Wonkette
Thanks Erick! August 1, hmm… ah, nevermind, that’s when our programs are on. But if any Wonkette readers would like to partake in RedState Rumspringa 2009, you can “show your commitment to attend by locking in” for a small price. [RedState]
SEXY PARTIES
Wonkette ‘Summer Garden Theatre Series’ Presents: RedState Orgy, Aug. 1
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3:56 PM
on Fri May 22 2009
By
Jim Newell
986 Views
This will not end well…
I’m imagining a pile of nude Ashley Todds dancing around carving ‘B’s into the chub of everyone’s back.
Don’t dogs “lock in” with that knot thingy?
“RedState Army Gathering.” That is awesome. What country are they planning on invading — they’re so deep in the closet I’d like to suggest bringing freedom to Narnia.
President Beeblebrox: Must be the code-word that there will be plenty of K9 action available for the knotting fans.
Every donor is entered in to a drawing for a fantasy dinner date with conservative blogostar, Kathryn Jean Lopez. Winner must sign a release form allowing Jonah Goldburg to hide in the closet, with a video camera, fapping to his shame.
These people are insatiable, I don’t understand. The phallus, say, can be thought to represent the body of a male as well as his masculine nature. How do balls represent this any better, and why stick them in…
I’m sure this will be like “Fleet Week” in that Gay Clubs in the area will be doing a lot more business than usual.
A day of “collaboration and conspiring”
Yes, it is a GOP event. Fortunately only few have the power of Cheney although all have meglomanical ambitions.
“Dear TRUCK–
I hope you can join us, TRUCK, for a delightful weekend of conservative activism at the RedState Gathering! TRUCK, you’ll spend a wonderful weekend sharing ideas (and more!) with like-minded people from all across the country. Doesn’t that sound terrific, TRUCK?”
Gotta love the mail merge. The only thing funnier would be if it was actually addressed to “DEAR MR. NUTZ”
The gay bars in Atlanta are going to be especially busy that weekend.
Hooray For Anything: Dammit. Too slow.
A day of whining about how everything is going to hell, the world economy is collapsing, etc., but each will note that “luckily, my husband is doing well, so this won’t affect us.”
$15 is pretty cheap for any anonymous public bathroom beej. Not Bob Allen cheap, but these Republicans pride themselves on fiscal conservatism.
I am not clever enough to make this up. Just wondering what was going in Atlanta on August 1, I see that is the date of the Atlanta Reptile and Exotic Animal Show: “Featuring reptile and amphibian breeders and wholesalers, reptile pet products and supplies, educational seminars and exhibits, and fun-filled activities for the entire family!”
You say “RedState Army Gathering” — I say “Repticon 09.”
I think we can expect a run on Schlitz and Old Crow in HOTlanta that weekend.
I might have to take a video camera to this.
Now remember, they are mostly looking for power tops, because Red State already has plenty of bottoms.
Has anybody told them how Soviet this sounds?
Conspiring to ‘use force to overthrow the government’ by any chance? As that is the definition of treason, punishable by death.
I think Erik meant to say that lard-assed conservative activists will gather for a day of mouthbreathing and perspiring. Dumbass .
queeraselvis v 2.0: I don’t know about that but I would be careful when entering the men’s room at the local Wal-Mart.
Man, with that low, low introductory registration fee of $15.00 (to “get a firm count on attendees”) the crowds at the Grand Hyatt Fuckhead will be out. Of. Control.
Bruno: I hope they’re honoring Marshal Petain, the Great Collaborator.
This sounds like fun. It’s like a convention of zombies from “Night of the Living Dead”, except with less introspection, less curiosity, and no demand for brains. Except also, Zombies don’t like the butt sects or hanging out in bathroom stalls looking for strange. Also
Sorry, but I’m washing my hair that day.
Also, I hear that Erich Mancow Muller has been disinvited, so who would stroke my python for me?
Why is it that Craig’s List had to get rid of their Erotic Postings, but RedState can do this?
This sounds a lot like my upcoming class reunion. Except my classmates are actually kinda fun. And not retarded assholes.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Not to mention Redtube, or conservative interwebs. It’s a double standard, but Cheney’s on board, so it’s OK
Jim: I am aware that Intern Juli is finishing her services to Wonkette. But could you please please please see if she could do us a solid, and attend this ‘confab’ in your stead? I would be oh so appreciative to see photos of these illustrious attendees.