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JUSTICE DELAYED

Palin Cleared Of Wrongdoing In Expensive-Clothes Scandal That Rocked Nation

Probably hasn't even taken this to the dry cleaner yetSarah Palin’s long sartorial nightmare is over, as the Federal Election Commission finally decided that the bazillions of dollars spent on her pacifiers, Italian couture jackets, and Victoria’s Secret lingerie were legal. Palin’s clothes did not constitute “personal use of campaign funds” because the funds in question came from the RNC instead of the McCain/Palin campaign.

Still: Sarah Palin should be arrested and immediately sent to Guantanamo for the grievous crime of undergirding her fancy Valentino jackets with cheap, mass-produced mall undergarments from a store whose decor literally resembles the interior of a vagina.

The watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington was not very happy with the FEC’s ruling.

“In effect, the FEC is claiming its hands are tied and it could not penalize the RNC or Gov. Palin,” CREW said in a release. “This means the FEC will allow political parties to buy candidates whatever they want at whatever cost, and that the candidates and their families can keep these purchases.”

FREE MONEY Y’ALLS. The sad thing is you can kind of imagine John McCain pitching the Vice Presidency to Sarah Palin just like this: “I would like you to be my running mate, and in return you’ll get shiny shiny shoes.” And she did!

FEC: Spending spree to dress Palin was legal [The Hill]


9:19 AM on Wed May 20 2009
By Sara K. Smith
3259 Views

  1. So Pantygate is at an end? Good.

  2. rereridiculous says at 9:27 am, May 20th, 2009

    TGY: I’m completely behind your pun, no matter how unintentional.

  3. Hannibal_Lecter_MD says at 9:28 am, May 20th, 2009

    Finally, I can sleep well at night. I was so worried about the outcome of this investigation led by none other than agent Clarice.

  4. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 9:28 am, May 20th, 2009

    Now now, SKS. You know good and well that those Victoria’s Secret panties have the life expectancy of the batteries in Meghan McCain’s dildo, so SP has long since jettisoned those in favor of the Spanx she picked up at the Wasilla Dollar Tree.

  5. ManchuCandidate says at 9:29 am, May 20th, 2009

    Oh well. No matter what any commission or court says, it won’t make her less stupid.

  6. hobospacejunkie says at 9:30 am, May 20th, 2009

    The FEC punishes election rule violations like the Spanish soccer federation punishes La Liga teams for the racism of their supporters: i.e., they don’t.

  7. Country Club Jihadi says at 9:30 am, May 20th, 2009

    Thank God Piper can finally rock the Louis V again. I bet Bristol already stole it from her anyway.

  8. Bypartizoa says at 9:36 am, May 20th, 2009

    Looks like the Palins are headed to the mall! (Cue banjo music)

  9. norbizness says at 9:39 am, May 20th, 2009

    It’s back to bargain bin-diving at the Juneau Ross: Dress For Less outlet store.

  10. x111e7thst says at 9:40 am, May 20th, 2009

    What about RNC purchased S&M sex toys? What if those S&M toys are made in Pakistan by Muslins?
    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/28/world/asia/28fetish.html?_r=2&scp=5&sq=adam%20ellick&st=cse

  11. magic titty says at 9:41 am, May 20th, 2009

    Haha. As if she knows what sartorial means.

  12. Texan Bulldoggette says at 9:44 am, May 20th, 2009

    Meh, I could care less about this. Let me know when Todd’s dick visits a hooker’s vag/mouth or Snowbilly’s STD-ridden medical records finally get published.

  13. Texan Bulldoggette says at 9:49 am, May 20th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: oops meant “when Todd’s dick visits a tranny hooker’s vag/mouth”

    There…fixed.

  14. Mr Blifil says at 9:50 am, May 20th, 2009

    When will the FAA pardon her for flying while in labor?

  15. DC Hates Me says at 9:53 am, May 20th, 2009

    I think McCain’s pitch was more on the lines of: Get dressed, whore, we’re done.

  16. AllHat says at 9:54 am, May 20th, 2009

    Not over. Nobody’s apologized to Rush yet.

  17. Hart88 says at 9:55 am, May 20th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: hey, leave Greta out of this

  18. Big Liver says at 9:57 am, May 20th, 2009

    Holy Shit, how on Earth do you people getting tapped to display those SarahPAC ads? Are they actually giving you money for that?

  19. Big Liver says at 10:00 am, May 20th, 2009

    Okay, I get it; Google Ads automatically sees a blog entry about Sarah Palin and assigns an ad to go with it? It’s done by a computer program? So, why not run several more Sarah Palin stories every day? Support Wonkette off SarahPAC, huh?

  20. x111e7thst says at 10:02 am, May 20th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: I knew the had meth in Wasilla, but tranny hookers too?
    I’m so there.

  21. norbizness says at 10:02 am, May 20th, 2009

    Big Liver: The AI for Google Ads doesn’t differentiate between sites that love her and discuss her constantly with those that loathe her (and discuss her constantly).

  22. Kinkster says at 10:04 am, May 20th, 2009

    Big Liver: I just click on every SarahPAC ad that i see and then never donate.

  23. txjammer says at 10:11 am, May 20th, 2009

    AllHat: Don’t you mean: Not over. Nobody’s apologized to Rush yet. Also.

  24. joezoo says at 10:16 am, May 20th, 2009

    Hallelujah! Now she can finally stop hiding and wear those “JUICY” sweatpants Greta’s husband bought her.

  25. snideinplainsight says at 10:19 am, May 20th, 2009

    Which store does she really shop at? “All of them, any of them, all of the many of them that have in front of me over all these years [...] (inaudible) you, Katie [...] I have a vast variety of sources where we get our shoes.”

  26. I think it’s worth the expense to see her taste in clothes…clown outfits with coaster-sized buttons. It certainly helps underline the conclusive evidence that her neurons are heavily attenuated.

  27. germansteel says at 10:24 am, May 20th, 2009

    The FEC saying it wasn’t illegal doesn’t mean she and her dope-hubby aren’t still a couple of ill-bred, undereducated, hillbilly grifters, unless they ruled on that, too, does it?

    Show me where they refuted that.

  28. freakishlystrong says at 10:25 am, May 20th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: Er..either way, WIN…

  29. snoidoid says at 10:33 am, May 20th, 2009

    [QUOTE]“a store whose decor literally resembles the interior of a vagina”{\QUOTE]

    Is this true? I’m a-goin’ to the mall!

  30. proudgrampa says at 10:45 am, May 20th, 2009

    Kinkster: Too funny!!

  31. sarcasticusername says at 10:55 am, May 20th, 2009

    so as long as it’s the RNC and not the Palin 2012 campaign that buys her that vacation home next time around, it’s all good? oh she’s definitely running then.

  32. hpwilliams says at 11:20 am, May 20th, 2009

    Well I hope the RNC learned a valuable lesson

    You can dress a snowbilly family up but you can’t put them in the White House.

    also

  33. Andy Bernard says at 11:51 am, May 20th, 2009

    This means the Palin moat cleaning was also a legal expense, and too also Todd’s hotel porn.

  34. TeddyS says at 12:06 pm, May 20th, 2009

    The FEC is in the tank for Palin.

  35. 102415 says at 1:08 pm, May 20th, 2009

    So are they going to retrieve those black garbage bags of dirty out of style clothes now? She can sell them on Ebay for more than they cost and get some more tatoos.

  36. Georgia Burning says at 2:04 pm, May 20th, 2009

    Sarah Palin needs to be the right wings’s Rev. Ike. Go on TV, raise cash from people who have little to spare and flaunt it in front of whitey, err lefty. This will mean turning an old Circuit City in Orange County to a “Center for American Ideals” with a 1200 square foot walk-in closet and an outlet store.

  37. bitchincamaro says at 2:52 pm, May 20th, 2009

    “…a store whose decor literally resembles the interior of a vagina.”

    Address, please.

  38. assistant/atlas says at 4:01 pm, May 20th, 2009

    snoidoid: I went there once (with my girlfriend so it wasn’t too weird)….it’s not as sexy as it sounds. In fact, I would liken it not to a vagina, but to the interior of a Pepto-Bismol bottle as interpreted by Bobby Trendy.

  39. Bruno says at 6:39 pm, May 23rd, 2009

    102415: All those clothes are basically in Steele’s basement now. Being stripped of funds, this may be the only way he can pay for his expense account. Or, Coleman’s legal bill

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