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| The Colbert Report | Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Meghan McCain | ||||
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Meghan! She told Stephen Colbert last night that there should be room for “24-year-old pro-sex women” in the Republican Party. Who said there wasn’t? They are all married with nine kids, is the thing. Come to think of it, shouldn’t Meghan McCain have babies by her age? [The Week]
3:45 PM
on Tue May 19 2009
By
Jim Newell
2446 Views
Wonkette
You saw it here first:
Meghan McCain speaks, with words, kinda.
Megs has that glow–I guess she’s bangin’s someone on a reg. basis. Must’ve found the only straight Republican guy in Manhattan.
Here is the depth of her analysis: Why am I Republican? Why, Daddy is, of course.
Otherwise, she doesn’t agree with them on anything.
“Come to think of it, shouldn’t Meghan McCain have babies by her age?”
She clearly lacks the class of a Bristol Palin.
“24-year-old pro-sex women” might want to join the GOP, but the 55 year old closeted males that run the GOP don’t want no part of that.
Did she mean “sex pro”?
Of course there’s room for “24-year-old pro-sex women” in the Republican Party. If by “Republican Party” you mean MY PANTS! HEY-YO!
Sorry
Does it go beyond the embarrassing Lenoesque, “I’m so cute and innocent and have done nothing to earn my place as a guest on any talkshow whatsoever, and I’m here to talk about sex and sexiness because I obviously haven’t been laid yet because if I had then I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to a roomful of monkeys making such a goddamned big deal about getting my pussy broke in with something other than an extra large tampon, instead I would be hounding the one dude who was tenacious enough to break through my incredible self-absorption long enough to pop my cherry, but then who hasn’t call me since even though I’ve texted him and twitter him ten thousand times and - oh and did I mention I’m a republican who likes sex? I’m the only one amongst the frigid females of the R populace. Just me, just waiting…..”
The Republican Party is AWESOME!
-Meghan McCain 05/09
A reason to join.
Red Zeppelin: ‘Fraid not. She probably just found some higher quality porn and a dildo that didn’t blow a fuse every time she switched it on.
I’ll bet she takes it on the face.
Custerwolf: To be fair, if you threw a muzzle on that, I’d hit it.
She thinks sex should be fun for the woman? That fact alone will incur Rush’s wrath. He’s never known a woman to enjoy sex. With him. Even though he has an enormous pannus.
She belongs right here in downtown D.C. She IS the entirety of (non-minority, non-scholarship) female population at GW, Georgetown.
shortsshortsshorts: I agree. She’s a very beautiful girl - but goddamn - how many twinkies would she have to back away from to become a svelte knockout? Then she’d be beating off the guys, instead of making the guys beat off each other. Not that she owes that to anyone, but fuck - lazy girl won’t even jump on a treadmill in order to lose that 15 lbs of lipid-formed chastity belt. Self-indulgence is written all over her face and spilling out her mouth.
Doesn’t sound any different than most 24-year olds I’ve heard lately, other than party identification. Self-absorbtion, FTW!
Internally valid: dont be sorry. The Republican Tent definitely got Bigger last night,if by Republican Tent, … my pants!!! Actually I disrobed as soon as I heard she was on.
RoscoePColtraine: Slight correction…
That fact alone will incur Rush’s wrath. He’s never known a watermelon to enjoy sex. With him.
There. Fixed.
She reminds of every girl in Macomb County Michigan…she probably drives a Dodge Neon with the leopard skin steering wheel cover and Class of XX tassle hanging from their rearview mirror several years after they finished high school.
Bet that John McCain really loves to hear that.
As a father, the last thing I need to see is my daughter talking about sex (and burst my thoughts that she’s a virgin and still a little daddy’s girl like when she was a toddler).
Mad Farmer Manifest: and she is a rich, white, sheltered 24 year old who has never had to earn a penny in her life and for whom need and failure have never even been concepts, so that typical 24-year-old’s self-absorbtion is multipled by a 1000.
Custerwolf: She ate all of that yummy pudding we was gonna wrassle in. Also.
Doglessliberal: So it’s a self-absorption singularity? Holy shit, run!
I’ll be damned if I’ll upgrade my Flash player to watch Megan McCain.
Custerwolf: “lipid-formed chastity belt”? Gee, you’re an asshole. I hope a treadmill jumps on you.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Well, Elvis, there was that dikey Daryn Kagan, who supposedly was sharing his bed for a while. Which always puzzled me because she was so butch, and Rush is, well, heterosexual. And how anyone climbs into the sack with “fat bastard” is even more of a mystery. But, if you think it’s food he’s intimate with, my money is on the banana puddin.
But does she think that spermboarding is torture or an enhanced relationship technique?
Omigod omigod, the Republicans are, like, SO awesome! I love being a Republican! It’s, like, the best!
I couldn’t get past that enormous carnival-prize ring she was wearing. Were there Reeses’ Pieces in it or something?
Meghan has all of the poise of her Dad’s running mate. Still, she has the cute “OMG! LOOK AT ME! THE REPUBLICANS ARE LIKE SO AWESOME!!!” thing going. She could easily turn into the weapon Steele wants to get the young people looking at the GOP, if only they could get off their platform that requires women to keep their legs closed.
Custerwolf: Lipid barriers are SEMI-permable.
SomeNYGuy: Neillist? Is that you?
SomeNYGuy: I’m not an asshole. I’m a certified cunt. Don’t make that mistake again or I’ll rip your goddamned nads out with my teeth. Capiche?
Is this appearance going to go on her resume?
Woodwards Friend: I’d say she’s more eastern Oakland County than Macomb County. I went to high school in Bloomfield Hills and she reminds me of so many of the entitled airheads I knew who thinks the fact that they have a trust fund means that their opinions are worth airing.
YAWN. Colbert can normally do wondrous things with professional clueless people (see his interview with Tony Perkins,) but nothing is going to penetrate that wall of blonde. But, then, if anything could, she wouldn’t be going on every talk show that will have her to talk about, um, how she’s allegedly getting penetrated ALLA TIME.
Custerwolf: Film it. Sell it to Republicans. Everyone wins. (excepting that guy in NY)
Mad Farmer Manifest: Fuck that, 20somethings are not taking the blame for Meghan McCain. The blame for that lays squarely on the shoulders of Cindy & her massive wealth, the ever-absent Walnuts and the Republican Party for not explaining to her that she’s actually a Democrat.
okay–I’m getting pannus envy. the only thing worse than the furry-hippo-pannus-on-a-gurney is the idea of the limbaugh-pannus. can we stop saying “pannus” yet?
Just looking at here makes me feel like I’ve come down with a case of instant beer goggles.
Oh goody! Meghan has made me see the light and I’m totally going to join the GOP so I can vote for all of their pro-gay marriage, pro-choice, pro-sex candidates! Yeah! Like, for reals!
You may be one of those rare early twenties folks with your head firmly on your shoulders (rather than up your ass) and a sense of responsibility. I was, too. But when I was 24, most persons my age were spoiled, entitled douches whose mommys and daddys had always done everything. Less money than Cindy and Walnuts, same effect. Not much appears to have changed in 10 years, IMO. America continues to churn out people who shout: “Give me convenience or give me death! Wait, nevermind. I’ll have, like, a taco instead, or something.”
shortsshortsshorts:
Dude, she looks like her father in drag.
jasper f. krone: Hold on:
Panormaic pannus.
Okay now we can.
Mad Farmer Manifest: Agree Completely.
Custerwolf: Goddammit.
PANORAMIC Pannus.
Okay- NOW we can stop.
Maybe.
Mad Farmer Manifest: even if you are not spoiled, you just have not lived enough by age 24 to have the perspective you do at 34. You reach your 30s and a whole lot seems a whole lot less important than it did in your 20s. (well, in people who actually grow up and learn from mistakes. Which eliminates Republicans)
Meghan is explaining why I love banging sexually repressed Republican women.
Custerwolf:
Be as hysterically vulgar as you like- and you are load of both-I still maintain that you are Peggy Noonan IRL.
Prove me wrong, Custerwolf. Prove me wrong.
So why does she so much want to be a Republican, anyways? Oh, right, trust fund, self-absorption, I forgot. Nothing self-serving about that. Plus, Michael Steele!
Custerwolf: Ooooooooooh man.
This is why i’m a fan of Custerwolf.
Crab1: Good, next trucker I see, I’ll be sure to let them know.
Tommmcatt: I still have some of Noonan’s left ovary wedged in my back molar.
Meg should hook up with Levi, so they can both be irrelevant together.
SomeNYGuy: Let me put it this way. Any other set of tits who did NOT have Meg’s cold hard cash and cold limp daddy, would have to maintain a wasteline or have 8 spawn in order to be allowed to join in the dog and pony show we call Teeveeland. Nature gave her good looks and she won’t even lift a finger (I can see why now, with that dogshit monster-ring she’s sporting)to keep her goddamned self in shape. I’m Megs fuckin-MCCain, man.
jetjaguar: Irrelevant can still be worth a fuck or two.
Custerwolf: Eggzackly. Like she can’t afford a personal trainer to chase her privledged ass around.
Custerwolf:
I’m having lunch trouble with that image.
Custerwolf: make that “waistline” - although in this case it’s probably a waste.
Custerwolf: Point taken, but have YOU ever experienced the pain of backing away from a Twinkie? (Hint: it’s not as easy as you’d think!)
DemmeFatale: I’m battle-hardened.
Tommmcatt: And there’s something about WALNUTS is drag that doesn’t turn you on?
SomeNYGuy: Custerwolf don’t need no treadmill. We seen pictures. Don’t matter how old she is, she’s lookin’ good. Ol’ Meg could learn a thing or two from CW.
shortsshortsshorts: Speaking of old goats, there’s a couple down the road that I have to go delouse now. Later.
so what she learned from spending 2 years campaigning for daddy and meeting all those super awesome republicans that she loves and is so proud to have been one of for all of about 2 minutes; is that the key to future republican success, is for the party to run a candidate that stands for the opposite of what her father pretended to believe while he was campaigning? somehow, i don’t think that came out the way she thinks it did.
remind me again why this woman is on my tv?
imissopus: maybe he finally figured out he miss spelt nihilist, that was hilarious while it lasted though.
Did Colbert say that the Republicans liked twitter and face-fucking?
You know, having watched that, my conclusion is, she’s just a kid. She seems idealistic and naive. Snark aside, I’m sure that, over time, the awesome, awesome Republican party is going to disappoint her.
The frightening thing is that when I watched her on the teevee last night I found myself nodding and saying, “She makes more sense than any other Republican out there.” Then I cried. Then I fapped.
Glossary: “24-year-old pro-sex women” means hookers.
hobospacejunkie: You’re too kind. I gotta say, it took alot of six packs to get these abs.
http://i389.photobucket.com/albums/oo336/brontie2/IMG.jpg
Custerwolf: Yikes! Like I, uh, said, um, lookin’ good, baby!
shortsshortsshorts:
Did I say that? I just wanted to make sure you were grooving to the right vibe.
snideinplainsight: Yea, you’re right. She is just an undereducated, privileged, rich, unsophisticated, self-absorbed, simple-minded, lazy, unquestioning, inarticulate, nearly 30 year old kid. Maybe you’ve been too hard on her.
You never want to practice anything you don’t preach.
Yeah, Steven I met soooooooo many super duper 4 tooth people on the campaign who hate teh gays, and mexicans, and blacks, and those scummy icky poor people. And you know the poor people just want to drain wealth creators like me! The republican party rocks!!!
I’m going to give her a pass for a little more curve in her schwerve … look at how miserable her pencil-thin shitbag mommy is. The girl has to equate borderline bulimic with hostile piranha twat.
However, it doesn’t excuse her for being as retarded as a supermodel.
nbawriter: I was only thinking on Meg’s behalf. The more comfortable you are inside your body, the more comfortable you feel having someone else in there with you. And Megs does not strike me as the type of gal who is comfortable in her body. My girlfriend weighs a deuce easy, and enjoys a good role in the hay. I get the feeling Megs would like to be thinner, she doesn’t know who she can ask to give that to her.
I’d never heard her voice before today - & now I’m hoping against all odds that today is the only time I’m subjected to that hybrid of snot & bandsaw. Methinks it’d take a backhoe to irrigate those sinuses. Is there ANY woman in the GOP that doesn’t have a voice that can etch glass?
“Proud of the Republican Party” in 2009? Timing fail. Smug, perky & ridiculous is no way to go through life, girl.
sarcasticusername: “remind me again why this woman is on my tv?”
Any blonde who is willing to giggle the word “sex” four times or more per minute can get on TV. She can even be against sex and it still works. Ask Miss California.
Oh thank crap. The last five or six double-X chromo Elected Ones that made the scene here, I was all, “I would SO hit that. No, I don’t care. What’s WRONG with me! Nurse! Scalpel!”
Now I realize I’m just jonesing for a mature woman who’s totally over her Daddy issues, has all her shit in one sock (enough to rule from a throne of skulls, anyway), wears makeup and girl clothes as a matter of course (”I AM out of bed, you know”) and thinks two piercings are an elegant sufficiency and that tattoos are for merchant sailors and boot camp graduates. Yes, I want to knock the bottom out of Donna Reed. I think the DSM V-RFC lists that as an incurable perversion, but fuck those people.
Thank you, Meghan! You showed me the light! Okay, actually you took the paper bag off my head, but close enough! I would SO NOT hit it! Sorry babe, but if you aren’t getting laid every night at this point, you’re either a rabbit-boiling head case or an FNC-class schtick artist, so look for pity somewhere else…
“I wrote an article!”…
no, you didn’t, you wrote a “blog entry”