Wonkette
Sonia Sotomayor has been an official Supreme Court nominee for all of an hour, so the HONEYMOON’S OVER. Now both her defenders and her detractors can get to the hard work of justifying their jobs by shouting at each other on television, sending out terrible shrill press releases for members of the media to immediately throw in their junk mail, and just generally acting like crazed assholes who make you nostalgic for the days when the Senate would quietly debate a nominee for a few days before saying, “Enh, looks fine to us.”
So what are they saying about this lady, whom we have already established is not terribly bright, and also extremely irresponsible for having “caught” diabetes at the age of eight?
- PRO: “Known as a moderate on the court, Sotomayor often forges consensus and agreeing with her more conservative nominees far more frequently than she disagrees with them.”
- CON: “Justice Souter’s retirement could move the Court to the left and provide a critical fifth vote for: Further eroding the rights of the unborn and property owners; Imposing a federal constitutional right to same-sex marriage; Stripping “under God” out of the Pledge of Allegiance and completely secularizing the public square; Abolishing the death penalty; Judicial micromanagement of the government’s war powers.”
Oh God the fiery Latina is going to micromanage the war from the bench!
It is too bad President Obama has committed to shutting down Guantanamo, when there are so many writers of talking points to imprison indefinitely.
White House Armed With Talking Points For Sotomayor Fight–Evoke Her ‘Empathy’ [TPM DC]
RNC fumbles Sotomayor talking points [The Hill]
Who’s gonna defend the rights of unborn property owners?
“Completely secularizing the public square.” Yeah, God forbid the Justice Department actually does its job and follows the Constitution.
“Reserve judgement” is GOP-speak for “our Heritage Foundation interns who we pay in sandwich coupons are about to get back to us with some major twisted shit about El Diabetes LaFatFace.”
agentstinky: Shit I mean Supreme Court not Justice Department. It’s because I am high on the marihuana. Perhaps the Court should do something about that too?
“Capt Hernandez, this is Justice Sotomayor. I want you send 1st platoon out on a frontal assault of Hill 3417. When they receive fire, the mortar squad from 2nd platoon will execute a flanking movement up the reverse face of the hill, establish a field of fire, and walk in their mortars on the enemy’s fighting positions. On my command, you will fire for effect. Is that clear?”
That’s not a chihuahua. Nice try, though.
Micromanaging war powers? Judge Sotomayor will get Dick Cheney’s strappado armature when she pries it out of his cold dead hands!
“The rights of the unborn”
They really will never comprehend the inanity of statements like that, will they?
A little OT, but this just shows Barry’s stroke of genius. Anyone hearing anything about North Korea on the cable news this morning…I frankly think that’s a little more important but what the hell do I know!
Thank you, President Obama, for waiting until just after Memorial Day to announce this choice, knowing we now all have a good long break before we are forced by politeness to communicate with our in-laws again. The sane portion of a grateful nation extends its gratitude.
ZOMG!!1!! SHE’LL UNDERMINE THE RIGHTS OF UNBORN PROPERTY OWNERS AND MAKE THEM GAY MARRY!!!1!!
That whole “CON” section sounds like a delicious tropical paradise to me.
“Judicial micromanagement of the government’s war powers.” Does that mean that we are going to get war crimes trials? Because I really, really want war crimes trials.
I would have been a lot more alert during the pledge of allegiance in grade school if it involved God stripping.
Right…explain again how the rights of the “unborn” and “property owners” are linked in the same clause. If the unborn, once born, fail to own property, do they lose their rights? What about unborn renters?
I love how we need to worry about her killing babies and NOT killing prisoners at the same time.
Here come the forced empathy camps!
Sending out terrible shrill press releases for members of the media to immediately read verbatim on the air as if they were actual news stories and generally acting like craven assholes.
/Fixed
You’re welcome.
We can only hope she does all of the things listed under “con.”
Why does the RNC hate baseball?
magic titty: “The rights of the unborn”.
ie. the right to not have to live in a Jesus-themed, radioactive, toxic, health-care-free world ruled by Zaibatsu Megacorporations and populated by gay pedophiles (aka REAL America)?
I eagerly await her construction of 2nd Amendment rights to mean exclusively “switchblades”
CON: Mandatory abortions for door prizes at gay marriages. Possible empathy.
PRO: Makes terrific tacos, or whatever they eat in P.R.
Today is Pinko De Mayo.
Mitch McConnell’s has spoken:
“Senate Republicans will treat Judge Sotomayor fairly. But we will thoroughly examine her record to ensure she understands that the role of a jurist in our democracy is to apply the law even-handedly, despite their own feelings or personal or political preferences.”
Because Roberts, Scalia, Alito and Thomas always hold themselves to that high standard.
V572625694: Whereas any real(white male)Leader of Men would know that the only way to get a decent frontal assault out of a cowardly Missican like Hernandez would be to have the mortar squad from second platoon drive him forward by shelling his position.
If she never worked as a child sex slave in the steamy climes of Latin America, she does not have sufficient empathy. She might have time before the confirmation hearings to make up for some lost ground.
Wait! He’s nominated somebody? Does that mean Judge Judy is definitely out?
Sadly, the nomination of the first Hispanic to the Supreme Court will come to a screeching halt when Lou Dobbs reveals that she has not been paying the SS taxes for her nanny, housekeeper, and gardener who are all here illegally.. from Canada.
Pro: she has a uterus
Con: she has a uterus
Yes, but can she Salsa? What bigoted tripe is this, we get a black guy who can’t play basketball and a Spanish chic who can’t Salsa? Fetch me Salma Hayek and let the castanets rip, I’ll show you JUSTICE!
Everything in that “con” list looks like a positive to me. Also, interesting
stink, but: The owners of the unborn.
I’m starting a futures market in unborns. Puts and calls only.
Either Obama has locked up the Hispanic vote for the next generation, or the Republican’s reaction to her nomination will do the same thing. I can’t decide which.
Damn that Obama!!!
Country Club Jihadi: Win.
ph7: I somehow doubt God looks, sounds or thinks anything like Lara Logan. Or just the first four words of that sentence, too.
In hindsight, she may regret having payed for those ads on the new Craig’s List adult section by using a credit card.
I also wonder if she ever fucked disgraced Oxford Professor of Poetry candidate Derek Walcott. Seems just about everybody else did.
Mr Blifil: Maybe she could be payed in candy bars?
Is that a chihuahua or are you just happy to see me?
I need to know more about the guys who are sayin’ that she is stoopid.
think of the children.
otoh, there seems a good chance the GOP will po both women and the Hispanic community even more with their expected insane rantings about her.
Jesus Christ, the best thing Talking Points Memo could come up with is that she agrees with conservatives a lot? When did Josh Marshall turn into such a pussy?
octupletsmom:
All well educated and/or Ivy Leaguers with impeccable intellectual credentials.
Hahahahahahahahaha
Just shitting you. The smartest probably are lucky to get “degrees” from DeVry and/or Liberty/Regent/bumfuck hick bible college and the majority are lucky to knows there (sic) wurds things from Grade X (not 10, X) which theys gots on account of them being on the Junior varcity (sic) Football team with Coach Nebs (who for some reason liked to watch them shower after practice.)
ph7: I would have been a lot more alert during the pledge of allegiance in grade school if it involved God stripping.
Little known fact: God was invented in 1953, for the purpose of adding him to the (previously godless communist) Pledge of Allegiance.
When is FOX News going to send an intrepid reporter to the South Bronx to interview the residents and dig up some dirt from her childhood?
I suggest Glenn Beck.
Repug Senator John Kyl is demanding an investigation of how the 2nd Ciruit Court of Appeals (a) was able to hire Sotomayor when she didn’t have a green card and (b) failed to withhold taxes from her wages as a taco presser in the courthouse cafeteria.
So we see how it’s going to be now, don’t we? We’re going to get a supreme court stacked with abortionist marxists.
Monsieur Grumpe: Here come the forced empathy CRAMPS.
I can feel Wayne LaPierre’s shitfit. Guns & Ammo Run II.
Biker Dog for SCOTUS! Or at least Commerce Secretary. That job’s still open, isn’t it? Or did that Warshington guy get confirmed after an exhaustive HR Block auditing? Screw it, just give him Bo’s job!
I still need to see Sotomayor and K-Lo in the same room at the same time to be completely comfortable with this pick. Jonah Goldberg should be there as well.
Cape Clod: “…insure she understands that the role of a jurist in our democracy”
Why didn’t Mitch clear that up that last two times the senate confirmed her? There is simply no end to these pricks.
Lascauxcaveman:
Oh, you should see the wingnut faces when I reveal that fact. Absolutely livid.
Well noted Constitutional law “expert” Jonathan Turley had a fucking meltdown over on MSNBC calling Judge Sotomayor “intellectually lacking” and then dissed Thurgood Marshall.
God’s gonna get him for that…
I hope she does better on the bench than in the ring. Her temperment was much too judicial for the boxing business.
http://www.boxrec.com/list_bouts.php?human_id=58306&cat=boxer
12:49 PM (EDT) In keeping with the times, Turner Classic Movies is now showing, “On the Spanish Trail,” with Roy Rogers, Andy Devine and Tito Guizar. How appropriate!
In like 11 minutes they announce the ruling on Prop 8 in California. Come on, Gay Agenda!
x111e7thst: I think they call that tactic “Red-Army style.”
I hope Obama’s next court pick is better looking. Otherwise, the robes should come with hoods.
magic titty: “The rights of the unborn” is the greatest gift to a profession since the “symptomless disease” was discovered by the medical profession. I’m waiting for the results of my blood test at the moment, so my urologist can decide if I need potentially debilitating procedures to cure a disease I might never had known that I had.
I heard her speech on NPR. I am disappointed. I wanted her to sound like Rosie Perez.
How do we REALLY KNOW that Sotomayo was Obama’s pick for SCOTUS when there were SO MANY TEleProMPtorZ in the room when he said it? Maybe he was just responding to the teleprompting!!! And why is the MSM press so silent about this issue???? Why???
Who is this “Sonia” person you keep referring to? According to Huckabee, her name is Maria.
http://www.politico.com/blogs/bensmith/0509/Huck_comes_out_firing__at_Maria_Sotomayor.html
I think he’s watched “West Side Story” a few too many times.
Holding Out for a Hero: She’s a woman. That automatically makes you intellectually suspect to Georgetown faculty. They never see any.
Joshua Norton: All PR chicas are secretly named ‘Maria.’ Even Huckabee knows this.
Nice to see the RNC continuing to fuck up and accidentally releasing stuff. Golden Foot-in-Mouth award for all parties responsible!
Also, Barry should not forget the ultimate rebuttal for GOP SC appointment nonsense: Harriet Myers.
Beau Radley:
The ‘White Men Can’t Jump’ Rosie or the ‘Pineapple Express’ Rosie?
Perfect how the first trope the republicans will try is that she’s a dumb affirmative action imposter who likes reverse racism and socialism. Let’s see, Princeton Cum Laude, Yale Law review editor, and so on. Sounds pretty dumb to me. And everyone knows empathy=socialsm. All that stuff worked out so well last November against another scary, swarthy liberal intellectual, so why not try it again? I love watching republicans bang their heads against the same wall over and over.
They should just wait until she makes Puerto Rico the 51st state.
She’ll spray paint over the Pledge in big wildstyle letters, One Nation, Under Razo52
GreyPanter: Intittalitus?
Beau Radley: Hell, I wanted her to LOOK like Rosie Perez…
Does this mean we can finally get on with the socializm?
NoWireHangers: No shit. I was waiting for the CON side of her story. Bad HTML coding, I’m thinking. Effing intertubes.
What a great pick. The white men who run the Senate aren’t going to know what to do with her (actually, she looks like Fran Liebowitz). They’ll huff and puff and let loose the young interns with their idiocy for the summer and she’ll be confirmed 70-29 with no successful filibuster and only the seriously right wing (and wingnuts who are up in ‘10) raising hell. As for the bench, she sounds like a middle of the roader, ala Ginsberg. She ought to just use Roberts’ confirmation comments (”I’m like an umpire…”) and see if anyone notices.
Servo: The White Men Can’t Jump Rosie, absolutely. It would have been double fun to have heard Cokie Roberts give her word-by-word recap of proceedings…
Scalia: “Clearly, in this instance, the plaintif has not provided adequate evidence that waterboarding is torture.”
Sotomayor: “Oh no you di’int”
If confirmed, Sotomayor will no doubt use her activist judicial philosophy to let Dumbledore get married.