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NANCY PELOSI'S HENCHMAN WILL KILL YOU WITH HIS HAT

Check Out Sexy New James Bond RNC Ad!

Hey look they finally hired somebody who has some sort of vestigial sense of humor, and who has seen a movie in the last 40 years! Extra points for the closing shot, which cleverly suggests that Democrats = Pussy. Chew on this while your editor finds some coffee. [YouTube]


10:16 AM on Tue May 19 2009
By Sara K. Smith
1607 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 10:28 am, May 19th, 2009

    So the Repubs are represented by Mr Kidd and Mr Wint?

  2. Decker says at 10:28 am, May 19th, 2009

    When your commercial begins with a quote from Newsmax, you have already achieved fail.

  3. SmutBoffin says at 10:31 am, May 19th, 2009

    Q: Who writes these RNC thingys?

    A: The world’s only artificial intelligence — a computer in the basement of the RNC offices that has been programmed to be a massive dick.

    Who green-lights these things?

    A: An obese, Republican party apparatchik with a crippling porn and Cheetoe addiction and no sense of humor respect for logic (K-Lo, I guess).

    Who produces these things?

    A: Some smartass senator’s son, in his dorm room at Georgetown, using iMovie.

  4. The Unfairman says at 10:34 am, May 19th, 2009

    “Chew on this while your editor finds some coffee.”

    Try the coffee pot, Sara!

    You’re WELCOME!

  5. They won’t get far with this ad. Danjaq doesn’t mess around with people infringing their copyrights.

  6. You can put away your halo, RNC. The only dingleberries that buy this shit are the tiny fraction that believe GeeDub is God’s appointed personal goon.

  7. BigDupa says at 10:45 am, May 19th, 2009

    Now that the CIA is into “truthiness,” they can tell us where the weapons of mass destruction are being stored. Or maybe they told Congress there were no WMDs?

  8. norbizness says at 10:47 am, May 19th, 2009

    “Someone lied about being briefed about all the illegal shit we did! Which makes it legal! Vote GOP! P.S. Fuck you and your no-health-insurance-havin’ ass!”

  9. dijetlo says at 10:49 am, May 19th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: There is a distinct resemblance between Mr Winnt and Speaker Gingrich, there’s also the well documented fact they’re both gay and kill little old ladies in Copenhagen for sport. I think you’ve nailed it Manchu

  10. gurukalehuru says at 10:49 am, May 19th, 2009

    For once, the RNC and I agree on something. Nancy Pelosi is a worthless piece of shit. And if they’ve got the proof that they DID tell her about all the torturing and stuff, well, boy howdy, I’d sure like to see it.

  11. memzilla says at 10:50 am, May 19th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: That explains why my monitor smells from patchouli and keeps orienting itself to face Christopher Street.

    I love how the Republitards are trying to spin this without mentioning that Shrub, Rummy, and Emperor Palpatine were the *source* of the torture.

    Hey, Republitards, that selective memory thing: U HAZ IT. Also.

  12. blueblue says at 10:55 am, May 19th, 2009

    christ….will you all calm down please? I know that, whoever writes the lead-ins, its your job to make them sound interesting but this? “they finally hired somebody who has a vestigial sense of humor…who’s seen a movie in the past 40 years”…to me, it looked like something that a second year Valdosta community college film student could have slapped together.

    but I will give ‘em this. what they lack in originality or irony or..ummm….in the quick-wittedness of a howler monkey, they clearly make up for in spitefulness and thinly veiled animosity.

    same ole RNC. ew.

  13. howell says at 10:56 am, May 19th, 2009

    How long before whoever owns that Bond theme issues a take down notice to YouTube?

  14. SayItWithWookies says at 10:57 am, May 19th, 2009

    Lying to Congress is a serious allegation. Are they just finding this out? How about, “We do not torture.” What’s that, then — some sort of semantically ambiguous, nuanced interpretation of an action based on our state of mind at the time it happened? And you don’t get to answer if you get a kick out of “what the definition of is is.”

  15. AKAM80TheWolf says at 11:01 am, May 19th, 2009

    blueblue:

    FUCK YOU

  16. blueblue says at 11:03 am, May 19th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: good point. that file tape of nancy is at least two hairdos ago. she’s way on to the FLOTUS bouffant now.

  17. blueblue says at 11:04 am, May 19th, 2009

    AKAM80TheWolf: charming AND witty. you must be a republican.

  18. Capitol Hillbilly says at 11:06 am, May 19th, 2009

    howell: Monty Norman. Soon.

  19. Kaylub says at 11:10 am, May 19th, 2009

    What White House press pool report sincerely thought Nancy Pelosi lying about how the CIA lied to her would “alarm the American public?” The American public obviously doesn’t even care about the stuff she’s accusing ‘em of lying about.

  20. ManchuCandidate says at 11:10 am, May 19th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies:
    Hero of the US America and Greatest Marine alive Ollie North does not approve!

  21. TimesUp says at 11:16 am, May 19th, 2009

    Watching the Repuglicans act out this charade has a bigger wince factor than watching Nixon say “I am not a crook.” We have come to a point in political transparency that the BS they’re slinging at Speaker Pelosi just does not past the sniff test. Everything they say is misinformational talking points dissemination and tainted by political desperation. Oh, the humanity!

  22. Come here a minute says at 11:17 am, May 19th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: “What the definition of is is” is the American Way.

  23. thefrontpage says at 11:19 am, May 19th, 2009

    From the transcripts:

    CIA Operative: Do you expect me to talk?

    Pelosi: No, Mr. Operative. I expect you to lie.

  24. Mara47 says at 11:22 am, May 19th, 2009

    The CIA tells lies? Oh no! It seems like only yesterday they were guilty of nothing more egregious than assassinating inconvenient world leaders.

  25. kthxbai...also says at 11:26 am, May 19th, 2009
  26. 19kevin8 says at 11:27 am, May 19th, 2009

    Come here a minute: And here I thought the American way was scheming to bilk the people out of billions of dollars by giving no-bid contracts to your friends in the defense industry…
    Silly me!

  27. Beau Radley says at 11:38 am, May 19th, 2009

    thefrontpage: Thanks for that. You made me laugh out loud which is apparently not acceptable behavior in Cubicle City

  28. Country Club Jihadi says at 11:41 am, May 19th, 2009

    He Bond Girl name is “Botoxi Galore”.

  29. OReillysVibrator says at 11:42 am, May 19th, 2009

    If I start a fire will Major Garrett please go die in it?

  30. SayItWithWookies: It’s actually a specific parsing of the word “We”. I he can claim the royal we, and then claim that he did not personally whack any prisoners, then “‘we’ did not torture”.

  31. x111e7thst says at 11:44 am, May 19th, 2009

    blueblue: I’d have thought the ALL CAPS was a dead giveaway.

  32. El Pinche says at 11:47 am, May 19th, 2009

    Now you can’t wingnuts to stop talking about Pelosi. It was funnier when they were talking about the <a href=Dijon Incident of 2009.

    Even brainless spouses of wingnuts who like to dick slapped by Jesse Ventura.

  33. BklynIlluminati says at 11:47 am, May 19th, 2009

    I’d like to defend Pelosi but not for nothing she is a dick too sometimes

  34. RoscoePColtraine says at 11:55 am, May 19th, 2009

    So is Nancy Pelosi the sexy but evil ‘Bond Girl’? Does that make Cheney the the evil freak-show troll villain? And Hopey is double-oh-seven! Yay RNC!!!

  35. SayItWithWookies says at 11:58 am, May 19th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: Oh, can we get him to look all weepy about this, like he did when he was testifying before Congress? You know, about selling weapons to our enemies to finance the coke dealers/revolutionaries in Nicaragua.

    bago: “This administration does not torture. However, the fourth branch of government, Dick Cheney, will shackle you to the floor and set a trained dog out to eat your calf muscles while you watch.”

  36. Lascauxcaveman says at 12:04 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Heh. I’m Sara on this one. The ad was kinda funny.

    Evil, but funny. And the pussy reference. Oh, Dems, you been bitchslapped.

    I can’t tell if the Pelosi-lied-about-being-lied-to is actually a big-deal mainstream story yet (we Wonketteers tend to get a little too close and on dwell on this type of shit) but if I were an important Democrat who got a chance to say something in the media, I’d say “Why are you reporters talking about some congresslady, when you should be talking about, y’know, the torturers? Nancy wasn’t there attaching jumper cables to some brown guy’s dick.”

  37. SomeNYGuy says at 12:14 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: They get paid the big bucks NOT to say sensible things like that.

  38. proudgrampa says at 12:23 pm, May 19th, 2009

    BklynIlluminati: I used to be active in the SF Bay Area Democratic Party, and met Pelosi several times at various functions and meetings. She always struck me as, somehow, duplicitous. I guess my conclusion is that you cannot spend as much time in politics as she has without either bending the truth or forgetting what it is.

  39. DC Hates Me says at 12:25 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Does the GOP really want to make Nancy Pelosi into a sexy Bond girl? How will that hurt her?

  40. Lascauxcaveman says at 12:27 pm, May 19th, 2009

    proudgrampa: you cannot spend as much time in politics as she has without either bending the truth or forgetting what it is.

    Which is why our Hopey still burns so brightly. He’s so young and fresh, he hasn’t had to lie very much (yet.) More young dudes, and especially young chicks, for high office!

  41. proudgrampa says at 12:31 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: I couldn’t agree with you more. This is also an argument for term limits.

  42. eclecticbrotha says at 12:33 pm, May 19th, 2009

    The GOP’s obsession with this little lady from Frisco is pretty pathetic. What’s even more fail is the way Democrats, Progressives and media stooges are getting sucked in by wingnut propaganda.

    By the by, I’m guessing no one even noticed the subtle suggestion that someone in the CIA needs to take a shot at Ms. Pelosi in the opening seconds of the clip. In the real Bond intro you have 007 seen through the sight of an assailant’s gun as he wheels around and fires at the camera, followed by the fade to crimson that’s supposed to suggest Bond killing his would be attacker. Here you have Pelosi in the gun sights as she addresses reporters, a loud “bang!” followed by crimson dripping down to cover the screen. Is Madame Speaker getting the drop on the CIA sniper? I think not.

    The right wing noise machine just can’t stop the violent rhetoric, can they?

  43. TeddyS says at 12:40 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Drum roll, please. President Obama today named Nancy Pelosi to the Supreme Court.

    ==

    “And, lo, the spies among men came to ashes and in knots their tongues were tied sheepshank.” Balonicus 7:3

  44. engulfedinflames says at 12:48 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: “can’t tell …if it’s big story yet” i would be amazed if 10% of the populace could tell you who nancy pelosi is; of that number i’d guess 2% pro, 2% con and 6% no opinion. (the 2 % con would be unable to give a reason other than “i heard it on fox news” one of hopeys problems is that he over estimates the intelligence of his flock, this is a country overflowing with ignorant assholes. ( i know, i am one).

  45. Fae Yin says at 12:51 pm, May 19th, 2009

    I hate to say this.. but this is almost true. The one message I take from this is that the dems are pussies. Who the hell can argue with that the way they keep rolling over on things that should be so easy for them to win?

    Is this an attack ad or a public service announcement addressed to the Dems?

    It’s like they’re either telling them to step up or they’re taunting them.

  46. SayItWithWookies says at 12:52 pm, May 19th, 2009

    BklynIlluminati: Well of course that’s why the Republicans have jumped on this — because it involves one of their longest-running socialist bogeymen (or bogeypersons or whatever). She’s like Hillary — you just shake the Pelosi doll in some circles and faces turn red and spit starts flying.
    Unfortunately, their noise has only a thin veneer of facts to back it up. And even less so now: Rep. David Obey sent a letter to Panetta saying that ther’s another factual error in their little cocked-up spreadsheet of guesses that’s supposedly evidence that Pelosi knew about everything beforehand:
    http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/archives/2009/05/smoke_and_mirrors.php?ref=fpblg

  47. Accordion-o-rama says at 1:20 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Do not want to chew. Looks gristly.

  48. ProfessorJukes says at 1:27 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Sooooo…. this will work for the RNC? Help polish that image of extremist gun nuts who hate our government and are prone to outbreaks of vitriol and violence?

    Because I could NOT think of a better way to change that image than to *see the Speaker of the US House of Representatives through a rifled gun barrel, and then have the whole screen around her turn red as it is DRENCHED WITH BLOOD.*

    Perfect.

  49. Mr Blifil says at 1:30 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Nothing is funnier than depicting a politician from the point of view of the barrel of a high powered rifle.

  50. Mr Blifil says at 1:32 pm, May 19th, 2009

    blueblue: Totaly agree. The text they invoke at the beginning is literally illegible. This was done by someone’s son on a PC version of Adobe Premiere for a handful of free sandwich coupons.

  51. Servo says at 1:44 pm, May 19th, 2009

    I understand that the Dems want to appear all bipartisany so as not to hand the Repukes any ammo. However, certain situations demand that they subscribe to the cleansing power of anger and publicly tell the Repukes to go fist themselves.

  52. dirtyboypdx says at 2:01 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Is anyone seriously going to be like: OMG I LUV THE CIA I CAN’T BELIEVE PELOSI INSULTED THEM!!!!

    Seriously. And if anyone really does love the CIA, are they all that’s left of the Republican base? Crazy right-wing spying affectionados? Because frankly, even the Republicans I do know don’t think of the CIA as some benign, benevolent agency.

  53. Quick Fixer says at 2:08 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Wait, I’m confused. So the Speaker of the House accuses the CIA of lying to Congress, and the tagline is “Lack of Leadership?” What was she supposed to do?

    OH I GET IT NOW, it’s because that reporter-man said we’re at war, and you’re not supposed to accuse the CIA of treason in a time of war. Because since the last president said we’re at war with a concept, we totally are! That’s how war works!

    The Speaker can’t suggest there is disunion in the government because we have always been at war with Eurasia. I get it now. A+++ would fail to understand the underlying assumptions again.

  54. mikeyboypdx says at 3:39 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Can the Jooish Cabal (TM)that controls Hollyweird please sue the RNC for copyright infringement? I’m sure the Joos (TM) control the registration of the James Bond theme, as they control everything else.

    Or failing that, maybe the Homosexual Mafia (TM)can go beat the shit out of Michael Steele?

  55. mikeyboypdx says at 3:42 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Maybe the Jooish Cabal (TM) that controls Hollyweird can sue the shit out of the RNC for copyright infringement over illegal use of the James Bond theme?

    Or failing that, can the Homosexual Mafia (TM) go beat the fuck out of Michael Steele?

  56. mikeyboypdx says at 3:44 pm, May 19th, 2009

    Jesus fucking christ I’m sorry, managed to put up essentially the same posting twice.

    I apparently have as many functioning brain cells today as all the Republican’ts in Alabama combined.

  57. AKAM80TheWolf says at 4:37 pm, May 19th, 2009

    mikeyboypdx:

    We normally don’t beat the shit out of people, we make them fabulous with sexy slaps.

  58. mikeyboypdx says at 4:59 pm, May 19th, 2009

    AKAM80TheWolf: Are you a Joo (TM) or a Butt Pirate (TM)?

  59. AKAM80TheWolf says at 10:23 pm, May 19th, 2009

    mikeyboypdx:

    Are (TM) there (TM) no (TM) Jewish (TM) Butt (TM) Pirates (TM) ?

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