oh golly

GOP In Trouble BUT ONLY Among *Human* Voters

Well here’s some good news for Republicans: they’ve finally rid the party of all non-Real Americans! ES UN ROAD TO RECOVERY? And besides, just look at how liberal this liberal poll is. Aside from “Nonwhite” — wtf, like Martians or something?? — it doesn’t even show the trend with Hispanic Mexicans! Surely the GOP has made huge gains in this demographic, hmm? [Balloon Juice]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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57 comments

  1. Red Zeppelin

    Yeah, and if they took off the votecs and the Cousin Goober’s Bible Colleges, the college graduate numbers would be approaching zero.

  2. magic titty

    Yes but how are they doing amongst deceased bitterz with defunct Guns & Ammo subscriptions and ancestral ties to the Klan???

  3. SayItWithWookies

    So among people older than 64, not making money and attending church weekly, they’re rock solid. This should certainly appeal to the kids.

  4. Tra

    The whole “We’re done apologizing to all of you!” thing from earlier today, is starting to make more sense now, in a bad relationship breakup kind of way. Next up, drunken texts to all former Republican voters at 3 a.m.

  5. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    This study totally disses the fursuiter voting bloc, the new base of the GOP.

  6. Texan Bulldoggette

    Wait until they find out a black guy is in charge of the RNC. I expect the “Black” category to skyrocket to … 11??

  7. Gopherit

    I am shocked, SHOCKED I TELL YOU, that only half of republicans go to church regularly. The Fundies will fix that when they take over Atwood style.

  8. WadISay

    [re=320444]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: The figures for the “Black” category are actual numbers of persons, not percentages.

  9. Mr Blifil

    I see GOP polls are not great at the mathz. A drop of 12% to 10% is a hell of a lot more significant than a drop from 43% to 40%. This list is simply fucked. Unless the poll sampled exactly 100 people each year. Then I can see how the numbers really help get the bigger picture.

  10. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=320430]ChernobylSoup[/re]: [re=320438]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yup. This is what the GOP call the “Get Off My Lawn” demographic.

  11. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=320456]WadISay[/re]: Hee Hee. Everyone on Fox was all ‘blacks are reverse prejudiced because they are only voting for Barry because he’s a fellow black.’ Looks like this little misconception got cleared right up. Barry snagged up the rest of the blacks who weren’t Alan Keyes-like crazy.

  12. SnarkNotFark

    By this math, with non-Church attending at -9, weekly/monthly church at -6 and weekly church at 0, all the GOP needs to do is create and popularize a religion where people attend Church 3 or more times a week and they’re back in the saddle, baby. If a moderately successful science fiction writer of limited talent could do it, how hard could it be? Maybe rig some E-meters that zap the gay out of you. Come on, GOP, use your brainz.
    [re=320425]space stout[/re]: Dammit, beat me to it.

  13. EdFlinstone

    Everyone knows 65 year old white southern males attending church weekly are the fastest growing segment of the population.

  14. germansteel

    Intuits are marginalized and ignored, again. How can they do that the same year as Sarah Palin reared her head? HENNNNNGHH?

  15. Lascauxcaveman

    I was trying to tell them Republican strategists, oh, way in 2003 or 04 it was, “You’ve got to get mandatory weekly church attendance written into LAW, it’s the key to the 1,000-year reich majority y’alls are after… Put it right there, in that Patriot Act thingee, idiots in congress will vote any old shit you stuff in there.”

  16. Bruno

    It looks like its been said already, but if I attend church somewhat less than weekly I have a brain…but at a higher frequency I’m in the GOP??

    Very interesting.

  17. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=320483]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: SRSLY IF THEY USED THEIR POLITICAL CAPITAL BACK THEN TO KILL OFF ALL DIM MUSLIMS AND JEWS, GYPSIES AND BROWN HAIRED PEOPLE WE WOULD BE FINE.

    Another missed opportunity for the GOP.

  18. CorkPopper

    But who are the 9% of people of “liberal ideology” who STILL identify as Republicans? Logical thinking FAIL.

  19. Internally valid

    9% of people who claim a liberal ideology also claim to be republicans.

    So only 9% of people claiming to be liberal are functionally retarded; suck on that, Limbaugh!

  20. Mustang

    Nose pickers +45
    Flatlanders +30
    Butt diggers +20
    Getting to watch the downfall of the GOP – Priceless

  21. Internally valid

    [re=320499]EdFlinstone[/re]: [re=320502]CorkPopper[/re]: Double-threeway-jinx! Sexy!

  22. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    As Karl Rove said:

    White men! White women! The flag is calling you. The sacred and ancient symbol of your race, since the beginning of time. The Jew is using The Black as muscle against you. And you are left there helpless. Well, what are you going to do about it, Whitey? Just sit there? Of course not! You are going to join with us. The members of the American, Old, Church-Going, White Peoples’ Party. An organisation of decent, law abiding white folk. Just like you!

  23. hobospacejunkie

    Republicans aren’t afraid of no silly polls like this. If they can only gum up the gubmint works for two years, force the economy off the cliff, create the largest number of poors ever, deny health insurance to everyone and continue to purge the party of fake conservatives they will storm back to large majorities in the House and Senate. It’s a no-lose proposition, according to Rush. And he’s never wrong. Just ask him.

  24. the problem child

    Oh, it’s okay. This survey only covers the ‘leaned Republicans”. Among the fatted, they are doing fine, percentage wise… although alot of that fat seems to be melting away.

  25. peorgietirebiter

    To be fair, the last raid on Smithfield Meats could account for the one point drop in the non-white category.

  26. sarcasticusername

    no worries, soon michael steele and ronald reagan’s futuristic ghost will save us all and make everyone republican; at least i think that’s what he said earlier.

  27. peorgietirebiter

    [re=320503]Internally valid[/re]: Hey wait a minute, a liberal could identify Republican without going full ‘tard! I do it on occasion for the same reason I freely pass around my Kroger rewards card.
    Let the bastards model based on a white, single male, over 50 who buys Nicorette, a carton of Camels, tampons, ensure, tomatillos, powdered milk and fills a script for Antibuse on the same day.

  28. pat robertsons personal trainer

    I’m happy for the next ten years–but just wait until all the Palin, Santorum, & Bachmann kids* can vote. They’re going to outbreed the booksmartin’, non-”abstaining” set of arugala eaters.

    *Palin’s “kids” under 14 may or may not all be her grandchildren.
    Santorum’s “kids” include the 6 he and his beard have raised plus the dozens he adopted, i.e. he legally adopted all viable sperm of Lindsay Graham, Ann Coulter, Saxsby Chambliss, Mitch McConnell & Jeff Gannon.
    Bachmann’s kids count if she ever received payment from the state of Minnesota for locking them in the basement and/or forcing them to sew ladies’ plus size fashions for sale in the greater Twin Cities area.

  29. hobospacejunkie

    [re=320531]peorgietirebiter[/re]: Antabuse, damn, that’s some serious shit. I thought I was all badass with buprenorphine but you gotta be a serious motherfuckin’ drinker to earn Antabuse. I salute you, peorgietirebiter, or whichever friend of yours needs the script.

  30. Accordion-o-rama

    [re=320478]EdFlinstone[/re]: Well, they’re the fastest growing segment of the RNC…

  31. EdFlinstone

    Personally I dont think this poll was fair because the republican base doesnt get phone service in their bunkers..

  32. SaveTheBirds:

    Maybe it’s not nice to take pleasure in the spectacular implosion of the GOP, but it fills me with glee!

    People who say “i told you so” and “that’s what you get” and “I knew that was gonna happen” are generally assholes. So, I’ll cop to it up front:

    I’m a self-satisfied, Liberal snob who’s FINALLY got some vindication…and I intend to milk it for all that it’s worth.

  33. problemwithcaring

    [re=320617]EdFlinstone[/re]: I don’t think it’s fair, because they obviously shouldn’t include the figures for non-whites, who we all know have secret muslin biases.

  34. the problem child

    [re=320638]problemwithcaring[/re]: If you cut a muslin on the bias, does it bleed?

  35. Crazyfortheblue

    Darn those iconvenient truths, which apparently Gallup also likes to ignore… from their own company: http://www.gallup.com/poll/15370/Party-Affiliation.aspx.

    ya’ll continue to make me chuckle. I consider you my wacked out liberal friends. Ya’ll are like 9/11 truthers. You’re strange, idiotic, and clearly driven by facts from a different dimension or you’re all just oddly paranoid. I think it’s paranoid. But clearly facts and your opinions never seems to quick mesh. But keep trying. Ya’ll are at least amusing to read.

  36. Unlearned Hand

    Clearly biased. Look at all the missing categories:

    1) Talk radio hosts
    2) Neo-Nazis
    3) People receiving inpatient treatment for psychiatric conditions
    4) Long-haul truckers
    5) Serial killers
    6) Zombies
    7) People who’ve been up in Bristol Palin’s bizness

  37. engulfedinflames

    [re=320880]Crazyfortheblue[/re]: when these asshats came to power in 2000 and people i know and love were depressed about it i told them “give them enough rope they”ll hang themselves”, i meant it figuratively. i then watched as they figuratively hung themselves over and over and over again. now it looks as though there’s a chance they will literally hang. it appears from your comment that you support these criminals, you should be ashamed.

Comments are closed.