Ralph Nader Says Terry McAuliffe ‘Slipperier Than an Eel In Olive Oil’

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Unsafe with any words.Republican operative Ralph Nader is always plotting against the Democrats, so now he’s back with the explosive charges that slimy rum-swigging scam artist Terry McAuliffe offered the Nader campaign some money — maybe fifty bucks? — to stay out of tough states in the 2004 presidential election. And how’d that work out? Well, the Democrats lost, though not because of Nader. (Hint: IT WAS KERRY & EDWARDS’ FAULT, FOR BEING AWFUL.) And now Terry’s running for governor of Virginia, what will happen?!

[Nader] said McAuliffe, who was the Democratic National Committee chairman at the time, had offered Nader’s campaign an unspecified amount of money, believed to be party funds, to spend in 31 states in exchange for an agreement to withdraw from 19 battleground states where he could potentially hurt Democrat John Kerry.

The allegation — which McAuliffe has not disputed — is the latest attempt to suggest that the candidate’s lengthy career as a confidant to President Bill Clinton and top party fundraiser could now be a political liability. McAuliffe’s aides countered that any effort he made to thwart Nader might actually play well with party loyalists.

Here’s some walking around money, Ralph, go play in the street.

It does have a certain appeal, but it also sounds like typical Clinton-gang sleaze, which we were all pretty tired of until George Bush Junior made us all so nostalgic for Clinton-gang sleaze, which was relatively harmless in comparison to, say, DESTROYING THE WORLD.

 
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Unfortunately, this is still the odious Ralph Nader we’re talking about, and as usual he just makes everybody want to give him a wedgie.

Here is something Nader actually told the Washington Post reporter, because it was sure to make everyone think Ralph Nader is a very witty character:

“Terry McAuliffe is slipperier than an eel in olive oil.”

STOP IT.

Nader: McAuliffe Offered Money To Avoid Key States in ’04 Race [WaPo]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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86 comments

  1. obfuscator

    It’s kind of telling that the Clintons were misappropriating funds in presidential campaigns waaaay back in 2004.

    RALF NADR is the precursor to the PUMA, also.

  2. shortsshortsshorts

    PURRTEKT THE PUMA OBFUSCATOR, for no reason at all. Goddamn the lobby is better without the tourists. Er TERRORISTS.

  3. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    My sources say that McAuliffe actually offered him 3oz of the Clinton’s best weed and every live Grateful Dead concert in the Library of Congress. The deal fell through when Nader held out for a VW minivan with a full tank of gas so he could get home.

  4. T. Way

    I’m surprised he didn’t offer Nader the money to concentrate on the swing states, to kick Kerry aside for Hillary’s epic fail in 2008. Anyway, if Nader had run in 2008 he might have gotten part of General Motors. But the UAW would kick him out once they realized he didn’t care about wages, just bumper car rocker panels and external airbags.

  5. rambone

    How does Nader find time to run for president AND star in all of those zombie movies?

  6. nader paul kucinich gravel

    Does history recall how great the fall can be?

    Called the man a fool
    Striped him of his pride
    Everyone was laughing
    Up until the day he died
    And though the wound went deep
    Still he’s calling
    Us out of our sleep
    My friends
    We’re not alone
    He waits in silence
    To lead us all home…

  7. obfuscator

    [re=326987]rambone[/re]: it’s pretty much the same thing, especially during the primaries.

  8. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=326986]T. Way[/re]: IF ONLY THAT CHRYSLER DEALER HAD CONTRIBUTED.

    And if only odious McFuckfuck Nader had kept his sights on not destroying the fundamentals of the “easy democracy” we all love and hate, together.

    Ah, magic.

  9. T. Way

    But think about it, Nader Haters. Would you have wanted Gore or Kerry as president. They’d have had Republicans in congress, remember (with probably no big seat gains in ’06 or ’08). Also, remember the platform these two ran on? (Neither do I.) We still would have had the financial and healthcare crises, no Hopey, and the ascendant necons would now be rallying around President McCain.

  10. CockedAle

    I thought I knew the enemy, but something has changed. If you are reading this, you are part of the resistance.
    –TerMc-Nader Salvation, the summer thrill ride.

  11. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=326996]T. Way[/re]: Yes, how could we possibly want Al Gore to provide rational leadership after 9/11. So much more fun to just go crazy and let Bush, Rove and Cheney work on their nightmares for eight years.

  12. Mr Blifil

    [re=326996]T. Way[/re]: Yes you’re right it’s inconceivable that there could possibly have been a worse alternative to Gore in office followed by Kerry for another 8 years. What could possibly have been worse than that? It beggars the imagination. There’s just no way to conceive of a worse result than Gore follwed by Kerry. And you’re right they would have had Republicans in office. They speak, like, their own whole language. Republicans in office deserve a Republican in the WH. This is common knowledge, and there really aren’t any conceivable alternatives, I have spent a lot of time trying to find them.

  13. T. Way

    [re=326998]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: But they were paranoid American nightmares, too, and sometimes it’s better to get them over with, like an exorcism (apologies to anyone who lost a loved one in Iraq). As much as these people preyed on fear after 9/11, there’s reason that the endless “War on Terror” couldn’t have had a longer shelf life for the neocons to exploit. The other good thing is that Bush-Cheney were fuck-ups (yes, I think like Rush Limbaugh). If the neocons had succeeded in Iraq, we’d probably be in Iran by now and in real trouble.

  14. Lascauxcaveman

    Eels in olive oil?

    Sounds like Nader has been frequenting that Anglo/Italian cafe down on 14th and Pine again.

  15. Mr Blifil

    [re=327003]T. Way[/re]: All of that went over my head. Try again, only this time while I sit on your face.

  16. T. Way

    [re=327008]Mr Blifil[/re]: Take the “slippery eel” out of your mouth so you can lip read it.

  17. gurukalehuru

    Let’s make things worse, so they can get better
    Make things so bad, that folks will rebel
    Follow me! and I’ll lead you to heaven
    with a quick detour, here through hell

    [re=327003]T. Way[/re]: what Lascauxcaveman said. The comment that started with “Fuck you.”

  18. hobospacejunkie

    [re=327009]T. Way[/re]: Please try to back out of this gracefully. It’s OK, we all shoot our mouths off on occasion. No need to prolong the pain by defending the indefensible simply because you feel the need to save face. Gore, Kerry, Wookie’s conservative mother, just about anyone on the fucking planet would’ve been better than bush/cheney and you’re probably the only person so far willing to argue that bush/cheney was good because hey! obama. does not compute. we can elect a negro anytime. we can’t get back the hundreds of thousands/millions dead. we can’t take back the torture and it’s consequent long-term damage to our country’s reputation. we can’t magically refill everyone’s retirement accounts. A simple “my bad” will suffice and we can move on.

    By the way, what happened to the turd? No big deal. I changed my name slightly a while back, too.

  19. tokugawa

    Ralph Nader is not a terrible person, just someone who cares and threw a close election to hell through a goldbergian set of circumstances. That said, T.Way’s comments however unpopular, are not insane, 9-11 and the collective insanity that happened afterward would still have occurred, we would not be in Iraq but hell if the Democrats wouldn’t have been destroyed in 2004 (way more then they were). I don’t know what would have happened after that (other than the financial crisis) but it would not have been good. Not good at all.

  20. gurukalehuru

    [re=327023]tokugawa[/re]: I respectfully disagree -since we seem to be getting all respectful – 9/11 would NOT have happened on Gore’s watch. It was an inside job, and depended very much on Cheney being on the inside. Marvin Bush, also.

  21. hobospacejunkie

    [re=327023]tokugawa[/re]: Iraq was the collective insanity after 911. Pretty much everything horrible follows from starting the Iraq war. It established that no one would stand up to bush/cheney and that they could pretty much do whatever the fuck they wanted with no oversight whatsoever. This same ‘philosophy’ carried over into the financial world. Really, it carried over into any kind of important government action (or inaction, Katrina) and any area where oversight was needed. They just let ‘em do whatever they wanted until the sky fell in. And I seriously doubt Al Gore would’ve manufactured evidence so as to make an excuse to invade Iraq. So I disagree. The collective insanity would not have occurred. In fact, Gore might have treated 911 for what it was, a criminal act whose perpetrators should be brought to justice. Not an excuse to further project US America military power around the world and stoke fear of a manufactured enemy.

  22. mollymcgwire

    [re=327005]trondant[/re]: Agreed, although he probably would not take money. In this one instance (and this one instance only), I’d be in favor of sending Jean-Claude Van Damme back to 1999 and instructing him to do a black site extraordinary rendition on Mr. Nader’s ass.

    If only those 600 people in New Hampshire knew then what they know now . . .

  23. BobLoblawLawBlog

    Fucking McAuliffe with his elitist olive oil. If he were a real Amurkin, he would be slipperier than an eel in partially hydrogenated vegetable fat.

    Out of curiosity, do we know that someone got paid to write an article about Nader? In this economy, with journalists so desperate to keep their jobs, this kind of hazing is just cruel.

  24. hockeymom

    And Gore might have read the memo “Al Queda determined to strike in US” instead of clearing brush in Texas. I may be alone on this, but I think 911 was preventable.

  25. DustBowlBlues

    [re=326998]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I debated both positions–yours and the “it was all worth it to get Hopey”–for a second this morning and you win. Obama may collapse under the weight of the piles of shit left by the Republicans. I doubt God could solve the mess they’ve left, esp. if he couldn’t do anything to bring my cat.

  26. DustBowlBlues

    Just so silver lining in our collective eight year nightmare. I will always blame Nader, taking to the podium his his expensive suits and smiling like the typical, ego driven politician. Fuck that weird fucker.

  27. titsmcgee

    I don’t give a shit what Nader says if it helps get McAuliffe out of my state. I don’t want to have to vote for Bob McDonnell. I really, really don’t.

  28. norbizness

    And Terry McAuliffe really is one of the more cringe-inducing candidates for a major statewide political office that I can think of (outside of the super-Republican states, where all the candidates are useless).

  29. norbizness

    [re=327053]DustBowlBlues[/re]: If I understand the unpopular argument made upthread, it’s good that the Titanic sank and killed 1500 people because Jimmy Cameron got to make that movie that employed lots of people and made Celine Dion a household fixture.

  30. finallyhappy

    When I saw Ralph Nader at Skewers, my friends told me ” no, do not go over to him and thank him for the war in Iraq, Afghanistan and George Bush” Interesting there is now a really scary painting of Bush at Skewers- I hope they make Nader sit facing it every time he eats there(which the waiter claimed was once a week)

  31. hobospacejunkie

    [re=327058]norbizness[/re]: That’s pretty much it. Makes perfect sense, huh? Though just to be sure, give us another example like the Titanic. That was funny.

  32. norbizness

    [re=327060]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Maybe something about the Iraq War and the 21st century spate of innovation in the prosthetic limb industry, but that might be too literal to be a metaphor.

  33. sad tortoise

    Y’know what? Nader-bashing may’ve been fun back in 2004, when I was young and dumb enough to think that Democrats gave a shit, but now that I’m out of the fourth grade I’ve gotta say, it does seem to look like (1) Gore lost the 2000 election because of his own terrible campaigning, combined with GOP ratfuckery and the Supreme Court, not because of anything Nader did; and (2) Nader’s been right on Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, torture, warrantless wiretapping, Wall Street deregulation and everything else the Democrats have cheerfully enabled over the past decade.

    So, really, I wish Dems would just grow up and stop blaming the last eight years on one old activist who had the nerve to not be a Democrat during an election year.

  34. The Schadenfried PAC

    [re=327003]T. Way[/re]: Those “paranoid American nightmares” you’re talking about are still infesting the minds of right-wingers to this day. I understand what you’re saying that if Gore or Kerry won we could have McAngry right now. But the right-wingers are more screechified and bat-shit crazy then they ever would have been if the former two were elected (I think it has something to do with them thinking the Negro in the White House will enslave them all).

  35. finallyhappy

    [re=327063]sad tortoise[/re]: Right because only you among all of the Democrats understands what happened. You sound more like a high school girl who still needs to grow up to understand what people are saying here at Wonkette. Is Ron Paul your current hero?

  36. Tra

    [re=327068]finallyhappy[/re]: And seatbelts! Also!

    Will no one remember the seatbelts? WHO WILL SPEAK FOR THE SEATBELTS?

  37. norbizness

    [re=327068]finallyhappy[/re]: I agree with Sad Tortoise. How do you vice-preside over eight years of peace and prosperity and then select Joe Lieberman as your running mate because your advisers have convinced you that having a purse-lipped scold who disapproves of President Clinton is the most important thing to the electorate (that and locking up Connecticut’s precious electoral votes)?

    But Nader as politician rather than consumer advocate is generally a fucking disaster anyway.

  38. x111e7thst

    [re=327063]sad tortoise[/re]: Nader used to not suck. That was many years ago. Now he sucks. While it can not be demonstrated that he did not cost Gore the presidency he certainly did not help. The best thing Nader could do is crawl into a hole and pull it after him.

  39. sad tortoise

    [re=327068]finallyhappy[/re]: No, my current hero is basic math:

    http://tiny.cc/hw6yZ

    “Though generally not mentioned among the contributors to Bush’s victory, we estimate that the Socialist Workers’ party candidate James E. Harris drew a sufficient number of votes (562, to be precise) from Gore in Florida to turn the presidential election. And so did Monica
    Moorehead (1,804 votes), the Workers World Party candidate in 2000.”

    Yes, that’s right – the 2000 election was spoiled not only by the sinister Ralph Nader, but by the mighty and terrible juggernaut of… the Socialist Workers Party!

    Al Gore ran an incredibly shitty campaign in 2000 – a campaign so shitty that his margin in Florida was eclipsed by MULTIPLE third-tier fringe candidates.

  40. The Schadenfried PAC

    [re=327068]finallyhappy[/re]: When I look back on this, I think Gore should have thought the Supreme Court harder because he really did win. I don’t blame Nader for what happened and not bashing those who do, but like it or not, sad tortise does have a point.

    That said, the problem with Nader is that he put himself in a position where he’s not taken seriously anymore. Rachel Maddow had it right when he said that he really hasn’t done anything to build a third party (and I bet money some Wonketteers would want a 3rd party).

  41. hobospacejunkie

    [re=327063]sad tortoise[/re]: Nobody’s saying the last 8 years would’ve been perfect had Gore rightfully been sworn in, just not nearly the hell on earth that they were. Democrats will always be duplicitous bastards. But I’d rather they had been enabling Gore evil than Bush evil. And if you’re so butt hurt about criticism of your boyfriend Ralph, why don’t you (gay?) marry him? Might make you feel better.

  42. nader paul kucinich gravel

    Did we hear Dr Ron’s name?

    Federal Reserve liars
    AIPAC liars
    911 liars

  43. sad tortoise

    [re=327076]norbizness[/re]: I think the most convincing explanation for why Al Gore picked Joe Lieberman is that at the time, Al Gore really, actually admired the policies of Joe Lieberman. The Al Gore of 2000 was a strong advocate of outsourcing torture and bombing Iraq; his “eight years of peace and prosperity” had seen hundreds of thousands of Iraqi kids die from disease and malnutrition under a US sanctions-and-bombing regime, and he personally lead the public campaign to defend a policy of bombing Baghdad under false pretenses (which more or less entailed willful distortions about their WMD program).

    That he ultimately spoke out against similar Bush-era policies once he was out of power and no longer surrounded by hawks like Albright and Holbrooke doesn’t say much about how he acted when he was actually Vice President.

  44. Carl Winslow

    Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure was written as a serious film about Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy getting blowjobs on a plane. ON TAXPAYER’S MONEY!

  45. Tra

    [re=327089]sad tortoise[/re]: No one is stopping you from hooking up with whatever pathetic party Nader is gracing with his extraordinarily overdeveloped ego now, but in the name of all that’s good and holy, please stop boring us about it. Enjoy casting your vote in the void, and go with God.

  46. SlipperyDick

    Thank goodness Nader didn’t win and take away our freedom to choose between having our genitals scanned or a friendly pat down by airport security.

  47. rev_matt_y

    Count me in the “Nader for head of FDA/FTC” camp. I voted for him in 92, 96, and 00 and don’t regret any of those votes. I might regret them had he won, however ;)

  48. Tra

    [re=327106]rev_matt_y[/re]: I’m a raving liberal, and just the sight of Nader at this point makes me want to immediately go out and do the opposite of whatever he’s telling me to do — club baby seals; help myself to a nice big bowl of carcinogens; buy a Hummer, deflate my tires, gun my engine to 200 mph and drive in the bike lane; convert my backyard fountain so it runs with gasoline …

    I’m just saying, perhaps putting a sanctimonious prick so nerve-grating he turns everyone he encounters into an enemy, even the ones who agree with him, is perhaps not the best choice for being in charge of anything.

  49. Red Zeppelin

    I am looking forward to having him post Mama Nader’s recipe for eel in olive oil. My guess is it’s got way too much garlic.

  50. lawrenceofthedesert

    Ralph made his rep on the Corvair; now the old guy’s looking like one. His heart may have been in the right place, if he has one, but his ego is not. Barry would have walked in regardless of events; it was a generational shift in voter demographics, inevitable — time for us Boomers to get out of Dodge after Clinton and w. Bush, our tragically flawed contributions to the White House. Connecting Gore to 9/11 or trying to link historical events causally are conservative board games. They have all the logic of, “If the Chicago Cubs had not traded Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio, Jose Canseco would not have taken steroids.” Urp.

  51. Woodwards Friend

    [re=326996]T. Way[/re]: You are right. I enjoyed eight years of Vice-President Dick Cheney. Can you imagine the awesome super liberals who would have eventually become president had George Wallace won in 1968?

  52. 19kevin8

    The last mental image I wanted this morning was penetration of Popeye’s biatch by aquatic creatures. Uck.

  53. Accordion-o-rama

    Political cuisinart:

    “Terry McAuliffe is slipperier than an eel in olive oil.”

    “Bill Clinton is hornier than braised rhino head in horn-toad sauce.”

    “Joe Lieberman is more unlikeable than slug livers in lamprey aioli.”

    “Rush Limbaugh is fattier than deep fried Beluga a la mode.”

  54. S.Luggo

    NPR this morning played a clip of McAuliffe giving a campaign speech. He made the pitchman for OxyClean sound like Thomas Acquinas.

  55. Custerwolf

    [re=327287]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Ralh Nader is duller than an ax blade that’s been used to chop up fifty hookers.

  56. Custerwolf

    [re=327302]Custerwolf[/re]: Jesus – I sound like I have cock in my mouth and it’s only 10am.
    “R-a-l-p-h”
    Better.

    ….gulp.

  57. El Pinche

    [re=327030]mollymcgwire[/re]: Or make him watch “Double Team” over and over again.

  58. Accordion-o-rama

    [re=327302]Custerwolf[/re]: I might have suggested mutually reinforcing parts, as in:

    “Ralph Nader is duller than Calvin Coolidge’s axe after bludgeoning fifty accountants”

    but I realize you’re speaking for experience.

    Please don’t hurt me.

  59. Custerwolf

    [re=327326]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: I might play rough, but I’ll never hurt you.

  60. DustBowlBlues

    To Virginians, my sympathy. McAuliffe really is a cringe-inducing dickwad, isn’t he?

  61. DustBowlBlues

    [re=327057]x111e7thst[/re]: Sadness turned to depression. No wonder I’m wasting time on wonkette.

  62. DustBowlBlues

    [re=327068]finallyhappy[/re]: ? to grow up to understand what people are saying here at Wonkette. Is Ron Paul your current hero??

    This view of what that ratfucker Nader did in 2000 (want to count the Supremes that asswad Bush got to appoint?) is analogous to the batshit crazy Republicans of 2009 saying “good riddance” to Specter or OK Democrats refusing to vote for Brad Carson (over Spooky Tom Coburn) because he wasn’t a “real Democrat.” It’s the losing-elections-because-you’re-too-pure-to-win strategy.

    Works as well now as it did in 1968 when we did it to Hubert Humphrey.

  63. DustBowlBlues

    [re=327104]Tra[/re]: “Enjoy casting your vote in the void, and go with God.”

    Ooh, so good it brought a smile to my tear streaked face. Yeah, the cat is gone. And Dick Cheney lives. God hates me.

  64. DustBowlBlues

    [re=327136]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: I’m with you on us Boomers. It’s time we give the kids a shot at fixing some of the massive amounts of shit we fucked up. Age of Aquarius, my fat, middle aged ass.

  65. The Schadenfried PAC

    [re=327408]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I agree, I had to my cat down about a month ago, and my BFF’s mom died last year. I always think that when tragedy hits.

  66. HuddledMass

    [re=327123]Tra[/re]: I’ve been a genyu-ine, SDS-type, hard-left person since 1970 and certain liberals just… They make me want to get one of those bumper stickers:

    “Nuke the gay baby whales”

  67. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    This is the problem with Ralph Nader, he puts you in the position of defending Terry McAuliffe.

Comments are closed.