WONKETTE BOOK CLUB  11:59 am May 28, 2009

Bachmann Comix Will Feature Sexy Flying Imams, Other Things

by Sara K. Smith

Palin/Bachmann 2012!The crazed baby-farming, Bush-groping McCarthyite fluorescent light bulb evangelist Michele Bachmann captures the imaginations of liberals and artists alike. How, they wonder, can somebody be so nuts without very publicly nurturing an addiction to high-strength prescription meds?

Bachmann lovers will be able to indulge their obsession with a fancy new comic book, hitting the stands “soon,” and it sounds like it’s jam-packed with fun stuff:

This is that one that TELLS IT ALL — it leaves NOTHING TO THE IMAGINATION! It’s all there, the global conspiracy to end American freedom, the apocalyptic last days of human kind, the lesbians in the bathroom, the threats, the vengeance, the Bush-kissing, the sordid lies, Satan, Jesus Christ, the flying imams —

Sounds nifty!

FALSE WITNESS! The Michele Bachmann Story
A Michele Bachmann comic misadventure [Citypages]
City Pages Preview of Bill Prendergast’s Bachmann Comic book “False Witness” [Dump Bachmann]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 36 comments }

Mr Blifil May 28, 2009 at 12:01 pm

I was hoping more for Bachman meets Fritz the Cat.

magic titty May 28, 2009 at 12:02 pm

But will Gerard Butler play her in the movie?

Blender May 28, 2009 at 12:06 pm

If there is none of the classic ripping of the bodices, I’m not getting anywhere near it.

bleh.

The Sea Farmer May 28, 2009 at 12:07 pm

She is a true American Hero

Frampton Comes Alive May 28, 2009 at 12:08 pm
The Sea Farmer May 28, 2009 at 12:10 pm

By that, I mean a sandwich.

CockedAle May 28, 2009 at 12:11 pm

St. Cloud, MN… shit; I’m still only in St. Cloud… Every time I think I’m gonna wake up back in the jungle.
a-BACH-a-LIPS now! Exterminate with extreme prejudice.
The whore, her. The whore, her.

kthxbai...also May 28, 2009 at 12:12 pm

what a redundant website name: http://www.biasedliberalmedia.com/

dogscantlookup May 28, 2009 at 12:12 pm

hooray! The Turner Diaries in graphic novel form

Turd Way May 28, 2009 at 12:16 pm

That drawing is great but it doesn’t capture Bachmann’s permanent lobotomy expression, which is even crazier.

hobospacejunkie May 28, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Will there be nudity? Converting of tey gheyz by her Jeffrey Jones-like husband? An incident with a crucifix & Ms. Bachmann as in The Exorcist? Indeed, does Ms. Bachmann’s mother suck cocks in hell? Is she proficient at said sucking or merely prolific? I’ll need answers to these & other questions before I even consider fapping to this book.

Chickensmack May 28, 2009 at 12:18 pm

“We are at the point, Sean, of revolution. And by that, what I mean, an orderly revolution –”

Hmm. Any written or drawn story should have a plot exposed before the climax, and all the loose ends tied up neatly. Who better to illustrate (n.p.i.) this than a person who believes in an orderly revolution?

“Bullets better get here before the caterer.” It’d fuck up the storyline to have all the killin’ and gore after the denouement.

SayItWithWookies May 28, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Ya gotta love her.

Because Baby Jesus will turn you into a pillar of salt if you don’t.

Chickensmack May 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm

[re=326280]dogscantlookup[/re]: I’ve already seen this kind of novelization before, in Chick tracts.

Mike Steele May 28, 2009 at 12:21 pm

Mr. Bilfil: I’m with you. We all, secretly or not, want to have steaming, crazy sex with Michelle, while denying our values, and taping it. God help me, I would deny global warming if I could get into her panties. Ultimately, that is what is so fascinating about her batshit insanity. Same with Ann Coulter. I admit it. If there really were a hell, I would be doomed to it.

I used to have a Fritz the Cat t-shirt.

charlesdegoal May 28, 2009 at 12:22 pm

She has a “seedy, hairy, loathsome underbelly”. Sounds like someone Ross Douthat would go for.

canadians for pussy May 28, 2009 at 12:22 pm

dont you think its time to go to here district (or what ever you call them down there)and burn down every building, salt the earth and sell those people to Sudunese slave traders.

El Pinche May 28, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Unless she’s in a Hideo Yamamoto manga, then I’m not interested.

actually, the comic misadventure is funny.

hobospacejunkie May 28, 2009 at 12:23 pm

[re=326278]CockedAle[/re]: The whore, her (!) You are a comic genius. Unless you stole that. In which case you are merely a jew york times columnist.

El Pinche May 28, 2009 at 12:28 pm

[re=326286]Mike Steele[/re]: There’s a crazy, religious, big tittied, whore-type lady at my gym that reminds me of Bachmann. She has a tramp stamp of a crucifix with a baby jesus ….seriously. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind sprinkling some pearls on her ham.

Fox n Fiends May 28, 2009 at 12:31 pm

I heard she that she is best friends with Kate from John & Kate plus 8

Cape Clod May 28, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Whatever happened to the one that had Hannity and the other wankers as comic book heros, trying to find out the mystery of who killed Matt Drudge?

Servo May 28, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Bill Prendergast, You Da Man!

Prommie May 28, 2009 at 12:39 pm

La Bachman, meh, she does nothing for me. But Katherine Harris, va va va voom, sitting so erect and perky on her horse, you just know she sucks the cock fantastic, and turns cartwheels across the the floor.

Brendan M. May 28, 2009 at 12:47 pm

[re=326290]hobospacejunkie[/re]: I concur with my hobo colleague in regards to [re=326278]CockedAle[/re]. Well done, sir or madame.

Canuckledragger May 28, 2009 at 12:49 pm

In which issue will Michelle’s Lizard People Liberation Army prevail over the Dogless Commies and Islamofascists who are the librul media and the scourge of right-minded peeps everywhere? I will use my bailout monies to buy that issue, and that issue alone.

Hey [re=326288]canadians for pussy[/re]:, your organ-ization sounds deeply interesting. Where does one sign up?

Lets Go Vertigo May 28, 2009 at 12:53 pm

I’m more into pre-”Crisis on Infinite Earths” Michelle Bachmann.

Scrodd May 28, 2009 at 1:05 pm

[re=326266]Mr Blifil[/re]: I was hoping more for Michelle Bachman meets Ron Jeremy and Max Hardcore.

liquiddaddy May 28, 2009 at 1:17 pm

Seriously, these humorless fucks can’t stand being made fun of. Keep it up.

heuristicdevice May 28, 2009 at 1:21 pm

[re=326328]Lets Go Vertigo[/re]: But in the post-”Crisis” continuity we still have the joy of multiple Bachmanns inexplicably raining down on Earth from the Multiverse. Plus, after the “Death of Bachmann” arc we’ll see her return with a Bon Jovi ‘do. Which is, like, comedy gold.

Monsieur Grumpe May 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm

I see little bit of R Crumb influence. Nice. She’d make a great character for a John Waters movie.

Zorg May 28, 2009 at 2:01 pm

[re=326286]Mike Steele[/re]: Well, if you really feel that way, this oldie-but-goodie will help you fap away: http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com/?zx=43885b6b00f8add2

widget09 May 28, 2009 at 2:05 pm

They just can’t open those FEMA camps soon enough. How in the world do you get elected when you are “out of the ballpark” crazy?????

Bruno May 28, 2009 at 4:10 pm

If there aren’t turkeys being slaughted simultaneously or live seal hearts being consumed, this comic book will be a bit second-tier

Accordion-o-rama May 28, 2009 at 5:05 pm

[re=326272]The Sea Farmer[/re]: I think of her more as a taco.

Dustin de Wynde May 28, 2009 at 6:56 pm

[re=326278]CockedAle[/re]: Fucking W!N. I hate you. Please up and fucking die. A lot. Thank you.

[re=326381]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Crumb called Twitter: http://silencedmajority.blogs.com/silenced_majority_portal/2009/05/robert-crumb-predicted-twitter.html

[re=326286]Mike Steele[/re]: Felt exactly the same way about Palin. Also.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: