Wonkette
As periodic as the Indian monsoons are the indictments of Rudy Giuliani’s best friend, Bernie Kerik. He was nearly made the Secretary of Homeland Security in 2004, but then he had to withdraw his nomination on account of “nanny problems,” which is DC slang for “a closet so full of skeletons and crookery that he should rent out a storage unit, paid for by unsavory corporate interests.”
About a year and a half ago, Kerik was indicted for fraud, tax evasion, taking bribes, and concealing more than $500,000 in income from the IRS.
So he was about due for another federal indictment, and at long last it has arrived:
Former New York police commissioner Bernard Kerik was indicted on charges of making false statements to White House officials vetting him for the secretary’s seat at the Department of Homeland Security in 2004, federal prosecutors said Tuesday.
Kerik, who served as commissioner from 1998 to 2002, allegedly gave false and misleading answers to Bush administration officials about his relationship with contractors who renovated his Riverdale apartment, according to the indictment handed up by a Washington grand jury. Prosecutors allege Kerik received and concealed benefits of about $255,000 in renovations to his home from contractors seeking to do business with the city of New York.
Similar charges were filed in New York a few months ago, but they were dismissed because the alleged crimes happened in Washington.
Bernie Kerik should run for president next time around.
Former NYPD commissioner indicted [Political Ticker]
Gee I hope this time around they are able to locate the missing Mexican nanny.
They look like two cut cocks in that picture.
Adam and Eve, not… forget it.
Ah yes, the Sen. Ted Stevens flavor of bribery and selective memory. Hope it works out just as well for you, Bernie.
I don’t even need this article. That picture effectively fills by LULZ quotient for the day.
As with Mr Weiner, the first time I laid eyes on Mr. Kerik back in 2001 - I neither liked him nor trusted him. I’m not easily blinded by situational ethics.
Hot damn I hate Rudy Giuliani. All photos of him are an incredible bummer.
Lying to White House officials is a crime? We live in opposite land.
“my” LULZ quotient….where’s my coffee?
Look at the happy couple. Rudy and Kerik should get gay married.
magic titty: Isn’t that the goddamned truth. I truly despise the man.
Custerwolf: I guess we’re supposed to believe your laying eyes.
magic titty: Reflect as I do that he spent +- $50 million to get less than 15% of the vote (and no delegates) in Fl’s Repuke primary. Sadly not his own money. But still.
At least Rudy is considerate enough to give his friends a reach around after fucking them over.
OK, where exactly is Rudy’s right hand and why is that guy smiling??? Has Rudy perfected the stealth reach-around to the point he can do it in public and not be busted??
Little know fact, Kerik was a shoe-in for the gig as George Costanza until he had to withdraw for Nanny problems.
Mr Blifil: You can also allow them to undress.
I was getting a good laugh in the office lunchroom over Kerik when his nomination to Homeland Security cratered, talking about how comically crooked he was and how ridiculous it was that a guy whose only qualification was that he was Guiliani’s driver got nominated in the first place, when a coworker got all huffy. Turns out he’s a longtime family friend. AWK-WARD!
Jus’ keepin’ our country safe.
There goes Washington again, criminalizing politics. We’re looking forward people, not dwelling in the past. Besides, Nancy Pelosi was informed about this in 2002 and she did nothing. It’s right here on this spreadsheet.
Imagine Judith Regan bent over in front of Bernie and that photo could compete with the McGreevy’s threesome.
“Nanny problems” is Republican code speak for “I don’t want to be the bottom any more”.
Sometimes the feds are a little too efficient. We would all have been better served to see the repubs sail him through nomination, lavishing him with damning praise, then eventually watch him resign in disgrace,
CorkPopper: Yeah, for the coworker. I can’t imagine how embarrassed I’d be if I had to admit to being friends with Kerik.
And now seems as good a time as any to remember our esteemed Vice President stuffing Giuliani’s nuts down his throat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mPOAKXBi9Pw
This is a little too early for Rudy’s run for governor of New York. But thanks for the Tom of Finland photo.
Never trust anyone named “Bernie” unless he’s dead and you’re spending the weekend at his beach house.
He was also taking hookers to the apartment(s) set up for 911 workers. What a scum.
assistant/atlas: FYI, to all and sundry, on a recent visit to Amsterdam’s Red Light District we learned that the word “LUL” is Dutch for “DICK”
Totally not making this up.
Am loading video proof up of this as we speak.
When submitting to ArsTechnica/4Chan MUST KREDIT ME!!1!! kthnx
My favorite Bernie moment was when Mayor Mikey stripped his name off of The Tombs:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/03/nyregion/03kerik.html?ex=1309579200&en=520ce7c8d2846ab6&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss
New York, New York, its a hell off a town, luvs ya when yr upps, kick the living shit out of u when u R downz.
Dean Booth: Exactly.
You lie to Alberto Gonzales: jail time.
Tenet tells you Iraq has WMDs: Medal of Freedom time.
And Rudy Giuliani still has a career because…why? Again?
Wait, I thought “nanny problems” was New York slang for having sex with a teenager at a gay couple’s house.
Custerwolf: Got distracted (so what else is new), should have been a “you” at the end there.
The more indictments that come down the closer to 9/11, the happier I am.
It’s really unfair, and snarky, to try to paint Guiliani and Kerik being involved in teh gay sects.
http://impiousdigest.com/GIULIANI-KERIK-kiss.jpg
Also.
I am sure Mr. Kerik will be BELOVED in the pen.
Why does headline not say “Corrupt Cousin-Marrying Megalomaniacal Fascist Mussolini-Clone Rudy Giuliani’s Ex-Partner Indicted For Utter, Soul-Deep Corruption and Massive Douchebaggery Similar To That of As-Yet Un-Indicted Rudy Giuliani?” Just Wondering.
lovekills: Those weren’d Hookers, that was Judith Reagan of ReaganBooks, or is it Regan of ReganBooks? His publisher for his printed lies.
Look out Bernie, Nosferatu is going for your throat!
magic titty: Except for pix of Rudy buttfukking Bernie on the street after sharing lattes at the Cafe Pierre. I never tire of that.
CorkPopper: You were making fun around the “FAMILY” Bernie Kerik belongs to? It’s a wonder you’re still alive!
I think ole gooly there’s got his loneliest number parked where the kerik don’t shine.
Judas Peckerwood: Thanks - that’s had me staring and laughing my ass off at that goddamned picture now for about a half-hour. My cheeks really hurt.