Wonkette
Your Wonkette does not have much praise to bestow upon the collected letters & columns of Washington Post warbomber Charles Krauthammer, who loves torture more than Dick Cheney does and hates “fairness,” hmm, slightly less than Dick Cheney does? But even Krauthammer’s most virulent ad hominem insult hurlers, on the Internet, usually understand that there is a LINE, there is a LINE when writing about this guy. You should never bring up his, uhhhhhh… well… OH YOU KNOW… the thing. The unfortunate Krauthammer thing?? And *no,* we are not referring to his race (black), about which many jokes can and should be made.
Just read for yourself what Time Internet scribbler Joe Klein said in Ben Smith’s fancy new profile of Krauthammer:
“There’s something tragic about him, too,” Klein said, referring to Krauthammer’s confinement to a wheelchair, the result of a diving accident during his first year of medical school. “His work would have a lot more nuance if he were able to see the situations he’s writing about.”
GAHHHHHH!
Maybe that “came out wrong,” but no? C’mon JOE KLEIN. Charles Krauthammer isn’t blind, and the country is rather wheelchair accessible. Oof.
Barack Obama’s biggest critic: Charles Krauthammer [Politico]
Krauthammer is a douchebag, though, so I guess they’re even.
If he’s in a wheelchair, how can he have a Budweiser can up his ass?
JESUS!
How about “If he were able to RUN for office”, or “stand up and be counted”?
But is he like C4/5? I could tell if I could see his hands. Cause they would look like racoon paws.
Was that wrong? Should he NOT have done that?
That was wheelie inappropriate.
Dare I say, he could still use a whack upside the head.
“There’s something tragic about him, too,” Klein said, referring to Krauthammer’s confinement in a pea-sized brain crammed to the gills with endless spite and bile, the result of endless rounds of Republican initiations and hazing. “His work would have a lot more nuance if he were able to put aside the “Bomb Iran” thing for, oh, say, a few nanoseconds per day.”
He’s black, his last name is Krauthammer(?!), confined to a wheelchair, and he lives with a can of Budweiser up his ass. No wonder he’s for torture…
The fact that Krauthammer still has any credibility at all after the last eight years of smugly and languidly cheerleading for that disaster is beyond me.
I thought Klein was going to mention the hairlip…
Mein fuhrer!
Krauthammer just needs to roll with the punches.
He needs to take this stuff in stride.
On the up side, at least Krauthammer isn’t doling out medical advice.
Hey Klein — thanks, but we already have a vice president. Leave that stuff to the pros.
Krauthammer coined the term ‘Bush derangement syndrome’, mocking everyone with enough brain cells, (5), to see that President Ass Pants was a catastrophic liability to the country. I feel about as much sympathy for him as I feel for old man Potter.
Klein should have signed his column “Anonymous”.
wearing reading glasses around his neck, a black turtleneck and black jeans
Indeed, it’s very tragic that Charles Krauthammer is so sartorially impaired.
Oh, Joe, you do not mention the axles of evil in polite company.
old man Potter Ha! Reference to a classic movie (”It’s A Wonderful Life”) WIN!
Some people are assholes. Some are assholes in wheelchairs.
Internally valid: heh heh
oh man
“There’s something tragic about him, too,” Klein said, referring to Krauthammer’s confinement to a wheelchair, the result of a diving accident during his first year of medical school. “His inability to play a decent game of hacky-sack. The way he gets stuck going down escalators, or in revolving doors, where he just goes around and around helplessly until someone pushes him out. How he flails like a turtle if he gets rolled onto his back.”
This may well have been just a poor extrapolation by Ben Smith. There’s no quote from Klein specifically referring to … that which must not be mentioned … as the source of his moral myopia. It’s probably just a comment that Krauthammer’s vast rhetorical skill largely goes to waste because of his aversion to empathy and critical thinking.
Or maybe I’m just jaded since I know someone who has expressed an interest in seeing the Hammer of the Krauts dumped in the middle of Hue, sans wheelchair, during the Tet Offensive.
Um, wow.
I had no idea bile-filled jackass was wheelchair bound. But, uh, yeah Joe, have you lost your mind? It’s not the wheelchair, it’s the blithering stupidity and hatred.
Dude. I’m talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT… Also, Dude, Wheelchairman is not the preferred nomenclature. “Locomotive-American”, please.
I just feel like Joe wasn’t even really trying. Like Oops! Look what my keyboard spelled out when I wasn’t even looking at it. HOW DID THAT GET THERE?
Look, all Klein’s saying is that Krauthammer is a stupid fucking
cripple.
I strongly suspect that Kraphammer would be just as douchey on two legs as he is on two wheels.
“Locomotive-American”: win.
Funny, I had no idea that Krauthammer was an afro-locomotive-American. And didn’t care. Still don’t. It’s not his physical condition that matter to me. It’s that his ideas are idiotic and wrong in every way possible ever. Also.
rambone: Oh, he still does that, too. Haven’t you ever watched “Agronsky and Company,” or whatever it’s called? He’s a disgrace to several professions at the same time.
snideinplainsight:
Oh my god, the win is omnipresent.
freakishlystrong: All that dancing around Jimmy did at the top of the post, I thought it was going to be about Krautie’s mental retardation.
But cripple jokes are actually funnier, so hey.
Been seeing Krauthammer on Inside Washington for years and did not know he was in a wheelchair. Always thought he sat there leaning to the side because he was half-assed.
randomsausage: “Mein fuhrer!” He will be “rolling” into Poland any day now.
Fuck that Cock House!!
Coulter, on the other hand, only gets stuck in revolving doors if you put a spear through her head first.
Thank you thank you, I’ll be here all week! Please tip your Wonkette!
snideinplainsight: My Lord. My fucking Lord.
WIN.
to bad he survied the diving accident, the fucking retard
It’s not a leap to assume his anger at almost everything is enhanced by his disability. The fact that he was trained as a psychiatrist is even more perplexing.
Oh, hell. I always said that Krauthammer doesn’t have a leg to stand on.
Actually, I thought this was Klein’s snidest remark: “He became ground zero among the neo-cons, but he’s vastly smarter than most of them.”
Klein went on to add, “Yeah, his IQ must be like, what, twice that of Wolfowitz.”
All this talk of his wheelchair is inappropriate and draws attention away from the fact that Krauthammer’s face looks a cheap rubber Halloween mask.
OK, you fuckers. THIS is why I shouldn’t read Wonkette at work. Can’t…stop…laughing…
snideinplainsight: You are ON FIRE today. Have you been playing lighter tag with Lascauxcaveman?
Calls himself a neo-con? If he was a real fuckin’ Spartan he’d throw himself of Mount Taygetos. Pussy.
Joe Klein wrote for Rolling Stone, so we know he wasn’t a real hippie; Krauthammer worked for Jimmy Carter and Walter Mondale, so we know he hasn’t been a lifelong wingnut. Klein was a liberal when he wrote a pretty good Woody Guthrie biography and a column for The New Yorker, and now he does wingnut writing for Time; Chuckie changed his Primary Colors in similar cuttlefish fashion. They understand one another, as any two highly paid hookers would. They’re not there to set an example; they know whose name is on the check, and they know how to please. A Proust or Flaubert would recognize them instantly.
Before this, my favorite KrASShammer moment was when he said feminist hates Palin because she made the moral decision to have Baby Trig, and the ugly feminists, if they could even get knocked up in the first place, would not have done that. And nobody else on the panel said WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU CRIPPLE?
Ah, yes. Summer means the good ol’ Budweiser Chicken Sybian.
I feel sorry for Krauthammer being confined to a wheelchair, where he cannot do anything or go anywhere. Same thing happened to Franklin Roosevelt, who only managed to get elected president four times. Krauthammer’s liability is not physical, it’s mental. Tragic? Nope.
snideinplainsight: I strongly concur with the win!
Joe Klein once offered me a cigarette while I wheezed away in my iron lung. This latest outrage does not surprise me.
Lascauxcaveman: Ok, a retard a hairlip and cripple roll into a bar…
So, wait, does this mean that Dr. Strangelove comparisons are out of bounds?
so is klein saying that wheelchairs cause stupidity?
Kleins next article, “Bob Novak’s Silence Speaks Volumes”?
Now I want to have a Wheelchair Death Match between Krauthammer and Stephen Hawking. Or Simi Linton.
Note: I did not know until now that Krauthammer used a wheelchair. I don’t know if that means that the teevee has taken lots of trouble to be discreet in filming him, or if it’s just that I can hardly see the man through the film of rage and vomit his idiot words invariably induce.
Like some, I didn’t know KrASShammer was a gimp, but that doesn’t give him a free pass to be the biggest asshat and damn proud of it on the planet.
The answer is in German, my friends. Klein means small in german, whereas Krauthammer means “German smasher.” Klein merely fears for his life at the murderous wheels of Charles Kleinsmasher!!!! Er summat…
I think I understand what Klein is trying to say. I for instance have a huge rack and that’s why I am a left of center Democrat. If I could just leave the house with out the constant stares and comments I could see why torture is so necessary and why fetuses should all become human beings.We are all shaped by our circumstances. Thankfully I am only allowed to write here at Wonkette until I get banned.Klein is a boring bag of dicks always.What the fuck is his excuse for himself?
Being confined to a wheelchair all day must cause the crap to come out of his mouth.
Makes sense.
Thank God Krauthammer gave up psychiatry for punditry. He has all the warmth and empathy of Dick Cheney on wheels.
I was suprised to learning that Mr. Krauthammer was paralyzed. This lead to me review is wiki entry and that lead to an even greater surprise. He is a medical doctor. So that makes him a doctor..that supports torture. Ugh.
102415: Wonkette readers are thoughtful and discerning. We won’t believe your sad story of prejudice without photographic proof. Full frontal and side shots. Also.
Global Cannibal: I agree– Klein could have been mentioning Krauthammer’s successful attempt into becoming the world’s first human cyborg due to his lifelong dream of fathering an entire race of Cylons.
Dr. Mengele?
They can either have Krauthammer or they can have Tucker Carlson. Two ideologically identical, condescending asshats who say the exact same thing is way too many in this time of media cutbacks.
Or maybe they should keep 1/2 of each one. That works for me. Also.
Egregious: So he’s a low rent knock-off of “House”?
So who remembers Raymond Burr as Ironside? Anybody? Nobody? He like, carried a gun and stuff. Cool big old wheelchair truck too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaHDut6z8yg
The Krautster needs a gun, an old police riot wagon and a hip Afro driver, thats all.
So in other words the main prerequisite for advancing up the ladder of Wingnut Intelligencia is not being able to feel your dick? And yes Malkin and Coulter count.
Mr Blifil:
I’m pretty certain Malkin and Coulter can still fill their dicks, I’ve noticed them “checking their package” from time to time during speaking engagements.
“Feel their dicks”
Also
You must all realize, of course, that Klein has once and for all pulled Krauthammer’s teeth. From now on, anyone who has read this article (and let’s face it: the only people who read the article are people who knew who Chuck was to begin with) will read Krauthammer’s work and think, “Poor, bitter man–too bad he’s in a wheelchair.”
What better way to hobble your opponent than to cut his legs from under him? Klein is the Sun-Tzu of journalistic debate!
That Joe Klein has not been bounced out the journalism profession–or beaten senseless by fellow journalists–for his repeated violations of truth, decency and anything approaching competent analysis is a big reason why I hope all newspapers and magazines fail.
That said, Krauthammer still deserves it. After all, he’s a disabled doctor who thinks it’s okay to torture the crap out of people to the point where they, too, get physical disabilities. So sit and spin bitch.
Oh–and good call predicting Obama would never win. Seriously, THIS guy is the smartest neocon? No wonder nothing they do works, ever.
IceCreamEmpress: Don’t forget Larry Flynt in his Hustlermobile.
Where’s Richard Widmark when you need him?
crapistani:Nobody ever gets tired of boob pictures around here.I’m so heartened by that but no photos can be released. It would only encourage the America haters. Trucknutz.
Let me see if I’ve got this. Krauthammer is really Captain Christopher Pike and Klein just wants to get him back to Talos 4 where he can kiss beautiful girls again? Interesting.
Wait, what? He’s BLACK????? Charles Krauthammer–black man?
Seriously? I’m more dark-skinned than that guy and I’m blond…so I guess we should be thankful Joe Klein didn’t call him an octoroon.
“But, ya ahh, Chuck, but ya ahh.”
Actually and in point of fact, Krauthammer’s a Dalek.
Get him to say “exterminate…exterminate” some time and you’ll see.
But the image of him as a chicken with a beer can up his ass is pure genius.
Aloysius: Maybe, maybe not. The nutty 21% will say “He’s in a wheelchair and a doctor!You don’t hear him howling for stem cell research or complaining about torture.”
My German is not very good, but doesn’t “Krauthammer” mean “cabbage beater”?
If that was my name and I was a hopeless cripple, I’d be bitter too, though I’d probably be cheered up if someone stuck an occasional beer can between my enfeebled cheeks.
Krauthammer should just come back with one of those strap on robo-exoskelatons, crush a few bortion factories, dispatch Bin-Laden with his optional flame thrower, and demonstrate a few other differently abled feats of strength.
There’s one thing I know:
DON’T FUCK WITH THE TRANSFORMERS!
re=321401]LittlePig[/re]: That’s not Krauthammer’s “Third Rail.” It’s his “Kiss of Death.” HEY-OHHHHHHHHHHHH…![
Beer butt Krauthammer.
assistant/atlas: “…So sit and spin bitch…”
Atlas, here I thought your funny was limited to Meghan McCain threads. Thanks for that hearty laugh.
Know anyone who would trade there life for Joe Klein’s life?
Hell No! Klein got one of the ugliest faces alive, no one would trade faces with that. Double Hell No! No one on this site would give up there brain to have Joe Klein’s brain. Just look at his body of work and tell me you prefer his brain over your own.
Now that we have the technology to do a face transplant one could change the face but you would be stuck with his brain.
IT IS WITH A KRAUTHAMMER THAT I FORGED MY RINGS OF POWER!!!
“Charles is not a hater, but he can be an intense disliker,” he said.
Such high praise.
Joek line.
Krauthammer can’t help being an asswipe. That’s how he rolls.
We have nothing to fear but FEAR ITSELF!!!
Fear and, you know, staircases.
Staircases, soccer, dancing, and fear. Then we’re home free.
Yes, being wheelchair-bound was also what made FDR such a hard-line, right-wing, no-empathy nutcase.
It’s perfectly fair because Krauthammer demands that all Americans take diving lessons from him. Also, he’s a psychiatrist who’s clinically insane — so all bets are off.
At least when the posse finds Krauthammer’s abandoned chair out in the sagebrush one of them can say, “Don’t worry, he won’t get far on foot.”
And when John Callahan sues me for plagiarism I can say . . . I dunno . . . “Wheel men don’t sue for plagiarism”?
Okay, to be fair to the hateful, deranged Krauthammer: sitting in his wheelchair, he’s still taller than Joe Klein.
x111e7thst: OMG!!! You are a horrible, horrible person. And you make me laugh.
“His [cabbage-masher’s) work would have a lot more nuance if he:
1. Hadn’t been raised among Canadastanis..
2. Didn’t have French parents. (Actually, his mother was Belgian, but what’s the fuck?) .
3. Was actually a real doctor.
4. Wasn’t one of Reagan’s policy butt boys.
5. Stopped stealing Boehner’s spray tan.
6. Worshipped the one true god Baby Jesus Christ our Savior instead of a motzah image of that hebrew Moses.
7. Were taller.
Dog Trombone: Dog Trombone:My best friend the psychoQuad says it’s ok for me to make fun of the Krauthammer’s paws. Tho I would anyway.
Dorje Chenpo: Seriously? I thought he was a dentist. That makes so much more sense.
I’m bitter without being confined to a wheelchair. If I was, I would surely be a “bitch on wheels”!
Scandalabra: “confined”? I don’t know about that. I’ll bet he could slither across the floor if he just weren’t so lazy.
Scandalabra: Crip on wheels.
Famous psychiatrists:
1. Doctor Hugo Strange.
2. Hannibal Lecter.
3. Doctor Moriarity.
4. Radovan Karadžic, Serb premier; UN prisoner. On trial for some technicality concerning the Geneva Convention.
5. Charles KrautScheiss.
The tradition is long, the tradition is deep.
anthrax intimidation
neocon 911 fairy tale
bush rove cheney rummy
extortion blackmail bribery
federal reserve is not federal
israel-first dual-national aipac
Gravel Kucinich Paul Nader
McKinney Ventura too
perotcharts.com
RAGE