- Fancy newspaper columnist Edmund Andrews wrote a book about why you should buy his book so the proceeds of his book can go to paying off his subprime mortgage. AIG gave it a AAA rating, which is why the entire universe has already pre-ordered on Amazon. [Matt Taibbi]
- Back when Money Czar Henry Paulson ran things, you weren’t allowed to leave a “working dinner” until you finished the box of Franzia Merlot that was duct-taped to your stomach. And then there was Timmy Geithner, the prude. [Politico]
- Barack Obama has a secret caging list he keeps on his BlackBerry, which is used to disenfranchise Dodge Durangos and other Chrysler products. [RedState]
- A pharmaceutical company has fulfilled an ancient Aztec prophesy — and a more recent Bill Kristol prediction — by tragically “sterilizing” marijuana in the form of a not-cool oral spray. [Slate]
- John Yoo, the microphallus who wrote Abu Ghraib fan fiction for the Bush Administration, has mercilessly broadsided Sonia-Maria Sotomayor with his creative grammar: “credentials do not an excellent justice make.” You should be expecting that royalty check in the mail any day now, Yoda. [The Enterprise Blog]
May 27, 2012
RedState Pillages Obama’s BlackBerry In Search Of Conspiracy Booty
by Riley Waggaman 3:04 pm May 27, 2009
{ 55 comments }
Removing the ‘high’ from cannabis is an abomination and flies in the face of God.
Like those who came up with decaf coffee and NA beer the perpetrators of this outrage will be cursed by me for the next five minutes.
the part you missed about Edmund Andrews is that wife declared bankruptcy twice before, which means she must now be sent to jail.
Whoa, easy on the asian men dick jokes, Waggaman. At least until they take the magic dick pills and become reverse dick jokers.
Republitards love EXCELLENCE above all else. Though I fail to see why they aren’t swayed by Sotomayar’s excellent tan.
If anyone knows excellence, it’s John Yoo! I mean, he’s such an excellent soulless Bush lawyer and all!
I just thought -everybody- who owned a car dealership was Republican.
Holy crap, that car dealer enemies list is conspiracy gold. Good find, Mr. “Waggaman”, if that is your real name.
Penises and penchants for sadism DO however an excellent justice make. /Yoo’d
I don’t care about John Yoo’s dick. I just want to crush his testicles.
Hi Riley. Welcome! Laughing at your rumors! Nice job.
[re=325647]Turd Way[/re]:
As one of the alleged penile “Challenged” Asian males, I don’t really mind.
a) I’m comfortable with the size of my wang.
b) John Yoo certainly acts like he does have a tiny dick and wants to punish the world for it.
Conservatives should defend the Supreme Court as a place where cases are decided by a faithful application of the Constitution
Hey, look what the torturer thinks. Fuck Yoo. Fuck Yoo with a studded, short-circuiting dildo in a puddle of stagnant ditchwater. Fuck Yoo until Yoo is a bleeding, crying, confessing-to-shooting-Abe-Lincoln fucking basket case. We don’t need Yoo. We don’t want Yoo. We don’t like Yoo. In fact we really really loathe Yoo because Yoo is an apologist for the most ignorant, anti-democratic, un-Humanist, un-Constitutional regime in living memory. Does someone need to suffer the agonies of torture, rendition, and being kept in a dank, filthy dungeon with crappy food and no contact with lawyers, no charges, no explanation and no hope the same way he inflicted it on countless thousands of others? Yes — and baby, it’s Yoo.
Can’t we just deport the microphallus and his creative grammar? I see no need to keep him around any longer. We could tell Vietnam that if they take him we will go easy on them in the next round of farmed catfish and shrimp talks.
[re=325645]jagorev[/re]: The WSJ or NYT version of Andrews’ story was compulsively readable.
Then you think about it: this guy is an “economics reporter” for the NYT? It make you wonder how credible reporters are when they say they’ve “covered” this or that topic for years, to make themselves sound like experts.
And then you read that Andrews’ wife declared bankruptcy twice.
And then you look at her picture and see that she’s about six inches taller than he is, standing in front of the sad little Bethesda colonial that impoverished them, or him. And she’s not that hot.
And then you fax all this off to Richard Cohen for his next column of maundering bloviation.
[re=325661]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Oh look — it appears we can correspons with Mr. Yoo at jyoo@aei.org.
[re=325665]V572625694[/re]:
It just means he’s perfect for the job.
No embarrassing questions.
No WTF moments.
Total ignorance.
Yay MSM!
[re=325667]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Then, by all means, please send him the above rant, it said it all.
[re=325661]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Nice rant, Yoo!
John Yoo for SCOTUS!
Let us see how that interview might go…
Interviewer: Mr Yoo, How do feel about…
Mr Yoo: Torture, torture, torture is legal!!
Interviewer: Please let me finish the…
Mr Yoo: Internment camps for socialist!
Interviewer: Just a minute please…
Mr Yoo: Death penalty!
Interviewer: This guy is thick as a whale sandwich. No more questions.
Mr Yoo: W is the king of the USA!
Then what exactly DOES make an excellent justice? We’ve ruled out credentials, thanks Yoo. Look how far Sarah Palin got without credentials. Just goes to show ya.
[re=325669]freakishlystrong[/re]: I sent him one that was a little more polite, but I think it got the idea across.
[re=325661]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Stop. You’re turning me.
WTF is WRONG with me? I keep shorting my sentences!!
[sigh...] ON.
Time to go to work, thank god.
[re=325661]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Only Yoo can prevent forest fires, though.
[re=325665]V572625694[/re]: I read the story in the NY Times and thought it was a great read and felt sympathy for him and even more for all those people with similar stories who don’t work for the NY Times– including, in some way, myself. If he can’t get out his trouble, then who can? Then I found out he got a book deal out of his problems, something that isn’t a doable option for all those people in debt and thought to myself “fuck him.”
[re=325680]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You MUST let us know if that war criminal gets back to you. It may be worth something after the trial…
The Andrews story, as I understand it, is newsworthy because the poor sap who wrote it should have known better. Apparently, business journalists are no wiser than the schmuck next door when free moneez are coming their way. Andrews, in a local radio interview yesteday, felt compelled to emabarass himself and his family, (by divulging personal financial earnings, and shortcomings) so as to underscore the scope and severity of this credit shitstorm we’re all suffering from now. I believe him when he says he didn’t write the book soley for the money, though he admitted he needed it; the agony and pain of spilling your rotten guts to your public, on a subject you’re supposed to have mastered, is pain and suffering enough, barely recompensed by meager book sales. And having sat through the entire interview, I promise you, the sales will be meager.
Also, I predict the next innovation will be weed suppositories …to make any medical benefit absolutely unpleasant, unless you’re into that sort of thing.
[re=325690]Custerwolf[/re]: “On” makes more sense. Otherwise I was going to say that I didn’t think you played for the other team.
[re=325696]TGY[/re]: And they also say that Yoo can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs. But it’s amazing how many eggs Yoo broke without making a decent omelette.
“One worrying sign is Sotomayor’s vote to uphold the affirmative action program in New Haven, CT, where the city threw out a written test for firefighter promotions when it did not pass the right number of blacks and Hispanics.”
You mean it did not pass any of them, dickwad. That’s why it’s called AFFIRMATIVE ACTION.
[re=325661]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=325672]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: What would John Woo even know about the faithful application of the Constitution? The only thing he and his evil ilk applied the Constitution to is their asses, after shitting on the very idea of constitutional government. Has this dimwit been disbarred yet? I would love to see him in the Senate, grilling SCOTUS candidates on their ideas about the constitution. Because anyone’s would have to be better than this sick mofo’s.
God, I hate John Woo.
[re=325661]SayItWithWookies[/re]:”Conservatives should defend the Supreme Court as a place where cases are decided by a faithful application of the Constitution”
…Just not the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, or Eighth Amendments, according to Yoo, since the President can just unilaterally decide to ignore them. However, the Supreme Court can still faithfully protect Americans from forced quartering of soldiers. Oh, and protect their guns.
[re=325713]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Yeah, damn him and his annoying overuse of slow-mo that’s been copied by way too many other action directors.
[re=325699]freakishlystrong[/re]: I’m not holding my breath for a reply. Anyone who can ignore the entire body of western civilized thought isn’t going to have a problem brushing off an irate email.
[re=325724]JMP[/re]: Although I give him props for his extended and technically intricate no-cut gunfight tracking shots.
Well, I haz no credentials. Can I haz a seat on SCOTUS, then?
Woo is an idiot.
“Microphallus” is right on. It isn’t that he HAS one, he IS one.
Matt Tabbi is dreamy (when he wears a baseball hat, that is).
Why is that tiny dicked fuckshitter allowed to write or speak?!!???
[re=325707]SayItWithWookies[/re]: btw – what IS your avatar?
[re=325661]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Congratulations. You have taken something so ugly, so inhuman and turned it into something beautiful, a work of art. You said it in just the right way as to make any attempt on my part to express anger toward this dumbfuckass futile.
Yoo is lucky a family member of someone imprisoned over the Abu Ghraib scandal hasn’t hunted him down and beaten him senseless. Although that probably isn’t possible. Let’s say beaten him until he lies groaning on the sidewalk, his skull caved in on one side, his teeth visible through the gash torn in his cheek, blood pouring from his mouth, nose and ears, his brain flickering out, then back in, to consciousness. Meanwhile, he hears someone screaming, like it’s coming from ten miles away, when in reality it’s coming from 2 inches away, repeating, after each steel-toed boot to the ribs, “do you feel tortured yet, asshole…do you feel tortured yet, asshole…”
[re=325953]Custerwolf[/re]: It’s part of the illustration I made for a homebrewed beer label (minus the verbiage and border). My friend and I made it in late 2005 and the recipe employed victory hops. And since Dubya’s “Strategy for Victory” came out around that time, we called it “Strategy for Victory” IPA, with my little logo instead of the eagle, but the same basic design. It’s an anvil with wings — an expression of my appreciation for the Dubya admin’s chances of success.
[re=325960]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Thank you.
And I’ll probably be gone until late this evening, so goodnight everyone.
[re=325724]JMP[/re]: Damn straight. And those scenes where he shits on the constitution–not fit for film. The bastard.
Take that, David Denby/Demby whatever the hell.
[re=325883]MarSF[/re]: Yes–big ups for Riley!
[re=325724]JMP[/re]: Yeah, any movie with John Travolta in it is torture by any reasonable standard.
Another name on the list is Ray Huffines, who owns a large dealerhsip in the Metro-Dallas/Ft. Worth area. The Huffines family have been major contributors to Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) over the years.
Would you shop at a dodge dealership called “unpainted huffines”?
[re=325665]V572625694[/re]: The strangest thing about the Andrews picture is that the two of them are just standing there, not paying any attention at all to the dead child and dog that are lying, literally, at their front doorstep. They must be living in a really bad part of Bethesda if something like that happens and it doesn’t faze them in the least.
I love booty, personally.
[re=325994]JoethePlumber[/re]:
He was wearin jammies.
I dunno, they had Yoda’s and shit on them.
[re=325967]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Also I keep using this same avatar because the shade of blue is fairly distinctive and so I can spot it when scrolling through the comments looking for where I last wrote something. Believe it or not, whenever I write a comment I read every entry preceding it so I don’t duplicate something, although of course that happens sometimes anyway.
anyone else notice how GODAWFUL the formatting and/or editing of redstate.com happens to be? just as lulzy as the content!
[re=325647]Turd Way[/re]: Yeah dude,some of us have been here longer than you.
Riley, the John Yoo entry is funny on so many levels. Priceless. Welcome to the winning team.
Ken, give this guy a raise! Two bags of stolen airline raisens a day instead of one.
[re=325647]Turd Way[/re]: Yeah dude, some of us have been here longer than you.
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