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HOLIDAYS ARE COMMUNIST!

Beaches Are Communist; Stay Home This Weekend


The first thing wrong with this video is it shows a mixed-race couple, which must still be illegal somewhere in the “Real America,” maybe Alabama or Texas? But the rest teaches our children a valuable lesson about why they can’t have nice things: Because that’s socialist! So if you want to go to the beach, try the “American way” and earn millions of dollars, and buy some beachfront property, and shoot any mixed-race couples you catch trying to use your beach, the end. [YouTube via Wonkette tipster Curt]


4:58 PM on Fri May 22 2009
By Ken Layne
3147 Views

  1. chascates says at 5:08 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Race-smace, that’s a fine looking lady!

  2. tunamelt says at 5:09 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    the helllllll

  3. SayItWithWookies says at 5:09 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Oh, yes! I’ve been recommending that option to our anti-government friends for a while now.
    http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/2009/03/president-obama-announces-website-for.html

  4. nappyduggs says at 5:11 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    It is because of our constant suckling upon the saggy, bloated teat of government that our idea of “piracy” has been relegated to bootlegging “Terminator: Salvation.”

    “I’m off to see Somolly with a machete in m’teeth”

  5. dijetlo says at 5:11 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Damn liberals, whining about a little cholera…go shoot some school kids, it’ll make you feel better.

  6. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 5:13 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    She is mighty fine, he is mighty gay.
    Let’s meet and have a baby now!

  7. A Better American Than YOU says at 5:13 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    In Alabama, teh lady would be white and teh gentleman would be of colored — and the beaches would look a whole lot nicer than that.

    More money for faith-based cholera cures, eh?

  8. Bruno says at 5:15 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    chascates: Are you sure that’s a lady? Have you checked her ladyparts?

  9. ManchuCandidate says at 5:16 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    I’m a gonna ride a blimp
    I’m a gonna raise a teabag
    about a workin’ all summer
    then taxed some fuckin dollars

    but each time I take a dump
    try to get a flush
    Ron Paul says
    No mains, Son, Paultardism works

    Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
    but there ain’t no cure for the Free Market Blues.

    A well my Mom ‘n’ Papa told me
    Son, you gotta make some money,if you wanna build the road to go a drivn’ next Sunday, well
    I didn’t go to my job because I was sick
    Now I don’t pay for the doc,’cause I don’t earn a lick.

    Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
    but there ain’t no cure for the Free Market Blues.

  10. american mutt says at 5:16 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    black girls ftw

  11. Mr Blifil says at 5:17 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Laugh all you want libtards, there’s no way his parents are going to be OK with her nappy head when thay all meet around the dinner table.

  12. DoctorCulturae says at 5:19 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    win Ken. When do we get to see the pron version?

  13. Hooray For Anything says at 5:22 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Not bad. I’m awaiting the Republican response where they have two attractive Southern Bible Thumpers traveling through Sweden as the announcer sarcastically talks about the benefits of socialism, intercut with pictures of hot Swedish women, clean streets, public transportation, and happy middle class workers about to spend three of their four vacation weeks clubbing in Ibiza.

  14. Custerwolf says at 5:23 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Seeing Ted Nugent in that clip had the same effect on me as accidently walking in on my mom and her boyfriend having sex.

  15. Turd Way says at 5:27 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Laissez-faire, also why Somalia is such an economic powerhouse. They invented computers and internet.

  16. nappyduggs says at 5:30 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Custerwolf: There are no accidents.Also.

  17. Turd Way says at 5:30 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Plus, the Somalians are free of that dreaded “sense of entitlement” for a “reasonable life expectancy.”

  18. chascates says at 5:35 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Bruno: I’d be glad to check them.

  19. SayItWithWookies says at 5:36 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Turd Way: And qat, one of the few addictive drugs not popular in the United States. Talk about failure to exploit a market.

  20. Georgia Burning says at 5:41 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Somali pirates are sort of over-agressive time-share salesmen, too bad those socialists in the US Navy are interfering with free market initiative.

  21. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 5:44 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    It’s all right. Tom Coburn has guaranteed our rights to conceal carry in National Parks, so soon we too will be a Somalia like paradise.

    Plus, lets face it, if the bears don’t know who is packing, won’t they be a lot less likely to attack?

  22. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:46 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Dear Sir:

    I wish to entice of you in a very prestigious business matter involving many great sums of money. The transaction is taking place in the U.K., as I am currently in Somalia on a beach vacation. Please send to me your account information that we may endeavor to complete the transaction.

    Many Professional Regards,

    Mr. Whimsley

  23. Custerwolf says at 5:51 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    nappyduggs: You are absolutely right, which makes me think the only reason I even used that superlative was to cover my tracks. On the other hand, had I truly wanted to watch my mom having sex [*involuntary shudder*], I’d have just drilled tiny holes in the ceiling like my brothers did so that they could watch me and my sister’s friends undress (we had a swimming pool).

  24. Custerwolf says at 5:55 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Statistics used to show that those who were packing in bear territory were the most likely to get into trouble, ostensibly because they would be less cautious. And usually drunk.

  25. nappyduggs says at 5:58 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Custerwolf: Just let’s us all remember that transparency is what we all strive for in BAmerica. Snoogins.

  26. Custerwolf says at 6:01 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Have you read “The Lucifer Principle” by Howard Bloom?

  27. SayItWithWookies says at 6:13 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Custerwolf: No, but I just looked it up on Amazon. It looks entertaining if a little far-fetched (according to the reviews).

  28. Custerwolf says at 6:22 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: I read it when it first came out - so 15 years ago? - but for me it was good myth-breaker. He’s a bit rough on the muslims (pre-9/11 Osama)but also the christians. The subtitle is something like ‘The biological roots of history”? and that sums it up nicely. He writes in a very entertaining style so it will keep your attention. I’ll go see what the reviews say…..

  29. SayItWithWookies says at 6:26 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Custerwolf: I’m due to replenish my reading material as soon as I’m done with The Guns of August, so I’ll keep it in mind. It’ll fit nicely into the historical theme I’ve been finding myself in lately.

  30. Custerwolf says at 6:30 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Return to discuss.

  31. Fox n Fiends says at 6:54 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Is Texas the new Somalia?

  32. canadasteve says at 7:02 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Jeepers! Watching that video gave me herpes! Is that the same as cholera?

  33. June Cleaver 2.0 says at 7:10 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    That last line is not just snark or funny. It is an effective line and should be some dem’s slogan.

  34. slavojzizek says at 7:30 pm, May 22nd, 2009
  35. Custerwolf says at 7:38 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    slavojzizek: You don’t think I haven’t read that book?

  36. Custerwolf says at 7:49 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    slavojzizek: And while I wouldn’t recommend that particular book to any but my worst enemy, I do recommend “How We Die” by Sherwin Nuland.

  37. sanantonerose says at 7:58 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Custerwolf: thanks for the warning. i’ll lock the door next time, kid.

  38. Custerwolf says at 8:03 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    sanantonerose: Don’t think I didn’t have trouble looking her boyfriend in the eye after that uncomfortable little episode. His dismount was not a graceful one, let me tell you.

  39. ZombieRichardFeynman says at 8:38 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    slavojzizek: One of the biggest problems I have with “everything is controlled by the secret societies” types of books like that one is that it presumes an unlikely amount of non-blabbing by an awful lot of people. Also I don’t find “Vietnam-era intelligence officer” to lend any special cachet, being a vet of the Army Security Agency in Vietnam and Korea with a TSC/NoForn/Umbra/Ishtar/Cat 3 CommInt clearance back in the day myself. I sure never picked up a whiff of such conspiracies.

  40. Custerwolf says at 8:45 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    ZombieRichardFeynman: Sanity tends to make us blind to delusions.

  41. DC Hates Me says at 10:05 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    ZombieRichardFeynman: “I sure never picked up a whiff of such conspiracies.”

    Maybe they smoked it after you left. But seriously, closet potheads are paranoid about everything. The whole libertarian movement reeks of paranoid conspiracy.

  42. Custerwolf says at 10:13 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    DC Hates Me: Yeah. What is up with that????

  43. hpwilliams says at 10:33 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    DC Hates Me: Who told you about me. They are really out to get me, I gotta quit talkin about it, I’m not paranoid I toke in the garage not in a closet. Just the words together “military intelligence” makes me cloths the drapes and turn out the lights. That group can find a reason to do what ever their asked to find a reason for. Always with an * based on best available intelligence.

    Does the free market approach in Somalia work for incarceration? Best jails for the price, lets send the terrorists there and save a bunch of money, yaay free market

  44. DC Hates Me says at 11:43 pm, May 22nd, 2009

    Custerwolf: Jews, gays and rich girly-men control the government, that’s why. They control the government by using secret handshakes, coded language, and secret meetings in Geneva to sip Swiss Miss from ornate silvery mugs.

    And that’s why we must send teabags and dirty socks to our representatives in congress.

  45. assistant/atlas says at 12:09 am, May 23rd, 2009

    The only really funny part of that video is the cholera bit. Still, I will watch a hot girl in a bikini do just about anything for 60 seconds or so. Thanks, Ken!

  46. Custerwolf says at 12:16 am, May 23rd, 2009

    assistant/atlas: She does have a nice rack.

  47. greywindz says at 10:09 am, May 23rd, 2009

    Isn’t she sexy!!!???

  48. Paul Tardy says at 5:03 pm, May 23rd, 2009

    Caleefornia is collapsing under unpayable government salary and pensions schemes, and bad acting. Last I heard they were tear gassing teachers in LA, and the Latino “Varrio Hawaiian Gardens” gang is targeting random blacks. We shall see how long this “government” thing you are so fond of survives Bwah HAH AHH AHHH. BTW, why does the hot black chick always play opposite a schmendrick? You know like Hally Berry and Billy Bob what’s his name.

  49. FormerDCite says at 8:28 pm, May 23rd, 2009

    Having been to Mogadishu, I can tell you that it is paradise. There is no sales tax, no income tax, no speed limits, no regulation on green house emissions, and no ambulance chasing lawyers. I recommend it to anyone who wants to get away from the oppression of the American Government. They also don’t have an active extradition treaty, so you can move there without paying your federal and state taxes, and nobody can get you. I think Rush, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity should take their hard earned money and move to K-7 today.

  50. OzoneTom says at 10:51 pm, May 23rd, 2009

    So the pirates and Republicans really are kindred spirits?

  51. Paul Tardy says at 3:53 am, May 26th, 2009

    BTW Wonkette. First I see fried chicken riot stories. Now you are making fun of an African country. Is it that everyone is on memorial day vacation leaving behind a skeleton staff of neo whatevers? I wait impatiently for some Detroit crime stories, especially apocalyptic north of 8 mi stories.

  52. groove says at 12:17 pm, May 26th, 2009

    So, yeah, reminds me of the South Park episode where Cartman goes to Somalia to be a pirate because life in Colorado is so unfair.

    Had my ass rolling.

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