• May 27, 2012

Beaches Are Communist; Stay Home This Weekend

by Ken Layne  4:58 pm May 22, 2009


The first thing wrong with this video is it shows a mixed-race couple, which must still be illegal somewhere in the “Real America,” maybe Alabama or Texas? But the rest teaches our children a valuable lesson about why they can’t have nice things: Because that’s socialist! So if you want to go to the beach, try the “American way” and earn millions of dollars, and buy some beachfront property, and shoot any mixed-race couples you catch trying to use your beach, the end. [YouTube via Wonkette tipster Curt]

{ 52 comments }

chascates May 22, 2009 at 5:08 pm

Race-smace, that’s a fine looking lady!

tunamelt May 22, 2009 at 5:09 pm

the helllllll

SayItWithWookies May 22, 2009 at 5:09 pm

Oh, yes! I’ve been recommending that option to our anti-government friends for a while now.
http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/2009/03/president-obama-announces-website-for.html

nappyduggs May 22, 2009 at 5:11 pm

It is because of our constant suckling upon the saggy, bloated teat of government that our idea of “piracy” has been relegated to bootlegging “Terminator: Salvation.”

“I’m off to see Somolly with a machete in m’teeth”

dijetlo May 22, 2009 at 5:11 pm

Damn liberals, whining about a little cholera…go shoot some school kids, it’ll make you feel better.

queeraselvis v 2.0 May 22, 2009 at 5:13 pm

She is mighty fine, he is mighty gay.
Let’s meet and have a baby now!

A Better American Than YOU May 22, 2009 at 5:13 pm

In Alabama, teh lady would be white and teh gentleman would be of colored — and the beaches would look a whole lot nicer than that.

More money for faith-based cholera cures, eh?

Bruno May 22, 2009 at 5:15 pm

[re=323479]chascates[/re]: Are you sure that’s a lady? Have you checked her ladyparts?

ManchuCandidate May 22, 2009 at 5:16 pm

I’m a gonna ride a blimp
I’m a gonna raise a teabag
about a workin’ all summer
then taxed some fuckin dollars

but each time I take a dump
try to get a flush
Ron Paul says
No mains, Son, Paultardism works

Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
but there ain’t no cure for the Free Market Blues.

A well my Mom ‘n’ Papa told me
Son, you gotta make some money,if you wanna build the road to go a drivn’ next Sunday, well
I didn’t go to my job because I was sick
Now I don’t pay for the doc,’cause I don’t earn a lick.

Sometimes I wonder what I’m a gonna do
but there ain’t no cure for the Free Market Blues.

american mutt May 22, 2009 at 5:16 pm

black girls ftw

Mr Blifil May 22, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Laugh all you want libtards, there’s no way his parents are going to be OK with her nappy head when thay all meet around the dinner table.

DoctorCulturae May 22, 2009 at 5:19 pm

win Ken. When do we get to see the pron version?

Hooray For Anything May 22, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Not bad. I’m awaiting the Republican response where they have two attractive Southern Bible Thumpers traveling through Sweden as the announcer sarcastically talks about the benefits of socialism, intercut with pictures of hot Swedish women, clean streets, public transportation, and happy middle class workers about to spend three of their four vacation weeks clubbing in Ibiza.

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 5:23 pm

Seeing Ted Nugent in that clip had the same effect on me as accidently walking in on my mom and her boyfriend having sex.

Turd Way May 22, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Laissez-faire, also why Somalia is such an economic powerhouse. They invented computers and internet.

nappyduggs May 22, 2009 at 5:30 pm

[re=323510]Custerwolf[/re]: There are no accidents.Also.

Turd Way May 22, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Plus, the Somalians are free of that dreaded “sense of entitlement” for a “reasonable life expectancy.”

chascates May 22, 2009 at 5:35 pm

[re=323497]Bruno[/re]: I’d be glad to check them.

SayItWithWookies May 22, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=323514]Turd Way[/re]: And qat, one of the few addictive drugs not popular in the United States. Talk about failure to exploit a market.

Georgia Burning May 22, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Somali pirates are sort of over-agressive time-share salesmen, too bad those socialists in the US Navy are interfering with free market initiative.

Lionel Hutz Esq. May 22, 2009 at 5:44 pm

It’s all right. Tom Coburn has guaranteed our rights to conceal carry in National Parks, so soon we too will be a Somalia like paradise.

Plus, lets face it, if the bears don’t know who is packing, won’t they be a lot less likely to attack?

shortsshortsshorts May 22, 2009 at 5:46 pm

Dear Sir:

I wish to entice of you in a very prestigious business matter involving many great sums of money. The transaction is taking place in the U.K., as I am currently in Somalia on a beach vacation. Please send to me your account information that we may endeavor to complete the transaction.

Many Professional Regards,

Mr. Whimsley

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 5:51 pm

[re=323516]nappyduggs[/re]: You are absolutely right, which makes me think the only reason I even used that superlative was to cover my tracks. On the other hand, had I truly wanted to watch my mom having sex [*involuntary shudder*], I’d have just drilled tiny holes in the ceiling like my brothers did so that they could watch me and my sister’s friends undress (we had a swimming pool).

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 5:55 pm

[re=323526]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Statistics used to show that those who were packing in bear territory were the most likely to get into trouble, ostensibly because they would be less cautious. And usually drunk.

nappyduggs May 22, 2009 at 5:58 pm

[re=323532]Custerwolf[/re]: Just let’s us all remember that transparency is what we all strive for in BAmerica. Snoogins.

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 6:01 pm

[re=323519]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Have you read “The Lucifer Principle” by Howard Bloom?

SayItWithWookies May 22, 2009 at 6:13 pm

[re=323541]Custerwolf[/re]: No, but I just looked it up on Amazon. It looks entertaining if a little far-fetched (according to the reviews).

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 6:22 pm

[re=323555]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I read it when it first came out – so 15 years ago? – but for me it was good myth-breaker. He’s a bit rough on the muslims (pre-9/11 Osama)but also the christians. The subtitle is something like ‘The biological roots of history”? and that sums it up nicely. He writes in a very entertaining style so it will keep your attention. I’ll go see what the reviews say…..

SayItWithWookies May 22, 2009 at 6:26 pm

[re=323561]Custerwolf[/re]: I’m due to replenish my reading material as soon as I’m done with The Guns of August, so I’ll keep it in mind. It’ll fit nicely into the historical theme I’ve been finding myself in lately.

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 6:30 pm

[re=323563]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Return to discuss.

Fox n Fiends May 22, 2009 at 6:54 pm

Is Texas the new Somalia?

canadasteve May 22, 2009 at 7:02 pm

Jeepers! Watching that video gave me herpes! Is that the same as cholera?

June Cleaver 2.0 May 22, 2009 at 7:10 pm

That last line is not just snark or funny. It is an effective line and should be some dem’s slogan.

slavojzizek May 22, 2009 at 7:30 pm

[re=323561]Custerwolf[/re]: Sounds hilarious. But I prefer serious history:

http://www.amazon.com/Behold-Pale-Horse-William-Cooper/dp/0929385225/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1243035079&sr=1-1

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 7:38 pm

[re=323628]slavojzizek[/re]: You don’t think I haven’t read that book?

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 7:49 pm

[re=323628]slavojzizek[/re]: And while I wouldn’t recommend that particular book to any but my worst enemy, I do recommend “How We Die” by Sherwin Nuland.

sanantonerose May 22, 2009 at 7:58 pm

[re=323510]Custerwolf[/re]: thanks for the warning. i’ll lock the door next time, kid.

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 8:03 pm

[re=323643]sanantonerose[/re]: Don’t think I didn’t have trouble looking her boyfriend in the eye after that uncomfortable little episode. His dismount was not a graceful one, let me tell you.

ZombieRichardFeynman May 22, 2009 at 8:38 pm

[re=323628]slavojzizek[/re]: One of the biggest problems I have with “everything is controlled by the secret societies” types of books like that one is that it presumes an unlikely amount of non-blabbing by an awful lot of people. Also I don’t find “Vietnam-era intelligence officer” to lend any special cachet, being a vet of the Army Security Agency in Vietnam and Korea with a TSC/NoForn/Umbra/Ishtar/Cat 3 CommInt clearance back in the day myself. I sure never picked up a whiff of such conspiracies.

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 8:45 pm

[re=323676]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: Sanity tends to make us blind to delusions.

DC Hates Me May 22, 2009 at 10:05 pm

[re=323676]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: “I sure never picked up a whiff of such conspiracies.”

Maybe they smoked it after you left. But seriously, closet potheads are paranoid about everything. The whole libertarian movement reeks of paranoid conspiracy.

Custerwolf May 22, 2009 at 10:13 pm

[re=323709]DC Hates Me[/re]: Yeah. What is up with that????

hpwilliams May 22, 2009 at 10:33 pm

[re=323709]DC Hates Me[/re]: Who told you about me. They are really out to get me, I gotta quit talkin about it, I’m not paranoid I toke in the garage not in a closet. Just the words together “military intelligence” makes me cloths the drapes and turn out the lights. That group can find a reason to do what ever their asked to find a reason for. Always with an * based on best available intelligence.

Does the free market approach in Somalia work for incarceration? Best jails for the price, lets send the terrorists there and save a bunch of money, yaay free market

DC Hates Me May 22, 2009 at 11:43 pm

[re=323711]Custerwolf[/re]: Jews, gays and rich girly-men control the government, that’s why. They control the government by using secret handshakes, coded language, and secret meetings in Geneva to sip Swiss Miss from ornate silvery mugs.

And that’s why we must send teabags and dirty socks to our representatives in congress.

assistant/atlas May 23, 2009 at 12:09 am

The only really funny part of that video is the cholera bit. Still, I will watch a hot girl in a bikini do just about anything for 60 seconds or so. Thanks, Ken!

Custerwolf May 23, 2009 at 12:16 am

[re=323745]assistant/atlas[/re]: She does have a nice rack.

greywindz May 23, 2009 at 10:09 am

Isn’t she sexy!!!???

Paul Tardy May 23, 2009 at 5:03 pm

Caleefornia is collapsing under unpayable government salary and pensions schemes, and bad acting. Last I heard they were tear gassing teachers in LA, and the Latino “Varrio Hawaiian Gardens” gang is targeting random blacks. We shall see how long this “government” thing you are so fond of survives Bwah HAH AHH AHHH. BTW, why does the hot black chick always play opposite a schmendrick? You know like Hally Berry and Billy Bob what’s his name.

FormerDCite May 23, 2009 at 8:28 pm

Having been to Mogadishu, I can tell you that it is paradise. There is no sales tax, no income tax, no speed limits, no regulation on green house emissions, and no ambulance chasing lawyers. I recommend it to anyone who wants to get away from the oppression of the American Government. They also don’t have an active extradition treaty, so you can move there without paying your federal and state taxes, and nobody can get you. I think Rush, Glenn Beck, and Sean Hannity should take their hard earned money and move to K-7 today.

OzoneTom May 23, 2009 at 10:51 pm

So the pirates and Republicans really are kindred spirits?

Paul Tardy May 26, 2009 at 3:53 am

BTW Wonkette. First I see fried chicken riot stories. Now you are making fun of an African country. Is it that everyone is on memorial day vacation leaving behind a skeleton staff of neo whatevers? I wait impatiently for some Detroit crime stories, especially apocalyptic north of 8 mi stories.

groove May 26, 2009 at 12:17 pm

So, yeah, reminds me of the South Park episode where Cartman goes to Somalia to be a pirate because life in Colorado is so unfair.

Had my ass rolling.

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