Wonkette
- Bill Gates — the real one, not the Defense Secretary — believes that technology can help heal our ailing economy. [Reuters]
- Ed Liddy, the government-appointed AIG head and dollar-a-year whipping boy of the House Financial Services Committee, has quit his job, and warns that finding an equally affordable “bottom” to replace him will be difficult. [Bloomberg]
- One of the accused Bronx synagogue bombers was a schizophrenic who kept bottles of urine in his apartment and left raw chicken on the stovetop. [New York Times]
- GM will enter bankruptcy proceedings as early as the end of next week. [Washington Post]
- In the future, Americans will be as nostalgic for malls as they now are for the neighborhood soda fountain, hot rods, and unprotected teen sex. [Wall Street Journal]
- A lot of good it does California, being so packed with Obamatards and sending so many high-profile Democrats to Congress, because they still can’t get a lousy government bailout. [Los Angeles Times]
Whoa - this is spooky, the similarities between me and the Bronx synagogue bombers. I keep bottles of wine in my apartment and keep raw chicken in the freezer!
I keep bottles of liquefied chicken in wine bottles and piss on the stove….or at least I did until we got electric burners.
I have a hard time taking advice from someone who put Windows Millennium on my computer.
OMG, I’m on the raw food diet and I have to pee all the time. No wonder I hear all that clicking on my telephone.
The economic surge I’m anticipating is the release of Windows 7, as the surge of people willing to kill kittens and do other dastardly deeds to get Vista off their computers should be enormous.
I keep live chickens in my house for Jews to pee on, in bottles, with California. Which shall have nothing and like it. If you can’t tax yourself properly why should the rest of us have to make up the difference? If Cali wants help they’ll bring us a cup of hot fat and the head of Grover Norquist on a plate.
I’m sorry Bill, but Windows 7 isn’t THAT good.
Guess which country now holds the Guinness Book’s record for longest ambulance….
http://www.governmentalityblog.com/my_weblog/2009/05/dubais-guinness-record-longest-ambulance.html
Jsab: Guess which poster should blow me?
The House is going to miss Ed Liddy. It’s going to be hard for them to find a highly skilled financial leader that looks good in suit AND a gimp hood.
hobospacejunkie: Stop making sense!
Sussemilch: Use the free one
http://www.slackware.com/
hobospacejunkie: It’d probably fit in a saucer
hobospacejunkie: Here here, well said, harumph, only George W. could have said it more succinctly.
Dead Malls. WE HAZ THEM.
Yeah, Liddy, I’m sure there aren’t any more Goldman Sachs execs left whom Hopey can threaten with criminal prosecution unless they go back to work for a dollar. There should be an endless fucking supply of them.
dijetlo: I piss on chicken, because I’m a terrorist. I freeze the liquid and sell it as “Genuine Chicken Stock” in order to infect Americans with salmonella. The only problem so far has been a failure by any Americans to understand the concept of stock. I haven’t sold any. The customers, they all complain: “Why is your chicken liquid?”; “Why isn’t it fried?” Imperialist swine!
If you live in Newburgh stockpiling urine and rotting (raw) chicken just plain makes good sense.
Also.
Having sex with unprotected latchkey teens is still awesome.
News Flash: Judith Warner pities Megan McCain. Self-regard reaches critical mass, triggers self-absorption squeeze and initiates blather chain reaction, resulting in the destruction of the world.
If all the malls go away, where will the Zombies congregate?
We’re not supposed to be having unprotected teen sex anymore?
Numbat Dundee: Perdue Farms is privately owned, but another chicken stock you could look into is YUM, which owns KFC.
magic titty: Nah, we can. Just not the teens.
OLD: What is good for GM is good for America.
NEW: What is Microsoft is good for America.
“The Young and the Snarky” - Judith, give me a break, you’re picking up our line here. Had you even consulted with Denby first?
B-Bye malls! And fuck you very much!
Bill Gates thinks that technology will heal the economize? Not a surprise considering the economize is a lot like a Microsoft product.
1) Wastes too much resources in overhead
2) Lax security and regulation
3) Constant need for patching aka government handouts/favors
4) Kacks at the slightest provocation
5) Thinks it’s more important than it really is
6) Crashes frequently
7) Reacts poorly to system changes
A neighbor said he didn’t think too much upon seeing urine bottles in the synagogue bomber’s fridge. However, he immediately became suspicious after the guy offered to bake him a kike.
A few years back, in the height of the SUV craze, I had an idea of getting chrome “ANAL” badges made in various sizes to placard onto the most notorious of the “Mall Terrain Vehicles”. I quickly discovered that it worked rather well on a wider spectrum of the Big Three makes.
Imagine the owners proudly rolling down the roads in their:
ANAL Explorer
ANAL Expedition
ANAL Escape
ANAL Ranger
ANAL Navigator
ANAL Mountaineer
Freestyle ANAL
ANAL Mustang
Suburban ANAL
ANAL Avalanche
ANAL Safari
ANAL Lacrosse
Aero ANAL
Malibu ANAL
ANAL Ram
ANAL Avenger
ANAL Magnum
ANAL Voyager
ANAL Town & Country
ANAL Nitro
You’ll never look at cars the same way again. You’re welcome.
Did Gates expound on how he feels about his company being crippled by the world’s cheapest ad campaign?
so does this mean I will be able to ctrl+alt+delete my bills all back to zero?
Inquiring minds want to know
Ha ha ha Bill Gates thinks technology will help our economy–yes, firing American technology workers and hiring Indians with H1 Visas to replace them will certainly help our economy. I haven’t even had a drink yet and I’m already feeling sick. The rabbit cartoons didn’t help either.
Bill, the equation is simple:
Technology:Windows :: Armaments:The Thresher
Servo: I’m afraid that says more about you than it does about these automobiles.
Custerwolf: The urine guy should get credit for being environmentally conscious. He was saving his urine for gardening, right?
RabidHamster: uhh….Sure.
Custerwolf: You sound doubtful. What, you don’t know anyone who stores their urine for use as fertilizer? As I am not a fan of the scent of urine on a warm summer’s morn I do not practice this myself, but I know several people who do. Then again, I spent the first 5 years of my life in a purple school bus, moving from campus to campus in California, so perhaps the people I know are a bit, um, different.
ALIVE!: Is that Abe Vigoda?
ManchuCandidate: Don’t forget #8- people who support alternative are considered snotty elitists for their desire to get superior service by spending more money.
Servo: Clarence Thomas has all those on DVD.
RabidHamster: I once heard that peeing around the perimeter of your garden would help keep the deer away. Of course being a girl, and a not-too-bright one at times, I always pictured that such a garden would look like it’d been toilet-papered by the high school basketball team.
RabidHamster: why on earth would anyone store it? my plants respond best to fresh warm urine.
Custerwolf: had a neighbor once who would shoot at anything that moved during deer season. i used to go and pee all around his tree stand when he was at work. much of the gun fire subsided.
engulfedinflames: I’ll have to remember that tactic - and I’ll be sure to pack out my used tissues.
Beau Radley:
Larry Craig and Mark Foley have offered to take in the young undead studs, so that should help.
Custerwolf: I once heard that peeing around the perimeter of your garden would help keep the deer away.
Works great if you happen to be a cougar or grizzly bear.
such a garden would look like it’d been toilet-papered by the high school basketball team.
Have you been hanging around in my yard? Five of six weeks ago, I happened to be building a garden fence at the peak of allergy season, and that is pretty much what my garden area looks like - little wads of TP everywhere. That stuff composts very quickly in our wet climate, however. It’s all almost as green as my grass, now.