Anthony Weiner Not Running For NYC Mayor

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Not cynical!Man, we kinda liked this guy! He was (is?) dating that pretty gal from the Clinton campaign, and he recently dared to say something not entirely positive about Jon Stewart, and hell, he is not Michael Bloomberg, all of which made him a refreshingly human-seeming type to run for New York Mayor. But he will not do this thing, for several reasons.

Number one, he does not have a BILLION DOLLARS unlike certain other candidates, and “there is no escaping the reality that political campaigns have become longer and more negative.” Who has the stomach for a long, vicious, ad-heavy battle with a plutocrat when the alternative is hanging onto your nice job as a Washington congressman and maybe actually accomplishing something?

Anthony Weiner seems like a pretty sensible person, which means he is probably doomed, politics-wise.

Why I’m Not Running for Mayor [New York Times]
Weiner Gives Up [Cityfile]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • DoctorCulturae

    Actually sounds like he wanted a career. Mayor Mikey would make him Times Square roadkill.

  • mookworthjwilson

    Damn…I was hoping for the Post/Daily News headline “HOT DOG!” if he won…

  • nappyduggs

    There are more constructive ways to protest the fare hike Congressman Tubesteak. Please don’t leave us here with Bloomy. He makes us eat vegetables with NO TRANS FATS:(

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Wait, I thought Ed Koch was Mayor Eternal of NYC?

  • Mr Blifil

    Presumably this means there are pictures somewhere of him fucking Marty Markowitz while Huma barks orders nearby wearing a strap-on.

    I’ll be right back.

  • magic titty

    The words ‘Mayor Weiner’ just wouldn’t have worked out.

  • Custerwolf

    By “we” do you mean you and that woman who is posing for a romance novel cover?

  • Custerwolf

    Is it really necessary for him to tell us why he’s not running?

  • x111e7thst

    [re=325279]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: No but 3rd term Bloomie is gonna be suckfest like 3rd term Koch was suckfest. And I don’t mean that in a good way.

  • charlesdegoal

    [re=325279]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Mayor Lindsey, now that was someone! If you’re going to have a turncoat, let it at least be a Republican turned Democrat, or close to it, rather than the other way around.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=325285]Custerwolf[/re]: CMan Tubesteak (props to Nappyduggs) loves to hear the sound of his own jaw flapping.

  • Woodwards Friend

    His Jon Stewart comments seems awfully Denby-esque. Since he’s not running for mayor maybe Weiner can have dinner with Michael Kinsley.

  • Custerwolf

    “And the idea that I might be one of the people who could help it maintain its diverse yet proudly local, strong-willed but fiercely tolerant personality seemed like a gift.”

    Or an overblown sense of self-importance.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Too bad. He might have been a decent Dick-Tator.

  • Larry McAwful

    I voted for Weiner in the 2005 mayoral primary, back when I lived in New York, so they still let me do that sort of thing. I knew that douchebag Ferrer was going to win the Democratic nomination, but I’ve been an anti-douchebag voter for a long time, so Ferrer was not an option. On Election Day, I voted for someone named Seth Blum, who was running on something called the Education party. I think he lost, and then Hizzoner foreclosed on New York County, my dissent was uncovered, and I was forced to evacuate the City.

    Give Bloomie another four years and he still won’t complete the Second Avenue line, mark my words. And then Rudy Giuliani will come back for a third term, and the destruction of New York City will be complete.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=325289]x111e7thst[/re]: I have no idea why, but I instantly disliked this guy the second I laid eyes on him.
    Maybe I’m just in a bad mood because the pig woke me up too early again. http://s389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/?action=view&current=HPIM3888.flv

  • norbizness

    I saw Bloomberg’s impassioned defense of wholesale neighborhood destruction in order to build the new corporate- and broken-bat-homer-friendly Yankee Stadium on an ESPN program. I know that every area of the country doesn’t have equal populist tendencies, but are Big Appollonians seriously going to make Mike their businessman-king for the foreseeable future?

  • Come here a minute

    [re=325283]magic titty[/re]: And if he received an Academy Award, everyone would talk about the Oscar Mayor Wiener won. Har!

  • jagorev

    SKS – Mike Bloomberg is a god among men. His seeming lack of humanity is only a reflection of his superhumanity. I expect you will send him a written apology note by courier as soon as possible.

  • magic titty

    [re=325287]x111e7thst[/re]: It’s already a suckfest. He turned from pragmatist to asshole three years ago.

  • Internally valid

    Weiner poopie is all that I’ll say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxkBYzkBnW8

  • Godot

    Bloomberg sucks (his solution for everything: build a new sports stadium!), but he’s gonna buy victory just like he did the last two elections and just like he bought the opportunity to even run a third time despite term limit laws, so there’s really nothing to be gained from running against him.

    Besides I’m glad my district has a somewhat respectable Congressman. People say, if you don’t like something write to your Congressman about it, but I’m like shit, Anthony Weiner already KNOWS it’s bullshit before I do.

  • CockedAle

    Is this Juli’s husband? Or Dad?

  • Naked Bunny with a Whip

    @Come here a minute: Okay, time for the whip.

  • jagorev

    are Big Appollonians seriously going to make Mike their businessman-king for the foreseeable future?

    Yes. DEAL WITH IT.

    *switches to serious mode*

    Look, for an NYCer that cares about things like the quality of the schools, the police, and public transit, it is farking important that we have a mayor who gets that these things all depend on the economic health of the city. Bloomberg understands that the city’s economy depends on its govt-provided services and infrastructure, and the health of its services and infrastructure depends on getting revenue from businesses in the city. If you get some right-winger who’s all about cutting taxes willy nilly, or a leftie beholden to interest groups, the city’s fiscal situation will collapse, or its law-and-order situation will start to fall apart. Either way, the economy will suffer even further.

    cf: New York in the 1970s.

    The biggest risk now, with the financial industry collapsing, is that we neglect things like law enforcement and go back to the 70s. Everyone who lives here has a sense that we’re on a precipice right now – without tax revenue from the financial industry, we could easily just give up on the city and let it slide back to where it once was. No one who lives here wants to see that again. The city depends on business, and Bloomberg seems to understand that you have to maintain services and infrastructure even during a recession, and you have to do what you can to help NYC businesses.

    Most New Yorkers I know think of Bloomberg as the best mayor we’ve ever had, and this is why we’re going to elect him dictator for life.

    *switches off serious mode*

  • Custerwolf

    Wrong pig vid. I was looking for the one with Deliverance soundtrack.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=325302]magic titty[/re]: He can still get worse. Therefor he will. Quod erat demonstrandum..

  • x111e7thst

    [re=325310]jagorev[/re]: I liked NYC in the ’70. I used to hunt the junkies on Houston St. with my girlfiend’s dogs. I treed one at the top of a staircase in a big old apartment building. He had jumped up on the staircase railing with his works still in his arm. It was hysterical.

    If higher crime rates mean that interesting kids can once more afford to live in NY so be it.

    (Now I live on Riverside Drive and my doorman calls me sir. It’s boring)

  • x111e7thst

    [re=325312]Custerwolf[/re]: Made my morning that did.

  • DemmeFatale

    I actually had a Gyno named Dr. Weiner.

  • Professor Proffy McProfalton, Prof.

    If politics doesn’t work out, Weiner can always challenge Russell Crowe, Naomi Campbell, and Scott Rudin in the cutthroat world of celebrity phone-throwing-tantrum-having.

  • randomsausage

    Change his name to Schnitzengrubben and he’s got my vote

  • BadKitty

    [re=325283]magic titty[/re]: Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayor Weiner.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=325295]Larry McAwful[/re]: But…but…Ferrer was a fiery Latina. They are ALL THE RAGE.

  • DangerousLiberal

    By claiming that it’s “corrosive” (or not) for those damn kids to get their Newz from the Daily Show, and by worrying that this is the only source of news these snarky whippersnappers get, this dude sets himself up for epic failure. He fails to understand that those damn kids actually know more about what’s going on, and can speak more intelligently about it, than the lumpen proles who for some reason think CNN is “news” and AndersonWolfCooperBlitzer is a “journalist.” (Oh, and let’s not get started on Faux News.) Thank god that there are still folks who watch Eyewitless news and World “News” Tonight to see what’s what in the world. Dumbass.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=325325]x111e7thst[/re]: He only stopped squealing because he saw me. If I don’t come outside he just goes on and on and on….

  • assistant/atlas

    I don’t know why everyone’s complaining so much about Bloomberg–at least he’s relatively competent and gets stuff done. Our dear LA Mayor Villaraigosa just basically stands around and smiles a lot. Of course, he does have a purdy mouth.

    That said, this Weiner guy has the hugest lantern jaw I’ve ever seen. So maybe that’s what the classy ladies like SKS like. If so, SKS, I might point out that I have a nice square jaw and cheekbones that can cut glass. Just sayin’.

  • CorkPopper

    [re=325310]jagorev[/re]: I had dinner with some Suffolk County residents a few years back and they tossed off a line about how we NYC residents must really miss Rudy. We laughed for several minutes and then explained that Rudy was a shithead and Mayor Mike, although imbued with the warmth and charisma of a turtle, is doing a great job.

    That west side stadium thing was a genuinely crappy idea, though. Glad it got killed.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=325327]DemmeFatale[/re]: I had a proctologist named Dr. Auger.

  • Mr Blifil

    Mr. Weiner, who described himself as a tough but fair boss, said he was setting an example by his own work ethic: “I don’t know anyone who works harder than me.”

    OK, that statement is a sure sign that he’s a total dinkus putz motherfucker, and the fact that this jagoff gets to fuck Huma is just about enough to put me off my food. That said, given his “high turnover rate,” it looks like SKS may still have a shot.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=325283]magic titty[/re]: [re=325274]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Weiner:”winer” :: wiener:”weener.”

    If he was using the proper German pronunciation, it would actually sound more like “viner.”

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=325357]bitchincamaro[/re]: True story. There was a chiropracter’s office near my old Long Island neighborhood, and the shingle read Dr. Mangles and Dr. Knotts.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=325306]Godot[/re]: I think it’s time to bring back “The Little Flower”, Mayor La Guardia. He can read the funnies to us on the interwebs and get us over our little depression again. Bloomie is gloomy.

  • jagorev

    [re=325346]assistant/atlas[/re]: You know who else got stuff done? Hitler.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=325363]Mr Blifil[/re]: I’d be as nervous going in there as I would be entring a Planned Parenthood clinic staffed by Dr. Kutchyakocov.

  • slavojzizek

    I hate Bloomberg. He is already sending tons of junk mail for his reelection campaign, although its unlikely anyone serious will run against him. On the other hand, Wiener quotes Richard Florida, which can’t be good.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=325345]Custerwolf[/re]: You just need to eat that damn thing; that’ll shut him up.

  • Zadig

    Cityfile’s headline is “Weiner gives up.” Isn’t there a pill for that?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=325367]jagorev[/re]: So everybody that gets stuff done is now Hitler?

    Well, in that case, at least no one a work today can accuse me of being a Fascist dictator.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=325386]Zadig[/re]: Damned straight.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=325380]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: We’re waiting for the economy to get worse.

  • jagorev

    [re=325388]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Actually, I think Bloomberg is the only politician in the US America that gets stuff done.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=325372]Custerwolf[/re]: Why? Penisectomy has long been known to be a nearly foolproof contraceptive method. I read that in the Journal of Reproductive Health, I think it was co-authored by renowned obstetricians Dr. Stikyaprikin and Dr. Kuzjyuce.

  • jagorev

    I love how snarky the WNYC correspondent is being about Weiner (pronounced Weeener) right now – he made a “real production” of his final campaign rally, with a “slow entrance” – and apparently he mostly whined like a biatch about Bloomberg’s dirty dirty money.

  • dementor

    [re=325363]Mr Blifil[/re]: I believe it. In Venice, CA, near the Costco, there’s a surgeon’s shingle I would pass, and the name on it was Dr. Fillet. Someone should compile a list of actual doctors’ ironic names. I could add a couple more I know: Dr. Hertz and Dr. Payne.

  • dementor

    To add to the pro-Bloomberg testimonials–I work with public health professionals, and they love Bloomberg because thanks to him, restaurants must list fat and calorie content on menus. So I hear.

  • Perot le fou

    As someone who still believes politics could hypothetically make things not suck as much, I don’t think The Daily Show is cynical at all. In fact, Stewart’s aw shucks optimism really fucking grates on me.

  • gurukalehuru

    The guy is an asshole. The public’s cynicism about politicians predates Jon Stewart by several thousand years, at least. And with good reason.

  • problemwithcaring

    [re=325344]DangerousLiberal[/re]: And either the reporter couldn’t string together his meanderings into a coherency or he made no sense, because I wasn’t able to follow his “circular argument” that somehow Jon Stewart manufactures the cynicism that is synonymous with political engagement in this country. Can’t serious public servants and distinguished statesmen like A. Wiener stop the viscous corrosive cycle, by say, not swallowing man-meat in airport washrooms whilst funding illegal wars?

  • sezme

    [re=325445]problemwithcaring[/re]: Yes! if you unravel his ‘circular argument’ what’s left is that people like Stewart shouldn’t make fun of politicians doing dumb things. This will cure the public’s cynicism regarding politics. Of course, the alternative (that politicians cease doing dumb things) is untenable and shouldn’t be contemplated. Wait, you “kinda liked this guy,” SKS? WTF!

  • lennixlewis

    I don’t really know why anyone would like this guy. Granted, I’m not entrenched in New York Politicks, and I get the diversity hometown thing, but come on, he can’t even figure out the difference between jokes, satire and critique? I bet a million dollars Jon Stewart thinks Weiner (besides being pissed at the fact that he was constantly eating his leftovers out of the fridge whilst not even paying rent) is a total fucktard.

  • smellyal8r

    I’m happy he does a good job repping his district and there he should stay. Weiner is a bit kah-ray-zee, but I think his heart’s in the right place. As mayor of NYC? Not so much. I wish Mike hadn’t pushed for this third term business, but he did so there you have it and his munnies will buy him a big win in November.