Jeffrey Rosen Quits The Internet

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The Internet has hurt the important feelings of the important “Joe Lieberman Liberal” New Republic political pamphlet’s important legal scholar Jeffrey Rosen, whose very important 1,000+ word front-page non-blog journalistically reported “The Case Against Sotomayor”-titled news article — which quotes various important anonymous ex-clerks calling Sotomayor dumb and mean and friendless and annoying — has of course become the GOP’s principal anti-Sotomayor talking points memo. This is not what he meant. Fuck the blogs!

Rosen has now declared that he will never “blog” again because he “wants to spend more time with the material before hitting ‘send,’” and the medium of a Web log — a format for publishing pieces of writing that appear on a website in reverse-chronological order — only permits someone three seconds to write and post anything, of any merit, because by the fourth second a dung monster will be dispatched to one’s house to roast and eat all immediate family members and generally make a mess of things.

Shorter version: WAH WAH WAH.

When federal appeals court Judge Sonia Sotomayor emerged as a leading candidate to be named to the U.S. Supreme Court this spring, one Web article above all drove debate about her merits.

The article was used to bash the judge’s prospects even before her formal nomination. But its author, the noted legal writer Jeffrey Rosen, says he’s been burned by the episode, too — enough that he’s swearing off blogging for good.

 
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“It was a short Web piece,” Rosen says now, sounding a little shellshocked. “I basically thought of it as a blog entry.”

Well we basically thought of it as, cue that up again, a “1,000+ word front-page non-blog journalistically reported ‘The Case Against Sotomayor’-titled news article,” which his magazine categorized as “the first in a series of reports by TNR legal affairs editor Jeffrey Rosen about the strengths and weaknesses of the leading candidates on Barack Obama’s Supreme Court shortlist.” Definitive! This is a tit-bit different than, say, making fun of a Gallup headline or calling Dick Cheney a homo, although Republicans are welcome to use either of those very important blog posts in their case against Sotomayor. (Page views!)

‘Blog Entry’ Sparks Furor Over Sotomayor [NPR via Glenn Greenwald]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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90 comments

  1. Advocatus_Diaboli

    And since nothing more than the tip of the penis entered Rosen’s anus, it wasn’t really buttsecks.

  2. Scandalabra

    My three year old claimed he would never poop on the toilet again cuz he missed the first time. I told him we would just work on it.

  3. x111e7thst

    [re=329478]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: And since Rosen continued to insist he didn’t like it Rosen was not ghey.

  4. Serolf Divad

    It’s a good start, but to be honest, I won’t be satisfied until he joins a Tibetan monastery, takes a vow of silence and is never seen or heard from again.

  5. chascates

    The ‘send’ button, open microphones, ‘reply to all.’ Modern life is just full of landmines.

  6. mollymcguire

    [re=329478]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]:[re=329481]x111e7thst[/re]: In for an inch, in for a mile.

  7. rereridiculous

    You never know. When Sojomiata is rejected by the Senate and Rosen himself is nominated in her place, this very blog post will prevent him from becoming a justice.

  8. DustBowlBlues

    [re=329495]El Pinche[/re]: I have no idea what your comment is about, but if it was talking shit about the gaylords, I’m cool on it.

  9. S.Luggo

    A blog means:
    1. My words are invisible, I am like the wind.
    2. I got a case of crazy-digits. My fingers wrote it, not me.
    3. Never having to say you’re sorry.

    What a bunt.

  10. Neilist

    WAIT a MINUTE!!!

    Since when is “calling Dick Cheney a homo” NOT journalistically reported news information in the National Interest?

    Did they change the rules AGAIN???

  11. rambone

    It’s because of just these sort of misunderstandings that I communicate only by carrier pigeon.

  12. Hopey dont play that game

    I would comment but Bill Ayers keeps watching me. He and ACORN live in my pantry. Vote Ron Paul.

  13. iolanthe

    “has of course become the GOP’s principle anti-Sotomayor talking points memo.”

    That’s “principal”, not “principle.” No need for folks here to start abusing the language as if we were Republicans.

  14. DustBowlBlues

    Having a hard time laughing today. The news is such shite, that Jeffrey Rosen getting his feelings hurt don’t matter much. I think it’s time for Sara to post a thread about Dr. Tiller. I’m thinking I’m not the only wonkeratti-ette with some rage today. Time to talk about domestic terrorism? Maybe the youthful Riley can make it funny. If he’s a woman.

  15. V572625694

    This Rosen guy is brilliant: you send an email to the cell phone company saying, “Die you rotten cocksuckers I’m coming to blow up your office at 415 Elm Street tomorrow at Nine!1!!!1!!” and when the FBI comes to arrest you, you say, “I thought it was a blog!”

  16. Scandalabra

    Blogging ruined my life too. Before I left a comment here I was the CEO of a major media company making $10,000,000 a year. Now I am washed up.

  17. V572625694

    [re=329520]Scandalabra[/re]: Ha ha!

    Ever wonder who writes all the copy in the Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog? “The finest nose-hair trimmers ever made, this fine item of cutlery…”

    Imagine you get your MFA from the Writers’ Workshop in Iowa, move to New York, and tell your family you got a job writing for a major, glossy periodical.

    “Which one is it, Jennifer? The New Yorker? Seventeen? The New Republic?

    “Uh, not exactly, Mom.”

  18. Lazy Media

    [re=329504]Jim Newell[/re]: Not fair. He should be banned for misspelling “your,” but otherwise feted and celebrated.

  19. Cicada

    [re=329517]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I actually met Dr. Tiller during my stint as an assistant baby killer at Planned Parenthood, so I can’t think of a way to make that topic have teh funneh. But I suspect that the Wonkette could rise to the challenge. Don’t know if I can laugh yet, though.

    The chardonnay is catching up wit me, I’m afraid.
    :(.

  20. hobospacejunkie

    Is this Jeffrey Rosen-Rosen, Rosenpenis or Cocktosten? I get them confused.

    Either way, he & Olbermann should join the He-man Blog-haters Club so they can be righteously butt hurt about the terrible blogs and how they’re ruining real journalism (TNR, Wonkette, Gawker.) Except when they’re (hypocritically?) praising them (teablogging, that chick who discovered how many times they waterboarded that one guy by, you know, reading the govt report.)

  21. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=329532]hobospacejunkie[/re]: For the sake of America, Waterboarding should be a self-inflicted daily ritual. It would save water over showering. Also.

  22. Hunger Tallest Palin

    From now on he will be pflogging, which might seem to be exactly like blogging but it isn’t and you’re a doo-doo head for saying so!

  23. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Added Rosen “I’m going back to finish my story on Obama’s birth certificate. I have tweleve anonymous sources that swear he is really a white guy born in Moscow as part of a secret superman breading program under Khrushchev. Nobody is going to doubt my credibility once this is printed!”

  24. S.Luggo

    – But its author, the noted legal writer Jeffrey Rosen, says he’s been burned by the episode, too —
    A nation mourns for you.

  25. tunamelt

    [re=329534]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I think we have to use 15% less water in our waterboarding in California, now, starting today.

  26. El Pinche

    [re=329524]Lazy Media[/re]: Haha. I wish I could say I did that on purpose.
    [re=329504]Jim Newell[/re]: as Michael Steele would say, ‘just keepin it rizzzam, my wizzle’

  27. WadISay

    Ohgod I think I have E-D ‘cuz I caught the geh at the beach last weekend and I hate my goddam wife but maybe it’s because I’m stealing from my employer and I can’t finish my work on the death ray in my basement. SEND

    What?

  28. imissopus

    [re=329524]Lazy Media[/re]: I read that as “fellated and celebrated” and I’m okay with that.

  29. S.Luggo

    [re=329547]El Pinche[/re]: Or, “drizzle my sizzle.”

    That was either pornographic or pure Julia Child.

    But who cares? The Republican Party is now the Big Tent.

    This is:
    A. Irony
    B. Sarcasm
    B. An effect of going off Respirdal

  30. assistant/atlas

    [re=329478]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: It’s like reality somehow pierced his media bubble butt.

    [re=329520]Scandalabra[/re]: …and that, children, is why Jeff Zucker is still running NBC.

  31. bitchincamaro

    A shot of Scotch in the bottom of your bowl, will transform your normally bland Hagen Dazs, immeasurably.

    See my 1000+ word recipe here, tomorrow.

    *hic*

  32. Mr Blifil

    [re=329547]El Pinche[/re]: Steele rarely evokes street patois. He’s much more likely to be saying things like, “May I hold that door for you Mr. Tancredo?”

  33. snideinplainsight

    Words have consequences. And letters have consequences. And parts of letters have consequences, like the difference between a little r and a little n, that’s a part. And even little marks like periods and commas have consequences. My mother-in-law’s period, for instance, has consequences.

    I’m sorry, what were we talking about?

  34. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=329555]imissopus[/re]: We really do need a “fellated and celebrated” tag. Of course, it would probably mostly be used for anytime Christopher Hitchens talks about himself.

    [re=329579]sezme[/re]: [re=329580]FlownOver[/re]: If it matters, I laughed at both.

  35. jaba the slut

    [re=329536]Hunger Tallest Palin[/re]:
    Yeah, and in addition to pflogging he might start communicating through clogging.
    There is nothing more phenomenal than modern ‘reporting’ as delivered through the rat-a-tat-tat morse code of news clogging. But, the clogs are in the same family as Birkenstocks, Crocks, and all the other liberal tainted footwear. Maybe he can try this new Tweeker thing I’ve been hearing so much about.

  36. SayItWithWookies

    This Rosen fellow is a genius. He wrote a piece anonymously slamming Sotomayor, it causes a huge fuss, he gets lauded by Republicans, he renounces the controversy, blames the internet and still manages to make it all about him without admitting he was wrong about anything.

    There should be a Liza Minelli award for this kinda shit — you get a big gold drama queen as the statue. Then again, it’s not really necessary and the ceremony would be unbearable.

  37. bitchincamaro

    [re=329588]bitchincamaro[/re]: Jackass! It’s alright to hijack Wonkette for kitty and horsey blogarrhea, but please keep your NHL hockey masturbation fodder to yourself.

    Thank you.

  38. Jukesgrrl

    [re=329527]Cicada[/re]: You know how it’s all the rage to say, “Thank you for your service” to the troops? Well, I say, “Thank you for your service” to YOU for your valued work at Planned Parenthood. I used to work half a block from the PP office in Pittsburgh and I had to walk through a mass of protesters many mornings. I don’t know how in God’s name you could put up with it; my hat’s off to anyone who could last a week there. My standard procedure when accosted with dead fetus “literature” was to yell, “You touch my body with that pamphlet and I’ll scream for the police and charge you with assault!” It usually kept them away from me, but their crazy eyes would get even crazier.

    And just to stay on topic: Jeffrey Rosen is a Snivelling Little Rat-Faced Git (courtesy of Monty Python).

  39. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=329592]SayItWithWookies[/re]: He hate-fucks his own image on a nightly basis, and probably owns scaled effigies of his enemies, for sport— just for those moments when that notion of “I’m not good enough” hit him with a blazing speed. We can only hope for his quick surrender to Jesus, and Jesus’ immediate vengeance upon him for said surrender.

  40. gurukalehuru

    Before twitter, before blogs even, there was this thing called talking. The problem with that was, once you actually SAID something (the old fashioned equivalent of the SEND button), it stayed said, and all your tears could not wash out a word of it, nor all your sighs erase a single line.

  41. dementor

    I think that picture would make me lactate, if I were given to that kind of thing. Won’t someone think of this children?

  42. hobospacejunkie

    [re=329592]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Rosenpenis ain’t finished yet. The only reason Dr. Rosen-rosen would loudly & officially quit the internet is to make possible his even louder and more noisome (“they said this day would never come!”) return to the internet, at just the time when, he believes, we need him more than ever. Like in a coupla’ weeks.

  43. hobospacejunkie

    [re=329601]dementor[/re]: A combination of effexor & wellbutrin did the trick for me. And I’m a dude.

    Needless to say, I switched medications.

  44. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=329534]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Waterboarding should be a self-inflicted daily ritual. It would save water over showering

    Funny you should mention that, because I tried a little self-waterboarding the shower today. (Honest; I spend way too much time morbidly thinking of such things.)

    If you have an extra-high showerhead like I do, it’s easy to just face it and turn your head up so the water cascades (gently, or forcefully, depending on how high you have the taps turned up) straight into your nostrils so you get the impression of water being poured into your nose, as if you were strapped to a board and having the guy dumping a pitcher of water on your face.

    Only, in the privacy or your own tastefully tiled shower, you can turn your head away at any time, unlike those situations where you have your head duct-taped to a piece of plywood and you’re upside down in somebody’s rusty galvanized horse trough.

    With experimentation, I was able to withstand it for up to 20 seconds at a time. That is, as long as I could take a deep breath beforehand and actively exhale through my nose while the water came down.

    If you’re not actively exhaling through your nose, you get the impression within a couple of seconds that you’re drowning.

    Not very pleasant.

  45. SayItWithWookies

    [re=329607]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: If only Michael Hutchence had thought of doing that, he might be alive today.

  46. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=329607]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: When you waterboard long enough, the transubstantiation starts to happen. That’s when it’s time to flip your personal Jesus over.

  47. lizard scum

    [re=329504]Jim Newell[/re]: Jim, please be like Jeffrey Rosen, and choose life. Renounce blogging!

  48. hobospacejunkie

    [re=329612]chascates[/re]: I’d eat Blago’s wife on the teevee. She is slutty hot AND foul-mouthed, a perfectly erotic combination,

  49. S.Luggo

    [re=329570]Mr Blifil[/re]: “May I put that toilet seat down for you, Mr. Tancredo?”

  50. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=329609]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Me an’ Hitch an’ my man Mancow; we be Jesus flippin’ sonsabitches.

  51. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=329608]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “Auto-Erotic-Asphyxiation,” is that what the kids are calling it these days?

  52. S.Luggo

    [re=329612]chascates[/re]: — Blago’s wife eats tarantula on ‘I’m a Celebrity’—

    No. If she can’t spell it, she won’t eat it. Which accounts for the ex-Gov’s lack of a sex life. I mean, imagine how many syllables there are in “Rod”?

  53. SayItWithWookies

    [re=329621]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: The kids are actually calling it the strangling game or the fainting game. Somebody should teach them to self-waterboard. Or just buy them some damn weed.

  54. bago

    [re=329526]President Beeblebrox[/re]: It is half of a cycle that involves “blog exit”. Repeat until satisfied.

  55. DustBowlBlues

    [re=329523]V572625694[/re]: I don’t know what or who you avatar is, if it’s anyone, but it looks so like Lisa Ray in Deep Mehta’s (my new favorite director) in the “Republic of Love.” Just thought you’d want to know. Or not.

  56. DustBowlBlues

    [re=329527]Cicada[/re]: ” Don’t know if I can laugh yet, though.”

    Here’s an idea: What’s the big deal with abortion? It’s not like they’re an endangered species

    Okay. That’s as harsh as I’ve got on the subject. Only those of us who have a uterus, or can grow one, get to have an opinion on abortion. I realized how completely out of touch men are on the subject when my poor, shaken up husband (who didn’t want to me to have an abortion/didn’t want to have a fifth kid in almost equal proportion/settled the matter by supporting my decision) when he told me how deeply he felt for my pain and said, “I just can’t imagine being a woman who has to kill her baby.”

    WHAT? How do you come back on that one and tell the poor man, “It’s four weeks. I’ve had periods worse than this.”

    Losing my cat has tortured a hell of a lot more that ever did.

    My insurance covered it all (which I learned last night on Rachel, Oklahoma forbids–get pregnant on the coasts, girls), although my dumb bunny husband thought I shouldn’t file because he was so ashamed. Like being out cash-money is going to make anything better?

    LIke every woman in my position, I’ve never talked about it to other than my closest women friends. And on wonkette, of course, among potty-mouthed losers who don’t know who I am and who share my feelings, for the most part.

    But I wonder if women like I ought to come out of the closet and say Yeah, I had an abortion. Married, with children, in my forties, because it was going to destroy me and I had a family to think of. A family of already born people. When Mom goes down, everyone goes with her. The United Methodist Social Creed says kind of the same thing about the subject but much more poignantly and more eloquently and more compassionately. But fuck bothering to look it up. This is wonkette.

    Sorry to be so off topic. I wish Sara had posted this as I’d have a better excuse to get in my final rant. Looks like nobody’s reading this by now so I think maybe I’m home free. Oops. As long as Jim isn’t paying attention.

  57. Mr Blifil

    [re=329663]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You need to dump you’re suck-ass husband and run away with me. We’ll have all the abortions we want, for shits and giggles. I should tell you however I’m allergic to cats.

  58. zhubajie

    [re=329517]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Re Dr. Tiller, I’ve been expecting an outbreak of more-violence-than usual from wingnuts etc. Why do you think they’ve been buying guns and ammo as fast as Walmart can stock them? Just to shoot beer bottles? A lot of these dickheads don’t drink.

    Zhu Bajie

  59. the problem child

    [re=329663]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I was reading. And I agree. Also, too, men are just clueless about this shit.

  60. Woodwards Friend

    Michael Bay is also very angry that people judge his film career based on a single video blog post entitled “Pearl Harbor.”

  61. chaste everywhere

    DustBowlBlues: LOTS of people still reading! (This isn’t a newspaper, you know–some of us read all the way to the end.)

    And yes, we men are indeed medout clue, on abortion/childbirth/etc as on so many “issues”–and how not? I was there at the birth of my only (as far as I know) child, and did my best to be a tower of strength (or was I just a tower?) through the two abortions that came about thanks to oversights on both our parts, way back when, but would never claim those experiences gave me a direct pipeline to the Eternal Feminine, any more than I would ask a, how-you-say-in-English, female of the species for advice about prostate care–not that prostates are an endangered species, either, more’s the pity.

    signed, one more potty-mouthed loser who feels your pain as much/little as a man can do–oh, and sorry about your cat (now there’s a pain I know first hand)

  62. DustBowlBlues

    [re=329681]Mr Blifil[/re]: Also, too old to have anymore abortions, which makes me feel inadequate as Democratic woman. The old man’s harmless these days, as long as I don’t get between him, the computer and and internets porn.

  63. DustBowlBlues

    [re=329687]the problem child[/re]: Back in the 70s, NOW members used to say that if men had periods, half the defense budget would be converted into PMS research. Considering how many men live with PMS sufferers, I’m surprised it hasn’t already happened.

    Birth control is so damn inadequate. And it all has health issues for women who use and as for condoms–not the perfect answer.

    I hate the, “as long as it isn’t used for birth control” argument. Excuse me, but what the fuck is abortion for if not birth control?

    AZ Planned Parenthood (I believe that was the group and state) issued tee shirts that said, “I had an abortion” and people went batshit crazy.

    Even on the teevee 24 news, one of their experts admitted the wingers had gone over-the-edge psycho because of Barack Obama’s victory. Didn’t go far enough though, because didn’t say “because there’s a negro in the WH”. But we all know that’s is. Their world has collapsed. And as to SCOTUS, lord, my husband’s union was fighting the selective certification vote when I met him. (He was a reluctant president dragged into it.)

    Do we just need to rewind and go to back to the fucking 70s to remember all this shit? Warning: Styles looked as bad to us then as they do to everyone else now. And disco still sucks.

  64. hobospacejunkie

    [re=329801]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I like to think I’m as tuned in to women’s issues as it’s possible for a man to be, but if true it’s only come about through 40+ years of learning. My (former) girlfriend had an abortion when she was 23 and I was 28 (?) and while I paid for it she didn’t think I was very supportive and said I didn’t want her to have an abortion. In fact, her words were “yeah, you were nice about it, but only because you were on heroin.” Yeah, but I was still nice about it.

    Actually I was conflicted about ending a life, just as I am conflicted about ending anyone’s life, hence my non critter-eating ways. I just made the mistake of not keeping that part of it to myself, which I most definitely should have. In that situation a man should only ever say “I support totally whatever you decide to do.” I learned the hard way. At least I didn’t marry her. That would’ve been a disaster.

  65. engulfedinflames

    [re=329801]DustBowlBlues[/re]: bless your heart (in the good way not snarky) i’ve always believed in a womans right to choose, it seems pretty simple; a medical procedure that a woman chooses over other options in consultation with her doc. some decisions are hard. learning to make and live with decisions is the single most important lesson my mother taught me. i had the surprising experience of discovering that i would not be able to support my wifes decision to abort if our child had down syndrome (she was forty and we’d given up on kids) it seemed like a no brainer, but the more i thought about it the more determined i became to have the baby no matter what. but then i’m the guy who plants seeds every spring and is always amazed by the miracle of life. we were fortunate enough to not have to decide. i’ve never told her how i felt.

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