QUITTERS  10:08 am May 27, 2009

Anthony Weiner Not Running For NYC Mayor

by Sara K. Smith

Not cynical!Man, we kinda liked this guy! He was (is?) dating that pretty gal from the Clinton campaign, and he recently dared to say something not entirely positive about Jon Stewart, and hell, he is not Michael Bloomberg, all of which made him a refreshingly human-seeming type to run for New York Mayor. But he will not do this thing, for several reasons.

Number one, he does not have a BILLION DOLLARS unlike certain other candidates, and “there is no escaping the reality that political campaigns have become longer and more negative.” Who has the stomach for a long, vicious, ad-heavy battle with a plutocrat when the alternative is hanging onto your nice job as a Washington congressman and maybe actually accomplishing something?

Anthony Weiner seems like a pretty sensible person, which means he is probably doomed, politics-wise.

Why I’m Not Running for Mayor [New York Times]
Weiner Gives Up [Cityfile]

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DoctorCulturae May 27, 2009 at 10:12 am

Actually sounds like he wanted a career. Mayor Mikey would make him Times Square roadkill.

mookworthjwilson May 27, 2009 at 10:12 am

Damn…I was hoping for the Post/Daily News headline “HOT DOG!” if he won…

nappyduggs May 27, 2009 at 10:16 am

There are more constructive ways to protest the fare hike Congressman Tubesteak. Please don’t leave us here with Bloomy. He makes us eat vegetables with NO TRANS FATS:(

Naked Bunny with a Whip May 27, 2009 at 10:20 am

Wait, I thought Ed Koch was Mayor Eternal of NYC?

Mr Blifil May 27, 2009 at 10:22 am

Presumably this means there are pictures somewhere of him fucking Marty Markowitz while Huma barks orders nearby wearing a strap-on.

I’ll be right back.

magic titty May 27, 2009 at 10:23 am

The words ‘Mayor Weiner’ just wouldn’t have worked out.

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 10:23 am

By “we” do you mean you and that woman who is posing for a romance novel cover?

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 10:26 am

Is it really necessary for him to tell us why he’s not running?

x111e7thst May 27, 2009 at 10:27 am

[re=325279]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: No but 3rd term Bloomie is gonna be suckfest like 3rd term Koch was suckfest. And I don’t mean that in a good way.

charlesdegoal May 27, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=325279]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Mayor Lindsey, now that was someone! If you’re going to have a turncoat, let it at least be a Republican turned Democrat, or close to it, rather than the other way around.

x111e7thst May 27, 2009 at 10:29 am

[re=325285]Custerwolf[/re]: CMan Tubesteak (props to Nappyduggs) loves to hear the sound of his own jaw flapping.

Woodwards Friend May 27, 2009 at 10:29 am

His Jon Stewart comments seems awfully Denby-esque. Since he’s not running for mayor maybe Weiner can have dinner with Michael Kinsley.

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 10:33 am

“And the idea that I might be one of the people who could help it maintain its diverse yet proudly local, strong-willed but fiercely tolerant personality seemed like a gift.”

Or an overblown sense of self-importance.

ManchuCandidate May 27, 2009 at 10:36 am

Too bad. He might have been a decent Dick-Tator.

Larry McAwful May 27, 2009 at 10:37 am

I voted for Weiner in the 2005 mayoral primary, back when I lived in New York, so they still let me do that sort of thing. I knew that douchebag Ferrer was going to win the Democratic nomination, but I’ve been an anti-douchebag voter for a long time, so Ferrer was not an option. On Election Day, I voted for someone named Seth Blum, who was running on something called the Education party. I think he lost, and then Hizzoner foreclosed on New York County, my dissent was uncovered, and I was forced to evacuate the City.

Give Bloomie another four years and he still won’t complete the Second Avenue line, mark my words. And then Rudy Giuliani will come back for a third term, and the destruction of New York City will be complete.

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 10:37 am

[re=325289]x111e7thst[/re]: I have no idea why, but I instantly disliked this guy the second I laid eyes on him.
Maybe I’m just in a bad mood because the pig woke me up too early again. http://s389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/?action=view&current=HPIM3888.flv

norbizness May 27, 2009 at 10:38 am

I saw Bloomberg’s impassioned defense of wholesale neighborhood destruction in order to build the new corporate- and broken-bat-homer-friendly Yankee Stadium on an ESPN program. I know that every area of the country doesn’t have equal populist tendencies, but are Big Appollonians seriously going to make Mike their businessman-king for the foreseeable future?

Come here a minute May 27, 2009 at 10:39 am

[re=325283]magic titty[/re]: And if he received an Academy Award, everyone would talk about the Oscar Mayor Wiener won. Har!

jagorev May 27, 2009 at 10:40 am

SKS – Mike Bloomberg is a god among men. His seeming lack of humanity is only a reflection of his superhumanity. I expect you will send him a written apology note by courier as soon as possible.

magic titty May 27, 2009 at 10:40 am

[re=325287]x111e7thst[/re]: It’s already a suckfest. He turned from pragmatist to asshole three years ago.

Internally valid May 27, 2009 at 10:41 am

Weiner poopie is all that I’ll say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxkBYzkBnW8

Godot May 27, 2009 at 10:43 am

Bloomberg sucks (his solution for everything: build a new sports stadium!), but he’s gonna buy victory just like he did the last two elections and just like he bought the opportunity to even run a third time despite term limit laws, so there’s really nothing to be gained from running against him.

Besides I’m glad my district has a somewhat respectable Congressman. People say, if you don’t like something write to your Congressman about it, but I’m like shit, Anthony Weiner already KNOWS it’s bullshit before I do.

CockedAle May 27, 2009 at 10:46 am

Is this Juli’s husband? Or Dad?

Naked Bunny with a Whip May 27, 2009 at 10:48 am

@Come here a minute: Okay, time for the whip.

jagorev May 27, 2009 at 10:51 am

are Big Appollonians seriously going to make Mike their businessman-king for the foreseeable future?


*switches to serious mode*

Look, for an NYCer that cares about things like the quality of the schools, the police, and public transit, it is farking important that we have a mayor who gets that these things all depend on the economic health of the city. Bloomberg understands that the city’s economy depends on its govt-provided services and infrastructure, and the health of its services and infrastructure depends on getting revenue from businesses in the city. If you get some right-winger who’s all about cutting taxes willy nilly, or a leftie beholden to interest groups, the city’s fiscal situation will collapse, or its law-and-order situation will start to fall apart. Either way, the economy will suffer even further.

cf: New York in the 1970s.

The biggest risk now, with the financial industry collapsing, is that we neglect things like law enforcement and go back to the 70s. Everyone who lives here has a sense that we’re on a precipice right now – without tax revenue from the financial industry, we could easily just give up on the city and let it slide back to where it once was. No one who lives here wants to see that again. The city depends on business, and Bloomberg seems to understand that you have to maintain services and infrastructure even during a recession, and you have to do what you can to help NYC businesses.

Most New Yorkers I know think of Bloomberg as the best mayor we’ve ever had, and this is why we’re going to elect him dictator for life.

*switches off serious mode*

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 10:52 am

Wrong pig vid. I was looking for the one with Deliverance soundtrack.

x111e7thst May 27, 2009 at 10:58 am

[re=325302]magic titty[/re]: He can still get worse. Therefor he will. Quod erat demonstrandum..

x111e7thst May 27, 2009 at 11:04 am

[re=325310]jagorev[/re]: I liked NYC in the ’70. I used to hunt the junkies on Houston St. with my girlfiend’s dogs. I treed one at the top of a staircase in a big old apartment building. He had jumped up on the staircase railing with his works still in his arm. It was hysterical.

If higher crime rates mean that interesting kids can once more afford to live in NY so be it.

(Now I live on Riverside Drive and my doorman calls me sir. It’s boring)

x111e7thst May 27, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=325312]Custerwolf[/re]: Made my morning that did.

DemmeFatale May 27, 2009 at 11:06 am

I actually had a Gyno named Dr. Weiner.

Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof. May 27, 2009 at 11:10 am

If politics doesn’t work out, Weiner can always challenge Russell Crowe, Naomi Campbell, and Scott Rudin in the cutthroat world of celebrity phone-throwing-tantrum-having.

randomsausage May 27, 2009 at 11:13 am

Change his name to Schnitzengrubben and he’s got my vote

BadKitty May 27, 2009 at 11:19 am

[re=325283]magic titty[/re]: Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayor Weiner.

Mr Blifil May 27, 2009 at 11:20 am

[re=325295]Larry McAwful[/re]: But…but…Ferrer was a fiery Latina. They are ALL THE RAGE.

DangerousLiberal May 27, 2009 at 11:25 am

By claiming that it’s “corrosive” (or not) for those damn kids to get their Newz from the Daily Show, and by worrying that this is the only source of news these snarky whippersnappers get, this dude sets himself up for epic failure. He fails to understand that those damn kids actually know more about what’s going on, and can speak more intelligently about it, than the lumpen proles who for some reason think CNN is “news” and AndersonWolfCooperBlitzer is a “journalist.” (Oh, and let’s not get started on Faux News.) Thank god that there are still folks who watch Eyewitless news and World “News” Tonight to see what’s what in the world. Dumbass.

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 11:25 am

[re=325325]x111e7thst[/re]: He only stopped squealing because he saw me. If I don’t come outside he just goes on and on and on….

assistant/atlas May 27, 2009 at 11:26 am

I don’t know why everyone’s complaining so much about Bloomberg–at least he’s relatively competent and gets stuff done. Our dear LA Mayor Villaraigosa just basically stands around and smiles a lot. Of course, he does have a purdy mouth.

That said, this Weiner guy has the hugest lantern jaw I’ve ever seen. So maybe that’s what the classy ladies like SKS like. If so, SKS, I might point out that I have a nice square jaw and cheekbones that can cut glass. Just sayin’.

CorkPopper May 27, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=325310]jagorev[/re]: I had dinner with some Suffolk County residents a few years back and they tossed off a line about how we NYC residents must really miss Rudy. We laughed for several minutes and then explained that Rudy was a shithead and Mayor Mike, although imbued with the warmth and charisma of a turtle, is doing a great job.

That west side stadium thing was a genuinely crappy idea, though. Glad it got killed.

bitchincamaro May 27, 2009 at 11:37 am

[re=325327]DemmeFatale[/re]: I had a proctologist named Dr. Auger.

Mr Blifil May 27, 2009 at 11:38 am

Mr. Weiner, who described himself as a tough but fair boss, said he was setting an example by his own work ethic: “I don’t know anyone who works harder than me.”

OK, that statement is a sure sign that he’s a total dinkus putz motherfucker, and the fact that this jagoff gets to fuck Huma is just about enough to put me off my food. That said, given his “high turnover rate,” it looks like SKS may still have a shot.

Lascauxcaveman May 27, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=325283]magic titty[/re]: [re=325274]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Weiner:”winer” :: wiener:”weener.”

If he was using the proper German pronunciation, it would actually sound more like “viner.”

Mr Blifil May 27, 2009 at 11:40 am

[re=325357]bitchincamaro[/re]: True story. There was a chiropracter’s office near my old Long Island neighborhood, and the shingle read Dr. Mangles and Dr. Knotts.

bitchincamaro May 27, 2009 at 11:42 am

[re=325306]Godot[/re]: I think it’s time to bring back “The Little Flower”, Mayor La Guardia. He can read the funnies to us on the interwebs and get us over our little depression again. Bloomie is gloomy.

jagorev May 27, 2009 at 11:43 am

[re=325346]assistant/atlas[/re]: You know who else got stuff done? Hitler.

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 11:46 am

[re=325363]Mr Blifil[/re]: I’d be as nervous going in there as I would be entring a Planned Parenthood clinic staffed by Dr. Kutchyakocov.

slavojzizek May 27, 2009 at 11:50 am

I hate Bloomberg. He is already sending tons of junk mail for his reelection campaign, although its unlikely anyone serious will run against him. On the other hand, Wiener quotes Richard Florida, which can’t be good.

Lascauxcaveman May 27, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=325345]Custerwolf[/re]: You just need to eat that damn thing; that’ll shut him up.

Zadig May 27, 2009 at 11:53 am

Cityfile’s headline is “Weiner gives up.” Isn’t there a pill for that?

Lascauxcaveman May 27, 2009 at 11:56 am

[re=325367]jagorev[/re]: So everybody that gets stuff done is now Hitler?

Well, in that case, at least no one a work today can accuse me of being a Fascist dictator.

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 11:56 am

[re=325386]Zadig[/re]: Damned straight.

Custerwolf May 27, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=325380]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: We’re waiting for the economy to get worse.

jagorev May 27, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=325388]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Actually, I think Bloomberg is the only politician in the US America that gets stuff done.

Mr Blifil May 27, 2009 at 12:02 pm

[re=325372]Custerwolf[/re]: Why? Penisectomy has long been known to be a nearly foolproof contraceptive method. I read that in the Journal of Reproductive Health, I think it was co-authored by renowned obstetricians Dr. Stikyaprikin and Dr. Kuzjyuce.

jagorev May 27, 2009 at 12:04 pm

I love how snarky the WNYC correspondent is being about Weiner (pronounced Weeener) right now – he made a “real production” of his final campaign rally, with a “slow entrance” – and apparently he mostly whined like a biatch about Bloomberg’s dirty dirty money.

dementor May 27, 2009 at 12:08 pm

[re=325363]Mr Blifil[/re]: I believe it. In Venice, CA, near the Costco, there’s a surgeon’s shingle I would pass, and the name on it was Dr. Fillet. Someone should compile a list of actual doctors’ ironic names. I could add a couple more I know: Dr. Hertz and Dr. Payne.

dementor May 27, 2009 at 12:11 pm

To add to the pro-Bloomberg testimonials–I work with public health professionals, and they love Bloomberg because thanks to him, restaurants must list fat and calorie content on menus. So I hear.

Perot le fou May 27, 2009 at 12:33 pm

As someone who still believes politics could hypothetically make things not suck as much, I don’t think The Daily Show is cynical at all. In fact, Stewart’s aw shucks optimism really fucking grates on me.

gurukalehuru May 27, 2009 at 12:38 pm

The guy is an asshole. The public’s cynicism about politicians predates Jon Stewart by several thousand years, at least. And with good reason.

problemwithcaring May 27, 2009 at 12:40 pm

[re=325344]DangerousLiberal[/re]: And either the reporter couldn’t string together his meanderings into a coherency or he made no sense, because I wasn’t able to follow his “circular argument” that somehow Jon Stewart manufactures the cynicism that is synonymous with political engagement in this country. Can’t serious public servants and distinguished statesmen like A. Wiener stop the viscous corrosive cycle, by say, not swallowing man-meat in airport washrooms whilst funding illegal wars?

sezme May 27, 2009 at 1:32 pm

[re=325445]problemwithcaring[/re]: Yes! if you unravel his ‘circular argument’ what’s left is that people like Stewart shouldn’t make fun of politicians doing dumb things. This will cure the public’s cynicism regarding politics. Of course, the alternative (that politicians cease doing dumb things) is untenable and shouldn’t be contemplated. Wait, you “kinda liked this guy,” SKS? WTF!

lennixlewis May 27, 2009 at 2:51 pm

I don’t really know why anyone would like this guy. Granted, I’m not entrenched in New York Politicks, and I get the diversity hometown thing, but come on, he can’t even figure out the difference between jokes, satire and critique? I bet a million dollars Jon Stewart thinks Weiner (besides being pissed at the fact that he was constantly eating his leftovers out of the fridge whilst not even paying rent) is a total fucktard.

smellyal8r May 27, 2009 at 3:57 pm

I’m happy he does a good job repping his district and there he should stay. Weiner is a bit kah-ray-zee, but I think his heart’s in the right place. As mayor of NYC? Not so much. I wish Mike hadn’t pushed for this third term business, but he did so there you have it and his munnies will buy him a big win in November.

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