HISTORIC EVENTS  2:35 pm May 19, 2009

by Sara K. Smith

This is what everybody in Parliament looks like.ANNNNND HE’S OUT: Michael Martin just became the first Speaker of the House of Commons since uh SIXTEEN HUNDRED AND NINETY-FIVE to be forced out of office. Now Parliamentarians will have to go back to paying for their own goddamned moat-cleaning or else Barack Obama will nominate them all for Commerce Secretary. [GlobalPost]

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Crab1 May 19, 2009 at 2:38 pm

They would’ve probably just force this pauper out for having a dirty moat anyway. Classic catch-22.

Johnny Zhivago May 19, 2009 at 2:39 pm

It’s getting harder and harder to find a job that comes with perks like moat dredging.

Custerwolf May 19, 2009 at 2:41 pm

“And why beholdest thou the moat that is in thy brother’s country estate, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”

jagorev May 19, 2009 at 2:43 pm

I say it’s time for the Queen to reassert Divine Right, or droit de seigneur, or whatever it’s called. How f*cking awesome would it be if she just dismissed parliament altogether?

jagorev May 19, 2009 at 2:45 pm

Silly Brits. Don’t they know you’re supposed to expense moat-cleaning to the RNC?

Suds McKenzie May 19, 2009 at 2:47 pm

this is India … right?

OrangeAlert May 19, 2009 at 2:51 pm

Wow, that photographer is talented…how often do you see dark clouds over London?

It was probably for the best, anyway; having a Scottish “Speaker” of anything is bound to lead to confusion.

Lord Growing May 19, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Wait. The new Speaker is literally “dragged to the chair”?
We need to steal this tradition.

Cape Clod May 19, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Silly bugger. You don’t claim moat cleaning as an expense, you get a wealthy lobbyist for the pharmaceutical industry to do it for you.

tcb May 19, 2009 at 2:55 pm

1695 is like yesterday in England. The place is so old that the cemeteries are stacked five deep. Creeped me out when I visited the place.

Come here a minute May 19, 2009 at 2:55 pm

Margin’s resignation had nothing to do with the moat expense thing — he is leaving because he has been appointed Minister of Silly Walks.

Zadig May 19, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Shit, did we ever even get a Commerce Secretary?

And wouldn’t HHS be in charge of Moat Cleaning at the White House? Or is it HUD? I can never remember.

Brendan M. May 19, 2009 at 3:03 pm


x111e7thst May 19, 2009 at 3:04 pm

[re=320256]jagorev[/re]: The droit du seigneur is where the lord gets to fuck the peasant chicks before they get to get married. Do you think the queen has enough stamina to be fucking a bunch of peasant chicks? Would she want to? In this more egalitarian and less sexist time should peasant boys be included?

RoscoePColtraine May 19, 2009 at 3:05 pm

I wouldn’t let anybody near my moat. I’ll scrub it myself. Only way to know it’s ready to use.

x111e7thst May 19, 2009 at 3:06 pm

[re=320287]Zadig[/re]: Superfund site? EPA I think.

SayItWithWookies May 19, 2009 at 3:07 pm

[re=320256]jagorev[/re]: It’s a sad state of affairs when Canadia can prorogue their rebellious underlings but that power doesn’t exist in the Queen’s own land.

Joshua Norton May 19, 2009 at 3:08 pm

[re=320275]Lord Growing[/re]: I’d like to see it updated to dragging the speaker FROM the chair. And all the way down the Capitol steps.

jagorev May 19, 2009 at 3:10 pm

[re=320301]x111e7thst[/re]: Congress needs to give droit du seigneur to Obama, immediately.

shortsshortsshorts May 19, 2009 at 3:13 pm

[re=320260]jagorev[/re]: CLONING IS WRONG, unless it’s good for the economy. In fact, if we started cloning child workers, we would have an endless work force. Therefore the GOP’s position on cloning will be changing soon. In fact, you can eat the children after they aren’t useful on the assembly line, so it’s kindove a win win all around.

God, Country, and Jail May 19, 2009 at 3:16 pm
queeraselvis v 2.0 May 19, 2009 at 3:20 pm

Cute pic of Prince Wills you found there, SKS. The dress really flatters his figure.

Custerwolf May 19, 2009 at 3:26 pm

[re=320317]God, Country, and Jail[/re]: Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Suds McKenzie May 19, 2009 at 3:35 pm

moat cleaning .. – water boarding. None of our God Dam business.

Bearbloke May 19, 2009 at 3:39 pm


Red Zeppelin May 19, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Is he being anally crucified? Or at least flogged in the public square? I love those cherished Anglo-Saxon customs!

zenferret May 19, 2009 at 3:57 pm

[re=320357]Red Zeppelin[/re]: So like am I evil and spend too much time here when I saw the silly Notre Dame mortar board cover thingies with the cross and baby feet and wondered why they wanted to anally crucify some baby?

OzoneTom May 19, 2009 at 5:13 pm

One of them must be so hard-up that he’s selling of this collection to pay his moat-cleaners:

I’ll expect Chaney and Dubya to bid it up to ridiculous levels.

Numbat Dundee May 19, 2009 at 6:05 pm

[re=320256]jagorev[/re]: The Queen may welcome the right to bang commoners at will – but would be unlikely to exercise it with regards to any of the current MPS.

Scandalabra May 19, 2009 at 7:17 pm

When I was frequenting the London club scene in the mid-eighties, “moat-dredging” had an entirely different connotation than it does today.

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