Oh boy, even on the NPR they are saying, “Sonia Sotomayor is a loudmouth who thinks she makes better decisions than white men.” (“I’m paraphrasing,” says the commentator.) The nerve! This whole scenario is playing out exactly as ordained in Christopher Buckley’s latest fictional opus.
10:15 AM — Well goddammit President Obama has been a good ten or fifteen minutes late for every announcement he’s made since he became president, and here he is at 10:15 AM on the nose and your editor must decide between scarfing down an English muffin and typing. GUESS WHO WON.
10:17 AM — He looks pretty pleased, so that’s nice. Fun fact: Judge Sotomayor was appointed to various positions by both George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton. She is certainly NOT an affirmative action pick, education-wise, as she attended those elite universities and law schools that all the elites go to — including Yale Law School, the Harvard of law schools.
10:20 AM — “Some say that Judge Sotomayor saved baseball.”
10:20 AM — Blah blah blah, a long and distinguished resume. And a distinguished biography.
10:22 AM — AWW Sonia’s mom! CBS is only showing the back of her head. It is a very empathetic head.
10:23 AM — Overcome the odds, lived the American dream, etc. Yes, except that Rosen says she doesn’t really have any friends. (This is also the American dream, to be free of friends.)
10:24 AM — He finally broaches the very difficult topic of her SECRET DIABETIC SHAME, which kept her from being Nancy Drew.
10:25 AM — Standing ovation. Did Biden lean over and say, “I think they like you”?
10:26 AM — Her turn to talk. Her whole family is here, including twin nephews with proper yuppie names.
10:28 AM — Upholding the law, more resume recaps, a wealth of experience, blah. Remember John Roberts and his two cute kids who like ran around the stage when HE was introduced to America? Judge Sotomayor should have hired those kids for the morning.
10:32 AM — “An ordinary person who has been blessed with extraordinary opportunities and experiences.” Translation: a radical leftist lesbian radical who will take away your guns, force your children into kindergarten abortion parties, exhume the corpse of Ronald Reagan for the purposes of urinating on it, and surrender in Iraq.
10:40 AM — Quick analysis: A pretty goddamn dull introduction, both from Obama and from Sotomayor, but that was probably the point. All that stuff about “And then she had this job, and that job” is just supposed to suggest that, in spite of her lack of whiteness and male parts, she is actually qualified to serve on the Supreme Court, and in fact is quite comfortingly boring.