When Rod Blagojevich lost his cush job as governor of Illinois, everybody wondered how he would ever be able to put food on his family again because he was qualified to perform zero useful functions outside of being America’s Clown. But then he got a book deal and people were all, “Oh hey nice six-figure book deal you got there, even if it’s chicken scratch compared to what you could have gotten in bribes if you’d stayed in office.” Now we “turn the page” on another “chapter” (GET IT???) of this exciting story.
The Illinois state Senate very vindictively voted to deny Blagojevich the right to get rich off his book, the same way that murderers cannot profit from their tell-all memoirs. But Blagojevich is just a petty dingus without any of the great crookery skills that criminals reading his book would want to know about anyway, so what’s the problem? Not to mention BILL OF ATTAINDER much??? So who knows, maybe he’ll get to keep his $$$ after all if somebody important decides that the legislation was a bunch of bunk.
Oh also Blagojevich’s wife is going to be on that reality show, Help I Am A Lady Married To That Guy With The Hair, Pls Rescue Me From This Pit Of Crocodiles, so if she is not eaten by an adder she can collect a paycheck and use THAT to feed the downtrodden Blagojevich clan.
Blago’s Boffo Book Bucks Blocked? [Gawker]Legislation won’t let Blagojevich cash in on book deal [Chicago Sun-Times]
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This problem is easily solved. He needs a family member/accomplice write a “What If I did it” book, like OJ. Then, let the brown paper bag royalties come in. I suspect the bags will be filled with coins however.
Not to mention the fact that I can’t even imagine one person stupid enough to buy that clown’s idiotic book. Who whould want to read that anyway?
“Put food on his family”? Poor bastard can’t even afford a dining table.
I’ve been led to believe the Ponzi Scheme business pays well. And Blago is a perfect front man. If we all donate $1000, he’ll guarantee us a 10% per annum royalty income.
[re=323042]swarm of bees[/re]: People read Dan Brown.
I thought it was going to be a hair care book.
That’s just making money off of his gift from his god, not profit from a crime………… well on further reflection any part of this asshat is criminal.
[re=323042]swarm of bees[/re]: It would be nothing but preening over his accomplishments (?) as Gov., protestations of innocence, and marginally-relevant poems. Also, I dunno, the story of how he and his hair lost their virginity.
You’d think he’d have enough crow to eat for a lifetime.
Hey Rod, btw, ‘bankruptcy’ is no longer PC – it’s now called disfigurement.
Not to mention BILL OF ATTAINDER much???
Way to work in his taint, SKS! Well played, ma’am. Bravo!
That is presuming that this crooked, rotten to the core, foul mouthed attention whore is guilty. All he has to do is make a jury believe that Patrick Fitzgerald is an unprincipled, self serving liar.
I wish corruption was punishable by being buried in the desert up to your neck.
[re=323047]magic titty[/re]: Win.
[re=323047]magic titty[/re]: +1. James Frey, also.
It’s the poetry readings I miss the most.
The Illinois legislature knows the Blago book would be a fucking golden thing and they’re not going to just fucking give it away. You gotta pay to play to write, Missus Blago!
[re=323047]magic titty[/re]:
Word.
Why yes, I BILL OF ATTAINDER all the time. Would you care to join the Washington Area Bill of Attainder Association? (WABAA) Our next meeting is about Cheney.
A book is a fucking valuable thing. You don’t just… – yata yata yata….
SO WHO IS THIS BILL ATTAINDER AND WHY DOES HE WANT OUR BELOVED GOVERNOR TO GO HUNGRY?
[re=323044]Joehoya[/re]: Ah campaign 2000, those innocent days. After putting food on his family, maybe Blago will make the pie higher.
As someone who lives in Illinois can I just say how FUCKING TIRED I AM OF THESE ASSHATS? Sorry. Lost it there for a minute.
Bills of attainder are only unconstitutional in regards to criminal punishment. If it was a civil penalty attached to his impeachment, thats fine.
I personally cannot wait for Gov. Blooeygooey’s book; in fact, I even bought new crayons.
[re=323047]magic titty[/re]: And J.K. Rowling. Also.
[re=323146]Mr Blifil[/re]: and [re=323047]magic titty[/re]: and [re=323042]swarm of bees[/re]: And Bill O’Reilly. And Ann Coulter.
[re=323047]magic titty[/re]: You had to mention that fucking hack. Mere mention of his name sends me in paroxysms of loathing and prompts profanity-filled rants.
I will resist for now because I’m in fucking mourning. I was hoping to get the deal to ghost-write this fucking abortion. I am uniquely fucking qualified for the gig since gratuitous and excessive use of profanity is my second fucking language. The only problem is, I don’t have a fucking first fucking language, although for this gig I don’t fucking see that being a fucking problem.
I understand his wife is writing the introduction: “Fuck you, you fuckin’ fuck!”
[re=323194]FMA[/re]: Make it a bio, with pix. Title it “FUCK!”
Zhu Bajie
A book is a very valuable focking thing, and if I want, I can parachute myself into chapter 3 page 15 where I shakedown the milkman for some extra Cremora, I mean, hey things can happen to the truck while you drop off at the door, if you knows what I means…
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