The best thing to happen in all of Texas last year was when a few Democratic anarcho-syndicalists burned down Rick Perry’s governor’s mansion with a flaming bag of Barney Bush’s poop, maybe. But because the remaining outer shell of this hell castle is a Historical Texas outer shell — and Texas never cheaps out when it comes to honoring its proud history of slavery, violence, oil, and self-importance — the difficult, tedious renovation will cost TWENTY MILLION dollars. CONSIDERING THE COST, the Texas state legislature is now telling Perry that if he wants his dumb house, then $11 million of that sum will have to come out of the Obama Stimulus Package — the thing Perry pretended to hate so much that he vowed to secede over it in ~FY2011.
You know how many perfectly reasonable 3-BR/2.5-BA vinyl-with-a-brick-facade sadness pods could be built with $20 million? At least three!
AUSTIN, Texas – While Gov. Rick Perry is criticizing Washington bailouts, state lawmakers are planning to use $11 million in federal stimulus money to help rebuild the badly burned Texas Governor’s Mansion.
Approximately $10 million in state tax money will also be spent on a renovation, which is expected to cost about $20 million, officials said Thursday. A House-Senate committee agreed on the expenditures late Wednesday night.
The mansion was burned in an arson fire last summer. [...]
Perry spokeswoman Allison Castle released a short, written statement late Thursday when asked about using stimulus money to renovate the mansion.
“We are continuing to work with lawmakers on the budget,” she said.
Someone call Nate Silver, because a crime against Math appears to have taken place: $11 million in Obama money to cover the state’s $10 million liability? (Well, the $10 million is approximate and they want to play it safe in the budget, pretty standard practice.) SCANDAL!
Anyway, just want all of you communists in New Englannde and Iowa and everywhere else to know that 10 million of your federal tax dollars will go towards renovating terrible Rick Perry’s slave plantation in Texas.