewery restaurant in Dresden. I recommend the pork ribs.
[re=330148]FormerDCite[/re]: [re=330184]zenferret[/re]: I believe the young man was being a tad facetious. For the record, Barack Obama is also not a known Nazi sympathiser, nor did Dick Cheney play chess the other day, etc.
[re=330194]wheelie[/re]: Yes, the Snark Force is strong in young Riley.
[re=330194]wheelie[/re]: I was confused by the complete non funny of calling Dresden the capital. Plenty of other funny there but not that.
In fairness to the New York Times any idiot that says that Democrats are really Socialist Baby Killers ™ will get on their list as most Conservatives have locked out every channel but FOX News and TBN, and haven’t figured out this internet thingy yet and are too afraid to talk to the local crazy homeless guy so that they can get Conservative punditry for free.
But if we have to read Goldberg, shouldn’t you mention the most important part of his post? “I’m a lot closer to Cheney’s position on gay marriage than many of colleagues around here[.]” Do I hear wedding bells in the future for Jonah and K-LO?
[re=330069]x111e7thst[/re]: That article was TL;DR.
Looking at the comments, it can be summed up thus, in the Cro-Magnon cant that wingers can relate to:
Men STRONG. Women WEAK. Men kill animals. Women cook animals. UNNGH!
Dear God, Riley. They made you read Power Line, The Corner, and Right Wing News all in one day? I hope that they have given you a cushy health plan, or at least a 12 volt car battery that you can use to give yourself electro-shock when you go home at night. There are safe workplace laws, man!
[re=330220]President Beeblebrox[/re]: This arguement is usu made by little potbellied creeps with forarms like chickenwings and sunken chests. If these mighty heros of the keyboard ever encountered an actual animal they would probs have palpitations and need to lie down for a while.
Mr. Prez’dent, don’t apologize for America. Accidents happen.
I can’t think of a single reason Cheney would continue to dredge up that tired bullshit. YOu know, except for the $100k speaking fees he gets for addressing wingnuts.
Obama’s apology list of American atrocities, to the world:
- Bombing of Dresden
- Prolonging Vietnam war
- “We Built This City” by Starship
- Invasion of Iraq
- Abu Ghraib
Obviously, there is only one in that list that he really needs to grovel for.
[re=330242]wheelie[/re]: What about “the Hills?”
Dear Ms. Kristia Cavere: direct from my ovaries to yours, FUCK OFF. kthnxbai.
If pregnant, barefoot and in the kitchen is what all wingnut ladies are programmed to be, that should make Ann Coulter, Pug Malkin and that bargain basement Coulter knock off, Laura Ingraham, very, very sad.
[re=330086]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I enjoy a good game of chess.
Anyone remember the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the evil scorpion parasites infected Starfleet, and Riker and Picard had to blow a guy’s head up with their phasers to kill the Queen Parasite?
Yeah, that’s Jonah Goldberg.
Or, to borrow from another science-fiction series: “Throw him out an airlock. We don’t keep Republicans around here, Lieutenant.”
Hey, now…in Tennessee, baloney isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I know for a fact that you can get an excellent baloney sandwich at the convenience mart in Bucksnort.
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