Wonkette
Nobody in Minnesota even cares about this dumb recount deal anymore, they would be happy to have as their second senator Jesse Ventura in a tutu and a stocking cap, but Norm Coleman and Al Franken still want “the courts” to decide the election that happened seven months ago: you know, the one that hinges on like fourteen votes because neither candidate was really any more popular than the other. Ugh.
So today’s drama takes place in the Minnesota Supreme Court, where justices are “grilling” both sides. Maybe they will come up with a decision in … October? That’ll be well after Justice Sotomayor and her judicial activism have declared the state of Minnesota unconstitutional and sent Governor Pawlenty to a slave camp on Easter Island. Ditto Coleman and Franken. PROBLEM SOLVED.
Minnesota Supremes Grill Coleman Lawyer On Lack Of Evidence [TPM DC]
Hey! If things are working out with just the one senator, why not go with that? As a matter of fact, there’s gotta be other states that could cut back in these trying times.
I like how the picture reads Gansta Norman Blingee.
Dress Coleman in blackface and send him over to Marcus Aurelius Epstein’s place: problem solved.
Have Franken and Coleman go to church and shoot it out. That way God will have a hand in determining the winner.
If Jesse Ventura water boards Sean Hannity, I’ll back him for pope.
Come on, it’s obvious guys! The governor needs to appoint Michelle Bachman. That’s just what the senate needs–a boatload of teh crazy.
can’t they just do pistols at dawn and get it over with?
Let lizard people decide.
hobospacejunkie: Hey, why you dragging my favorite Stoic into this?
He of course would not care - “That which does no harm to the state, does no harm to the citizen. In the case of every appearance of harm apply this rule: if the state is not harmed by this, neither am I harmed. But if the state is harmed, thou must not be angry with him who does harm to the state. Show him where his error is.”
In a surprise ruling, the judge has determined that both men will serve as senator while hand-cuffed together.
FOX has announced that it will cover the rest of the term as a reality show, ‘It’s Only Norm-Al’
I live in Minnesota. Pity me.
Next stop SCOTUS!
Red Zeppelin:
Shhhhhhh. Our Republican Gov wants to run for president and he’s pandering to the wingnuts.
Hart88: Pistols are for wusses. They should fight with straight razors in a small dark room.
Be careful Al - if I recall the Mackris lawsuit correctly I think O’Reilly has you next on his hit list.
Mmmm….grilling. I love a good brat or burger on the old Weber.
Old latina Maria Sotomayor would decide this case better than the old white (and black) men (and women) on the Minnesota Supreme Court.
You know, when my two year olds are arguing over something I tell them to just share it or I’ll take it away. Coleman/Franken could have alternating days as the Senator from Minnesota (it is MN, isn’t it? Haven’t paid that much attention to this one.). Better: alternating every hour on the half hour. Keep both of them very busy yet completely ineffective.
if the franken / coleman deathmatch is the necessary condition for that blingee, i hope it never ends.
BillyClubb: These guys are both Jewish. There were going to do this in a synagogue, but they couldn’t agree whether it should be a post-punk new wave synagogue, or a reconstructionist neo-madona synagogue.
Mustang: “there’s gotta be other states that could cut back in these trying times.”
I’ll give up Coburn and Inhofe.
Newell is watching his video game conference instead of bringing me my afternoon funnies - Get him!!!
“That’ll be well after Justice Sotomayor and her judicial activism have declared the state of Minnesota unconstitutional and sent Governor Pawlenty to a slave camp on Easter Island. Ditto Coleman and Franken. PROBLEM SOLVED.”
Sadly, this is the most reasonable solution that I have seen yet.
x111e7thst: I say axe handles with nails through the end of them in a mud pit.
bfstevie: A shoot-out in a synagogue, who ever heard of such a thing? And since anti-abortion Christians are so well armed and at least somewhat deranged I don’t think we ever will.
mrpuma2u: Sounds good
DustBowlBlues: Thank you for your brave sacrifice.
What happens to Minnesota after it becomes unconstitutional? Will we just become our own micro-nation with an economy built on lakes and butter? Because I’ve gotta admit, the part about sending Pawlenty to a slave camp is sounding pretty good so far.
Those wingnut welfare jobs must be drying up if Norm hasn’t conceeded by now!
x111e7thst:
We can call it “Hopeydome”. 2 go in, 1 comes out.
Scarab: rev_matt_y: 23/6, the now-defunct comedy site, was way ahead of you.
Gorillionaire: Norm was already hired by some national Jewish Republican wingnut group (these assholes, I think: http://www.rjchq.org). The reason he hasn’t conceded yet is that he is a Civil Rights hero, following in the footsteps of Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King, Jr., trying to block the racist female Hispanic Latina woman of Latin descent and non-male gender Chicana lady, Maria Sotomayer.
Thunderdome - Two candidates enter. One Senator leaves.
dijetlo: Bastard! How dare you type this before I bother to read all of the comments.
The court should flip a coin. It would be fair and would save many taxpayer dollars.
The evidence that Norm Coleman won by 3 votes is just like the evidence that UFOs landed in Studio 54 Area in Roswell, NM, or whatever it’s called. There is no evidence of UFOs, therefore there were UFOs because the guvment destroyed the evidence And how do you know the govt destroyed the evidence? You’re not paying attention, dummies. Because there is no evidence.
There is no evidence that Norm Coleman won, therefore he won. Now do you get it?
For all of those that think this doesn’t mater, just remember, once Franken wins, we do get to hear Limbaugh, Hannity, O’Reilly, etc. say “Senator Franken.” That alone is worth making a mockery of Minnesota politics.
If Coleman appeals this for 5 more years or so……Harry Reid and the democrats are gonna be pissed, err I mean not nice, no wait, more like not as pleasant. Mitch McConnell just may not get a Reid Christmas card in 2014.
Think of Amy Klobuchar people…she doesn’t care who wins at this point, she just needs some damn help!
(also, I will repeat my prediction again…so when it comes true, you can all marvel at my political savvy…Amy Klobuchar will be our first female president).
hockeymom: I lurve Amy Klobuchar. I hope you’re right.
My idea for the tie breaker: Rabbinical Court … on C-SPAN.
hockeymom: Amy Klobuchar comes across on the teevee as the kind of person you’d like to be your child’s first grade teacher. She is so nice! I’m in OK, where our public servants are as obnoxious and arrogant as they are stupid. Are the people of Minnesota really as nice as they are on Prairie Home Companion? (No offense intended, but if so, they may be nice but they can’t sing for shit).
Given what a nice person she is, I say that let’s just give Sen. K two votes and hire Franken for periodic congressional comedy gigs and let him work the phones and deal with constituents.
DustBowlBlues: OK? Shout out to Eischen’s Chicken in Okarche.
Jesse Ventura for Supreme Court! I’m sure he could kick all the critics’ asses! Waterboard them too!
Zhu Bajie
Scarab: Ah! Chain match!
Zhu Bajie