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https://img.wonkette.com/images/thumbs/8e3555d639602b4536473d64ee1b8caf.jpgSurprise, surprise: “On July 7, 2007, at approximately 7:15 p.m. at Jefferson and M Street, Northwest, in Washington, D.C., defendant was walking down the street making offensive remarks when he encountered the complainant, Ms. [REDACTED], who is African-American. The defendant uttered, ‘Nigger,’ as he delivered a karate chop to Ms. [REDACTED]’s head.” [Washington Independent]

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79 COMMENTS

  1. Wonder what does the new latina judge says…”yo gringo…there are two kind of people in this world…one who karate chops…and one who pleads…i chop…you plead…”

  2. Did T-Tan really need another push into oblivion?

    Also, if someone is this extraordinarily racist is it conceivable that none of his co-workers knew? Or more likely that they, and their boss, shared and perhaps approved of his prejudices to some extent?

    And what kind of deluded coward kicks a woman, for any reason?

  3. Looks like Marcus is going to have no friends in jail.

    Common ground with, but loathed (Epstein, comeon!) by the Aryan Brotherhood.
    Forget the Muslinbrotherhood.

  4. Sorry, but Ms. [Redacted] is no Nigger, to tell a family Secret, her grandmother was Dutch.

    But seriously, this asshole is going to law school??? Where, Liberty University?? This guy is gonna shit when his constitutional law class discusses 347 U.S. 483 (Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka). Of course, law school at Liberty probably stops all coursework @ Plessy v. Ferguson.

  5. A spokesman for Team America PAC confirmed that Epstein is still at work until he leaves for law school in the fall

    Hmmmmm…..

    The defendant uttered, ‘Nigger,’ as he delivered a karate chop to Ms. [REDACTED]’s head

    See, if he’d studied Vietnamese martial arts he would have said “ngiger”, which have been all good. Also he’d be karate choppin’ Cambodians who don’t have a firm grasp of their civil rights instead of our African American brothers and sisters who gots a lawyer on speed dial.
    Bush league mistake.

  6. [re=328791]Serolf Divad[/re]: But Sotomayor would’ve have empathized with the old lady while flogging her with said burrito. Cuz that’s the way she rolls.

  7. [re=328785]american mutt[/re]: Charlie’s Angels? Or just that chick from Charlie’s Angels but in Austin Powers? Somewhat intelligent phone not built for research.

  8. Here’s what we can take away from this. Rep. Tancredo opposes Sotomayor for the Supreme Court because she is “racist.” Presumably he would not support Epstein for Supreme Court, either. (Because “Epstein” sounds, I dunno, a little too Jew-y?)

  9. [re=328806]Zadig[/re]: Which both makes it all the more amusing (except for Ms. Redacted) and all the more appropriate for Mr. MakesNoSense Tancred(o.)

  10. [re=328806]Zadig[/re]: I’ve been wanting some context for this thing too…the standalone circumstance is so perfectly insance, though.

    This guy was just walking down the street…cold spoutin’ racist whatnot…comes upon the closest thing to Michelle Obama and decides its Clobberin’ Time????

  11. I can’t imagine why the guy didn’t just plead insanity. I mean if he says he works with Tancredo and Bay Buchannan, who would even check further.

  12. I saw the headline “Tom Tancredo Staffer Pleads Guilty to Karate-Chopping Black Woman” and immediately pictured the first 15 minutes of KILL BILL. Basically, Beatrix Kiddo = Racist.

  13. It’s perfectly understandable. You go out to hunt down some illegal messicans, and some old black person gets in the way. That black woman wasn’t part of the solution, so she must have been part of the problem. As W used to say, you’re either with us – or you’re against us.

  14. [re=328837]ThePerfesser[/re]: Damn, there has been an expansion in the last 50 years of what white means. Maybe we need to narrow it again, if it means fewer racists. (Which may exclude me, because I’m part Italian and part Hungarian Jew.)

  15. Since the “victim” was black, it’s only 3/5 of a crime and he should only do 3/5 of the time.

    And she shouldn’t have pressed criminal charges, but simply sued the prick. That’s why it’s called chop-suey.

    A jew who works with/for a Buchanan and Tancredo. Who knew they were so tolerant?

  16. Everybody was kung-fu fighting
    Those cats were fast as lightning
    In fact it was a little bit frightning
    But they fought with expert timing

  17. This poor fellow can’t be expected to understand the consequences of his actions. I’m glad that he is attempting to improve hiself by enrolling in law school so that he can better understand exactly what is and isn’t considered legal in our society.

  18. [re=328806]Zadig[/re]: It’s the Mel Gibson defense. Quoting the charging document (on http://www.onepeoplesproject.com/): After placing [Epstein] into custody, [a friend of Epstein’s] arrived on the scene and advised [the arresting officer] that [Epstein] had consumed a few drinks. Plus called him “sugar tits” for good measure.

  19. This doesn’t compute. How do you get into law school when you have charges for assault pending? You have to fill out reams of forms and explanations for everything from speeding tickets to highschool underage drinking but on your application, so I’m certain aggravated assault has got to draw some attention. He’ll have fun getting admitted to the bar when he has to explain to the interviewer in person why he hit a black woman in the head during a racist tirade on a DC sidewalk. Maybe in Virginia that is only viewed as minor property crime.

  20. [re=328822]rmontcal[/re]: Yup.. our lucky day! We get to fuck with Tancredo for ages over this one… and the timing of his admission of guilt, PRICELESS!

  21. Maybe he was one of the Cobra-Kai

    ” A PERSON CONFRONTS YOU IN THE STREET HE IS AN ENEMY”

    ” YES SENSI!!!!”

    ” AND WHAT DO WE DO TO AN ENEMY ?”

    ” STRIKE FIRST
    STRIKE HARD
    NO MERCY, SIR!!!!!”

  22. [re=328827]ph7[/re]: I’m sure UVA Law alum Sheila Jackson-Lee would LOVE to know that this guy is joining her alma mater.

  23. So, this half-Korean, half-Jew guy walks into a bar… No seriously, WTF? This Epstein guy must have some serious issues. How is it not evident to him that back in the day he’d be forced to sit in the back of the bus with Rosa Parks? If he had chopped Rosa Parks she would have removed her earrings and glasses, and then opened up a can of whip-ass all over him.

  24. A half-Jewish, half-Korean alcoholic so ugly he couldn’t get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas, on his way to law school at UVA (which is an actual, respectable university) if his guilty plea for karate-chopping a black woman and calling her the n-word doesn’t derail him. This could never have happened in Sadaam’s Iraq. Yay democracy!

  25. [re=328845]JadedDIssonance[/re]: that’s what I think: [re=328802]azw88[/re]

    [re=328868]rev_matt_y[/re]: I would have linked the video of that scene, but the damned county gov’mnt block the interwebs from anything worthwhile like Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, etc. (obviously they haven’t caught on to the intertubes largest killer of time/productivity, Wonkette)

  26. [re=328877]totoro[/re]: Getting into law school is no problem, but when he goes for his bar interview, they’re going to make him sit on the Group W Bench.

  27. Some choice quotes from his facebook:

    “Send lawyers, guns, and money. Dad get me out of this” -Warren Zevon

    “Hatred strikes me as one of the few signs of life remaining in the world. This is another thing about the world which is upsidedown: all the friendly and likable people seem dead to me; only the haters seem alive.”– Walker Percy

    HI-YAAH!

  28. I can’t believe I missed the most obvious joke ever.

    With Karate I’ll kick your ass,
    Here to Tienanmen Square
    Oh yeah, motherfucker
    I’m gonna kick yer fuckin’ derriere
    yeaaaeeeaaaahhh
    You broke the rules,
    Now I’ll pull out all your pubic
    haaiiaaaiirr

    you motherfucker

    Ms. [REDACTED] betrayed me
    And then she lied, tried to hide
    And I tai-ed deep inside
    And you know the reason whyyy…

    This, of course, casts the tale in a new light. Our protagonist’s Jewish half grieves for the loss of his fucking Schnitzel ([Redacted] ate it, considering it ‘fair game’), and his Korean half exacts vengeance using his extensive knowledge, as a Korean, of martial arts from, umm, Japan. CONTEXT, PEOPLE. NO JURY WILL CONVICT.

  29. Epstein from Welcome back Kotter> was half Jewish and half Puerto Rican so…our kosher brothers seem to be able to hold down their end when it comes scoring to exotic tail…mozel Tov

  30. Here’s an article from Epstein’s Web page: “Kristol Clear Scam: (VDARE; January 2, 2008 ) A critical look at the shadow boxing between the establishment Left and Right over Bill Kristol’s ascendancy to the NY Times Op Ed Page”

    No need to read it — the title says it all.

  31. That Tancredo “permitted” a half-Jew/half-Korean to work for him is, um, interesting, but the fact that Epstein wanted to work for Tancredo is more than mind-boggling. No wonder Epstein lost it… talk about projecting your self-loathing onto some random stranger. Perhaps that’s the context for this weird incident.

  32. [re=328827]ph7[/re]: While your at it, drop a line to the Admissions Office at BU Medical. They not only admitted Markoff, the Craigslist killer, they had ANOTHER guy murder someone in 2001 — “Daniel Mason, a fourth-year medical student, shot and killed a man execution-style, critically wounded another, and shot their dog while they slept.” The caring physicians of tomorrow — way to go, institutions of higher ed.

  33. [re=329032]HuddledMass[/re]: Nothing wrong with killing and maiming people as a Dr-to-be, you must understand how in difficult times, people of all sorts of lines of work have to actively drum up business.

    Soon, UAW will have their members out jacking all sorts of cars, smashing them up and such to boost auto sales!

  34. [re=328822]rmontcal[/re]: Oh fuck, that’s hilarious. I know exactly where I was at the moment he was doing this then. I was at the bar at 77 West 7th street in New York- no joke. And no, it hadn’t occurred to the owners to do anything special at 7 on 7/7/07.

  35. Just got this back from a Virginia Law Dean whose name I will omit, and thanked in advance.

    “Marcus Epstein is not an enrolled student at the University of Virginia School of Law, nor do we expect him anytime in the future. In the future, if you have any questions about Admissions, feel free to contact me directly.”

    My response was “everybody needs a second chance, but at a MUCH MUCH lower tier school.”

    maybe Korea?

    A Virginia Law ambulance chaser wants to know “did the nigra file a civil suit and get paid? If not, call 777-777-7777…

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