REPUBLICANS IN THE NEWS  1:04 pm June 1, 2009

Tom Tancredo Top Aide Guilty of Racial Hate Crime

by Ken Layne, surprise: “On July 7, 2007, at approximately 7:15 p.m. at Jefferson and M Street, Northwest, in Washington, D.C., defendant was walking down the street making offensive remarks when he encountered the complainant, Ms. [REDACTED], who is African-American. The defendant uttered, ‘Nigger,’ as he delivered a karate chop to Ms. [REDACTED]’s head.” [Washington Independent]

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Fear of a Black Reagan June 1, 2009 at 1:08 pm

That’s crazy. A Jew for a Wop politican deploys a gook karate chop attack and calls a black lady the N-word. That’s diversity we can believe in.

octupletsmom June 1, 2009 at 1:09 pm

Today we are all Ms. [REDACTED].

hoosiermama June 1, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Yay! Bye-bye T-Tan!

ph7 June 1, 2009 at 1:11 pm

The dude’ sbeen admitted to the University of Virginia Law School, probably under the Sally Hennings scholarship.

magic titty June 1, 2009 at 1:13 pm

But did he exclaim ‘Hi-Ya’ like Chink might?

btw – thanks for The Ramones reference, Mistuh Layne.

greywindz June 1, 2009 at 1:13 pm

Wonder what does the new latina judge says…”yo gringo…there are two kind of people in this world…one who karate chops…and one who pleads…i chop…you plead…”

american mutt June 1, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Who the hell karate chops anymore?

JoeMac June 1, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Wow a moran working for Tom Tancredo, what are the odds of that?

Serolf Divad June 1, 2009 at 1:18 pm

If that old lady had been a white male, Sonia Sotomayor would have beaten her to death with an enchialda.

Just sayin’

mattbolt June 1, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Is the ancient art of karate the one weakness of the black man? (edit: woman, wtf!!)

dennymcden June 1, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Isn’t there a better legal term for ‘Karate Chop’ anyway? Pan-Asian, Martial Art-y, Slicing Hand Motion?

KilgoreTrout_XL June 1, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Epstein hatez blacks, not cocaine, adderall, liquor and being in the closet.

hobospacejunkie June 1, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Did T-Tan really need another push into oblivion?

Also, if someone is this extraordinarily racist is it conceivable that none of his co-workers knew? Or more likely that they, and their boss, shared and perhaps approved of his prejudices to some extent?

And what kind of deluded coward kicks a woman, for any reason?

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 1, 2009 at 1:20 pm

Rush Limbaugh was an aid to Tancredo?

ManchuCandidate June 1, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Looks like Marcus is going to have no friends in jail.

Common ground with, but loathed (Epstein, comeon!) by the Aryan Brotherhood.
Forget the Muslinbrotherhood.

azw88 June 1, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Sorry, but Ms. [Redacted] is no Nigger, to tell a family Secret, her grandmother was Dutch.

But seriously, this asshole is going to law school??? Where, Liberty University?? This guy is gonna shit when his constitutional law class discusses 347 U.S. 483 (Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka). Of course, law school at Liberty probably stops all coursework @ Plessy v. Ferguson.

dijetlo June 1, 2009 at 1:24 pm

A spokesman for Team America PAC confirmed that Epstein is still at work until he leaves for law school in the fall


The defendant uttered, ‘Nigger,’ as he delivered a karate chop to Ms. [REDACTED]’s head

See, if he’d studied Vietnamese martial arts he would have said “ngiger”, which have been all good. Also he’d be karate choppin’ Cambodians who don’t have a firm grasp of their civil rights instead of our African American brothers and sisters who gots a lawyer on speed dial.
Bush league mistake.

V572625694 June 1, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=328791]Serolf Divad[/re]: But Sotomayor would’ve have empathized with the old lady while flogging her with said burrito. Cuz that’s the way she rolls.

Zadig June 1, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Is there any sort of context here? The act in general just seems like such a fucking non-sequitur.

hobospacejunkie June 1, 2009 at 1:25 pm

[re=328785]american mutt[/re]: Charlie’s Angels? Or just that chick from Charlie’s Angels but in Austin Powers? Somewhat intelligent phone not built for research.

frailamerica June 1, 2009 at 1:25 pm

Karate chops for everyone!

dijetlo June 1, 2009 at 1:26 pm


Scarab June 1, 2009 at 1:27 pm

I know it sounds bad, but you had to be there.

lizard scum June 1, 2009 at 1:27 pm

Look, maybe she looked at him slantwise. Without respect, what I mean.

fuckinredneck June 1, 2009 at 1:29 pm

SHENANIGANS! Clearly an oriental did it!

joezoo June 1, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Here’s what we can take away from this. Rep. Tancredo opposes Sotomayor for the Supreme Court because she is “racist.” Presumably he would not support Epstein for Supreme Court, either. (Because “Epstein” sounds, I dunno, a little too Jew-y?)

hobospacejunkie June 1, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=328806]Zadig[/re]: Which both makes it all the more amusing (except for Ms. Redacted) and all the more appropriate for Mr. MakesNoSense Tancred(o.)

rmontcal June 1, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Wait, this happened on 7-7-07 at 7?

Dadaio June 1, 2009 at 1:34 pm

[re=328806]Zadig[/re]: I’ve been wanting some context for this thing too…the standalone circumstance is so perfectly insance, though.

This guy was just walking down the street…cold spoutin’ racist whatnot…comes upon the closest thing to Michelle Obama and decides its Clobberin’ Time????

chascates June 1, 2009 at 1:34 pm

Someone could make a fortune selling these people brown shirts.

Johnny Zhivago June 1, 2009 at 1:34 pm

I can’t imagine why the guy didn’t just plead insanity. I mean if he says he works with Tancredo and Bay Buchannan, who would even check further.

ph7 June 1, 2009 at 1:35 pm

[re=328822]rmontcal[/re]: 777? Maybe it’s the same luck that got him admitted to the tenth best law school in the nation (per USN&WR). You may want to direct your question to the University of Virginia’s Dean or the Director of Admissions

jaba the slut June 1, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Nothing new. In our Dojo, we all practice the Squatting Tancredo form of chop-socky.
Man up, Sheeples!!!!

Dramatist June 1, 2009 at 1:40 pm

I saw the headline “Tom Tancredo Staffer Pleads Guilty to Karate-Chopping Black Woman” and immediately pictured the first 15 minutes of KILL BILL. Basically, Beatrix Kiddo = Racist.

H. Duck June 1, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Epstein is biracial (half Korean, half Jewish), which apparently makes him white enuff to assault a random black woman. Here’s the little schmuck’s website:

ThePerfesser June 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

It’s perfectly understandable. You go out to hunt down some illegal messicans, and some old black person gets in the way. That black woman wasn’t part of the solution, so she must have been part of the problem. As W used to say, you’re either with us – or you’re against us.

lizard scum June 1, 2009 at 1:45 pm

[re=328827]ph7[/re]: That’s the number of the white man; we all know the number of the plaintiff in this case.

Carson June 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm

Epstein will be on Hannity within 36 hours.

ph7 June 1, 2009 at 1:47 pm

I like how one of the terms of his sentence is to keep taking his meds.

lizard scum June 1, 2009 at 1:49 pm

[re=328837]ThePerfesser[/re]: Damn, there has been an expansion in the last 50 years of what white means. Maybe we need to narrow it again, if it means fewer racists. (Which may exclude me, because I’m part Italian and part Hungarian Jew.)

Canuckledragger June 1, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Since the “victim” was black, it’s only 3/5 of a crime and he should only do 3/5 of the time.

And she shouldn’t have pressed criminal charges, but simply sued the prick. That’s why it’s called chop-suey.

A jew who works with/for a Buchanan and Tancredo. Who knew they were so tolerant?

JadedDIssonance June 1, 2009 at 1:50 pm

Where’s he going to lawschool? Liberty?

mrpuma2u June 1, 2009 at 1:50 pm

What a schluhmiel!!! Is using a pejorative yiddish term against a partial yid racist???

Hart88 June 1, 2009 at 1:51 pm

Everybody was kung-fu fighting
Those cats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightning
But they fought with expert timing

qwerty42 June 1, 2009 at 1:52 pm

According to TPM, Epstein is “half Jewish and half Korean. “

Cape Clod June 1, 2009 at 1:53 pm

This poor fellow can’t be expected to understand the consequences of his actions. I’m glad that he is attempting to improve hiself by enrolling in law school so that he can better understand exactly what is and isn’t considered legal in our society.

obfuscator June 1, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Arnold Horshack must be soooo embarassed by this guy.

Jsab June 1, 2009 at 1:54 pm
rev_matt_y June 1, 2009 at 2:03 pm

[re=328802]azw88[/re]: Dutch. Awesome. I’m going to have that running through my head all day now.

Mahousu June 1, 2009 at 2:08 pm

[re=328806]Zadig[/re]: It’s the Mel Gibson defense. Quoting the charging document (on After placing [Epstein] into custody, [a friend of Epstein's] arrived on the scene and advised [the arresting officer] that [Epstein] had consumed a few drinks. Plus called him “sugar tits” for good measure.

totoro June 1, 2009 at 2:09 pm

This doesn’t compute. How do you get into law school when you have charges for assault pending? You have to fill out reams of forms and explanations for everything from speeding tickets to highschool underage drinking but on your application, so I’m certain aggravated assault has got to draw some attention. He’ll have fun getting admitted to the bar when he has to explain to the interviewer in person why he hit a black woman in the head during a racist tirade on a DC sidewalk. Maybe in Virginia that is only viewed as minor property crime.

ManchuCandidate June 1, 2009 at 2:10 pm

Ugly on the inside and outside.

azw88 June 1, 2009 at 2:13 pm

[re=328822]rmontcal[/re]: Yup.. our lucky day! We get to fuck with Tancredo for ages over this one… and the timing of his admission of guilt, PRICELESS!

cosmicboy June 1, 2009 at 2:13 pm

Maybe he was one of the Cobra-Kai


” YES SENSI!!!!”



thejesusandmarycheney June 1, 2009 at 2:14 pm

[re=328827]ph7[/re]: I’m sure UVA Law alum Sheila Jackson-Lee would LOVE to know that this guy is joining her alma mater.

FormerDCite June 1, 2009 at 2:15 pm

So, this half-Korean, half-Jew guy walks into a bar… No seriously, WTF? This Epstein guy must have some serious issues. How is it not evident to him that back in the day he’d be forced to sit in the back of the bus with Rosa Parks? If he had chopped Rosa Parks she would have removed her earrings and glasses, and then opened up a can of whip-ass all over him.

mookworthjwilson June 1, 2009 at 2:18 pm

[re=328877]totoro[/re]: Well UVA is the institution that gave George “Macaca” Allen a JD…

imissopus June 1, 2009 at 2:19 pm

A half-Jewish, half-Korean alcoholic so ugly he couldn’t get laid in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas, on his way to law school at UVA (which is an actual, respectable university) if his guilty plea for karate-chopping a black woman and calling her the n-word doesn’t derail him. This could never have happened in Sadaam’s Iraq. Yay democracy!

azw88 June 1, 2009 at 2:22 pm

[re=328845]JadedDIssonance[/re]: that’s what I think: [re=328802]azw88[/re]

[re=328868]rev_matt_y[/re]: I would have linked the video of that scene, but the damned county gov’mnt block the interwebs from anything worthwhile like Youtube, Twitter, Facebook, etc. (obviously they haven’t caught on to the intertubes largest killer of time/productivity, Wonkette)

Wellstones Ghost June 1, 2009 at 2:22 pm

SHARE with Virginia Law how you feel about this. Here’s admissions and alumni.

guerilla-nation June 1, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=328877]totoro[/re]: Getting into law school is no problem, but when he goes for his bar interview, they’re going to make him sit on the Group W Bench.

thejesusandmarycheney June 1, 2009 at 2:29 pm

Some choice quotes from his facebook:

“Send lawyers, guns, and money. Dad get me out of this” -Warren Zevon

“Hatred strikes me as one of the few signs of life remaining in the world. This is another thing about the world which is upsidedown: all the friendly and likable people seem dead to me; only the haters seem alive.”– Walker Percy


queeraselvis v 2.0 June 1, 2009 at 2:30 pm

The first thing Epstein will learn when he gets to UVA will be this, obvs.

Serious June 1, 2009 at 2:37 pm


Serious June 1, 2009 at 2:38 pm

ugh that word rules

Zadig June 1, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I can’t believe I missed the most obvious joke ever.

With Karate I’ll kick your ass,
Here to Tienanmen Square
Oh yeah, motherfucker
I’m gonna kick yer fuckin’ derriere
You broke the rules,
Now I’ll pull out all your pubic

you motherfucker

Ms. [REDACTED] betrayed me
And then she lied, tried to hide
And I tai-ed deep inside
And you know the reason whyyy…

This, of course, casts the tale in a new light. Our protagonist’s Jewish half grieves for the loss of his fucking Schnitzel ([Redacted] ate it, considering it ‘fair game’), and his Korean half exacts vengeance using his extensive knowledge, as a Korean, of martial arts from, umm, Japan. CONTEXT, PEOPLE. NO JURY WILL CONVICT.

dijetlo June 1, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Epstein from Welcome back Kotter> was half Jewish and half Puerto Rican so…our kosher brothers seem to be able to hold down their end when it comes scoring to exotic tail…mozel Tov

V572625694 June 1, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Here’s an article from Epstein’s Web page: “Kristol Clear Scam: (VDARE; January 2, 2008 ) A critical look at the shadow boxing between the establishment Left and Right over Bill Kristol’s ascendancy to the NY Times Op Ed Page”

No need to read it — the title says it all.

paintitblack June 1, 2009 at 2:52 pm

That Tancredo “permitted” a half-Jew/half-Korean to work for him is, um, interesting, but the fact that Epstein wanted to work for Tancredo is more than mind-boggling. No wonder Epstein lost it… talk about projecting your self-loathing onto some random stranger. Perhaps that’s the context for this weird incident.

ph7 June 1, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Marcus pals around with the waterboarded

liquiddaddy June 1, 2009 at 3:21 pm

Why is he wearing a clown nose? How’s anybody supposed to take the guy seriously?

Carrie_Okie June 1, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=328893]Wellstones Ghost[/re]: [quote]SHARE with Virginia Law how you feel about this. Here’s admissions and alumni.[/quote]
QFM (Quoted for Maccaca)

HuddledMass June 1, 2009 at 3:44 pm

[re=328827]ph7[/re]: While your at it, drop a line to the Admissions Office at BU Medical. They not only admitted Markoff, the Craigslist killer, they had ANOTHER guy murder someone in 2001 — “Daniel Mason, a fourth-year medical student, shot and killed a man execution-style, critically wounded another, and shot their dog while they slept.” The caring physicians of tomorrow — way to go, institutions of higher ed.

problemwithcaring June 1, 2009 at 4:43 pm

[re=328793]dennymcden[/re]: Terrorist fist jab?

azw88 June 1, 2009 at 5:14 pm

[re=329032]HuddledMass[/re]: Nothing wrong with killing and maiming people as a Dr-to-be, you must understand how in difficult times, people of all sorts of lines of work have to actively drum up business.

Soon, UAW will have their members out jacking all sorts of cars, smashing them up and such to boost auto sales!

NYNYNY June 1, 2009 at 7:27 pm

[re=328822]rmontcal[/re]: Oh fuck, that’s hilarious. I know exactly where I was at the moment he was doing this then. I was at the bar at 77 West 7th street in New York- no joke. And no, it hadn’t occurred to the owners to do anything special at 7 on 7/7/07.

Wellstones Ghost June 1, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Just got this back from a Virginia Law Dean whose name I will omit, and thanked in advance.

“Marcus Epstein is not an enrolled student at the University of Virginia School of Law, nor do we expect him anytime in the future. In the future, if you have any questions about Admissions, feel free to contact me directly.”

My response was “everybody needs a second chance, but at a MUCH MUCH lower tier school.”

maybe Korea?

A Virginia Law ambulance chaser wants to know “did the nigra file a civil suit and get paid? If not, call 777-777-7777…

zhubajie June 2, 2009 at 6:42 am

[re=328802]azw88[/re]: Probably one of those fine unaccredited universities which advertise on the WWW!

Zhu Bajie

Wellstones Ghost July 6, 2009 at 1:29 pm

Is this going to get updated I hope BEFORE Marcus’s July 8 court date? Thanks.

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