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Whoa hey, Dick Cheney, father to a known lesbian, supports gay marriage. What a homo! “People ought to get a shot at that,” he says, adding that it ought to be a state-by-state decision, however. Not seeing much about this on RedState or the Corner! Will Rush Limbaugh now EAT this latest liberal, Dick Cheney? [The Swamp]

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138 COMMENTS

  1. Cheney said, “We have a gay person in our family so we’re sensitive to their issue. However we don’t have any poor people or muslims in our family so fuck them, next question.”

  2. “As many of you know, one of my daughters is gay and it is something we have lived with for a long time in our family. ” Like she has a disease they’ve had to endure. He can sound like a horrible, horrible person even when he’s doing the right thing. Bravo, Mr Cheney.

  3. Yes, Dick Cheney loves gay marriage so much that he was part of an Administration that pushed gay marriage ban ballot initiatives in order to rile up the mouth-breathers during the 2004 election. Eat a sack of dicks, Dick. Also.

  4. “One of my daughters is gay. It’s something we’ve lived with..blah blah blah”
    He sounds the way I would if I was discussing genital herpes. Even when he’s right he’s wrong.

  5. And what is Obama’s stance on this issue?

    “My religious beliefs say that marriage is something sanctified between a man and a woman.”

    Thanks for nothing, Barry. You Jesus-loving fucktard.

  6. OH NOES!!! He mentioned having a gay daughter! Doesn’t he know that’s a BIG SECRET and it’s REALLY REALLY OFFENSIVE to talk about it? YOU JUST DON’T SAY THAT IN PUBLIC!!!11!

  7. [re=329335]Incredulicious[/re]: Yup, and if everything fell to that single issue, he’d be reviled and cheney would still be an evil, baby-blood-drinking, soul-sucking shithead. What can you do?

  8. Maybe he walked in on his daughter and her main squeeze rubbin’ uglies and thought, “Well, dayummmm! This homo stuff ain’t bad at all!”

  9. This is like NIxon supporting the Nat’l Endowment for the Arts: a smokescreen. Dark side indeed, LaCheney. What’s next? Abortion, flag burning, habeas corpus? Nahhhhhh.

  10. What a drag it is getting old…

    When I went to the bar tonight, I noticed Dick Cheney sitting all alone in the corner and he was crying over his cocktail.

    I stopped and asked him what was wrong.

    He said: “I have a 22 year old lover at home. I met him a month or so ago, right here in this very bar!” He continued; “He makes love to me every morning and then he makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground, brewed coffee.”

    I said: “Well, then why are you crying?”

    Dick said: “He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then he makes love to me half the afternoon.”

    I said: “Well, so why are you crying?”

    He said: “For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then he makes love to me until 2:00 am.”

    I said: “Well, for goodness sakes! Why in the world would you be CRYING!”

    And Cheney said: “I CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE I LIVE!”

    *Thwump-wump!

  11. His comment may have to do more with his lesbian feminist novelist wife. She may have passed down some gay genes to their daughter, and growing up with Dick Cheney as her father sealed the deal. So, hurray for Cheney’s tolerance.

    When somebody asked Alan Keyes about his own gay daughter, he said, “We would have avoided this, but you can’t tell these things on a sonogram.”

  12. Added Cheney, “I have always wondered how different my life would have been if I could have followed my heart instead of marrying that shrewish lesbian I got stuck with for a beard. But if my life has to be a living Hell, then everyone’s has to be a living Hell.”

  13. He supports getting gay married, but he is working backwards… ’cause his new stance is gonna get him gay divorced from Limbaugh

  14. These comments are losing the flare we old-type Wonketters had. I think I will be spending my evening destroying some of you, if you don’t mind.

    [re=329337]tunamelt[/re]: [re=329342]Gopherit[/re]: [re=329341]chascates[/re]: [re=329327]V572625694[/re]: You in?

  15. This pretty much shuts up Tweety’s insistence that Dick wants to run for prezdent in 2012.

    If memory serves, his gay daughter did a book after the election about how hard it was on her. Being gay, openly, and helping bring hate on the gayz.

    And if memory further serves, it tanked in sales and the gay community shunned her like Jehavah’s Witness who’d just gone to a birthday party.

  16. “Given that the GOP is in such a shitty, shitty position electorally that being pro-gay-marriage is more likely to get us votes than to lose them, I am now personally ready to officiate for any gays eager to gay it up with rings on!”

  17. is this fucking guy really going to run for preznit in 2012? (if so he just lost every southern primary.)

    otherwise i can’t figure the continuing media offensive. surely he’s not so stupid to believe that this revisionism on its own (echoed though it may be by people whose reputations consist only of whatever could be defined as the polar opposite of “credibility”) will do anything to change the fact that he’ll be remembered as the corporate insider who picked himself to be the vp, manipulated & controlled a half-retarded dry drunk, privatized everything he could in favor of his cronies, tortured the shit out of people, ginned up a war against the 112th most dangerous country in the world, pissed all over the Constitution, got drunk and shot his buddy in the face–and then quelled any investigation, and committed treason by leaking the name of a covert CIA agent. if any half-smart person did all that shit, regardless of the office he or she held, he’d go to a warm place with drugs, hookers, beaches, & no extradition. is he that stupid? or are the people convincing him to keep this up that stupid? my head hurts.

  18. [re=329380]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Have at it. As a resident of the Bay area you doubtless have many a keen insight into this matter.

    However, I don’t think it should be left to the states as Cheney says. Abortion he wants left to the Feds (when it can be banned.) The GLBT thing doesn’t bother him so much now he has grandkids. Even Hitler had a dog so maybe there’s a small atom of good in his soul that’s screaming to get out.

    No, wait. That’s complete bullshit. Back to drinking.

  19. [re=329391]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: Same reason that Britney Spears and Octomom are still somehow relevant. If he spoke and noone was there to snark, he’d disappear quicker than a reality star.

  20. From http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/06/tiller_murder_suspects_ties_to_right-wing_extremis.php?ref=fpblg
    about Bloody Kansas:

    ‘Morris Wilson, who during the mid 1990s was the commander of a group called the Kansas Unorganized Citizens’ Militia said he knew Roeder well. “I’d say he’s a good ol’ boy except he was just so fanatic about abortion,” said Wilson.’

    Outright murder of gays and lesbians is pretty rare these days, although beating them up is still a hobby in too many places. Think the murder of one abortion provider will start a copy-cat trend or become an ‘extremist’ activity?

    And has Limbaugh weighed [sic] in on this?

  21. when dick said, “i think people ought to be free to enter into any kind of union they wish, any kind of arrangement they wish.”

    he meant that to include arrangements for bribing foreign officials to secure no-bid cost-plus contracts for oil field services, construction, etc. and/or private military contracts and/or hired assassinations (provided it’s done in a foreign country, using foreign shooters, or in dallas), and/or really anything and everything that involves the exchange of money for goods, services (including slavery, esp. women or foreigners), blood, etc.

  22. [re=329392]chascates[/re]: Well, obvs this is just another in along line of masterful evil plots whose endgame has yet to be revealed. I’m sure there will be some face-shooting involved somewhere.

    And watch out everyone. Be funny or shorts will have a bag of dicks for you, I think.

  23. [re=329391]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: But he supports the rights of GAYZ! Surely all of that other stuff is consequential.

  24. @shortsshortsshorts: I think I will be spending my evening destroying some of you

    You, being an article of clothing, are my nemesis.

    *strikes a lop-fu pose*

  25. What’s Rush gonna do about this? Are his wrinkly drug addled sucked regularly by a young Dominican boy balls heavy enough to face off with Big Dick? It’s the irresistible force of asshattery meeting the immovable object of pure evil. Rush and Dick in a boxing ring plummeting each other with socks full of shit. Oh, gods, I just came…

  26. [re=329365]lizard scum[/re]: I wonder what Keyes would have done, if he and his wife had seen lesbianism on a sonogram.

  27. I guess we shouldn’t be too surprised, after all Cheney is one kinky MoFo!

    -As Veep, he ‘shot’ a friend in the face. (buckshot=bukake)
    -He supports waterboarding (and other water sports)
    -he was all in favor of teabagging.

    folks, he is just cumming out of the closet!

  28. [re=329402]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: nah, he backed off that awfully quickly to say he supports the states supporting the gayz. (a lot like a bunch of 1960s cretins didn’t HATE the idea of blacks marrying whites, they just hated the feds getting in their state bidniss.) those damn feds don’t need to stick their noses in anything that’s not your phone calls, emails, mail, bedroom, living room, dining room, kitchen, backyard, wife/girlfriend/daughter/sister’s underwear, et al. It’s right there in teh 10th Amendment, peepol!! GAYZ are a state disease. Let the states deal with them. (Oh Dick, fuck yourself, Loving v. Virginia says otherwise on state control of marriage.)

  29. Phew! just in the nick of time to take the heat off of that Kansas martyr Scott Roeder, we have our new smokescreen/talking point. Not exactly subtle.
    Thanks, Dickhead! I thought John Kerry had to cop a ton of shit bc he alluded (in a nice way) to your lesbian daughter in a debate. THEN: that was the shits. NOW: oh hey, let teh gheyz do what they’re gonna do!
    Running for Preznit? Hoo-boy. probably just a Tweety fantasy. Ugh. Shudders at thought of the Tweetstir’s fantasies…. Also.

  30. [re=329380]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I am saddened to see that you did not manage to work in a plug for shortsandpants here.
    Don’t let me down, SSS!

  31. [re=329380]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:

    Don’t you “old-type” me sonny, I’m from the Pareene era. I just had a hissy-fit and took a break for about 6 months.

    Destroy away, though, a lot of this stuff brings not the funny, indeed.

  32. [re=329429]V572625694[/re]: ShortsandPants readers have immunity in this rage-filled scorn. WHERE IS CUSTERWOLF? COME OUT, DAMN SPOT.

  33. [re=329335]Incredulicious[/re]: Barry knows we are a secular government, therefore his religious beliefs are not part of the governing of this country.
    He has so much on his plate that social issues will come after economic ones are getting better.

    At least that is my projecting of hope on that.

    Chaney want gays to marry so Scooter and he can be legit.

    big ballsy squirrel also

  34. [re=329431]Gopherit[/re]: I think we need some Paultards to awaken the mighty banhammer. It just isn’t the same without them *sniff*.

  35. [re=329431]Gopherit[/re]: Never question how a professional blogger spends his or her time. Their motivations and lusts are beyond our ken.

  36. And what happened then?
    Well, in Langley they say
    that Chaney’s small heart grew three sizes that day.
    It crumbled to dust in the wind then it flew,
    as aerosolized poison killing of ten thousand plus two.

  37. [re=329440]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Nah. They drink with both fists like the rest of us.

    No you were going to whoop shorts’ ass lop-eared style. Where’s my popcorn?

  38. And on the matter of States’ Rights our Gloriously-Haired Gov. Perry has been able to pass:
    Affirming that the State of Texas claims sovereignty under the Tenth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States over all powers not otherwise enumerated and granted to the federal government by the U.S. Constitution, serving notice to the federal government to cease and desist certain mandates, and providing that certain federal legislation be prohibited or repealed.

    Unofficial Voting Totals: 99 Yeas, 36 Nays, 4 Present, not voting

    So there. I guess.

  39. [re=329465]chascates[/re]: Yay! That’s one small step for Rick Perry, One big step towards the new country, North Mexico. SEE YA TEXAS!

  40. GOSH DARNITT IMMA GONNA GET SERIOUS!!!

    When Nancy Reagan came out for stem-cell research (because it could help her husband), some commenter on Huffpo claimed that Republicans never really think about helping others outside of their immediate family (something like this). At the time, the comment seemed extreme.

    And now Dick Cheney comes out to show (some) support of gay marriage (because of his daughter).

    With the recent Republican crusade against EMPATHY (i.e. anal sex), I’m starting to wonder if the Huffpo commenter was correct (with the exception of the fetus, of course).

    /end outrage.

  41. [re=329427]bonghitsforjesus[/re]: Are you sure Rush & Cheney wouldn’t be plumbing each other with socks full of shit? Those two sick fuks are probably into all kinds of freakyweird stuff…

  42. watching mary on the tube the last few week, begging people to love her daddy, already had me thinking about this. he’s said he is pro gay marryin’ before, but unlike shitting on the constitution to secure the pleasure of torturing people, his love for his daughter wasn’t the kind of thing for which he would stick out his neck. and now there she is on tv every single fucking day trying, whether she knows it or not, to be someone he admits he loves.

    i wonder why they seem like such a desolate, joyless family? any ideas?

  43. [re=329469]V572625694[/re]:

    I was thinking it might be best if we all were lined up against the wall and shot. More democratic that way.

  44. [re=329469]V572625694[/re]: Aw, I don’t even know you. And the banhammer is a harsh mistress. it could hit any of us. That’s the fun part.

  45. [re=329472]facehead[/re]: While there is nothing wrong with enlightened self-interest, which is how cats exist and can often lead to great things/acceptance/etc, Dick Cheney is an unrepentant asshole.

  46. [re=329380]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: oh no, now wonkette has its own pining-for-the-day infestation. but, it’s too young to die! *sob

    [These comments are losing the flare we old-type Wonketters had. I think I will be spending my evening destroying some of you, if you don’t mind.

    tunamelt: Gopherit: chascates: V572625694: You in?]

  47. [re=329434]Tommmcatt[/re]: it’s the culling that limits the fun. when everyone in the room doesn’t just agree, but has to has to share a mode of expression, the gruel, however tastey, can become thin!

    [Tommmcatt: I miss the grand cullings of old. Where are our oppressive wonkette overlords when you need them?]

  48. [re=329485]tunamelt[/re]: Dick Cheney is an unrepentant asshole you need a cafe press site. That needs to be on t-shirts and coffee mugs.

  49. [re=329488]cranky[/re]: Um, actually I said that, and humorless dick jokes predominating comments on a snarky humor site is the thin gruel.

  50. [re=329493]Gopherit[/re]: wow, i didn’t know you invented the concept of the thin gruel. what kind of royalties do you see of that?

  51. Upon hearing the news that Dick mentioned their gay daughter, Lynne Cheney feined outrage and characterized his remarks as “a cheap and tawdry political trick” and said he “is not a good man.”

  52. Uhm wow. THe power of small- one person changing thier position can represent the beginning of a movement, lets hope so. THats how politics can be, darth vader changes his mind and a whole lot can change.

  53. [re=329505]Gopherit[/re]: nah, fourth graders can rarely hit a level that can be called filth, it’s all bag-o-dicks and also with the kids.

    literally it turns out, since the panhandling teens are all shouting “bag o’ dicks” on the street today, in an attempt to win the love and dollars of the employed.

  54. [re=329430]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: [re=329380]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You, Sir, are approaching Cheney levels of cruelty.

  55. [re=329452]Scandalabra[/re]: I’ll give you 8-to-1 odds that Dick’s ticker explodes before you can get legally gay-hitched (again?) in California.

    6-to-1 he gets caught eating human brains.

  56. [re=329380]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I love you, shorts, but you were a funnier commenter before you got your own blog and got all drunk with power. There. Someone had to say it.

  57. Goddamn posting from ‘somewhat intelligent phones!’ Just lost three paragraphs’ worth of rant. Boo hoo.

    In sum: Dick ain’t runnin’ for preznit. He can’t, mainly due to his not being terribly popular within his own party. As for his current affliction, diarrhea of the stroke mouth, there are 2 causes. One, to defend and deflect blame for torture whenever The Liberal Media talk about it too much. Two, to distract The Liberal Media whenever they take their spotlight off him. “Look, I love those filthy homos!” He’s a veritable Prince Phillip on social issues.

    Tomorrow he’ll profess his concern for flight safety. The day after? Who knows. The importance of stem cells? The evils of Sideshow Bob? Assault weapons ban? Anything is possible in the paranoid, cowardly world of our fraidiest fraidy cat.

  58. Cheney sounded like my father when he discovered I had “girl parts” or a “mangina.”

    “My daughter is gay and we’ve had to live with it for YEARS…”

    Yea, tough shit… and your daughter has LIVED WITH “IT” her entire life, shooter! Get over “IT.”

  59. [re=329567]assistant/atlas[/re]: That is absolutely correct! I am drunk with power. That is why anyone can write for the thing. BECAUSE I AM DRUNK WITH POWER.

  60. I’s got awful tired of Cheney playin’ the martyr today. LAWDS, the whole “I begged and pleaded for Bush not to make me Vice President!” just doesn’t jibe with my memory of him in 1999 saying, “I looked FAR AND WIDE for a Vice President and decided when I looked in the mirror, I was LOOKIN’ at the NEXT Vice President of the United States. I mean, Lynne, Liz and Mary the Lesbian daughter, all assured me I should be THE ONE!” Well, I’m paraphrasing but he sure as hell said something to the effect he looked all over and discovered it was HIM that should be Vice President when he was on that “search committee of one” to find George Dubya’s running mate.

  61. [re=329589]GaySailor[/re]: Not to mention that she lived with HIM. Oh, the horror! (But I hear she’s stickin’ around for the cold, hard Blackwater cash.)

  62. [re=329593]GaySailor[/re]: No shit! That stroke-mouthed motherfucker interviewed one person in his search. And that person agreed with the interviewer in the mirror. Mirror mirror on the wall, Who should be VP after all? Why, you my dear. Just keep an Igloo cooler full of teen-aged Indian hearts ready for transplant at all times and the world is yours to plunder & ruin. And pay no mind to the retard in the White House.

  63. [re=329584]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Yes, ’tis poignant that Dick’s only shred of humanity is his fatherly concern for his carpet-munching daughter.

    And he will never be able to laugh at the cosmic irony that she is twice the man he’ll ever be.

  64. MEMROANDUM

    To: Richard Cheney and Family
    From: The Schadenfried PAC
    Re: Promiscuous women and chairs

    HOES SIT DOWN. THAT IS ALL.

  65. [re=329407]chascates[/re]: Had to over-ride a GOP Gov veto.

    Nevada Rest of State is really really republican in a Paultard way with out the cool net blimp and stuff.

    They oughta legalize gay marriage there so more people can come get married in the high class casino chapels.

  66. [re=329693]The Schadenfried PAC[/re]: If I could find one to, it would probably raise the views on ShortsandPants by a “ginormous” number.

  67. Jim,

    Help, sometimes I have trouble understanding. When you say “Will Rush Limbaugh now EAT this latest liberal, Dick Cheney?,” do you mean eat as in consume — like dinner — or do you mean felch?

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